It’s Monday again and I have not blogged since last Monday. Honestly I am not sure I can continue this miscellaneous writing project. It feels so much more like an obligation than an outlet these days, and I have lost sight of the benefits. Week after week I have more to do in my real life than ever before, and increasingly less time to do it all. Ironically this means there are more life and farm stories to tell than ever, but when? When do I sit down to type, and with what surplus energy and focus? A voice in my head (this voice always comes from behind my left ear, not far from that soft spot above my jawbone) keeps whispering that if I can afford time to blog I can afford time to actually write. You know, like a book or something.
Anyway, no matter how tightly I plan my hours week to week and day to day, they seem to get slashed by one unexpected demand after another. (haha, I guess that is a fairly universal problem.) Lately I barely even have time to run the minimum amount of “sanity” miles without consciously saying no to either my husband or some housework, etc.
On the bright side, the Apartment has been humming along with a steady stream of sewing projects, most of which will gradually bring in Christmas money and more. And important prayers are still being answered. We are still being kept afloat in big and small ways. The trick is to pay close enough attention to appreciate it all. It’s just that sometimes I grow weary of pointing out the bright side, because there is always someone there to deflate my spirit or draw me back into their version of “reality.” And I have to tell myself that surely these people do not realize how hurtful this behavior can be.
I know, I know, womp-womp, poor me. It’s just where I am right now. I believe fiercely in miracles, in the power of prayer and imagination, in the necessity of faith. Faith can move mountains, after all. I also believe this may be a season of protecting my own faith and sheltering myself a little more. And sheltering my time? I have some reevaluating to do. Some personal decisions to make.
On top of all that, Handsome and I have some big decisions to make for our little Eden, the dirt and hooves Lazy W, so we would appreciate your best thoughts and prayers for guidance. Wisdom. 2016 may be a year of radical change.
Ok, my actual to-do list is waiting and surely yours is too, so off we go. Have a lovely Monday!
“If you don’t have time to do it right,
when will you have time to do it over?”
~John Wooden
XOXO