Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Are You Going to Scarborough Fair?

July 23, 2013

   When you just now read that blog post title, did you sing the words to yourself? If so, then you probably followed with “Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme…” And chances are good that you already know this blog post is all about the herb garden. Thank you, Simon and Garfunkel, for setting my most favorite domestic activity to music.

   My herb garden is a paisley-shaped piece of earth located right outside my kitchen sink window, between the house and the swimming pool. You pass it when walking downhill to either the big garden or the bonfire. It’s the casual transition between what we call the “front yard” and the “smokehouse yard.” It’s easily the smallest growing effort anywhere on the farm, in terms of square feet, yet it has captured my heart and my imagination in the biggest way.

   It has captured Mia’s heart, too. He and his feathered friends spend many hours here every day. They meander through the oregano They nibble the grassy edges but never the cultivated plants. Momma Goose sometimes nests in the basil. Sometimes the chickens take shelter behind the box woods. It’s a small but lively place!

********************

   I have wanted a magical garden in this spot ever since we moved to the farm in late 2007. I spent the first few years just getting settled and being a Mom and, you know, thinking about the future garden. I daydreamed and visualized various garden designs every time I looked out the kitchen sink window. WHICH WAS SEVEN MILLION TIMES A DAY.

   I think all I had ever tried growing here were a few box wood shrubs I dug up for free from a neighbor, a rose bush, and maybe a handful of red cannas. Oh, sunflowers and poison ivy too. But you know how they basically grow themselves.

   Finally, on a cold day this past February, I started bringing wheelbarrow loads of manure and rotting leaves to this spot. The rose bush was dying a slow death from Rose Rosette’s disease; the thrifted box woods were leggy and sparse; and the earth was not even a tiny bit yielding. Breaking it up with love was my only hope. So I just piled it on. For a month or so this hard, dormant stretch of the farm received several inches of organic matter as well as the full force of my greedy imagination.

   This might not be so pretty to look at, but if you have ever busted clay with organic matter, then you know how exciting this is! And if like me you love the smell of rotting leaves and old manure on a cold day, then you can imagine the joy of this scene. This was in February, 2013.
     So for several weeks the bare earth was covered with stuff that would miraculously change it into a loamy and fertile oasis. My spades were put to good use, turning and excavating so very much crabgrass and so very many weeds. Eventually the garden centers opened for the spring season, and I purchased a flat of baby herbs plus seven million seed packets. They sat on my dining room table until it was finally time to plant. Tiny Mr. T kept me motivated.
   
   The chickens helped the process along by scratching the dirt, eating grubs, and generally keeping the place cheerful. 
   Once the first plants were in the dirt and watered, I had that anticlimax feeling. I sat and stared at my Herb Garden of Discontent and continued to daydream about its future glory. I decided to be patient with its slow progress and decided that even if we didn’t yield enough this year to sell at the local farmers’ market, that I could still love and nurture this garden in small, daily ways.
********************
   Gradually, day by day and week by week, things have improved. The heavy spring rains flooded out some of the annuals, but overall the herb garden in thriving. 
   Last week I got serious about weeding and realized there is still plenty of available real estate in this area. It happens. I coach myself to see it as potential instead of lacking.
   
   After pulling and digging the weeds, I groomed everything and surrounded every plant with layers of newspaper then watered deeply. Hey… don’t you love the way your hands smell after grooming herbs?  Man. Best smell ever. Basil, sage, oregano, marigold, tomato, chamomile, rosemary, mint… Not an unpleasant fragrance among them. Sometimes I rub mint leaves on my neck.
   Eventually everything got a layer of mulch, too. And by the way I am a recent mulch convert. If you don’t use it, you really truly should. It does everything it’s supposed to do: Control weeds, retain moisture, and look snazzy.
   The herb garden contains more than herbs, too. I am growing surplus tomatoes, roses, zinnias, and watermelon. Also several flowers and vines just on the edges. This is a little rose bush I planted around Easter. I recently thought maybe we had another round of Rose Rosette’s disease happening because of the thicker, fuzzier branches pushing around the garden… But no worries! It’s just a wild watermelon vine! : ))
   So thanks for stopping by. The prettier this garden grows, the more I’d like you to stop by in real life, to sit in our mismatched lawn furniture, talk about everything worthwhile, and watch the dragonflies. To smell the herbs. 
   Do you have an herb garden? I would love love love to see photos! Please feel free to share them  here on Facebook. Have a beautiful day!
“Come to my garden.. 
 I want my roses to see you.”
 ~unknown
xoxoxoxo
  

2 Comments
Filed Under: gardening, herbs

Unsolicited Advice: Marital Edition Part Two,

July 16, 2013

   Hello again! Thanks so much for all of the sweet happy anniversary wishes and for reading this fun series! Handsome and I surely appreciate it. If you haven’t yet seen Part One of Unsolicited Advice: Marital Edition, you can read it here.

