Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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motivation monday: january fitness so far

Hey hey, it’s Monday! A fabled day for fresh starts and checking in on goals. Let’s review life lately.

I paused just after the holidays to take stock of my health and well being and was pleasantly surprised to be not too freaked out. After enjoying my fair share of December decadence and inactivity, I fluffed up but only a little. For the first time in my adult life I started the year with not so much regret and self loathing but rather just a craving for better food and more sweat. Easy. Simply time to get smoothly back in a groove.

Okay.

January 2-8: Ran just 16.5 sluggish miles total due to some painfully cold, windy weather but added in two cardio barre sessions plus my first aerial yoga class, which was so fun!! After a week of eating better food (more veggies, no sweets) I was feeling more like myself. For the first week of January I just aimed to gradually increase good energy and keep everything in balance with the rest of life. The phrase sustainable healthy habits has been floating in my head. 

We spent lots of extra time playing in the snow, though, which was magical., xoxo
We spent lots of extra time playing in the snow, though, which was magical. xoxo

January 9-15: Ran 38.47 total miles, and my mind and body were much more comfortable this week. Thanks to my new Garmin I am getting a grip on my actual average pace and heart rate fluctuations, which is fun, if slightly too easy to get obsessed with. I was joking with a friend recently that first I was obsessed with my weight, then my long distance ability, then my pace, and now I think about being skinny and running fast and far but with a low HR. If it’s measurable, it’s never enough. Ha. 

  One day this week was really exciting. While running 400m repeats I felt this deep surge of energy andtook off on a straight path, hitting a 6:05 pace over and over. So thrilling! My belly had that sparkler effect going on, do you know what I mean? A completely different runner’s high than long distance endorphins. When I laced up that day I only intended to run off some stress; the speed work was a pleasant surprise, and to boot I met a local girl who is training for her first marathon in April, yay! Hopefully we’ll bump into each other again soon.


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Besides running, this past week I grabbed a couple of hours of cardio barre (just internet videos I follow at home, I have decided this is much better for my body than even light weightlifting) plus one more aerial yoga class, which was even more of a workout than the week before. If you can find an aerial yoga studio in your town, runners, give it a try. Such a great full body stretch, and what an incredible upper body strength challenge. WOW. Meredith and I go to OKC for our third class tonight. Yesssss…

aerial girls C

 

Food Notes: Among so many healthy and delicious meals lately, one accidental combination stands out: I assembled a plate of two cooked eggs (omelette style, not quite scrambled) with a sliced raw pear, an ounce of mozzarella cheese, and a pile of good dark green lettuce. The lettuce was dressed with lemon juice and just a scant half tablespoon of olive oil and lots of black pepper and sea salt (my favorite salad dressing, ever). The olive oil pooled beneath everything, which made the eggs extra decadent and the last few bites of raw pear something otherworldly. Those few pear slices were coated with olive oil and black pepper, slick and flavorful and mouthwatering. Delicious. So good. This accident will become a repeat performer.

  By the way, Genevieve and I are on a mission to prove that any good entree can be translated to a salad. Omelette with pear on the side? Yes. Adding it to the list. Sushi? The jury is hung on a lettuce technicality.

This Coming Week: Monica from Run Eat Repeat has been hosting a fun and informational daily running camp which has been fun, so going forward I’ll continue to check in with her. I’m also planning to run more or less according to this Hal Higdon advanced marathon training plan (today begins week four). Loving raw kale and chicken breast. Loving eggs and Greek yogurt. Junk food cravings are fading to the background, happily. Loving cardio barre and of course aerial yoga. Loving lots of time playing outside and getting a grip on our many farm projects for 2017. I feel like January is starting off pretty great.

I hope your month has started well too, and I hope that whatever plan you are following to feel good bodily that it also helps you feel good emotionally. That matters. 

And with that, I am off to start this day!

