Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Proverbs 31: Guest Post by Amber, Happiest Color of Crazy

   This morning I would like to introduce you to another lovely and generous guest poster, Amber. She is a stay-at-home Mommy to three beautiful and precocious little girls,and in a thousand ways she radiates the spirit of a young, traditional Proverbs 31 woman.

   I asked her to contribute because while so many women spend precious energy complaining about the drudgery of  domestic life, she celebrates every detail and magnifies God in fun, believable ways. I can feel her joy through her Facebook posts and original poetry, which is what she chose to share with us today…

   Enjoy…

The Happiest Color of Crazy
When I was young I had big dreams
romantic visions of all life could be.
I wanted to fall in love, be swept off my feet
have a beautiful home and a loving family.
God sees the desires of my heart
hearing the prayers my fears won’t let me speak.
He knows just how to fill my lack
becoming my strong knowing my weak.
My picture of happy has changed over time.
Things aren’t always what they might seem.
I do have love, a home and three kids
but life is all but serene….
We find ourselves always behind
trying to do all that’s needing done.
The kids are loud making a mess
keeping us on the run…
The bills keep coming but sleep rarely does
Life’s demands pile up like the dishes.
No time for dates, or leisurely mornings.
An endless list of empty wishes…
That’s when I can tell my heart has turned
and I must humbly repent.
Losing my joy by forgetting my thanks
is the surest road to discontent.
I must forget about what I want
and seek Him first in ALL things.
Looking around for His gifts of grace
in the simplest moments that each day brings.
My days are painted the happiest color of crazy.
My God supplies my every need.
I have everything I never knew I wanted
and my heart is full indeed!
    I especially love this line toward the end, “Losing my joy by forgetting my thanks is the surest road to discontent.“

   Thank you, Amber! Thanks for this poetry, and thanks for sharing on Facebook the delicious minutiae of daily life with your young family. You make me homesick for those days and grateful for my memories more than you can imagine. When people tell you it goes by quickly, they are speaking the truth. Soak up this happy color of crazy. May all of your dreams come true, if even in wildly unexpected ways!

“My heart is full indeed.”
xoxoxoxo

Dad’s Double Nickel

   Last week my dear ol’ Dad passed a milestone. Not a kidney stone, thankfully. A milestone. He had a birthday. So my parents, my youngest brother Philip, our nephew (who is recently driving, FAINT!) and his best friend Matthew came to the farm to celebrate Dad’s double nickel birthday! Our other nephew Koston, from my husband’s side of the family, had been spending a few days at the farm (I need to tell you all about that soon) and he actually helped me prepare the family meal!

   We sat down to the table and shared a giant lasagna with all the trimmings and laughed and laughed and laughed! Then almost immediately after dinner Dad sliced his birthday cake, a butter pecan layer cake with browned-butter cream cheese frosting.


Please note Dad’s strategically placed napkin-bib. 
He thought perhaps the cake was all for him?

   We sang to him and asked if he feels any older. He answered in the affirmative. We spent what little weeknight time we had left watching hilarious videos and laughing some more. Being with my family and laughing is on my sparkly list of favorite things to do. Seriously, it feels so good. And I love to see my parents happy and worry-free for a few minutes. They deserve so much more of that.

My sweet Momma and my Baby Brutha from exactly the same Mutha, Phil.

   The older I get the more I am keenly aware of what a gift it is to have both of my parents alive and in my life, loving me and spending time with me. Handsome’s parents are very much a part of our life, too, and we are so grateful for this. Looking around at our friends, I see more and more people who have lost one or both of their parents by now, so these family events are golden to me. Big holiday occasions are also fabulous, but my soul is nourished by regular doses of easy get-togethers and homemade food.

Koston, 10, eternally dorky me, and Dante, 15. 
I cannot even tell you how much I love these guys.

