Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Archives for June 30, 2020

and so we welcome July

June 30, 2020

Hello, and happy fresh new month! According to my journal, today is our 109th day of quarantine. It has become a flexible lifestyle, one that is evolving through the changing seasons. I feel the need to document more if it all.

Handsome and I have fallen comfortably into a work-from-the-farm summertime routine. Monday through Friday, we wake up and drink coffee together just before daybreak. The animals can be very demanding, even as early as 6 a.m. So if they catch us walking around taking in the technicolor skies, odds are good that chores start early. He eventually tackles his Commish projects and teleconferences from the relative comfort of either of his two car shops. I divide my morning hours between housework and laundry, the animals and gardens, and some form of exercise. Klaus rotates between us, preferring us all three to hang out together, of course, but he does seem finally resigned to this confusing new division of labor. Having a new sheep to gently terrorize has been a nice outlet for his restless energy, ha.

Speaking of routines, starting today I am attempting a blogging streak. My plan is to post daily updates for the entire month of July then reevaluate. My long stretches of not writing have never been for a lack of happenings; it’s really that I can barely keep up! Maybe if I write a little more as we go that will help. Better than nothing, at least. Will you read along? Will you share your thoughts and life events, too? I hope so.

Yesterday we wore our masks to vote in the Oklahoma primaries. Our polling place is a local church, and their spacious auditorium was arranged nicely for good social distancing. How many more voting cycles do you think will happen under these circumstances? Some rumors suggest two more years like this, living cautiously while covid-19 rages. It’s a moment in history for sure.

Our tomatoes, blackberries, herbs, peppers, and various squashes are growing and ripening like crazy. I am seeing tiny watermelons popping up on the green vines, too. Our hens are laying between 7 and 12 eggs per day, despite the heat. We have killed two large snakes in the east coop though, so perhaps they are laying far more than I am collecting, and the snakes are just well fed.

The day lilies, hydrangeas, and hollyhocks are so thrilling this summer. I have in the past been pretty content with just massive sprays of zinnias here and there. But since those are moving slowly this year, I am more than comforted by these lush perennial displays. I am also loving the wildflowers growing with abandon out front, along The Enchanted Path. My friend Lynn suggested this photo below looks like a wildflower bridal bouquet, and I agree.

How are you faring? How is whatever stage of quarantine you are at, affecting you? Are you able to sink into summertime pleasures, or are you feeling the squeeze of confinement too much?

Thank you for all of the loving messages after yesterday’s blog post, about our difficult family news. As it feels right, I will share them with my girls. Many of you already understand what a complicated and difficult situation this already was. Prayers and Love and grace will soothe everything in time.

Please take care of yourself! Be well, physically and emotionally. Know that you are loved and needed in this world. And thank you for checking in here. See you tomorrow!!

XOXOXOXO

1 Comment
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: blogging streak, covid19, daily life, farmlife, gratitude, quarantine, summertime

it’s not okay yet

June 30, 2020

My girls have lost their Dad. This is a delicate family event to share, and I do so cautiously and with deep love.

It’s not always easy, or rather, it does not always feel genuine and honest, to tell my children that everything’s going to be ok. Because life is as filled with awful shock and devastation as it is with unbridled joy, relief, and peace. The world will abuse them and injure them as much as it will love and nourish them, body and soul. Life will take from them some precious gifts, and it will give others. That’s just how it is.

I personally believe that Light does overcome the darkness, that Love does have the final word, but sometimes it’s quite a battle. Sometimes it requires a lot of mindful choosing to see the best, a lot of trusting the Universe, and a lot of just plain waiting. Enduring. Allowing.

I am 46 years old and have only recently learned that the darkest valleys tend to be signals that something of unprecedented brilliance and beauty is coming; but I realize that this is a lesson best learned through experience, not one that can be taught with words and platitudes, exactly.

Almost three weeks ago, my girls lost their Dad. On a Thursday, after saying his goodbyes to each of them, he took his own life. This is a choice I cannot comprehend. It is a loss they will bear forever, which they do not deserve and to which I cannot relate.

More than ever, these stories are theirs to tell, not mine. He and I only shared a few years together, and it was a very long time ago. My heart goes out to his parents and brothers, and everyone he left behind, night and day. I cannot fathom this kind of pain.

Our singular hope and intention is to remain steadfast, open, warm and safe for whatever my children need going forward. Their health, healing, and forward movement into fully realized lives is all we want. If our family crosses your mind, I hope you will say prayers for the girls and for their stepbrother. I trust you will send your most loving thoughts.

My heart remains convinced, persuaded, that even the worst and most complex grief can be transformed. I know that saying everything is going to be alright is a bit empty right now, hollow sounding; because it’s definitely not ok yet. I also know that the most painful moments are exactly when we must choose to believe in miracles and fuel hope. Not just for ourselves, but for each other.

XOXOXO

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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"Edit your life freely and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all." ~Nathan W. Morris

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