Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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A New Book & a Stronger Hold on a Locked Worry Door

   This month our famous little Oklahoma book club, Dinner Club With a Reading Problem, is trying something a little different. We are reading Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love, which I have just started and am already, well loving. Thank you sweet Stephanie for the assignment!

   For a while we all had been hearing nibblets of wisdom associated with this woman (perhaps so have you) and I had mistakenly thought she was the author of A Course in Miracles. Not so, She studied Course in her youth and became quite an accomplished student of its philosophies and teachings. She started giving lectures, which turned into speaking events, which grew into her book and subsequent wild popularity. I urge you to join us in reading the book if you have a little time.

   Okay.

   Since I’ve only just begin to tread A Return to Love and certainly have not yet read the Course, tonight I only have a little nibble for you. But it’s a doozie.

   You know how for months I have been prattling on and on about positive thinking? Perhaps you have heard mention of the Secret from time to time, or at least you tune into the notion that counting our blessings is the way to go? Right. Also, the Worry Door. Were you a regular guest of this digital Lazy W when I wrote about that?

   If you have a couple of minutes, I would love for you to read what happened almost a year ago: I had a bonafide vision that has since guided me away from a worried lifestyle. It has been revolutionary for me, and slowly I am seeing actual, tangible results in my life, in my relationships, in my earthly circumstances.

   You guys. The repeated wisdom here is too intense to brush off as coincidence.

   This Return to Love is echoing all the best things to my heart, in just the first few chapters.

   It is either going to be one of those books I read in a single day or one of those books that takes me a month because every page, no, every paragraph, warrants note taking and essay writing.

   I know you have many good things to do, but please let me share something small with you. These are Marianne Williamson’s words:

“I realized, many years ago, that I must be very powerful if I could mess up everything I touched, everywhere I went, with such amazing consistency. I figured there must be a way to apply the same mental power, then embedded in neurosis, in a more positive way. A lot of today’s most common psychological orientation is to analyze the darkness in order to reach the light, thinking that if we focus on our neuroses- their origins and dynamics- then we will move beyond them. Eastern religions tell us that is we go for God, all that is not authentically ourselves will drop. Go for the light and darkness will disappear. Focus on Christ means focus on the goodness and power that lie latent within us, in order to invoke them into realization and expression. We get in life that which we focus on. Continual focus on darkness leads us, as individuals and as a society, further into darkness. Focus on the light brings us into the light.”

   What do you think? Yes, a sentence up there smacks of humanism, but I am not suggesting a debate. Just an effort to see how much we all have in common. It’s really both refreshing and terrifying to see the pillars of Christian faith expressed in such light-filled, inclusive language.

   Have you read The Secret? Or the Bonhoeffer biography yet? Or C.S. Lewis’ Abolition of Man? Speaking only for my own spiritual journey, I know these books have found their way to me for a reason, a complicated and wonderful weave of ideas and expressions. Now Return to Love. Wow.

   Positive thinking is powerful. Negative thinking is powerful. Our thoughts manifest. We all are members of the church, the body of Christ, regardless of man-made denomination. Love is the bottom line.

   I am listening, Universe.

“Worry is a Misuse of the Imagination.”
~Dan Zadra
xoxoxoxo

You are Loved

Happy Wednesday friends!
I hope you see love and feel love
around every corner.
I hope you find new ways 
to express it.
Be soft when you can.
You are loved.
xoxoxoxo

Senses Inventory: Sleepy Stormy Morning

Good morning sweet friends.
I don’t know about you, but I am a little sleepy today.
Thunderstorms, lightning, and heavy rain woke us up in the wee hours, 
gripping the house rudely, slashing apart the sky, and rising the pond another foot or so.
I think I was already seventy-three or seventy-four percent awake when that started, though,
so my mascara-smeared eyes are about five hours short on sleep.
The dark, moody environment is beautiful but not exactly conducive 
to a chipper, energetic launch into activity. 
As I finish some excellent coffee and gather my scraps of energy
for today’s work and projects…
a quick senses inventory.

See:  Blue-white twinkle lights draped on our fireplace mantle. Colorful living rooms furnishings around me and new artwork on a gallery wall to my left. Clean wood floor. Spiky houseplant adorned with a bright blue parrot feather. A lidded, blue mason jar filled with pens and pencils. Short stack of notebooks, magazines, and books to read.

Hear: Wind pushing angrily into the chimney. Crashing, rumbling thunder. Rain. Groaning doors and windows, like I am in a ship on the ocean not a house on the plains. Guineas alerting us to a raccoon caught in a live trap overnight.

Taste: Perfect coffee. Remnants of breakfast, which was a cheesy sausage omelette. Minty kiss from Handsome still on the front of my lips.

Smell: Coffee. Coconut-vanilla scented wax. Occasionally a waft of rain or the last trace of that wonderful toasted bread fragrance.

Touch: Air conditioning kicking on early today, slicing charitably through the humidity. Lace tablecloth at my wrists. Bare feet on a squeaky, shiny wood floor. Cuffed jeans I have now worn for three days straight.

Think: How do I measure up? Should I rearrange my schedule? Should I stop blogging and just write? Will my little cucumber sprouts survive the floods? I hope the herb bed fills in soon.

Feel:  Cautiously optimistic about some important unknowns in life. Grateful. Creative but sleepy. A little wistful to have said goodbye to Mortimer the garden-munching turtle. Homesick for my girls but so thrilled for their health and well being. Excited for the big things coming for each of them. Also still feeling extremely, shamefully romantic.

Thanks for joining me today! 
I would sure love to know how the world looks, 
smells, tastes, and feels where you are.
Have an amazing day.
xoxoxoxo

I Love Having a Husband Who…

…is dressed up all handsome and sharp for church and still spontaneously walks through damp grass to check on my turtle, give him extra water, and pull his terrarium to the shade.

…is running a fever and battling a ferocious headache yet still musters the strength to work half a day chainsawing fallen trees, repairing buffalo fence, and patching a chicken coop after storms.

…would not hurt his Dad’s feelings for all the Baskin Robbins peanut-butter ice cream in the world.

…prizes truth over tradition and joy over drama.

…has a way of making every one of his employees feel like a valued team member… maximized, appreciated, supported, and propelled into more than any lesser leader would dare dream.

…brags openly about my home-cookin’ but when we are alone on the weekend begs me to get take out so I am not away from him for hours in the kitchen. He would rather cuddle when possible. Unless the menu is Alfredo pizza or fish tacos. The cuddlin’ can wait just a little while.

…can make me laugh so hard when I feel like crying.

…hates to read books but supports my feverish bibliophilia and also makes generous space in our life for Dinner Club With a Reading Problem.

…has little personal interest in small scale gardening (his family is more into farming) but will happily spend an entire weekend building me fences, raised beds, trellises, canopies, and anything else I am foolish enough to mention off-handedly.

…and can grow an indoor plant like nobody’s business.

…can shift smoothly from consummate professional to affectionate husband then to strong, capable animal tender and back to affectionate husband again. In a blink, no problem.

…collects childhood toys shamelessly.

…and also freely admits to having an insatiable appetite for buying and selling interesting cars.

…teaches our adult Sunday school class, infusing it with historical scope, reasonable thinking, and intelligence.

…begs me to write a book, just a fun story, so we can get rich and retire at the beach. The fact that he believes I can do it is terrifying but wonderful.

…claims to be an antisocial person but loves our friends as much as I do and is actually the life of every party we throw.

…happily encourages me to open the farm for visitors… for an hour, for a night, for a week.

…knows every bird at the Lazy W by name and personality.

…loves our baby llama just like a first time Daddy. She loves him back, too. This all breaks my heart in unexpected ways.

…looks at me in ways that make me want to protect him from the world then holds me in ways that make me know I am protected forever.

…is the smartest, most ambitious and capable man I have ever met or heard of.

…endures my petty female jealousies.

…then flirts deliciously with women but never makes me fear for his loyalty.

…and then endures my petty punishments.

…and is ferociously protective of me if he thinks I am being flirted with.

   Mostly I am just so thankful to have this man love me. The longer I know him, the more we experience together and learn, and the better I see him for who he is in the context of this complicated world… the more I am in awe. Whether we are facing tornadoes and hail or the equally destructive storms of life and relationships, I know I am safe with him. I know that together we can accomplish pretty much anything and enjoy pretty much all the world has to offer.

   I love you, sir. So much. You deserve the best and a million dreams come true. Happy Monday.

Always, Now, and Forever.
xoxoxoxo

Tiny Farm Update and a Book Review: Impatient With Desire

   Happy Wednesday to all! Today I have good stuff to share. Mostly, an excellent book recommendation. Scroll down for that. And? It occurred to me that in the midst of the tornado news I have been remiss in mentioning here on the blog some very, very happy news. How embarrassing! If you follow us on Facebook or Instagram then you already know that Handsome and I are enjoying the company of an adorable brand spankin’ new baby llama! Yep, Seraphine finally delivered her cria exactly thirteen days ago. The baby is a little girl and is healthy and happy, growing by the hour it seems. We have named her Dulcinea del Toboso, after Don Quixote’s fabled love interest and muse, but we affectionately call her Little Bit. I am pretty sure my husband has lost his big heart to this sweet little creature, and I am totally okay with that. You should see them play together.

She is the most precious thing that has ever walked on four llama hooves.

   Now… Another book review. I gobbled up this volume two weekends ago, right before the tornadoes, and really, really, really want you to read it. Really. Okay? Okay, here we go.

   First, just take a quick look-see at this cover art and make a mental note of what you think this book is about. Maybe go ahead and scribble your quickest impressions on a piece of scrap paper, also noting whether it is a book you would choose to read. Be honest.