   To finish his birthday celebration, I would like to tell you a little bit about my Dad, about why I wish you could have a Dad like mine…

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   He played with us all the time growing up, and he helped entertain my friends when I had birthday parties. In fact, as my friends got to be of the “crush having” age, lots of them had crushes on my Dad. This is actually rude, ladies, and weird, but it is nice to have a Dad everyone likes.

   Along this vein, Dad was my first teacher of practical jokes. Pranks. Pretty big ones. I’ll just leave that at that.
   He has taught me a thousand or maybe a million things just by example. His style has always been showing, not telling, and I bet he has no idea how impactful that has been over the years.
   Dad’s work ethic is incredible. He doesn’t stop when he reaches an obstacle; nor does he lose his patience when frustrated; he just works and adapts and continues working until something is done.
   Also? He literally* whistles while he works. No lie. But he’s not a very good whistler, but still.
   Dad has always made me feel like he had a special love for me, and he always seemed to go above and beyond to take care of me, personally. I grew up thinking it was because I am the oldest, maybe because he was so young when I was born, or perhaps simply because of my daughterly awesomeness (not). But in comparing notes with my adult siblings I realize we all have felt loved like this. Without ever once saying the word favorite, Dad and Mom made us all feel that way. And you know what? I am not disappointed in the truth. Not one bit. Watching both of our parents love my siblings through thick and thin, whatever the circumstances or special events, has been one of the most eye opening learning experiences of my life. Way better than continuing to believe I’m their fave. 
   Anyway, it is likely that his heart belongs more to the grand kids now…
My Dad in his first months as a Grandpa, 
pictured here with my first baby.
   To my knowledge, Dad has never missed a grandchild’s birthday party (locally, and I am sure missing his California grandson’s candles has hurt). Here he is at my youngest’s 13th birthday party a few years ago. Dad had just shattered his leg terribly and was probably in a lot of pain, but he came to the farm anyway. We delighted in teasing him about his walker, and against his wishes we decorated it. Well, I mean, the kids did. I had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

   My Dad has always fostered creativity, just by being creative himself  You should see him light up over an invention idea, or a new lamp or furniture design! And to help with his creative streak, Dad can operate any machine you give him. A few Christmases ago he and Mom gave me the serger machine from Village Art, our family’s now retired lamp company. Dad vainly tried teaching me how to thread it and operate it, but the truth is I would much rather him just come out and do it for me so we can talk. Not that we would talk. Because of the whistling.

   One lesson I wish I had learned from Dad a lot earlier in life is humility. He exemplifies it and proves it in his life year after year, and it breaks my heart for him.
   Dad is an excellent cook, and I wish I could find a photo of him wearing his chef’s apron and hat.
   Do you know what the invisible ball/ paper bag trick is? Pretty sure my Dad invented it, and if you visit the farm I’ll teach it to you. It’s amazing. Maybe I can get him to do it on video and upload it some day.
   But I do not wish upon you the horror of a knee-grabber. This is serious business, folks. 
   My Dad is a Power Napper, and he has been known to watch entire television shows through his eyelids. Then he looks at you like you’re crazy if you call attention to his sleepiness.
   Also, he is the fastest walking person on the face of this earth. It is because of growing up around him that I am physically unable to take a leisurely stroll anywhere. 
   I don’t know whether Dad is more talented at tile work or carpentry, because he does beautiful work in both areas. But I can say that the fragrance of fresh sawdust makes me very, very happy. It brings me back to childhood in a split second, and I love that.
   I have reached the age where I am thrilled by my parents’ love and romance, instead of being weirded out by it. Seeing them live their marriage in front of us kids, prop each other up, whisper compliments behind each other’s back… I love every bit of it. Can’t get enough of it now. Seeing how much my Dad loves my Mom, and vice-versa, is such a wonderful gift, and I am deeply thankful for it.
   Among the many things Dad has taught me by example is a love of reading. We only have a slice of overlap in genre appreciation, as far as I know, but I grew up watching him recline in a bustling living room with either a newspaper or a paperback perched studiously in front of him. To me this is relaxation. And I love Dad for teaching it to me.
   No matter what the need, no matter how last minute or inconvenient the request, my Dad will help any of kids in any way that is humanly possible. Same goes for his friends  too, I am sure. We probably never know when we put him in a bind, because he is always the same. He always acts with a steadiness that offers us calm. We know he is always there, no matter what.
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   I could write and write my love for my Dad, and he deserves it, but by now he is probably rolling his eyes at me a little and feeling itchy to get back to work. So go ahead and go walk fast and get something accomplished, Dad!!! I love you and I appreciate you more than you know. Happy 55th Birthday!!!!!
From Your Favorite Offspring**
xoxoxoxo
* Let’s all pronounce this “lit-chrul-lee”
** JUST KIDDING you titty babies!!! I’m probably not is favorite. Probably.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

