Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Archives for October 2019

Dunbar Thoughts

Just a few chapters deep into Abundance and I am smitten. This is exactly the gritty yet conversational sort of education I have craved, specifically on the topic of outlook and positivism. This book, so far, is framing global well being and how we as individuals could approach big topics humanity faces, by breaking down not just socio-political and economic issues but also biological design. The how are we wired to operate kinds of questions that always grip me.

Ok. A full review and hopefully some deep discussion after I actually read the entire book, haha. Tonight I want to touch on one skinny little mention of a really interesting detail, from page 36 if you happen to have a copy. It’s the Dunbar Number, and it’s all about relationships.

After years of work and study, a researcher from Oxford University named Robin Dunbar landed on the anthropological fact that humans have evolved to nurture and maintain about 150 interpersonal relationships. One hundred and fifty. How does this number strike you? Because it has been swimming in my head all day (I really this around 5:00 this morning) and the number has felt both enormous and minuscule depending on what context I choose.

Relationships, though, not just contacts or followers or demographic-sharers. It’s also about more than just neighbors and classmates, though of course all of these people could provide life connection. But true, one-on-one, genuine relationships are, apparently, meant to be limited.

Can I effectively maintain that many though? Can you? Jessica and I explored this topic all afternoon, and Handsome and I did early this morning before he left for he Commish. (Two solid relationships, by the way, which I appreciate deeply and which will forever be worth cultivating.) They each had insight that I hadn’t even considered.

I find it fascinating to reflect on the variety of depth and quality that so many human relationships could display. Each one offers and demands such different gifts and efforts. And in those moments when 150 sounds high, I wonder if it’s because I am allowing my energy to leak out to lesser priorities in less meaningful ways.

Ok. I have dinner to cook and a few more chapters to read. Our windows are open, Klaus is snoring contentedly, and I am buzzing with gratitude for so many bouquets of late season flowers scattered around the house. Thanks for checking in!! Please share your thoughts below and I will respond. I hope to hear lots of perspectives on the Dunbar Number.

“The future is better than you think.”

-Peter Diamandis & Steven Kotler

XOXOXOXO

Dunbar Thoughts

Just a few chapters deep into Abundance and I am smitten. This is exactly the gritty yet conversational sort of education I have craved, specifically on the topic of outlook and positivism. This book, so far, is framing global well being and how we as individuals could approach big topics humanity faces, by breaking down not just sociopath-political and economic issues but also biological design. The how are we wired to operate kinds of questions that always grip me.

Ok. A full review and hopefully some deep discussion after I actually read the entire book, haha. Tonight I want to touch on one skinny little mention of a really interesting detail, from page 36 if you happen to have a copy. It’s the Dunbar Number, and it’s all about relationships.

After years of work and study, a researcher from Oxford University named Robin Dunbar landed on the anthropological fact that humans have evolved to nurture and maintain about 150 interpersonal relationships. One hundred and fifty. How does this number strike you? Because it has been swimming in my head all day (I really this around 5:00 this morning) and the number has felt both enormous and minuscule depending on what context I choose.

Relationships, though, not just contacts or followers or demographic-sharers. It’s also about more than just neighbors and classmates, though of course all of these people could provide life connection. But true, one-on-one, genuine relationships are, apparently, meant to be limited.

Can I effectively maintain that many though? Can you? Jessica and I explored this topic all afternoon, and Handsome and I did early this morning before he left for he Commish. (Two solid relationships, by the way, which I appreciate deeply and which will forever be worth cultivating.) They each had insight that I hadn’t even considered.

I find it fascinating to reflect on the variety of depth and quality that so many human relationships could display. Each one offers and demands such different gifts and efforts. And in those moments when 150 sounds high, I wonder if it’s because I am allowing my energy to leak out to lesser priorities in less meaningful ways.

Ok. I have dinner to cook and a few more chapters to read. Our windows are open, Klaus is snoring contentedly, and I am buzzing with gratitude for so many bouquets of late season flowers scattered around the house. Thanks for checking in!! Please share your thoughts below and I will respond. I hope to hear lots of perspectives on the Dunbar Number.

“The future is better than you think.”

-Peter Diamandis & Steven Kotler

XOXOXOXO

threshold magic

Seasonal thresholds always excite me. The shift in energy and the changing scenery, both in nature and in life, are powerful stimulants.  This recent slice of days, this threshold between summer and fall, has been brackish and wonderful. A stained glass window of work and gardens, of romance and books and socializing. I am smitten all over again, and autumn hasn’t taken hold yet.

On the very last day of meteorological summer we woke up early and decided with measured reluctance to close the pool. The chlorinated water had finally turned cold and cloudy. We gave thanks for a truly gorgeous, extra long summer then stretched the giant, crunching plastic blanket across and around the metal pool frame. We threaded the steel cord through the grommets, tightened it, and sighed audibly. The task itself was pretty easy, but saying goodbye to swimming season was less so.

Later that day we joined friends and strangers at Savory Spice Shop in OKC for their annual pie baking contest, definitely a seasonal treat and tradition worth keeping. The wonderful assault of fragrances aimed my heart straight at the best of autumn. Cinnamon! Nutmeg! Apples! Perfect, flaky crusts of every variety! Pecans!  My amazing friend Kellie won with her perfect entry of Bonaffee Pie, banana and caramel confection. Heaven in a pie plate.

 This past weekend, Handsome and I attended a storytelling event called “Ricochet,” in Oklahoma City. It was hosted by our friends Shanna and Ryan McKinley. I shared with a room full of strangers a pretty ridiculous true story of my own and thoroughly enjoyed hearing all the other stories. So fun! The recording will be on Ryan’s podcast and I’ll share it when it’s live!

We also hosted another community painting event in the midst of some intermittent sun showers. The afternoon was pastel and mild and had a suspenseful, magical quality. We enjoyed a more intimate group than last time and a smaller meal, too. The sun sank just as we were cleaning up, casting golden light on the easels as if that night was the first time a true Golden Hour had ever happened. Things felt weirdly perfect for those transitional days.

Things here are neither crisp nor cool, not yet, but at least we are no longer battling heat advisories. This kind of humidity is manageable when not in triple digits, ha. And around midnight tonight a much anticipated cool front just might blow across our beautiful state. Already the normally deafening frog song has quieted. Where did they go?

Fresh mums and pansies are sneaking into my flower beds, making friends with summertime’s zinnias, basil, and cannas. Tomatoes are still producing, and newly planted seeds have sprouted into tiny kales and rainbow chard plants. I haven’t bought any decorative pumpkins yet, but I have scooped up a few small green watermelons from the garden, just to display, knowing they don’t have enough time to ripen before our first frost. They kind of look like little gourds. Threshold gardening, friends.  It’s a thing.

Change is happening. Slowly and more slowly still, then all at once. We just have to breathe deeply and notice it all. Every day.

“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”
– Isaiah 43:19

Thanks to my local running friend Joe for sharing the above scripture at a most perfect moment for me. Autumn is its own elegant, wondrous time of renewal. Different than springtime. Mysterious and powerful. It’s good to be excited about it.