Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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extra curricular activities, lately

November 10, 2015

My life and schedule seem to be undergoing as much change lately as the leaves and temperatures outside. The changes are gradual, for the most part, but certainly noticeable. I thought I’d fill you guys in a tiny bit and see what feels like a story worth telling.

The Oklahoma Master Gardeners, which you heard so much about last year as I attended classes, is now a more permanent part of my life. If you follow along on Instagram then you might have noticed that a few weeks ago we graduated from student-interns to certified. I think. I mean, are we yet? Who knows? haha We might be at least certifiable. But the ceremony was fun and satisfying after so much reading and so many hours of phone duty. Now my ongoing responsibilities are mostly with the group’s Social Media Committee. This is great for me, because I like to stay home as much as possible but still contribute and keep in touch with folks. As the momentum with this fledgling project builds, I will have the opportunity to share really good, useful gardening information with anyone who feels like listening. A week or so ago was our monthly meeting, and afterwards I went to a brainstorming lunch with Elizabeth, one of the other two ladies on our committee, in fact the chair. She is one of the friendliest people you will ever meet. Do you remember our garden tour stop at her Mesta Park home? Same sweet lady. She is very encouraging and direct when it comes to brainstorming sessions, and she has excellent taste in lunch fare. We tried a place in midtown OKC that was completely new to me. She also took me to a nearby community garden filled with foods and herbs, but I will show you more of that another day.

me w elizabeth nov 2015

This was a "haus salad" topped with feta and fresh falafel. Delicious to the max.
This was a “haus salad” topped with feta and fresh falafel. Delicious to the max.

EC mg decor

 

Another big slice of my time is being devoted to the Oklahoma Beekeepers’ Association. Perhaps you already knew that our Lazy W Honeymakers went the way of the dinosaurs, so I have been lax in giving pollinator updates around here. But I never gave up hope. My great-grandfather was so accomplished, and I am so surrounded by knowledgeable, generous people, how could I  ever give up? So anyway, at the recent statewide conference for the Oklahoma Beekeepers’ Association, I was elected Secretary. I had already agreed to write the state newsletter whenever needed (I am a dork and love pretending to be a reporter), so this is a great fit. The fact that my new role will give me even more exposure to successful beekeepers is just icing on the honey cake. haha Below I am posing happily with Maribeth, my mentor and friend who you have met several times here on my blog. She is serving as President for the organization in the coming year, probably the coming decade. I am super exited about this new undertaking. (If you got the bee joke there in that last sentence, bonus points to you.)

 

EC me maribeth

When I make time for it, I am running again. I’ll post more about that probably next Monday, but the short version is that I have set a goal for November of 100 miles, just to get back in the groove of things. When I don’t have a race or a “little back dress” event coming up, it is scary easy to make excuses about my nutrition and put running at the bottom of my priorities list. I always pay for that mistake with a bad attitude, low energy, and more, so this month I am happy to be back in some healthy habits. I am already seeing improvements.

The west field loop is just perfection right now. Wedding Meadow is crunchy but colorful.
The west field loop is just perfection right now. Wedding Meadow is crunchy but colorful.

Something else old that is new again? Sewing! My embroidery machine is finally home from the repair shop, long story, and then Handsome surprised me with a second brand new sewing machine. So on the days that I seclude myself in the Apartment to drum up a cottony, scrappy storm, both machines plus the iron are going pretty non stop. It’s a very soothing sound, often shadowed by some Sting or Carla Bruni music. I am having lots of fun filling orders for friends and hope this trend continues.

EC sew

The farm is doing pretty great, all distractions considered. Yes, I could spend a little more time scooping manure or raking leaves or maybe learning to ride our lazy horses, who have no real duties besides snuffling me. I could also spend more time in the gardens before winter hits, because I know in a matter of weeks I will be sad for sunshine. But the days and weeks are in balance with my priorities right now. I truly feel settled. The season for other things will roll around eventually.

Can you tell from this distance how much Klaus has grown? When he runs between my legs I can just about sit on him.

Can you tell from this distance how much Klaus has grown? When he runs between my legs I can just about sit on him.