 

Five Senses Inventory, Keeping Happy Vigil

   What a week! Whew. From a family funeral last weekend to celebrating both of our dads’ birthdays, some work travel for Handsome, and a few days of fun with our nephew for me, we have stayed busy and wrung out emotionally. I have lots of photos and stories to share, and happily Proverbs 31 themes are warming up my heart at a nice, healthy boil. But yesterday one of our fuzzy babies showed up with a cut leg, and everything came to a standstill. He’s fine, already healing nicely, but it definitely got my attention and sort of wiped my calendar clean for most of the day.

   What follows is a Five Senses Inventory of the hours I spent with the Bachelors yesterday, keeping our tenderhearted patient company. I sat on the ground near the front field and ate a bizarre lunch of saltine crackers and Coke. Real Coke, not Diet. I know, I was shocked too.

Side note: 
From now on, when I refer to the Bachelors, 
I mean Dusty the gray and white pony, Chunk-Hi the buffalo, and Romulus, the llama.
See: Our unblinking Romulus seven feet to my left, staring at me with incredible focus. Dusty and Chunk-Hi three feet to my right but behind the fence. Dozens of yard birds in a happy struggle against the wind. Summer’s last zinnias, just now starting to fade, waving in the wind. Sky-scraping pine trees waving in the wind too.

In case you missed it on Facebook, our great llama name debate has been settled. 
He has officially been dubbed Romulus.
But he still answers to “LLAMA!!!”
Except, so do I. Because it’s really close to “MAMA!!!”
Hear: Gusty, thrilling Oklahoma wind.Crows. A rooster echoing from inside the metal barn. More wind, like the ocean.
Touch: Cold breeze slicing through my Grandpa’s hand-me-down canvas jacket, its furry collar soft against my face and neck. Goosebumps where my jacket is unfastened. Rubber boots encasing my bare feet. Sun hot on my french braided hair.
Smell: That wonderfully sweet, organic bovine odor, the one that only Chunk-Hi’s velvety body can put off. Also, hay (I adore the smell of hay) and a sort of clove-like smell from my Coke.
Taste: The salty-sweet residue of my terribly unhealthy but satisfying lunch.

Think: I am constantly, constantly thinking of my beautiful daughters. I think of them as babies, as toddlers, as children, and as young women. I think of what they might be doing elsewhere as I sit here. I think of their futures and the untold possibilities there.

Feel: Romantic, hopeful, grateful for our families, confident in the potential for all kinds of healing, fascinated by the political climate right now, and overall inspired. I feel inspired to pick up broken pieces of things and make new, even more beautiful things. I feel inspired to control my body in new ways because now I know I can. Now I know that very few physical things are left to chance. I feel close to my animals but not in an owner-owned kind of way. Today they look at me deeply.

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   I hope you take a few minutes to inventory your world. Notice what’s going on around you and inside you. Imagine amazing things for yourself and your loved ones, dwell on the best things, count your blessings. I’ll be checking in again soon for some excellent family stories and more of Proverbs 31.