“A feeble body weakens the mind.”
~Jean Jacques Rousseau
XOXOXOXO

 

 

in the midst of winter, an albert camus poem

Hello friends, happy Saturday! Are you frozen, cuddled up somewhere and thinking of comfort food? Or are you making plans to seize the day because like Choctaw, Oklahoma, your town has dodged another winter bullet? However your January Saturday looks, I have a small, luscious dose of literature to share. Maybe it will warm you a little.

Albert Camus was an Algerian writer living in France during and following the Nazi occupation. Brought up by proletariat parents and active in journalism during a fascinating chapter of history, he contributed to the world a sea of newsy, theatrical, and philosophical writings for all of his 47 years (Camus was killed in a car wreck). In 1957 he became the second youngest recipient of the Nobel prize in literature.

The poem below is one of his that I have personally loved for many years, and as casual readers are free to do I have always gleaned from it whatever I wish, whatever I need at the time. Lately, I appreciate the idea that we can nurture within ourselves a wellspring of joy, health, and light. Not humanism, by the way, just a deliberate sort of well-being and faith.

I understand the need for all the seasons, including the dying and waiting times like winter and grief; but I also believe strongly in the power of gratitude and joy to transform our circumstances. Imagine building a little greenhouse for our own happiness. Like growing our own gorgeous food, cultivating our own private sense of health and joy frees us from relying so heavily on outside circumstances to be content, you know? If we can from the inside out, by our own volition, change some perspective and even actual life circumstances? Rule over them? Quite a tempting thought.

My dear, in the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy.
For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me,
within me, there’s something stronger-
something better, pushing right back.

An easy little dig about Camus lead me to a school of thought called absurdism and, friends, it’s pretty interesting. It teases to the differences between an absence of hope and actual despair: “…the total absence of hope, which has nothing to do with despair, a continual refusal, which must not be confused with renouncement – and a conscious dissatisfaction.” Does this sound to you like a little echo that despair is a choice, and so maybe also is joy? 

I hope you like this poem. And I hope that whether you are simply unhappy with the cold and the dormancy of January (like my husband) or whether you are in a true valley of despair, one of those times in life when you are pressed on all sides by difficult, negative outside forces, that you find within yourself all the love, smiles, calm, and summer. I hope you can gather whatever strength you need and improve your circumstances.

You absolutely can cultivate within yourself an endless summer. All those big and little ways you have learned to nourish yourself emotionally and bodily, spiritually, all of it, they are important and valuable. I hope those seeds germinate and sprout right when you need them to. I hope they bloom and brighten your scenery and attract the right people you need and want.

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And I hope you find some disco balls, yarn crafts, jungle greenery, and other things that please you to make the picture complete.

No despair. Bring on the cold.
XOXOXOXO

 

 

training for but not running a marathon

Hello there, happy Monday-eve!

Tomorrow is Marathon Monday, the first of many in 2017.

For my first fitness/running/marathon post of the new year, I would like to share some thoughts on last summer and fall, those many weeks spent training for but ultimately not running Route 66 in Tulsa. Even if you are not a runner, I hope you’ll find this interesting and maybe even useful. No secret that running is as much a lifestyle as a sport. If you are a runner, I would love to hear your perspective, too. 

 

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For the sake of keeping good life records and answering the obvious question, why did I train but not race?

I started last year’s spring marathon season with a pretty bad ankle sprain and had to skip the OKC April event completely. My high hopes of redemption after the 2015 Crying Games were, well, dashed.

My ankle thankfully healed in time to make a fun June trip to Colorado and get in some amazing hikes with Jocelyn plus run lots of hilly miles there, all of which served to kick off a brand new training season.

Joc & Bridge xoxo Best hiking guides on earth
Joc & Bridge xoxo Best hiking guides on earth

My imagination was set on the Tulsa full in mid-November, but I never registered for it. I just had this vague feeling that it wasn’t right. I did run consistently all summer, though, and into autumn, following my chosen plan pretty strictly. 