So all this is what has been keeping me too busy to blog much, all the stuff I’ve been doing between feeding and cooking and cleaning up after said feeding and cooking. And laundry-ing and ironing. And driving my cute car.

EC car

Taking stock of my gratitude is pretty easy these days. I am more protective over our domestic bliss and private joys than I have been in a long time, for reasons that are so lame I will not even give them air time here. Suffice it to say that no attack from the outside, whether professional or personal, social or downright spiritual, really matters so long as the home is healthy and strong. Kind of like the beehive, you know? So let’s tend our lives and our homes well. Stay healthy and strong, friends, and be happy.

EC women

Until we meet again, will you please give this idea some thought? Who are the women who have changed your life, really? I feel a big, juicy post coming on exactly this.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
~Annie Dillard
XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: animals, beekeeping, daily life, gardening, master gardener class, running

we are too old for this

November 8, 2015

Age may be just a number, but hopefully life and time do bring us some evolution, right? It may come either in spurts or so very slowly, but change can be a welcome gift. Life is always better after a little growth. Agreed? With some recent changes in my life I am realizing there are some things that need to be left behind. I’m just too old for some stuff. And whatever your age, I suspect you are too.

  • Gossip: Oh man, friends. Is it just me? Am I being too picky? Because, when did gossip get to be so commonplace again? We learned in middle school how destructive it is. I feel like as a general population of people my age, both male and female, gossip was for the longest time not tolerated. The Golden Rule reigned. But somehow gossip is making a comeback and sarcasm has become the humor of choice for so many folks. Criticizing each other behind our backs, making snide and deeply hurtful remarks, forming secret allegiances, it is all so normal that I can no longer keep track of who feels how about what common friend. Not a good feeling. And who knows how those same people truly feel about me? Even a worse feeling. I’m too old to share in or tolerate gossip.
  • Feelings of Inferiority:  My natural tendency is to be extremely self punishing while seeing only the impressive, amazing qualities of others, especially women. While this could serve anyone well in a healthy context, I’m really too old to dwell in a state of self hatred. It poisons the atmosphere, you know? This weird combination of tendencies magnifies both assets and deficiencies into a distorted, fun house reality that only breeds low self esteem, jealousy, insecurity, then a twisted kind of inter-personal battery. Inflated self worth, which is bizarre. And to me this includes allowing myself to be bossed around or mothered by people who are not my mentors or authority figures.  It can invite people to be be awfully condescending, you know? I generally try to make room if someone close to me has a need to give advice or lecture, and often I even ask advice when I don’t particularly need it, because of either self doubt or politeness, but all of these habits can be extremely destructive to both parties. If I put up with it for too long, I will eventually snap and catch the advice-giver quite by surprise. That’s not very loving of me. And posturing myself to receive lots to unsolicited advice from others who probably don’t know my heart and also don’t now any better than me, well, it’s a recipe for bitterness. Harboring feelings of inferiority is not the same as seeing room to grow. I’m too old to waste time and energy on this any longer.
  • Active Negativity: Everyone has bad days, difficult seasons of life, and straight up bizarre, confusing situations that have us occasionally kind of howling at the moon in frustration. Sometimes there is a legitimate need to vent or acknowledge problems so they can be dealt with. But then there is the bad habit of being determined to feel defeated or attacked. Short changed, victimized. The tendency, no matter how much good is flourishing, to focus on the blemishes and failures. The funny thing about focus is that it works as a magnifier. It’s fertilizer for reality, and I’m too old to keep focusing on the negative stuff. I’m also too old to surrender my time to chronically negative people.
  • Aimlessness & Losing Control Over My Time: This hearkens straight back to posturing myself for others to take control. And it has been resulting in lots of time wasted and resentful feelings of obligation then bitterness. I am just too old to allow it to continue.

