Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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read, watch, listen & a few snapshots of life lately

READ

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, the Golden State Killer book by Michelle McNamara. Sorry-not-sorry. Give me all the serial killer stories. I fell away from reading as much while we watched so many Halloween movies last month, but I’ve picked it back up again. 

The recent blog post by Not Without Salt called “Getting Together.” She writes on the essentials of gathering around the table and confesses a youthful obsession with Martha Stewart, which I share, as all good girls form the 80’s do. Then she describes in relatable ways and with gorgeous photos how her get-togethers actually look these days. I adore (I MEAN ADORE) her idea of hosting a clean-out-the-fridge dinner party. Man. Yes, please. Let’s do it. Local friends, expect that phone call.

Umm, you guys I was included in an article for Women’s Running magazine! “Running at Every Age: Run for Life!” is in the October print issue and also online now. This is what happens sometimes to people who answer Twitter polls with too much enthusiasm. Please note: The author kind of says that I trained for a triathlon. I did not. That was a misunderstanding and I feel weird about it. But the rest of it is so good!

Half Baked Harvest just posted her luscious 2018 Thanksgiving menu, and it has my holiday vibes in overdrive. I want some of that cranberry-brie pull-apart bread as soon as possible. 

lazyw Thanksgiving groceries
Pretty stoked to write my November grocery lists!

The Norwegian mindset is always fascinating to me, and this list of ways to thrive in the deepest of winters is a good read. I mean, most years Oklahoma is a thousand times milder than Norway, but by our own standards we are looking at a very cold and snowy few months ahead, so I will keep these reminders handy.

I have been paying special attention to The Apartment recently, both for better productivity and for the upcoming house guest season, wahoo! So this list of 22 guest room tips by Nesting With Grace is much appreciated. 

I’m adding chalkboards everywhere, lots more various artwork on the walls, & storage. Loving this project!

Our friend Kellie, truly one of the most gentle-strong people I have ever known, sent this devotional by Proverbs 31 Ministries, called “Process Before the Promise.”  

Hoping doesn’t mean we ignore reality. No, hoping means we acknowledge reality in the very same breath that we acknowledge God’s sovereignty. Our hope can’t be tied to whether or not a circumstance or another person changes. Our hope must be tied to the unchanging promises of God. ~Lysa TerKeurst

WATCH

Netflix is King, apparently. From the creepy and extraordinarily well-written series Haunting of Hill House to the four-part series Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat I kinda love television again. Have you caught episodes of either of these fantastic series?

Yoga With Adrienne you guys. Check out her recent episode called, “Creating Space.” The boys and I did this one last Monday evening before dinner, and it was everything my body and spirit needed.

LISTEN

Oprah’s podcast had fallen off of my radar for a while, but a nudge from a running friend got me listening again. This episode featuring author Michael Pollan is just so good. It’s soothing, not preachy. And I especially appreciate his gardening comments.

A garden should make you feel you’ve entered privileged space — a place not just set apart but reverberant — and it seems to me that, to achieve this, the gardener must put some kind of twist on the existing landscape, turn its prose into something nearer poetry.

A Few Snapshots of Life Lately:

a quick little hike up near Keystone Lake recently
my two boys xoxoxo

 

zinnias slowly fading and still my favorite
At MOM & Dad’s house, Jessica & Chloe assembling egg rolls for Chloe’s birthday dinner, Dante & Grandma in the background. Such a fun family night! xoxo
Kenzie & Jessica playing “Rock Paper Scissors” and Dante, chillin.
My big life goal is now to build a ship at the farm, like from Monkey Island at our OKC Zoo, circa 1980. A life sized one, ok, not a replica. Ok thanks.
Batman & his costume rival on Halloween night, haha!
My Christmas cactus is thinking about blooming, and it is so pretty! This reminds me it’s time to get some paper-whites started in pots.

OK friends, are you cheering for anyone at the NYC Marathon today? I am! Her name is Kim! And for the elites I am rooting for Allie. I have a measly 9 mile progression run and weights to do myself, then we are off for a lunchtime hike and picnic lunch with Mickey and Kellie. We are, the four of us, working on something really special that I will share eventually. It feels so good. 

I wish you the happiest of Sundays. Enjoy this weather, all the gifts at your feet, and think of the very best possibilities. Feed them, the things you pray for, with your fertile imagination. Cultivate joy. It matters.

