Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Wonderfully Disheveled

December 13, 2011

   The morning sun gleams through the east window, gilding the remains of last night’s dinner party. Furniture sits in odd places, having been scooted into spontaneous pairings for old friends to whisper secrets and for new friends to get acquainted. The fireplace is void of flames now but overflowing with warm ashes. On the wood floor I notice errant napkins, crumbs, and beautiful smudges from spilled drinks. I walk through the glorious chaos to the kitchen, where the only clean spot is what space has been cleared for morning coffee, which waits for me hot and fragrant and loyal.

   After a party I am always tempted to leave things in diarray for a while, so we can visually soak up the treasured vibrations of friendship and love. Sometimes I am more anxious to get photos of the aftermath than of the event’s set up. I cannot agree that a good party ever leaves a home spotless, whether hosted for children or adults. The mess is a small trophy for me.
   Since daily life goes on, the cleaning must ensure. But I don’t think of it as removing something dirty or righting some wrong done to my home. Instead, while touching each item I try to gently press the good memories into our surroundings. While pacing through the affected rooms, collecting dirty dinner plates and drinking glasses, scooting couches and chairs back to their every day positions, and fluffing up plants, I imprint into our domestic conscience the laughter and energy of every one of our beloved friends and family members. As I wipe clean the smudged tables I am actually polishing them with the smiles we traded the night before.
   We feel so lucky to be surrounded by good friends. They make us wonderfully disheveled.
The writer’s prompt this Tuesday 
was to discuss “Cleaning House” in 300 words or less, 
without offering up Heloisian tutorials..
This is what came to mind.
 

11 Comments
Filed Under: daily life, homekeeping, writers workshops

Pink Stuff

November 24, 2011

   Before we go any further, let’s all remind each other and agree that this spot here on the internet is not a food blog. Anytime recipes appear here it is either because they hold special, personal significance to us or I am worried I will lose the recipe and need a way to reference it in the future.
   
   Such is the case with Pink Stuff, on both counts.
   Earlier this week I had a mild meltdown because I could not put my hands on the list of ingredients for this old family recipe. So I desperately fell on my Mom’s mercies and while I waited on her reply I scoffed heartily at my little brother for suggesting I Google it. 
   Google an old family recipe that Grandma Stubbs either invented or graciously received from her own grandmother who probably invented it, are you kidding me? WOW. Some people have no appreciation for the old ways. Seriously. 
   
   Sooo…
   Turns out our family recipe was all over the internet. Strangers have been making this, you guys! I felt so, so, so on display. So infringed upon. What’s next, hidden cameras behind two way mirrors? A reality show against our will?
   Anyway, this recipe is as easy as pie. It is easier than pie, actually, because there is no crust to make perfectly and there is no baking. All you need are a can opener, a big bowl, and the ability to calmly fold ingredients into a pink frothy dream while wistfully reminiscing of family holidays past. And several hours of refrigeration, ideally.
A note about pecans: 
They are crazy expensive this year, 
thanks either to the drought or Sasquatch. 
This photo represents a gallon of gas.
Five Bonus points for the first person to notice 
what’s missing from this ingredients photo!
Yep. Whipped Topping.
   One year, I was either nineteen or thirty-one, I can’t remember, I forgot the whipped topping entirely. All the rich, sweet, crunchy, colorful things were included, but not the fluffiness. I showed up to the family feast with a bowl of overly gloopy pink sludge that nobody could enjoy. That is a major disappointment, because every year only one person makes this for everybody, and everybody looks forward to it in a big way. And we only have it at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is illegal to make it at other times of the year.
   Funny thing last night was that the whole time I was chopping pecans then snapping photos of the ingredients, I was like, “Huh. Something’s definitely missing.” WHEW! No sludge this year. Only stuff.
   Onward.
Here is what you need:
  1 can cherry pie filling
  1 can crushed pineapple
  1 can sweetened condensed milk
  1 cup coconut (I am pretty sure either kind works fine, I use sweetened flaked)
  1 cup pecans (I used more than that, just whatever)
  1 container whipped topping, thawed
   Gently fold it, baby. Pour, layer, stir, fold, blend the colors, taste it, lick your spoons, give the empty cans to lucky husbands and parrots in your house, do a little dance, make a little love, groove the easiness and luxury of it all. 
   Now wrap the bowl tightly with plastic wrap and slip it safely in the refrigerator overnight or for at least four hours. 
This sample bite looks one step away from gross 
only because it hasn’t set up yet.
Later today it will look firm and fluffy and perfect.
But I promise you it already tastes perfect.
WAIT.
Why did I buy tiny marshmallows?
And who is silently judging me for buying the store brand?
   To all of my far flung siblings and to my children who won’t be with us today to eat this and so many other great dishes, you will be missed. Missed so much I have already been getting all teary and chin-trembly about it. But don’t worry, I’ll happily eat your shares of Pink Stuff. And I’ll give thanks for having each of you in my life.
   To those of you who I am fortunate enough to see today, prepare to be attack-hugged. My heart is full and rich and pulsing with life because of the incredible people near me. I love each one of you and wish with all of my heart that Grandma Stubbs could be here to see how big and beautiful our family has grown.
As far as I’m concerned, she still invented Pink Stuff.
xoxoxo
Mama's Losin' It