And with none of this do I mean to sound superior or overly maternal; although this is all advice I’d be thrilled to offer both of my daughters at a receptive moment. They are both at the perfect age to launch their womanhood and adult relationships in healthy ways. Besides them, this writing today is just an expression of what I have learned about myself, of what thresholds I have for my own little corner of this big, beautiful world. To the people in my personal life, it might help explain why I have less tolerance for some difficult relationships than I used to have. Again, this is not about judgement of other people; it’s about deciding what I can handle for my own life. Judging what is good for my own environment and for those close to me.
So, hey… Let’s not magnify this darkness too much. Let’s instead cast some light into it, replacing those bad habits with good ones. This is a healthier mechanism, right? What can we do more of that will eventually get us to do less of the gossiping, feeling inferior, remaining in negativity, and living aimlessly? Here are my thoughts:

  • More Constructive, Loving Words: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything,” may be a good start. But silence can be  pretty hurtful, too. Let’s replace the gossip and sarcasm with genuine, loving words. Not fake stuff, either. I want to make a better effort to see the best in people, even people I find difficult at the moment. Then speak it. Words are phenomenal. Women can be supremely effective with this if we choose it. I’ve enjoyed female bonds that are nothing but constructive and nourishing, amazing stuff! And unfortunately I’ve seen female bonds deteriorate into deep wounds, all because of words. I want to remember how powerful my tongue is and how influential my spirit can be, then make an effort to draw out the best in those both nearby and far off. I want to remember that everyone has a history I know little to nothing about, and assume that most folks are at any given time doing the best they can do. Replace judgement, even when I am feeling hurt, with understanding. At the very least, I will check all the words coming out of my mouth so that I never start or participate in gossip, nor allow it by passivity. Speak well of other human beings. Period. No matter who they are or how I am feeling temporarily.
  • Honest Assessments of What I Bring to the Table & Taking Better Ownership of My Decisions: For me this starts with just a nice, deep breath. Maybe some yoga or a long run, but mostly just listening for God to say something soothing to me. Assessing my place in life has a lot more to do with listening than declaring. Is the same true for you? We can always go about setting goals and staking claims around the planet, and that’s great! But settled confidence and stronger, more deliberate decisions come with a quiet mind. Fewer distractions. Lots of deep breathing. I’m too old for being so desperate to fit in and allowing others to tell me how to live.
  • Harnessing My Imagination & Choosing to Dwell in Possibility: It’s a choice that can become habit and then blend seamlessly into a natural state of being, but it is first a choice. Maybe a long series of tiny choices. I think this has a lot to do with gratitude, too, so yes to purposefully saying thank you for more stuff in my life. Yes to making as many conscious little choices as possible throughout each day to see the good around me and imagine better things coming. I believe in the wild, wonderful power of imagination, after all. I need to get back to acting on that belief.
  • Focus, Then Speak My Mind Without Apologizing:  This has a little (maybe a lot) to do with pawning my decisions off on other people for fear of making my truest opinions known. The old habit is based in fear. Its replacement is based in love. Not just selfish love, either, because being gently but firmly honest about my heart can only build more genuine connections with other people. It could mean occasionally saying goodbye to people, or maybe just redefining my relationship with them, but if those bonds were based on something other than the truth of my heart, what am I really losing?  Also, the older I get the more quickly time passes, and I keep hearing that this only becomes more and more true. I’m too old waste time or to live anything but a genuine life, day to day.

You know what I’m not too old for? Bouncy houses. Not too old for that yet, thank goodness.

I’ll be 42 in March, making me neither a spring chicken nor terribly old. You may also be 42 or maybe 18 or 60. All of us are too old for the stuff listed here. xoxo Reclaim your health and happiness.

What do you think? Are any of these things plaguing your every day life? Your relationships? If so, how do you hope to remedy it?

Happiness is an inside job.
Get to work.
XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: aha moment, friends, love, thinky stuff

friday 5 at the farm: stormy day photos

November 6, 2015

Thursday brought some crazy weather to Oklahoma. A lightning quick (get it?) and rather violent storm hit the farm suddenly in the middle of the afternoon. The morning’s flannel grey skies turned black. The warm, humid air turned icy cold. And all those fallen oak leaves twirled upward in spirals and autumnal confetti bursts. Rain flooded the middle field in just moments and ran in a silver-white, frothing stream downhill. The pond churned like a tiny ocean. Our east facing barn doors were blown out, or maybe the horses broke them out? It’s hard to say.

fri5 rain c

fri5 chanta wet c

fri5 meh wet c

Then the storm passed as suddenly as it had arrived. The skies calmed. Half-hearted thunder and thread-thin cracks of lightning kept me watching the skies for a few more hours, but overall the farm was quiet. I returned the horses to their field, consoled the agitated llama, and texted photos of the barn doors to my husband.