It was so great. I felt better than I had felt in all the three or so years of running so far. I even lost some weight without dieting and had energy to spare.

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None of that low-energy-black-under-your-eyes-carb-starvation nonsense like in 2015. Let’s never do that again, okay? Okay. 

Then as the temperatures dropped and our leaves fell in earnest, I woke up one day with a nasty case of strep throat. Handsome joined the germy, high-fever club so we loaded our systems up with antibiotics and slept for a few days. 

Eventually we felt good enough to shake it off and visit Jocelyn again, this time during the week that would have been spent tapering. My thoughts were torn between “I should really get some miles in just in case,” and also, “Man I am glad I didn’t pay for the registration already!”

Funny side note: I had good reason to believe Handsome was surprising me with a race BIB as an early Christmas gift. I hated to ruin the surprise if this was the case, but I had to know. What a deep, amazing relief it was when he said no. He had considered it but could tell that my race enthusiasm had waned. Okay, side note over.

I also happened to get a bizarre and disturbing case of extreme altitude sickness that weekend and only barely hiked once or twice. No running at all, much different from every previous trip to EP. We assumed the antibiotics and some dehydration had weakened me considerably. Oh well.

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Pretty cool, if you ask me, how that running chapter of 2016 was book-ended with visits to Colorado. 

Okay. The take-aways. What are some benefits of training for a marathon even if you don’t run the race?

Perhaps the most beautiful thing about marathon training is how much of an adventure it is. You know that saying, that a marathon is just the final 26 miles of a journey that is hundreds of miles long? Very true. And along that journey a runner learns plenty about himself, his life, and the world at large. This past season was my third such journey, and here is what I walked away with, despite not earning a finisher’s medal: 

  1. Gratitude Interrupts Anxiety. Exactly as with every other kind of anxiety in life, gratitude has the power to sort of melt running anxiety and overshadow it. Gratitude for strong ankles, gratitude for healthy food to keep you energetic, gratitude for time available to dedicate to running, gratitude for pleasant (or at least bearable) weather. Gratitude for the people who inspire and encourage us. Gratitude for every goal met and every lesson learned when we don’t meet those goals. Gratitude for faster speeds and slower heart rates. Gratitude for comfortable shoes and good music. Gratitude for jeans that fit better than before and foam rollers that hurt so good and cold, sweet watermelon. Millions of big and little things for which to give thanks along this 18-week running journey. Let your thankful heart lead the way on the days you don’t think you can do it. You really, really can.
  2. Run While You Can. During the sprained-ankle months I sat around pretty depressed and pouting like a child, ha. Not being free to run leaked some funky negative energy into my life and into our home, into all of my projects. So when the day finally came that I was free to nibble at a mile here and there, everything seemed right in the world again. The positive energy quickly gained momentum. That contrast of emotion was useful later, when inevitably I felt challenged by a workout or pressed for time. I was able to remember how much worse it is not be able to run at all. Every opportunity to lace up is a gift. Run while you can, if you love it, because you never know when you’ll have to take a break or for how long. Carpe diem.One day while I was driving to Harrah to run, this lime and this avocado rolled across the floorboard of my car. I did not buy them. How they got in my car is a mystery. A delicious, vitamin-packed mystery. Had they been there since 1963 when the car was built? No one knows. I sliced them and added them to a really big green salad topped also with grilled steak. The End.
  3. Solitude is Powerful. I ran with local friends three or four times between June and November, and I thoroughly enjoyed each meeting! But most of my weeks were spent running alone, which was quite fruitful. Privacy in the midst of a hectic farm and family schedule helped me reset my nerves and reorder my thoughts. Forty-five minutes or an hour and a half on average weekday mornings gave me energy to work around the farm all day; it cleared my head early. And those 16-20 mile runs on Fridays felt like little emotional retreats. I looked forward to them as well as to the recoveries that must follow. Long runs on Fridays always made for super happy weekends. Mental freedom, baby. It counts for so much.treadmill
  4. Persistence Gave Me Speed! That was a pleasant surprise, especially in the thick of a hot, humid Oklahoma summer. I privately nibbled away at a few progressive goals and was thrilled one week to run 12.5 miles in 1:41. That was an unofficial PR, and I was elated for hours. Days. It definitely gave me the spark that I could get better with more focus, and in 2017 I intend to do just that.
  5. Long Term Goals are Totally Worth Having. I forget this sometimes, getting overwhelmed by the enormity of hard things in life, and I allow that sensation of smallness to paralyze me, believing that things are impossible or hopeless. (Which is weird, right? For someone who professes so much about positive thinking? But that’s a whole other conversation.) With running as a life metaphor, let’s remember that the structure of a well chosen plan is refreshing and wildly effective. It provides a base for time management, something good around which you can arrange the rest of your hours and days. It propels you to start small with what you can already do then add more and more as you improve. Progressively. Gradually. A smart plan gets you to your goal, but it also enriches and builds you along the way. Like magic, really.