6 Comments
Filed Under: memories, recipes, writers workshops

Family Meals a Favorite

November 10, 2011

   Mama Kat certainly has a way of begging bittersweet memories lately. 
This week I am answering about my favorite place to eat as a child. 
This fresh hell, on the heels of so much reflecting on legacy and empty nests.
I cannot help but wonder how my own children will remember our family meals, 
whether any of our tables and traditions over the years 
will ever slip into focus as “favorite,” 
but that’s not the question today.
   Growing up, as I may have already mentioned, Mom & Dad made regular family dinners a priority. We encircled our solid wood dining room table every single night. Dad sat in the same chair for most of my childhood, maybe all of it until he became a Grandpa, a turning point for so many wonderful and hilarious reasons. 
   Before eating, we always prayed as a family. During Advent and Lent we lit candles and took turns reading from devotional books. From time to time Mom would have a new baby for us to call brother or sister, and that baby always sat in the world’s most beautiful carved wooden high chair with an over-your-head table tray. Many a bowl of marinara sauce spaghetti has been painted onto that high chair.
   We ate delicious, healthy meals, often crafted from leftovers, and we drank whole milk, never soda or even tea. To this I feel we all owe our basically admirable eating habits. Basically. More or less.
   This family dinner business was not negotiable, unless we chose to watch a VHS tape or a laser disk movie together, as a complete family. Also, those movie dinners were always on the weekend, never a school night, and they provided me a whole other happy chapter of childhood.
   As adolescence approached I gradually became aware that our family was unique among my friends, that most people ate fast food and drank unlimited quantities of soda and did so in front of televisions. In their own rooms. For a season I was rude about it to my sweet, steady parents. It was several years before I appreciated how much effort this daily ritual required and even longer before I glimpsed the investment Mom and Dad were making into our hearts, night after night and year after year.
***************
   Thankfully our family still gathers at home for dinners now and then, though of course now the crowd is significantly larger. I suppose we could separate into smaller groups throughout the house, but we never do. We just keep adding chairs and squeezing in on Dad’s handmade wooden bench until everyone is wedged in  front of a skinny piece of table real estate and our silverware is overlapping. 
   We are loud and silly, but manners are paramount. More or less. We pass food to and fro. We use cloth napkins and Mom’s colorful collection of plates. We give small, pretty plates to the kids and try to help them eat what they don’t want so nobody gets in trouble.
   With this larger family crowd we all know that whoever chooses to sit in the chair nearest the kitchen will inevitably be asked to go fetch just one more thing, approximately nineteen thousand times per meal, so we all flood the furthest posts first.
   Once again I look around at my adult friends and realize how blessed I am to have this gift in my life, this dinner table, these loving parents who are always eager to feed us. Not many people my age still get to eat in their childhood home, at the same beautiful table, with both of their parents and all of their siblings. 
It was so easy to pick my favorite.
xoxoxoxo

5 Comments
Filed Under: memories, writers workshops

Humble Pansies, Happy Thoughts

November 3, 2011

Autumn blooms, bright and clean, facing the sun 
calmly, quietly, with perfect optimism.
Your freshness and vivid colors inspire me.
Despite the cold air, beneath the wind and mist, 
you sit patiently, needing very little.
Thank you for your simplicity. 
Thank you for reminding me
 that beauty resides in every little humble space.