By evening, the air was so sweet. Clean and sweet, rinsed out and blown through by the storm. Settled. Fog appeared between the trees and above the grass in cottony streaks, filling every dip and corner with opaque white. It was a stunning kind of quiet. I adore the way fog muffles everything, and I think evening fog is an especially nice gift.

fri5 klaus fog east c

Klaus played and romped around in the gentle dusk while I watched Handsome repair the barn doors. Then he (Klaus, not my husband) appeared from behind the giant hay bales, smelling like sage bush. I imagined he was a small, Spanish-speaking werewolf, which may in fact be the case.

When the farm is so drenched in magic like this I cannot fix my eyes on one thing. Neither my mind. I want to collect all the details and force them into some kind of permanence. Which is silly, of course, because a big part of magic is that it is fleeting, elusive. So instead I hope to at least remember how pink the eastern sky was as the moon rose and how the pine trees vibrated with fragrance. I hope to remember how hard my husband worked to fix the barn doors, at the end of an exhausting day at his real job. I hope to think about this storm, its suddenness, and how grateful I am that no animals were hurt.

fri5 fog c

Storms come and go, and everything is beautiful and weird.

XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: animals, daily life, Friday 5 at the Farm, memories, Oklahoma weather, thinky stuff

happily anticipating holidays at the farm

October 29, 2015

Late October. Such an exciting time of transition. This is when everything really starts looking different in Oklahoma and when we officially trade our summertime pool parties for blanket-wrapped bonfires. This week marks the uphill climb to that first tall peak of the roller coaster known as The Holidays.

For hostesses, Halloween is the point of no return… Mwa-ha-ha…

I groove hostessing. Maybe you call it entertaining or simply having people over. I straight up love opening The Lazy W to friends and family, sometimes my husband’s professional colleagues, even strangers. We indulge in this pretty often and for a wide variety of reasons. In fact, if ever too much time seems to be passing between special occasions, you can bet that I am thinking up an excuse to invite people here. Lots of different personalities living and breathing in this house, all over the farm really, eating and laughing and infusing these walls with their Love and energy, it’s what keeps this place alive. Luckily Handsome is on board with my passion for people about 87% of the time. That other 13%? I can usually bridge that gap with something chocolate. Like this.

But with the holidays so close upon us, reasons and excuses to gather are about to be plentiful.

This weekend we will dress up in costumes and share sweet treats, maybe attend a few parties and then sleep one extra hour Sunday morning. Handsome will be Batman, of course, the best Batman in all the land. I will be at least four different characters to go alongside Batman, taking photos of him with random strangers. My costume criteria is always twofold: How much have I been running lately and not eating tortilla chips- can I pull this off? And also- will it leave me free to be Batman’s fans’ photographer? haha Yeah, we are definitely excited about Halloween this year!

batman w bane

Actually I am looking forward to all the holidays this year! The gathering spirit has got me tight in its happy grasp. To me, preparing the farm for people is all about this: Love. Why are we gathering, and how can I set the stage for Love to move freely between us? How can this event, whatever it is, meet needs and make memories for everyone? So the details of that are pretty simple: atmosphere, food, and comfort.