“Follow your heart’s knowing
rather than you mind’s guessing.”
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

daybreak today and the happy residue of our friday night gathering

Around 7:15 this morning Klaus and I went outside to feed everyone breakfast and to bear witness to daybreak. The inky black sky and diamond moon an hour earlier had whispered promises of an exceptional display, and we were not disappointed.

The eastern sky cracked open and gushed Technicolor all over the farm. All over the prairie grasses and wildflowers, the pine trees and blackjacks and zinnias and eerily decaying summer vines. Something I’ll never capture in a snapshot. That molten energy rushed through the treetops, scattered leaves both downhill and up, and transformed the pond into a pink and orange looking glass. The already dazzling crazy quilt of autumn leaves was for several moments downright metallic. Glittered. And still, the sun was just rising, barely.

 

Almost forty five minutes later, as I sat outside scribbling this in my notebook, broad gashes of light were streaming across the treetops and aiming west, downhill, and straight through me. It was all bold and direct, no longer diffused.  

Everyone around here seems to agree that this year’s autumn transformation has been a special one. We should probably thank the lush, mild summer and gentle cool down for that. The forests and gardens have been changing daily, hourly sometimes, like a twisting handheld kaleidoscope where each leaf is a chunk of tinted glass reflecting against so many connecting mirrors.

I want my eyes and my heart to be mirrors for all of it. I want to always remember how beautiful Oklahoma was in October of 2018.

One day soon we will wake up for our usual routines and see that the trees are bare and the ground is frozen. On that day we’ll find the beauty of course, but it will be different. For now, for today, we will soak up the color and thrumming life and all of this glorious transformation energy. And we’ll count it all joy because it’s so easy. It’s so available to us.

Last night four friends joined us at the farm for a cozy dinner and to finally discuss The Book of Joy. It was a small, organic mix of deeply thinking, tender, feeling people who had either already enjoyed the book or who were interested in it based on piecemeal reviews I had been posting on Facebook for months.

The Book of Joy is just so nourishing, you guys. I highly recommend this slim, straightforward work to people of every religion, every background, every station in life. And I strongly suggest you buy a copy to keep forever; because it seems to be the kind of book that you might read (or at least skim and review) at different times in life and each time glean new wisdom.

Our intimate discussion last night was everything my soul needed. I felt absolute Love in the midst of us all, and my brain kept sparking and coming to life every time someone shared their insights. The fact that my husband was there for it all and a strong part of the dialogue is a brand new joy for me. 

I have tried to make people aware that the ultimate source of happiness is simply a healthy body and a warm heart. ~Dalai Lama

Soon, in addition to so much great material from the book, I want us to explore Ubuntu, the African expression for humanity. “We become persons through other people.” It’s the notion that connectedness is part of our human design, our nature. The idea that we function best when we find other people and live in actual community. Especially as the holiday season opens wide, I would love to really internalize this concept.

Togetherness, intimacy, connection, community.

Daybreak for our hearts and minds and bodies and spirits. Eye candy and nourishment, both. Improving our perspectives and staying aware and very very present. Yes to all of it.

I am beyond excited to continue this dialogue with my husband and our friends and their loved ones, and also with my sister Angela and maybe our adult children, as well as with our friend Kiran, who is Hindu. The diversity of our favorite humans is as mesmerizing as Oklahoma’s autumn display right now.

“The way you see the world,
the meaning you give to what you witness,
changes the way you feel.”
~Jinpa
XOXOXOXO

“be gentle”

This reminder came to me in earnest on Saturday, but it has been circling for weeks: “Be gentle.” 

I saw it at a nearby thrift store while we shopped for a table lamp. The message stopped me in my tracks, the words scrawled in loopy handwriting with a blue grease pencil on this beautiful little dressing mirror, a pink vintage treasure, chalky to the touch and no doubt filled with memories. 

“Be Gentle,” the message pleads with passersby to not crash past and damage this.

I had been hearing and feeling this all month in lots of different ways, but I just kept crashing through every day.

Do you remember in that Jim Carrey movie Bruce Almighty when the silent homeless man holds so many cardboard signs, yet he goes largely unnoticed until finally the messages are unmistakably aimed at the main character? Ok. You’re with me now for sure.

Be Gentle, lady. Ease up.

It’s all okay.

Soften a little, breathe more deeply.

Touch everything more lightly.

Speak and think more slowly.

Gentle yourself,

like it’s a verb as much as an adjective.

Move into more delicacy.

I have a tendency to crash through my days with a weird sort of desperation, trying not to miss a thing, trying not to waste a drop of time or energy. Everything is so beautiful and I really do love my life so much, even the difficult parts. I’m learning to appreciate that particular sort of growth.