    My long-run jelly-bracelet trick before I got my cool new Garmin. Each one represented 1.5 miles. Fun!
    My long-run jelly-bracelet trick before I got my cool new Garmin.
  6. Addictive Personalities Can be Harnessed for Good. Haha, my friend Meredith and I were chatting about this recently. Handsome and I also tease each other about being “addictive” and “OCD.” If like us you too have an addictive personality, running might be a smart way to harness that particular energy. When I am running a lot of miles I notice a special chillness in the rest of my life. It’s like, if I can apply a measure of obsession to my training plan, then I can go about the rest of my routine smiling and relaxed, energetic, drained of stress and frenzy. The phrase we toss around is “Let it be your servant, not your master,” which can be a delicate balance. But I finally see for my own life that putting running toward the top of my priorities does serve my life. It lets everything else fall into place beautifully. (Four years ago I would have called you crazy for suggesting this. xoxo)

  7. Save Some Big Bucks. Ha, I mean honestly, races are expensive, right? The entry fee, the travel costs, the extra bananas and PASTA!! LOL. Cash in our pocket, I suppose. More gardening money. I am kidding a little, but the fact is that even without a keepsake medal or BIB, even without the race experience (which is admittedly pretty amazing), those long runs are still so good. The weeks are still intensely satisfying. You can be a happy, healthy runner in private and save some money. I have not yet discovered any laws against this.

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Well friends, those are about as distilled as my thoughts on this topic are going to get. Seven pretty wonderful things I have internalized after training for but not running a big race. I feel so happy! Fortified in many ways. Ready to tackle new pursuits this year.

I got about 50 packages of sour cherry sports beans for Christmas. Better than candy in my book! Bring on those long runs.
Yay for a whole case of sour cherry sports beans instead of Christmas candy!

Thank you so much, friends, for reading and for sharing your thoughts. I love getting to know people this way.

Thank you to Handsome for secretly almost registering me in the Tulsa full as an early Christmas surprise but also for being sensitive enough to his wife’s nuanced behavior to know she wasn’t ready. For a non-runner, he is pretty tuned in. xoxo

Happy New Running Year!!
Enjoy the Journey
XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: snapshots of this week

Hello, happy first Friday of the brand new year! This weekend on which we are about thrust ourselves is already much appreciated. And waking up to a thick, glittering snow quilt certainly makes the single digit temps more bearable. As soon as the sun comes up, Klaus and I will be outside, making tracks and checking on animals, breaking ice and having fun. Maybe we’ll see how adept his big paws are at building snow men? At least he should be able to swish a pretty great looking snow angel. If that happens, I’ll post it to Instagram for sure.

To kickoff Friday 5 at the Farm for 2016, here are five photos from this past week. They are just snapshots languishing on my cell phone but actually represent some great memories.