 

holiday board

 

ATMOSPHERE, LIKE NATURAL BLOOMS & PAPER DECOR: I love wild color around the house all year long, and when given a choice I will go for natural decor like real trees and indoor plants and flowers. So for the wintertime holidays that means forcing bulbs, for one thing. This year, in addition to paper whites and amaryllis I will force some more colorful stuff, and it’s very exciting! At the Master Gardeners meeting next week, they are selling flower bulbs to members only and I cannot wait to see what they offer. Bring on the tulips and hyacinths!! The cozier months mean lots of yarn and tissue paper crafts, too. These are soft and inviting in any room, plus they are a relaxing way to keep my hands busy during movie marathons.

paperwhites

ALSO, LIGHTS: I love having twinkle lights strung all through the house, around the nearby yards, in trees, over our deck, around mirrors, wherever I can find an electrical outlet nearby. Handsome, though he chagrins wasted electricity, understands my biological need for sparkle and one day brought home a giant box of energy-efficient lights. I think he got them on clearance after Christmas last year, and now we are both happy, haha. : )

lights

THEMES Some of the themed parties we threw this past year were Oscars Night, Pizza and Board Games, Car Show Pinup (that was my husband’s surprise 40th birthday), and Fiesta. Each of these was a fully developed, top to bottom, inside and out themed party that just made us so happy. I love starting with the invitation and carrying the idea through food and drink, music, decorations, and activities. For the wintertime holidays, we will likely go for a cookie exchange, a a chili cook off, some Dirty Santa fun, and more.

party posts car show
My handsome guy surrounded by some of our friends at his surprise 40th birthday Pinup Car Show party. THAT was memorable! xoxo
party post oscars joe
Our friend Joe filling out his ballot at last year’s Oscars party. Fun!

In addition to themes for gathering, I will be drumming up care package themes for our oldest daughter. She is living on her own out of state for the first time, and I want her winter to be as cozy and happy as possible. (Send me your ideas!)

party post joc pacino

FOOD Ahh, wintertime diet, you are so good and so bad. I foresee lots of baking. Lots of biscotti, lots of homemade chicken pot pie and chicken and dumplins, a pot of red beans and rice here and there, so much bone-warming food. We can totally throw homemade pizza parties in wintertime,too! Thank goodness for my new treadmill.

party post pizza jason
Our friend Jason crafting his pizza masterpiece. We had an exciting tornado that night and ended the evening playing Cards Against Humanity. My gosh. FUN.

SNOW, maybe ICE All the almanac-type signs point to a snowier than usual winter in Oklahoma this year, so I am looking forward to lots of snowman building, snow angel making, snow ice cream, bonfires, fireplace chats, you name it. Snow is gonna be a fun excuse to cozy up and talk closely with people we love. And our buffalo told me he is ready.

snowy buff

SPEAKING OF PEOPLE Who to invite, and how to get them here? We are super blessed to move in several interesting circles of friends. Sometimes these circles overlap naturally, and sometimes we cause them to overlap, and this is always fun and interesting. We have some wonderful, beloved local family, too, so gathering people at the farm is pretty easy. Usually it’s just a matter of how to spread the word? Until now I have always just texted folks or mocked up a silly Facebook event page.

fb event

But recently I discovered Paperless Post and cannot wait to dive in! I am such a sucker for themed-out events, and this just looks so fun. They offer a huge variety of styles and prices; in fact browse just the free stuff and you’ll be blown away by the selection. It’s actually dangerous for a person like me, who is always looking for an excuse to gather her people together, because just seeing a pretty invite sparks ideas for new events. haha I mean click on this one, for example. Hilarious! Check out all of their creative invitations right here. I literally explored for half an hour. SO much fun!

Paperless Post can print your holiday cards, too, and I think I’ll try that this year. Nobody warn my husband, but I think we will have our portrait made soon. We will wear matching khakis and white shirts and big red holiday bows on our necks, and our new puppy will be stage center. Obviously. Or no, scratch that. We will wear acid washed denim and carry bow-staffs. Yes.

Anyway, three cheers for gathering your people! One big extra loud cheer for the holidays and all the Love they bring us. Check out Paperless Post, friends, and let me know which ones you like. I am signing off now to see if any of my Halloween costumes fit.