It’s all a positive panic, but still a panic. And too often that results in spreading my attention (my awareness) so thinly that I only manage to glance at my surroundings and opportunities. I miss out on the deep, nourishing soak that I crave. And that means that my people and animals and home and community miss out on my undivided attention. 

I move (and speak and think) so quickly that I become rough and handle breakable things carelessly. Things like dishes and garden tools and books and even relationships. 

When my grandpa was alive he would have said, “Settle, settle.” He would have hushed me lovingly, his tan and wrinkled hand parallel to the ground, pulsing steadily. He would have done so with a smile and maybe some soft laughter. 

Some gentleness is in order. Some stillness and attention. 

I definitely trust God enough to pause and take a deep breath. Choose to see and affirm that He is in control and that I can afford to slow down.

My zinnias and other summer flowers are fading slowly, very slowly, so I watch them obsessively. Every tiny change is fascinating. Beautiful.

 

Okay, this is precisely the motivation I needed today, friends. Kind of the opposite of how I usually revv my engines on Monday morning, ha! I hope it finds you in a state of bliss or inspiration or at least poised for exactly what your soul needs most.

Just a few days left of this fine transition month. I am so excited to see what November brings. But I will reign myself a little bit, gently, so it all comes more slowly. One glittering moment at a time. 

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast.
You Got to Make the Morning Last
~Simon & Garfunkel
XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: busy, happy, thankful week

Last weekend was a long one for us, four days of much needed deep refreshment, and this work week that wraps up today has been solid. It was solid, happy, productive, and good in many ways. Last week’s extended recharge has been put to good use. Here are some headlines from the Lazy W!

001 Dad’s Birthday!

My Dear Ol’ Dad turned 61 this week, and last night we all gathered at home for his requested dinner of, “ribeyes and hot fudge sundaes.”  Yum! I took exactly zero photos because we were having so much fun and my hands were always full. My sister Angela and I shopped and cooked dinner, then seven of us (all adults this time, which is rare) sat around the dining room table talking about DNA testing, conspiracy theories, some wild family history, and more. Everything. We feasted on food and love and excellent conversation. Jessica drove over, too, and we all had such a great time. Laugh upon laugh upon laugh! Happiest of birthdays, Dad, we love you so much!

002 Batmobile Progress

This morning, between meetings and court and who knows what else at the Commish, Handsome stole some time at a very cool Oklahoma City business to help blow the “bubbles” that will crown the Batmobile. And he invited me last minute to watch! So I dropped everything at the farm and drove to town. I haven’t told you much about this project yet, but I will soon.

Short version: It’s a fun and labor-intensive old-car restoration that will play a big role in our community outreach hopes and dreams. And it becomes more fun and exciting every week. When I say “bubbles” and “Batmobile” in the same sentence, do you picture exactly what I’m talking about? Cool.

003 Halloween Vibes

Thanks to an attic full of Halloween decorations and some pumpkin fun with friends last Saturday night, our house is festooned with all the seasonal details. We love it. And we are living our best hide-pounce-scream-recover life, too, especially after dark. So fun. Even the gardens are in on the spooky mood, and I take every opportunity to walk around the farm in galoshes and sweaters.

004 Aprons & Organization

Domestically, I have been working steadily to empty drawers and closets, purge, reorder, clean, and hold space everywhere I can find a bit of congestion. I crave space physically and emotionally. It feels amazing, like the best precursor to nesting. It’s that deep-breathing, roll-your-shoulders kind of private survey I like to do just as the seasons really trade. It feels great, and every day I find new things to do around here.

This afternoon my plate was clear enough to sew two fun apron designs that have been swimming in my head. (This one is for a very special local podcaster!)

005 Fat, Fuzzy Horses

In keeping with the season change, our farm-ily is fattened up and beginning to retain a certain amount of fluff and fuzz. It’s definitely time. The horses are eating all the hay I offer them (so much), and the chickens are feasting on more than the usual amount of herbs, rose hips, and grass clippings, plus all the average fare. Fingers crossed that they soon decided to lay some eggs.

Okay, that’s our little sum up from the week. Approximately one million other things happened, too, because life is full and beautiful. If our internet cooperates, I’ll have a post up sometime Saturday about what I’ve been reading, watching, and listening to. Good stuff.

Happy weekend!

Redeem the Time
Even the Weird Days & Moments
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

motivation monday (err tuesday ok): GOALS and VALUES

Intimidation or Inspiration?