Happy Weekend Friends!
xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31:10-12 Stand By Your Man

   Thanks again for joining me on this slow exploration of Proverbs 31. The rest of this month should feel a lot more relevant to us ladies, to those of us craving to be intentional, spiritually meaningful wives and homemakers. It’s kind of like the long awaited cheese and dessert buffet when all you’ve eaten for hours is a rice cake and some limp celery.

   No offense to the first nine verses; they are important in their own way. But now that we have context and voice nailed down we can really start having some fun.

   Real quick, do you ever do this: Do you ever feel super guilty for referring to a Bible passage like this, “Oh now that’s a good one!” As if to imply the rest are not so hot? I digress, but it’s a thinker.

   Okay.

   Proverbs 31: 10-12

“Who can find a virtuous woman?
for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,
so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

   Beautiful and complex.

   Even without all of the supporting instruction that follows, these three verses pretty much summarize the importance and purpose of a good wife. She is priceless. Her husband’s heart trusts safely in her. I love that, the notion that his heart trusts in her, his innermost self, his unspoken core. That’s powerful. For her entire life, she only helps him; she never brings him harm. Everybody needs someone that devoted, right? Apparently, men especially need this. And women are well suited for the job.

   These qualities probably seem easy enough to possess as a newlywed bride, or at any time in life that the swells of romance are cresting high and frothy. It’s easy and fun to strive for excellence at those times. Because it just feels so darn good.

Our first kiss as a married couple, 2001.

   I love taking excellent care of my husband when we have been trading lots of love notes and such. I am long on inspiration of how to spoil him when we are clicking along in sync with each other, feeding greedily off of the sugary, if shallow, nourishment of romance.

   But since all relationships have fluctuating glamour, since every marriage has its challenges, we will eventually reach a point where it is not so easy to lavish each other with goodness. That doesn’t mean we’re off the hook!

   Personally, I must learn to be just as devoted and trustworthy to Handsome when I am feeling insecure and afraid as when that lovely swell of romance is carrying me easily above our problems. He doesn’t need my devotion any less just because I am feeling un-spectacular.

   Virtuous. This could encompass so much about the woman’s character, and perhaps it varies from person to person. But I think it’s worth noticing that virtue is mentioned ahead of beauty.

   No need of spoil. What does this mean to you? To me it conjures up ideas of living within our means, financially. A husband whose wife overspends their resources will eventually find himself in need of spoil, in need of finding money somewhere to cover the gap. But a man who trusts safely in his wife knows that she will not abuse their cash or credit cards, for example.

   Or perhaps it has to do with fidelity and loyalty. What do you think?

   She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. I mean, that sounds simple and obvious. It should be. But back to the less enchanted times… How much effort does it take for a wife to do her husband good when she disagrees with his decisions? Or when he makes a mistake or outright hurts her? This verse doesn’t offer the comfy caveat that a desirable, priceless wife is only meant to do good to her husband when it is easy to do so; rather, it says that she is always good to him. She is always his supporter and his ally.

   Moreover, she does good to him. That to me is an active suggestion. She isn’t just waiting around being reactive, as is so natural for women to do. She is actively helping him, finding on her own ways to bless him and support him, all the days of her life. It doesn’t end when the honeymoon is over. And it doesn’t end when the children leave the nest. And it doesn’t end when you both retire or have mid life crises or whatever, or when one of you is sick. The direction to love and help and do good only evolves with time, with our changing needs.

   Is anybody else resisting the urge to sing Stand By Your Man?

   Twang away, ladies. Just twang away.

   I definitely realize some of you are rolling your eyes and maybe even flipping me off right now. Relax. It’s just a song.

   The thing is, wherever you fall in the broad spectrum of modern feminism, these Bible verses clearly state that a husband thrives with the support and love of his wife. How could he not? This is not useless, meaningless stuff. This is how we were created. This is how we are designed to complement each other in marriage.

   At least that’s how I see it.

   Give him two arms to cling to.

   Be proud of him.

   Stand by him, and not just when it’s easy.

   Be priceless.

xoxoxoxo