Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Random Tuesday Evening Thoughts

   My mind is swimming with thoughts this evening, boiling even, in a very pleasant way. By contrast the Oklahoma skies are dark, damp, and heavy, so these kinetic thoughts are comforting. The silent headlines are so undulating and cryptic, though, that I can barely organize my sentences. I really can’t be sure whether any of this is even connected, but I feel like we’re on the precipice of something big in our little family, so stamping the moment might be a good idea.
  
   Peace in the midst of a storm is a funny thing to me. