Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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How Ducks Got Me Going Today

   Early this morning during Hot Tub Summit, Handsome and I watched with great delight as our three resident Mud Ducks circled low over the farm. They have been visiting the pond tentatively for a few weeks now, staying longer and longer every day. Auditioning us, it would seem, for their winter abode. Finally, they seem to not mind the raucous geese so much, and fortunately the llama has not yet learned that he can swim; so on the water, at least, the ducks are safe.

   They flew with their wings almost overlapping, so perfectly synchronized that they seemed almost to be one bird. Another thing we noticed is that they began their early morning flight long before dawn. The sun was still an hour below the eastern horizon, and our rain-promising clouds were still obscuring what remained of the waning moon. The big forest Owl was still up, too, still sending out his hunger and power into the damp morning.

   All this darkness, all this fog and mist and danger, and still they danced playfully.

   Wishing you all the courage and inspiration you need to get through your day today! Take pleasure in whatever you do. Face your fears. Delight in your blessings. Live fully despite whatever darkness is there. Someone is probably watching who needs your example.

“Love recognizes no barriers. 
It jumps, hurdles, leaps fences, penetrate walls 
to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
~Maya Angelou
xoxoxoxo

Snow Day at the Farm

   This past Friday morning most of our Great State received a soft, thick blanket of snow. Arriving a little past the Christmas morning forecast, perhaps, but made far more beautiful by the element of surprise. 

   I was working upstairs, receiving texts from friends and family of what snow they were seeing all over Oklahoma, noting only a dark, cold, dry morning outside. I admit, I felt a little teeny tiny bit sorry for myself  Just a smidge. Snow is just plain fabulous, but still I tried convincing my childish heart that I was sad for good reason. That we need the moisture here so badly.
   Then I heard the horses whinny kinda oddly, much differently than I am used to hearing, sort of a wiggly whinny, a silly sound, and I looked outside to investigate. Imagine my shock and thrill to discover that in no more than five distracted minutes, during my wintry pity party, the Lazy W had been covered by the pure white fluffy stuff! 
I was squealing with excitement! 
The snow fell so rapidly and silently, I almost couldn’t believe it!
   That wiggly whinny was the horses celebrating! I think.
   The snow fell quietly on our dark nine acres for almost three hours, piling up about two inches of cold frosting all over every exposed surface (including all of our llamas). I watched, checked everyone for safety and water, and admired it all, then huddled myself back inside the house with Pacino. He and I had a lot of work to do. Like read Louisa May Alcott and drink hot lovely things and gaze at the Christmas lights. Oh, and watch for paper white blooms.
Paper white blooms = totally worth the wait
   Then sometime midday the sun reemerged with a vengeance and made the winter wonderland downright comfortable. Sparkling and fresh, cold but not frigid. In fact, the blacktop surfaces all warmed up quickly and made walking around super easy.
Ever faithful Mia watched and waited during my snow carving 
of our ranch brand here, and then he followed me all over the farm, 
honking melodramatically and kicking up little snow flurries of his own.
Silly goose. Snow goose. Silly, lovesick, loyal snow goose.

My goose.
  
The snow was caught in pretty little pockets in every tree, ornamenting them beautifully.

For some reason, seeing the Talking Tree dressed in white almost made me cry.
But that bright sunshine crawling over its shoulder cheered me up completely.
The summertime swing, wet from melted snow, hung perfectly still 
from the tree’s thickest branch, ready for another little girl or boy to come visit.
   Most of the animals played in the snow gleefully. Perhaps four or five of the chickens stayed cozied up in their brick and mortar coop, but everyone else (led boldly by Tomato) braved the elements and explored all afternoon. They each left their own kind of tracks, proving once and for all that mostly what our animals do all day is walk in circles.

Some of our bravest poultry souls exploring Friday afternoon.
That dragon in the background, by the way, is Zeke.
I haven’t really shared much of him yet.
We are full of secrets.


Chanta seemed to enjoy the snow more than anyone.
Can you see Romulus in the back ground here? Supervising. Of course.
  
Hello, Green Goose garden gate, old friend.
I miss you. But I haven’t forgotten you.
We have big plans together this year, you and me.
Enjoy your slow, cold drink and sleep soundly.
For in a few short weeks, we get to the business of GROWING.
Our front gate sign
    Today, most of the snow is already melted. Only what fell inside the shadows of our buildings is still gripping the dead grass there; and that is wildly perforated by every variety of animal tracks. We are very thankful both for the drink of moisture and the fun snowy afternoon as well as for the quick melt and conspicuous absence of power outages. We are so thankful for heat, for a full pantry and freezer, and for animals who are healthy and happy enough to endure a rare winter storm.

   Heather, my Canadian friend who writes at New House New Home New Life, reports a respectable ten inches of snow this week! My cousin in Colorado celebrates snow regularly, too. It is slightly less of a fact of life for us here in Oklahoma, but we love it when it does come. How about you? Is your late December snowy?

Brr! Stay Cozy!!
xoxoxoxo

Our Lazy W Nativity

   Happy Sunday everyone!! Today is Christmas Eve-Eve!! Around here that’s a big deal. Yesterday was “Christmas Eve Cubed,” suggesting that suspense is a vital ingredient for our holiday magic. Happiness and excitement cost nothing. Neither does cuddling, watching recorded holiday movies, keeping freshly baked cookies secretly in your pocket, or eating meals slowly and indulgently with people you love. Okay.

   Today I’d like to share with you fine citizens and scholars our Lazy W Christmas card. A few people have already received this via snail mail or inter-office delivery, but still more will receive this eventually in the flesh. No one knows when, though, because, and this is a bit of little known trivia, I am currently tied with eight other people for the distinction of World’s Most Unorganized Person. The thing is, I need some addresses. Like, a lot of them. But I am insisting that sending cards a tad late really only extends the holiday cheer! Christmas is a feeling more than a date, right? And surprises are fun. Like, the surprise of whether your holiday card will arrive at Christmas or, say, Easter. Okay.

   Here it is, folks, in all of it’s quirky glory. Handsome lovingly obliged my imagination with his mad skills and whipped up this sweet little family portrait. Here you see a representative of every animal group in our little menagerie, with the sad exception of the honey bees. I know, I know, they are a huge addition to the farm this year, but it was just so cold the day we had this photo shoot, and they need to stay huddled up as much as possible. Okay.
   This photo shoot was pure drama from the get go. First of all, everyone was late. I had sent out crystal clear information to all of the fields and paddocks no fewer than four days in advance that on Monday afternoon at 4:30  we would be distributing festive hats and getting into position. The horses were to be brushed; the geese were to have bathed in the pond; and the cat was not to be hunting in the forest. Everyone except Chunk-Hi was late. No one was clean. And the chaos of keeping all the animals still, even while bribing them with Nabisco treats, was basically ridiculous. Where is Olan Mills when you really need them?
   It occurs to me that not every reader is personally acquainted with every animal pictured here. In the coming year I hope to remedy that on the blog, but for now, allow me to introduce you… From top left, rotating around the group clockwise, are our babies…
   Chunk-Hi the buffalo is at the upper left hand corner. He is dark brown, sorta hard to see here against the forest timber. But look for his luxurious shag and his elf hat. He is my ginormous, face-scratch-loving, deep bass drum snorting, frosty-air-breathin baby.
Chunk loves confetti. He gets that from me.
   Then we have Aprony the gray and white skirted guinea hen, as well as several other pretty guineas, along the roof of the manger. That is how they rule the roost around the farm. They climb stuff. And then poop on it.
The guineas don’t even know how fashionable 
their feathers are in ladies’ accessories right now!
   At the peak of the manger is Bobby Pacino, our macaw. Lord have mercy. He really needs his own blog. I want to write about him all the time, but he sort of takes over my head, and that’s just not healthy. He’s my husband’s technically but my baby really. Hence, his questionable vocabulary.
Pacino was recently heard saying for the first time, 
“I don’t appreciate it, okay?”
   At the bottom of the manger, on the right side, you see a gray and white pony named Dusty. He is the youngest of our horses and belongs to my girls. We gave him to them when he was perhaps a year old and they were little bits themselves. Now they all three are so grown up. Isn’t he cute in his Christmas hat? He’s my baby.
Dusty sporting Horse Feathers
 Tucked discreetly in front of Dusty is Romulus the recently adopted llama. You all know him, right? He is the biggest and most reliable source of drama around this crazy place. And we all love him, except for Daphne. She wishes he would evaporate. Check out his wise ass man hat. 
This photo was taken during one of our legendary staring contests.
   Near Dusty’s feet is the gaggle of geese. Perhaps you are familiar with Mia, the only one in the group wearing a Santa hat. He is the one who thinks himself human and attaches himself to willing women at every opportunity. He’s my baby. With him are Johnny Cash, Pumpkin, Momma, and Other Goose.
Hooonnnk… xoxoxo
  In front of the geese is a spotted guinea named Spot Aprony. To a casual observer, most birds of any feather look alike. But around here we have names for almost every single one. She is Handsome’s baby.
   Directly above that bird and below the Baby Jesus (I know, I know, it’s an anonymous baby) is Tomato the rooster. He. Is. Awesome. He was hatched right here at the Lazy W in the late spring of 2010 and he is overflowing with personality! My cousin’s little boy once painted his talons red. Tomato’s talons, not his own. Because little boys don’t have talons. I feel like you should know that.
   Guarding the manger, playing the role of Mary this year, is our one and only mare, Daphne. She has the prettiest black coat with an undercurrent of leopard spots that really stand out in the sunshine. I love this moody creature to pieces, but she is her daddy’s girl.
   Daphne’s true love, fearless protector, and antagonist, this year playing the role of Joesph, is Chanta, our big paint horse. He is just gorgeous and has a heart of gold. He belongs to my father in law, but I will die on the spot if this horse ever leaves our farm. He is the beast I can brush into a standing sleep. He wraps his thick neck over my shoulders if I need to cry. He naps with me. And he will not allow anything to happen to a small child on his watch. Also, yesterday he totally cold-kicked the llama. I’m not saying we condone kicking; I’m saying this horse doesn’t put up with jaskassery. 
   The animal we have had the longest is Shao-Lin, our sweet little Sharpei. You will not meet a more affectionate animal, or a more territorial one. Love her for sure, but don’t tangle with this girl, ever. Her sweet expression here says nothing of her ferocity.
   Then there’s Fast Woman, our sole surviving barn cat. When I say she is an outside cat, I mean that with all the sternness of a flight attendant asking you to turn off electronic devices. If Fast Woman is brought forcibly into the house, or crammed forcibly into a hollow pumpkin, then she descends into full personality failure within minutes. She will not accept human food as a treat. She will not cuddle while you watch old movies. She will sometimes allow petting, but only if it is on her terms and in a very exact sequence of motions. Can a cat be OCD? She is hunter and an ornament, and she likes it that way.
   The second of our two roosters is seen here, tiptoeing on the baby-less hay manger. He is Peep, and he was hatched on Easter morning of 2009. He is pretty much the cock of the walk and has in fact fathered a few dozen little peeps of his own. His strutting makes my day on a regular basis.
   So there you pretty much have it! Our crazy little animal kingdom wishes you and yours a beautiful, joyous Christmas week laced with miracles and drenched with love! May your tables be filled with really good edibles. May your beds be safe and warm (and fun). Maybe your book shelves and DVD players offer you hours of rest and relaxation. May your sleep be restorative and your time with people as bonding and healing and inspirational as possible.
   Look out for the angels in your life and love them. 
And try to be one, too. 
And kiss your animals.