Mama's Losin' It

4 Comments
Filed Under: daily life, gardening, homekeeping, writers workshops

I’ve Done Stuff

October 27, 2011

   Sometimes I look at my life and feel like I need to dig a little deeper, 
experience more, contribute more, learn more, etc.  
Mama Kat’s writing prompt this week caught my attention, then, 
as an invitation to list a coupla dozen things I’ve done.  
Inventories are groovy.  
   After brainstorming a bit, I gave myself a chuckle and relaxed.  
Because anyone who has busted out her front teeth THIS many times
 is living a full life indeed.
Mama’s Losin’ It
1.  The first thing I ever did in this life was become the child of two of the world’s most humble, generous, loving human beings you will ever meet.  I was child Numero Uno.  They must have really liked me, because then they had four more.  I consider myself their prototype.
2.  Then, around the age of nine, I experienced the first chapter of my tooth breaking saga.  Gym class (we called it P.E.) was indoors that day, in the school auditorium where the floors were glossy, polished hardwood.  Hard.  The whole group was instructed to do the “Duck Walk,” which is pretty much the most awkward, humiliating, and as we would all soon learn, DANGEROUS type of animal impression an uncoordinated young girl can attempt.  Allow me to illustrate.  You squat down, feet shoulder width apart.  Wrap your arms around the outside of your ankles.  Now start “waddling.”  Go ahead and quack passionately while doing this, it really ups the authenticity.  So…  that’s all your supposed to do.  But I took it a step further and crashed forward onto the polished hardwood floor.  It was hard.  My arms were still tangled around my legs, and I was stuck in a horrible pretzel wreck in the middle of about thirty screaming, laughing dis-compassionate classmates.  Oh, and my front tooth was stuck in the hardwood floor.  Hard, except now for the indentation left by my tooth.  I needed help untangling my limbs and extricating my face from the floor.  That was break number one as I remember it.  It hurt a lot.  I remember my nose throbbing and stinging, but I had no idea that sensation that would reappear so often in life.  (Cue scary, suspenseful music…)
3.  Let’s skip ahead not quite twenty years, when I fell in love a city other than my hometown.  I’d heard of the phenomenon but it seemed silly to me, overly romanticized, until I first saw New Orleans.  This is truly a magical place, a sensory feast and a vortex of history, imagination, and possibility.  
4.  I have chosen a favorite teacher in my mind based partly on her penmanship. 
5.  I have been to Italy with my Mom and a church choir.  My purpose was to sing and tour religiously significant places, not learn the language and chase carbs.  Although I did not avoid carbs necessarily.  And I etched a treble clef into a marble garbage can casing, thus leaving my mark.
We’re jumping around a lot chronologically, by the way.
6.  Just a few years ago, I saw a tornado pass by my kitchen window, just about nine feet from where I stood.  I get goosebumps when I remember that.  Growing up in Oklahoma, tornadoes are the real deal, but they’re also fairly commonplace.  It wasn’t until several hours later that I understood how close I was to danger.  Whew.
7.  I have cried real, sobbing tears after riding the Superman ride at Six Flags Over Texas.  Don’t do it.  It is awful.  I frightened a ten year old boy sitting next to me.  Handsome was so proud, he took many, many pictures of the salty, wet aftermath.
8.  Back to grade school for chapter two in my tooth breaking saga.  I was walking backwards down a corridor, not realizing I was also walking at a diagonal.  When I turned to go forward, I was too close to the painted concrete wall and S-M-A-C-K!  I lost another front tooth.  That familiar throbbing, stinging nose pain.  And a bloody mouth.  Again.
9.  I have accidentally colored my hair a shimmering shade of aqua blue.  My youngest daughter, ever the cheerleader and sweet comforter of nervous people, tried to convince me I looked like a mermaid and it wasn’t that bad.  By the way, the magic mermaid combination seems to be bleaching your hair to a summer blonde color then immediately washing with really cheap, green, apple scented shampoo.  You’re welcome.  Enjoy.  Oh, if you do this for Halloween this weekend, please send me photos!
10.  I have walked with Handsome all night in Las Vegas, falling more deeply in love, taking in the lights and the sights, and ending the trek at Denny’s for a very early breakfast.  Or a very late dinner, depending on your perspective.
11.  I have bottle fed baby buffalo and raised one to a thriving and bouncy age so far of three and a half.