All summer and especially last week, lots of my local friends and online acquaintances have been running stand-out races. Big marathons, big goals, fast times, strong bodies. Just amazing, motivating stuff. And after simmering in envy for too many weeks, this most recent rash of other people’s accomplishments has left me feeling great.

I finally feel relaxed about my personal timelines and not at all panicked. Studying, for example, how many years some people have spent working hard at their goals is a huge encouragement for me. I have time. And, I don’t mind admitting this, seeing the price some people pay in pursuit of those goals has been eye-opening. It helps bring my own values into focus.

As with anything in life, it helps to know that each of us has our own set of unique goals, and we should tailor them to our unique talents, lifestyles, and resources. It all just reinforces to me that I need to get honest with myself and focus on some goals that would bring me authentic joy while aligning with my core values and resources, which might differ from the people I have been emulating. I need to focus a little more on what I am doing with my own running and overall fitness, with less comparison to the rest of the world.

 

So I spent some time marinating these things and came up with a short list of goals and values that are genuine for me, in no particular order:

GOALS that are both measurable and long-term

  • Run a sub-4 marathon. I have no clue how close I am right now. And I am a little scared to find out. My focused training weeks this year went well, but I have not progressed much overall, just making small adaptations month to month. My mileage base is strong, so there’s that.
  • Also, qualify for Boston (for my age group that would be about 12 minutes faster than my sub-4 goal).
  • Run a half marathon really close to my brother’s time. (Dream big ok!!)
  • Finish this calendar year by running 2,018 miles EARLY. Take some downtime around Christmas. Only 424 miles to go!
  • Win the Olympics. Ha. And while I am at it, write a best selling novel so my husband can quit his job and we can spend the icy months at the beach. Ok.

VALUES, methods I want to observe along the journey:

  • Continue carving out time for lifting (baby) weights in order to feel really good, improve bodily function and strength and stay injury free. Even when it means sacrificing miles.
  • Evolve my diet safely and sustainably so I can live in a more fat adapted state (Primal? Maybe?) and curtail diabetic symptoms. 
  • Eat well (I feel my best when I eat great food and enough of it) but live life fully with my people, never dieting, not “fueling” constantly or pretending to be in a running vacuum. Perfectionism is a pitfall. And I am so tired of trying to lose weight. I just want to feel good every day and trust that healthy habits work in my favor, long-term. I love pizza and cookies once in a while. That has to fit in.
  • Overall health and balance, pursuing a good, ongoing sense of well being without overuse injuries or emotional burnout. 
  • Keep my running in harmony with the rest of our busy life, not living constantly in a strictly scheduled “training” mode, which leads to burnout and imbalance with friends and family. This means maybe one run per weekend right now, knowing that could change once marathon training starts.
  • Schedule more excursion runs with friends and family. “Iron sharpens iron” and also, it always turns out to be so fun. (I generally resist because I feel slower than everyone, I always have to pee more often haha, and I definitely treasure the alone time. But social runs are good for us too.)
  • Races are exciting and I am enticed by the competition, but they are less important to me over time, in the scope of things, so long as running and other healthy activities can remain a part of my life. I recognize that I need to spend less time and energy agonizing over how many races and fun events I am missing. 
  • Maintain the JOY of running!! I think anything we do for too long at an almost obsessive level can become work, and I want running to be a joyful part of my life for the rest of my life, if possible. So I am happy to allow some breathing room.

To remember my friend Robin’s advice, it’s great to look to others for inspiration, but once that begins to feel like intimidation, it’s time to look away.

Look at a baby kangaroo instead. 

Wish me luck and maybe some wisdom as I sort out exactly how all of this translates to weekly and monthly plans. I definitely do better with at least a skeleton plan and short-term goal or two.

Speedbump:

Something funny is that this morning after I drafted this blog post, I headed to the lake for a speed workout. As I was parking my car, my phone started flashing and buzzing tornado warnings, and the sky turned black. Instantly. I drove the nine miles home through blinding rain and straight-line winds, got the animals safe and happy, and watched the weather on television for two hours instead of working out. I was mad for a while but was able to pull out if it, reminding myself that this is life. Life (and certainly weather) does not revolve around my plans for the day. Also? It’s fine. It really is fine.

Someone in one of my running groups recently posted that an altered workout is actually good for us, because not only does it build mental tenacity; it also keeps our bodies guessing a little bit and makes us stronger in new ways.

Ok. Over and out. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about running goals and values and how I worry about missing out on stuff. 

It’s Fine!!
XOXOXO