Thank you so much for visiting the digital Lazy W!
Merry Christmas and Happy new Year!
Much Love,
Handsome, Marie, and the Critters
xoxoxoxo
   
   
   
   
   

A Few Animal Updates

1.   The llama was skunked last night. Or this morning. Or this afternoon. Or possibly all three, judging from his stench, which I caught on a stiff breeze while photographing him today. His pasture-mates are clean as whistles, though, so hopefully this means that Sir Romulus has finally accepted his role as varmint-dismisser. I absolutely swell with pride to imagine him scooping his long, noodly neck really low and trotting aggressively after a black-and-white intruder. Good boy, Romulus. Good, stinky, untouchable boy.

I can’t even cope with how beautiful his eyes are.

2.   The chickens still have not provided me any more eggs. Well, I have collected exactly ONE EGG this week. If by some chance you have been watching my little egg counter on the sidebar over there and wondered if I have just forgotten to update it… No. Just no eggs. Do you know how embarrassing it is to buy a carton of  snow white eggs at the grocery store? I feel like such a fraud. Like everyone there knows. Watching me examine eggs as if I have a choice. Judging me. Calculating in their heads how much money I have wasted on chicken scratch this month. Anyway, the feathery ladies do not appear to be molting; they have plenty of sunshine and fresh water; and only two roosters are around to “bother” them. Hubba hubba. So I know in my calcium-deprived bones that a giant clutch of eggs is somewhere on these nine acres. Somewhere. Not in the barn or the coop, but somewhere I will find them. Eventually. Or I will find a little nursery school of fresh baby chicks, which are only slightly less delicious.

An old photo, from more productive days…

3.   But Mia’s love is still going strong. I sat in the sunny front yard today and fed him and his downy compadres a bag of stale bread, and he cuddled and honked me properly. I happened to be listening to music via headphones at the time, though, and apparently he objected to this. He started pecking at my head and really zeroed in on my headphones, almost in perfect beat to Ice Ice Baby which is the song that was playing at the time. The thing is, Mia is simply too young to appreciate fake rap from that era.