Impatient With Desire by Gabrielle Burton, Published by Rare Bird Books

   What was your immediate reaction? I am so curious about this. Despite the fact that we all grew up hearing, “Never judge a book by its cover,” I pretty much judged this little book by its cover. Harshly. And I let it languish on my dusty shelves for over a year. Neglected, shunned, unread because I thought it was a Puritan romance or something. Not my groove, man.

   How wrong I was. Luckily one recent weekend I possessed the presence of mind to actually read the story description and was immediately hooked. I plunged right in on Saturday morning, consuming a third of the story before coming up for air. Then that Sunday night I woke suddenly at 2 am, eyes unable to even blink shut, and realized I was desperate to finish the book. I crept downstairs and did so, and now I have that settled, satisfied, wonderful feeling. I want you to have this feeling too.

   I want YOU to read THIS BOOK. It is so short and so well written that you can tackle it in one average airplane ride. Or two afternoons on a lounge chair. Or three sleepless night.

   What is it about, you ask? The Donner party. You know who I’m talking about. The band of American pioneers in the mid 1800’s who headed west toward California? The ones who got stuck in the snowy mountains? The group rumored to have survived by cannibalism???

   Now you’re with me.

   Yes, I do feel a little bad sensationalizing this book review, but the truth is that most people probably identify the Donner party with cannibalism. It’s just how our culture works. The delicious surprise here (sorry, couldn’t resist) is that Impatient With Desire serves up (I really can’t stop) a slow, tortuous, truly moving insight to the human experiences of starvation, isolation, hope, fear, faith, commitment, survival, and, of course, death. It really is the Donner party story like you have never heard it. Not even the History channel on its best, most creative day can grip your heart like Burton has done with this artistic and believable story.

   Burton writes in a journal format, in the voice of one woman exclusively, Mrs. Tamsen Donner. The leader’s wife. Scrap all preconceived notions you might already have about this woman and prepare yourself to want to know more about her than one book can offer. It is so good. Also, just accept that all conversations you have so far had regarding cannibalism and your personal tipping points, morality, situational ethics, etc, etc… are tainted by lofty ideas and a cruel disconnect from the realities of hunger that abject.

   Then read this book.
   And discuss it all over again with smart people who have also read it.

“I used to argue that we can improve on nature, 
or at least not be as brutal as nature. 
I don’t have the luxury of theoretical debates anymore, 
nor am I as sentimental as I once was.” 
~Tamsen Donner, letter to her sister. 

   Much worse than judging books by their covers is the crime of judging people who have faced things we have never even imagined.

   Aside from the obvious themes, something lovely ran through the book consistently and caught my attention. It was Mrs. Donner’s mantra that, “We all came here strangers to ourselves.” Tamsen Donner said this repeatedly, her own understanding deepening each time, and it made more and more sense to me too. How often do we learn about our own hearts through trials? How true is it that while living life we learn about ourselves as much as or maybe more than we learn about the world?

   Many other, skinnier threads are up for grabs, too. Skinny threads, but not delicate. This book is short but packed with life.

  • Patriotism and adventure…
  • Early American feminism (the Donner marriage was fascinating)…
  • The concept that a family is raised by community and not one parent… 
  • How do we view animals? Pets, workers, food… And how do we honor them? 
  • The importance of contemporaneous journalling… (I plan to blog about this very thing soon. It’s cropping up everywhere I look!)
  • How dangerously and wonderfully our moods can affect each other, especially in relationships like marriage and especially in close physical quarters…
  • Regret, purpose, hindsight, the limited power of our own lessons learned to help others…
  • The intrinsic value of physical labor…
  • Also the intrinsic value of routine, schedules, and structure to combat mental fatigue…
  • Life cycles and poetry…
  • Religion, proselytizing, and cultural respect…
  • The societal value of ceremony, the luxury of it, and the power of a well written obituary…
  • The complexities of acts of faith…
  • What life do we bring to a home? What actual contributions do each of us make?
  • You cannot escape yourself simply by relocating.
  • Which are you, at heart: a keeper of the home or an adventurer? Does your life reflect this truth?
  • …and so very many other insights to human nature, both the beautiful and the abhorrent.

   Whew! Like I said, this book is short but powerful. The author achieved something wonderful here, and I sure hope you take time to absorb and enjoy it.

My friends have sweet hook ups.

   Bonus announcement: My friend Julia with the sweet literary hook ups is who gifted me this book in the first place. She has recently intimated that I stand a pretty decent chance of meeting and interviewing the author.

   You guys. This is my favorite thing ever, meeting and interviewing authors of excellent books like this. I will of course keep you posted.

   In closing, a community question: If Gabrielle Burton visits the Lazy W, what should I serve? Steak tartare?

Read books! 
Read All the Books!!
xoxoxoxo