12.  I have given birth to the world’s most beautiful, most sensitive, most talented girls.  Every day I attempt to write about each of these young women, and every day the words fall flat and hollow compared to my love for them.  Sixteen and then fourteen years of motherhood are enough to fuel a lifetime of writing, yet I feel completely unworthy to relay the experience.  If you know these girls, then you understand the awe I feel.  If you do not then you have missed out on two world changers, two absolute gifts of love and beauty and grace.
13.  I once lost a front tooth cap by eating a seemingly innocuous apple.  I took a bite, withdrew said apple from my mouth, and discovered my tooth cap wedged happily in the sweet, white fruity flesh.  No pain this time, just more groaning from my ever patient parents.  More dentist attention.
14.  Handsome took me snorkeling in Mexico twice, in Texas a few times, and in Florida too.  On the second Mexico trip, I barely missed stepping on a sizable stingray that was buried in the sand.  I also crashed gracelessly against a stand of sharp coral reef and almost needed a band-aid.  And according to Handsome’s report, a four foot shark was eyeballing me underwater.  Still, the Superman ride was scarier.
15.  I have feared for the life of both of my children during gut wrenching medical emergencies, and I witnessed every time the power of prayer and the miracle working Love of God.  We are undeserving of His mercy and grace, but that’s why it’s mercy and grace.  Not a day passes that I am not aware of how blessed we are to still have both of the girls with us, even if they aren’t with us.  The memory of these miracles, this thankfulness, is often the only thing left to fuel hope for the future.  But it’s enough.
16.  With my friend Tina, I started a book club this past January, unsure of where it would take us but excited to explore new territory.  Since January, our group has grown from four to over twenty, and we have devoured seven books.  I don’t mind admitting a little pride over this.
17.  Age twelve.  While swimming underwater, eyes shut, I did a back flip.  I was pretending to be a sea lion. Normal?  Sure.  I swam S-M-A-C-K into the concrete wall of the pool and lost another front tooth.  Incidentally, I was in jeans and a button up shirt, not a swimsuit, because it was a spontaneous trip into the cold water.  That may or may not have impacted my sense of balance underwater, but regardless it’s seared in my memory.  I emerged from the pool, clothes heavy with dripping chlorine water, toothless and bloody.  That was a long drive home to my dental-bill paying parents.  Have I ever mentioned to you how patient they are?
18.  I have been a working mom and a stay at home mom, and now I am a mom at home whose kids are not here.  These are vastly different experiences, and on days when I can emotionally afford the perspective, I am glad to have had all three in my lifetime.  It does not make me an expert, but it certainly deepens my compassion for all kinds of women.
19.  Just recently I started this blog.  Again, not sure about the path or purpose exactly, but the writing has been cathartic.  And I have already met some fantastic people!   
20.  Once at Camp Cimmarron I was watching my friends play a tense game of table soccer.  Fusbol, as some people call it.  Their opponents were, in my mind, vile acting and way too aggressive.  They were the older girls who got to sleep in the train cars, not the cabins, and they wore too much mascara for their age.  As the game progressed and the unfairness of their tactics increased, something snapped inside me.  My friends were being threatened, though I could not have articulated at that time by what.  Without warning or explanation, I reached over the edge of the table and snatched the dirty white ball from the game.  I clearly remember the meanest girl glaring at me with her tortoise shell snap barrettes.  Everyone was shocked, including me.  I’m not proud of that.  Well, maybe a little.
21.  I discovered that True Love is real and that it is worth the search and the wait.  It is also worth the attention and time needed to grow and strengthen.
22.  February of this year marks the most recent traumatic event in my dental saga.  I was piling hay for our big animals and did the classic cartoon thing. I stepped on a rake.  A long, metal rake with a bright red handle.  It happened in a split second, just crack.  No more front tooth.  Again.  Again with the bloody mouth and throbbing, stinging nose.  Again with the phone calls and appointments and impressions and caps and laughing gas.  Again with the awkward smiles and hand-to-mouth laughing.
It’s raining at the farm right now.  The breeze is cool.
  The animals are hushed and sleepy, and I could make coffee 
and eat toast with pumpkin butter for hours.  
These are excellent writing conditions.  
Unfortunately, I have a dentist appointment this morning, 
so I really should close up shop now.  I’m not even kidding.  
This tooth thing continues to overshadow my life.

4 Comments
Filed Under: memories, writers workshops

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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