   I have another installment for you today, but first, a little comic floating around the internet that pretty well sums things up…

   Right? Perfect bottom line, I think. Solid advice if ever I heard it. Wish I had thought to just say THAT before giving you 24 pieces of advice. : )

   Okay. Part Two. These bits of marital wisdom are not necessarily grouped into themes, but I think it’s fun to see some parallels still. Again, we did not consult each other as we wrote.

********************

   He Said:  Love her quirks. These small idiosyncrasies are the things that will bring a smile to your face for the rest of your life.

   She Said:  Take lots of photos, write some journals of your memories, and surround yourselves with those positive, loving, laughter-bringing memories. You might be surprised what you would forget otherwise. And not just the big stuff; take stock of the mundane things too. Not every day has to be a show-stopper. The ordinary days add up, and reflecting on and celebrating them together now and then is wonderful. Later, when crises come (they will), you can take care of business but crave that calm normalcy together. You will know that your foundation is enough. At hectic, stressful times, Handsome and I have often laughed after crying, saying, We just want a quiet day at home with the animals and each other, and a home coked meal, is that so wrong? And in this difficult season without the kids, we have thousands of photos to remind us of what life was like with them. Not that we forget exactly, but sometimes pain and waiting have a way of dulling the old joys. And tactile memories help tremendously.

   He Said:  Get her a car that makes her happy, even if she doesn’t task for it. She should ride in style with a smile! Listen, guys, don’t put your girl in a minivan and expect her to feel like a sports car…

   She Said:  Learn how to live cheaply. Be the funnest date you can be, while spending the least. Sometimes cash will flow more freely than others, of course, but it’s always good to know how to entertain yourselves without a huge monetary sacrifice. It’s wonderful to know how to make up games, explore new places, and enjoy all kinds of entertainment on a shoestring. I can honestly say that we have had just as much fun and romance on cheap, spontaneous outings close to home (or at home) than on expensive dates in other cities.

   He Said:  Love her arts, whatever they are… Promote her to do them often, as they make her the woman you fell in love with. This one is so so easy for me, as most of my girl’s arts center around her creating a beautiful home, a tasty meal, or fun!

   She Said:  Make regular, enthusiastic attempts to have fun doing stuff that he loves. I know that to some people this sounds old fashioned and cheesy, but it’s not. I’m not talking about being a Stepford follower- type wife; I’m talking about legitimately involving yourself in whatever it is that makes this man you LOVE tick. We have made some of our best friends while showing cars, which is something I would probably never think of doing without him. And I have learned a ton of interesting stuff by paying attention when he gets excited about a car or a new project. If instead I left him to his own devices, just sort of dismissed him instead of accepting his welcome into this fun world, then I would miss that expression of little-boy joy he gets on his face when he talks cars. I do not understand the notion of limiting each other just because you don’t organically share a passion. Give yourself a chance to see things through his eyes, and do not discourage him.

His first minutes behind the wheel as owner of his Cobra, a lifelong dream.
I will never forget the look on his cute face!

********************

   Okay friends, that’s what I have for you today. It’s getting close to dinnertime, and I have some big Alfredo-flavored plans. Please feel free to share your own inspired marital advice here or on Facebook or by email! I would love to her what works for other couples.

Love is a Verb
xoxoxoxo

3 Comments
Filed Under: anniversary, love, Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited Advice: Marital Edition Part I, the Common Ground

July 15, 2013

   Hey friends! It’s Anniversary Week around here, so as promised it’s time for our first installment of Unsolicited Advice: Marital Edition. I announced this funny little project with my ornery tongue in the corner of my doubtful cheek but have since enjoyed some surprisingly positive feedback from you guys! So I hope this is good.

   Please remember… What follows, whether silly or serious,  are OUR experiences, OUR lessons learned, OUR slants on life… All based on the twelve years Handsome and I have been negotiating the marital waters. What works for us may have disastrous consequences for you. Then again, we may have cracked the code. You tell me!

   Okay. First, it bears mentioning that Handsome and I wrote our 12 pieces of advice separately, independently, flying solo and untethered by consultation with each other. And we each could easily have written far more than twelve little things. And each of those twenty-four things could have been books! Because, seriously. You learn through mistakes, and mistakes have stories attached. REALLY GOOD stories, sometimes…

   We then thought it would be fun to see how much of our thinking overlapped with each other. There was plenty. So to start our advice column tonight, a little common ground:

1. Grass is Greenest Where You Water It.
   She Said: Do what you can to become an expert on your husband. Learn everything about his needs, wants, preferences, dreams, goals, strengths, and weaknesses. Then pour all of your energy into loving him and caring for him in the ways HE needs you to, not necessarily the ways you read about or assume you should. Hey, while you’re at it, read Love Languages. It’s commercial, sure, but pretty enlightening. Speak his languages whenever you can and don’t make the mistake of expecting your languages to be the same. Become the world’s expert on him.
   He Said: Make sure her needs and desires are met, because you want to, not because you fear what may happen. A woman in love will make your dreams come true, so you should do everything in your power to return the favor…

2. Fun is Not Extra Credit.
   She Said: Seek adventure together! In every sense, both privately and as world-citizens, actively hunt for fun experiences, routine-busters, laughter, games, silliness, thrills, and more. Also… Sex and romance are vital parts of life. Neglecting them even for a short time will cause both of you to suffer in surprising ways. It’s totally natural, and it’s also one of the best ways to express yourself freely. So if you feel guilty for craving or enjoying fun with your guy, stop. And if you’re neglecting him, also… stop. Hubba-hubba.
   He Said:  Find things you both can enjoy, and do them often. There is no greater anticipation than looking forward to something fun together! Travel together and see the world. Build more experiences together than you could ever have apart. Sharing your lives is what makes your bond stronger. I could never imagine enjoying new things without her to share them with right then!