Stop! Collaborate and Listen! Mia’s back!

4.   My friend, neighbor, and fellow book clubber Seri surprised me today with a tray of made-from-scratch sweet potato biscuits! You guys, they are so good. So soft and pillowy and sweet, just the exact thing I needed for an afternoon pick-me-up. But I tore off a little corner and offered it to Chunk-Hi and he not very politely refused. He really likes crunchy treats, we should always try to remember. Oh well, more for me. Thanks Seri!

Crunchy stuff only, please, Momma.

5.   Our parrot, Bobby Pacino, is not only learning new words lately; he is also assembling his growing vocabulary in terrifying fascinating ways. I knew it was coming, because in the days leading up to a burst of new words and phrases, Pacino always sits quietly on his perch, eyes lowered, one claw massaging his throat. I really need to write down every single thing he can say, because it’s pretty impressive. This week his new thing is “I don’t appreciate it, OK?” We’ve heard worse from him, unfortunately, but for some reason this sentence just cracks me up. The thing is, he says it with such appropriate disgust. His inflection, you guys, is spot on.

Someone told me… If you have a parrot 
and you aren’t teaching him to say
“Help! They changed me into a parrot!”
Then you’re wasting your time.

Oblah-Di, Oblah-Dah!
xoxoxoxo
 

Five Senses Inventory, Keeping Happy Vigil

   What a week! Whew. From a family funeral last weekend to celebrating both of our dads’ birthdays, some work travel for Handsome, and a few days of fun with our nephew for me, we have stayed busy and wrung out emotionally. I have lots of photos and stories to share, and happily Proverbs 31 themes are warming up my heart at a nice, healthy boil. But yesterday one of our fuzzy babies showed up with a cut leg, and everything came to a standstill. He’s fine, already healing nicely, but it definitely got my attention and sort of wiped my calendar clean for most of the day.

   What follows is a Five Senses Inventory of the hours I spent with the Bachelors yesterday, keeping our tenderhearted patient company. I sat on the ground near the front field and ate a bizarre lunch of saltine crackers and Coke. Real Coke, not Diet. I know, I was shocked too.

Side note: 
From now on, when I refer to the Bachelors, 
I mean Dusty the gray and white pony, Chunk-Hi the buffalo, and Romulus, the llama.
See: Our unblinking Romulus seven feet to my left, staring at me with incredible focus. Dusty and Chunk-Hi three feet to my right but behind the fence. Dozens of yard birds in a happy struggle against the wind. Summer’s last zinnias, just now starting to fade, waving in the wind. Sky-scraping pine trees waving in the wind too.

In case you missed it on Facebook, our great llama name debate has been settled. 
He has officially been dubbed Romulus.
But he still answers to “LLAMA!!!”
Except, so do I. Because it’s really close to “MAMA!!!”
Hear: Gusty, thrilling Oklahoma wind.Crows. A rooster echoing from inside the metal barn. More wind, like the ocean.
Touch: Cold breeze slicing through my Grandpa’s hand-me-down canvas jacket, its furry collar soft against my face and neck. Goosebumps where my jacket is unfastened. Rubber boots encasing my bare feet. Sun hot on my french braided hair.
Smell: That wonderfully sweet, organic bovine odor, the one that only Chunk-Hi’s velvety body can put off. Also, hay (I adore the smell of hay) and a sort of clove-like smell from my Coke.
Taste: The salty-sweet residue of my terribly unhealthy but satisfying lunch.

Think: I am constantly, constantly thinking of my beautiful daughters. I think of them as babies, as toddlers, as children, and as young women. I think of what they might be doing elsewhere as I sit here. I think of their futures and the untold possibilities there.

Feel: Romantic, hopeful, grateful for our families, confident in the potential for all kinds of healing, fascinated by the political climate right now, and overall inspired. I feel inspired to pick up broken pieces of things and make new, even more beautiful things. I feel inspired to control my body in new ways because now I know I can. Now I know that very few physical things are left to chance. I feel close to my animals but not in an owner-owned kind of way. Today they look at me deeply.

********************

   I hope you take a few minutes to inventory your world. Notice what’s going on around you and inside you. Imagine amazing things for yourself and your loved ones, dwell on the best things, count your blessings. I’ll be checking in again soon for some excellent family stories and more of Proverbs 31.

Happy Weekend Friends!
xoxoxoxo