“Hospitality is present when something happens for you.
It is absent when something happens to you.
Those two simple prepositions – for and to – express it all.”
~Danny Meyer
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: hostessingTagged: holidays, hospitality, Paperless Post

super moon reflections, a month later

October 27, 2015

One Month Ago:

At 5:20 Monday morning, our south lawn was draped in stark moon shadows. Long, dramatic, angular ghosts in black and silver, jutting out to the east of every outbuilding, every oak tree, even the slender zinnias. The sight was truly stunning. I had never seen the farm so zig-zagged by shadow and light. The full moon was still lit fiercely, almost too bright to gaze at directly, and now perched high in the satiny black heavens, no longer eclipsed. I don’t remember even a stitch of a breeze that Monday morning. All the animals were asleep except the barn cats and Klaus. He was bounding around in the moonlight, swirling our ankles and celebrating a new day. A new moon phase, too, though he didn’t know it.

(photo credit to my friend Christina Kamp)
(photo credit to my friend Christina Kamp)

A Few Hours Earlier:

Sunday night before, just as the swollen moon was growing that bloody rust around her edges and the eclipse was beginning, Handsome and I sat with Klaus in the barnyard, the one where we sometimes have outdoor movie nights with friends. We were in plastic Adirondack chairs facing east, toward the Talking Tree. The sky was black and breezy.

That night I had collapsed desperately into moon gazing, feeling more physically and emotionally drained than I had in months. So much of that previous week was spent shredded and crying, angry, deeply examining and weighing everything in my life (big stuff, friends, not what color to paint my kitchen). I watched the sky and measured my internal reactions, actively hoping that the full moon would bring the end of some unwelcome intensity. Breathed deeply.

(photo credit to our friend James Menzies)
(photo credit to our friend James Menzies)

The eclipse was amazing, of course. We sat in that barnyard and watched for a long time, trading cuddles with Klaus and holding hands more cautiously than normal. We saw a shooting star at the same moment and both made wishes. Probably breaking good-luck protocol, Handsome asked me what my wish was. “For everything to return to normal,” I answered honestly. This stung him, he said, because he thought everything was normal. And wonderful. I pulled my frayed orange blanket more tightly around my arms and flinched at a sticker that had found my ankle.

For all its beauty and intensity, that previous lunar cycle was rough. It coincided with my own personal lunar cycle, and the combination was almost too much. As life goes, this cosmic intersection happened alongside some unrelated (or maybe definitely related?) life events, external stressors that became much harder to cope with under these circumstances. My energy was both drained and exploding, which is bizarre, and everything was white hot, sharp, and painfully intense. Just like the full moon in those pre-dawn moments on Monday. The heated edge cast scary shadows on every part of my life.

Today:

That was a month ago. Our Super Moon. The Blood Moon that captured everyone’s attention in so many ways. That Monday morning in September, drained of all its color and gleaming fiercely, the moon got my heart and mind all churned up. And the difficulty continued for a few more weeks.

This morning in October, as we watched the moon rise full and bright again, everything is softer, gentler. The weather is cooler but not yet cold. Our windows are open and so is my heart again, finally. My thoughts and emotions are settled now and I feel stronger with this new perspective. We are enjoying a rebuilding in this house, and it feels pretty wonderful. I got my shooting-star wish that things would return to normal, except that having walked with eyes open through that bizarre month, things are better than normal now. Deliberateness brings lots of added beauty, you know?

Did you experience anything like this leading up to the Super Blood Moon? Did you notice the crystal clear dark-before-dawn that first Monday morning after the eclipse? Had you been through an exceptionally potent week (or month) leading up to it?

Our bodies are comprised of so much water, after all. If the ocean can be pulled by the moon, why would we be exempt? I have tried to rebel against this for a long time, but finally the rhythm makes sense. Finally the purpose seems a little more clear, the swell and retreat of energy, all the variations in between. Now, as long we stay centered in Love and navigate the waters honestly, I feel safe riding the waves and plumbing the depths. Who once said that an unexamined life is not worth living?

And one last note: Other life issues aside, I personally believe the color of your kitchen is kind of a big deal. ; ) Choose wisely.

“Summer ends and autumn comes,
and he who would have it otherwise
would have high tide always and a full moon every night.”
~Hal Borland
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

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Filed Under: lunar cycles, marriage, moon cycles, thinky stuff

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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