3. ‘Cause You Gotta Havva Faitha-Faitha-Faitha!
   She Said:  Trust. Yes, like respect, everyone likes to say that trust is earned, and it sort of is. But sometimes what a marriage needs most is that bold flavor of trust that is issued ahead of time, that trust that is given freely more as an act of faith than as a reward for some kind of behavior. (This is something I am learning right now, by the way, because personal insecurity is huge for me. And Handsome pays the price for it more than he deserves.) Trust your guy regardless of what people outside your relationship do or say.
   He Said:  Be honest at all costs. Nothing hurts a woman in love like the feeling of deceit. If you love her, you will share your thoughts and feelings.

4. You as a Couple Are Not an Island
   She Said:  Be good to each other’s families even when it’s difficult. Maybe especially when it’s difficult, because there will be days like that. Extend yourselves and maintain friendships with all kinds of people. Handsome and I have been so blessed in so many unexpected ways by getting close to a variety of interesting people. We feel so blessed to love each others families and love all of our friends! And I have learned so much about my husband in all of this. I can’t even imagine not having our loved ones close to our marriage, even as much as we definitely prize our intimacy and time alone.
   He Said:  Have a family. You will never fully appreciate the depth of your wife’s love until you see her mold the lives of little ones she loves more than her own breath.

   So there is our beginning! Four areas where Handsome and I had similar wisdom to share. I hope at least part of it is interesting to you, and I really hope you’ll share your thoughts and reactions! As with everything else in life, I have had so much fun learning a little more about him with this exercise.

   Part Two soon!

Happy Anniversary Baby
xoxoxoxo


 

7 Comments
Filed Under: anniversary, love, Unsolicited Advice

Announcing Unsolicited Advice, Marital Edition

July 12, 2013

   You loooooovve receiving unsolicited advice, right? Especially about really important parts of life, like marriage? You love it when virtual strangers tell you what you’re doing wrong and how you can do it better, just like them, right? You basically do cartwheels when this happens? Thought so. And do I have a treat for you.

   Handsome and I are on the brink of celebrating our twelfth (FYI Margi I spelled that right the first time) wedding anniversary. And along the vein of how I celebrated my 39th birthday a few months ago, when I so generously burdened you fine souls with thirty-nine pieces of unsolicited life advice… In case you missed it, you can read Part One,  Part Two, and Part Three here… This week Handsome and I will be giving you twelve pieces of Unsolicited Marital Advice. Each. So that’s twenty-four nuggets of wisdom you didn’t even know you needed. For free.

   I know. It’s generous of us. Just hold your applause until the end, ok?

   The advice is forthcoming. In the mean time, I would just like to say in an official capacity that I desperately wish summertime would slow down. Like, seriously.

  • I want more months in the garden, just like this. 
  • I want more afternoons in the pool. 
  • I want more sunsets at nine p.m. 
  • More time with friends. 
  • More books read slowly in the hammock. 
  • More romance. 
  • More freedom. 
  • More road trips and frivolous adventures.
  • More basil. 
  • Sunburns. 
  • Blockbuster movies.
  • More of letting my hair dry naturally and then definitely not hot-rolling it. 
  • More of that smell of Handsome working on his cars in the sun. 
  • More sweaty horses. 
   I am madly in love with Summer 2013 for a million reasons. 

   Okay, fine friends. I hope you have a luscious day set up for yourselves, with a stellar weekend to follow. I hope your heartaches are manageable, your fears easily surrendered to Love. I hope you have all the energy and motivation you need to chase your dreams. Not tomorrow. Today.

   Stay tuned for Unsolicited Marital Advice!

“Be in love with your life.
 Every minute of it.”
 ~Jack Kerouac
 xoxoxoxo

3 Comments
Filed Under: anniversaries, love, marriage, Unsolicited Advice

An Ode to Llamas in 12 Lines

July 11, 2013

I love our llamas so dang much.

They also love each other like crazy.
Llama babies are the cutest. They’re called crias. 
Or sweet potato pies.

Llamas are faster than cheetahs who drink espresso.

They stare at you.

Sometimes incessantly, unnervingly.

They are suckers for metal buckets of sweet grain.

Other times they explore dark, mysterious places 
like cracked open barn doors.

Llamas are natural; llamas are good.

Not everybody has ’em…

But everybody should!

I love our llamas so dang much.

Linking up today with the very sweet and clever Mama Kat… enjoying the prompt to write a blog post in just twelve lines.

10 Comments
Filed Under: animals, llamas, Mama Kat, writers workshops

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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