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#1. Engagement Party! A couple of months ago, our friends Tami and Jason flew to Italy for a romantic getaway. While there, Jason surprised Tami with a wedding proposal! They were in Venice, on a traditional gondola, and he was nervous and not even sure she’d say yes. They are madly in love of course, but marriage had not been on the table, so to say the least she really was shocked. I loved watching them as they recounted that memory. It is one of the best, most romantic stories I have ever heard, and it’s real.

Handsome and I were happy to attend their recent engagement party and are so happy for them! This photo is blurry, but can you see the giant decorative “diamond rings” hanging from the light fixture? The party was a lot of fun, the hostess so sweet and gracious. We met lots of new friends and had a great time. Nothing quite like marinating in an atmosphere of love and romance.

I do sort of regret not eating one of these magical looking cupcakes.

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#2. A Man & his Dog & my Lost Redbud The photo below is my strong, hard-working guy and his faithful assistant working at our bonfire pit. The tree stump there by the metal birdcage was a mostly rotted Redbud tree, which we chopped down and burned just as year changed. We made this task a bit ceremonious, which helped because I was sad to lose this beautiful thing. I love Redbuds in general (our state tree), but this particular one just kept hanging on, year after year. It was where I had hung that cotton wedding chandelier, it was an anchor for a string of twinkle lights, and even in its decline it bloomed profusely every spring. It was just special, and I was sad to see it go.

You might also like to know that anytime Handsome is working outside or (especially!) when he is using our black pickup truck, Klaus wants… no, NEEDS… to participate. This big dog knows the words “truck” and “chores” and has no fear as long as his Daddy is in the lead. It makes me deeply happy to watch them together.

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#3. Exhausted Lusty Pup Who Thinks He is Still Tiny Following our traditional first bonfire of the year with friends, Klaus was completely spent. Some of our friends had brought their dog to the party, a pup named Champ, and he and Klaus became fast friends, sort of. They spent several hours in feverish chasing and wrestling, nervous dominance/romantic attempts, and a pitiful, whining separation when the chaos became too much for us humans. Anyway. Late that evening after the farm was empty of beloved fire-watchers and marshmallow roasters, Klaus pinned me on this couch. He laid exactly on my shoulder and belly, stretched out along my legs, and passed out cold. He snored contentedly. I was helpless and in heaven.

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#4. Afternoon Sunlight Magic & the View from my Kitchen I adore this exact vantage, from which I see so many things I love, at this time of day especially. It’s right around the moments the sun begins to surrender, when it slants across from the south and hits a disco ball perched on our dining room table. Everything glows and sparkles for a little while. Klaus is usually asleep now, because he’s been playing so hard and doing his dog chores (very important stuff). I am showered (finally) and cooking dinner. Chances are good that my guy is about to text that he’s coming home. Afternoon is blending into evening at the farm, and when it’s too cold to walk outside and see the sunset, this is a beautiful consolation.

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#5. Greek Meal I Cannot Stop Craving. This past Monday evening after a surprisingly difficult and truly exhilarating aerial yoga class with friends, we all stopped at a nearby Greek restaurant for a nice, late supper. So European of us, right? I was quite hungry, having made a point to arrive at the “silks” on a perfectly empty stomach. You guys, this meal was amazing. I ordered it expecting that a traditional Greek garden salad (with olives, feta, cucumbers, etcetera) would be topped with grilled chicken strips. What a treat to instead see it crowned with this big scoop of saffron chicken salad! It also had some kind of tangy, creamy sauce I forgot to identify, and every detail of it was so good. The small, warm pita triangles and layer of fresh, cold tabbouleh. Yyeesss. More of this please. If I do sign up for weekly aerial yoga classes, this salad could make regular appearances in my life.

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Okay, thanks so much for touching base at the digital Lazy W! We are making slow but steady progress on new market gardening projects, so stay tuned for details on that. I am beyond excited.

A new Marathon Monday post is coming too, about the benefits of training for a race but not running it.

Happy, cozy, loving weekend to you! Enjoy the snow, Oklahoma! Carpe the diems.

“Exhaust the little moment. Soon it dies.
And be it gash or gold it will not come 
Again in this identical disguise.”
~Gwendolyn Brooks
XOXOXOXO

saying thank you for 2016

Soaking in our second Hot Tub Summit of the day, this time drenched in bright sunshine instead of stardust, I casually asked my husband how will he remember this past year. What stands out to him about 2016. He said that was too big a question to spring on a person, and of course he’s right. I have been meditating on this question for days and still have not distilled a complete answer.

These past twelve months have been wildly textured, rich with hurt and joy, adventure, romance, back-breaking labor, stress that made us brittle then relief that rinsed us clean and made us pliable again, accomplishments, failures, more accomplishments, and so much popcorn.

Thank goodness for homemade popcorn, really, and all the cuddling that comes with it.

I do not count myself among the folks who are weighed down mourning the apparently disproportionate loss of celebrities this year. To each his own, for sure. I admit that our 2016 In Memoriam will be a tear jerker when those video montages start circulating, but my real actual life has been such a roller coaster of grief and joy, and that roller coaster has lasted for so many years with almost no acknowledgement from the outside world, that I have little need to mourn strangers. Does that sound cold or dis-compassionate? It doesn’t feel that way. I just feel fairly focused on this gorgeous little nine-acre bubble here. Well, these nine acres plus all the places on Earth where our disconnected loved ones call home.

Love knows no property lines, of course. And maybe also not time.

I can barely remember whether I declared a big glittering resolution a year ago, but I am so happy to look back and see that the year was far better than I could have hoped or achieved on my own. The Law of Attraction must have a built in clause about excess and grace, because so many things have happened beyond my wildest imagination, it’s thrilling. I feel healthy, settled, strong, grateful, excited, nourished, and eyes-wide-open, you know?

That last one bears a cool distinction because for a while (a few years) there I was living so much by faith that my eyes were shut tight. If that makes any sense. I had to drive fast and hard and follow the curves completely blind in order to keep moving forward.

I am still relying on faith, as it always should be, but now minus the constant terror.

Anyway. If I had a resolution or even a theme word for 2016, I don’t remember it and have little interest in searching my blog or journal to know for sure. Life has brought me (us, I hope) to a better place.

Instagram “Top Nine” offers the following memories, based solely on likes:

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It was fun to walk down that lane. But I don’t put everything on Instagram. Those photographic archives don’t show the late night conversations with Jocelyn, the private moments of reflection spent reading challenging books, and certainly not the irreplaceable romance I enjoy with my husband. Even logging most of my sweaty, hard-earned miles one digital place or another, I cannot see anywhere online how much running has changed my life. My sister Angela’s full-spectrum journey back to health and the family is nowhere on the internet, and neither is my husband’s amazing career evolution.

No collective experience on social media, not even on this blog where I indulge myself constantly, can paint the full portrait of my life lately, and that’s good. That’s really, really good.

We still have unfulfilled longings, unanswered prayers, and goals for which we strive constantly. This also is really good, because we remain (mostly) humble and hungry.

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It’s the last day of a spectacular year, and I just want to say THANK YOU to God, to all the elements of the Universe that have converged to answer our hopes and reward our work. I want to say thank you to our friends who have helped shape our world so beautifully, and even to our few enemies who are just living their own lives, after all. We learn plenty from you, and we don’t feel hate anymore.

Handsome and I have not quite decided how we’ll celebrate New Year’s Eve, because we both assumed it would be easy to find the right event, but everything locally is sold out, ha! It’s fine. Friday night we attended a wonderful engagement party for our friends Tami and Jason, and tomorrow night we are hosting a casual bonfire to kick off 2017 with easy fun. So if tonight we stay home with our animals and soak up a quiet countdown to midnight, that’s fine by me.

Homemade popcorn and cuddling sound perfect.

Then on to dreaming big for 2017.

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See you next year, friends!

XOXOXOXO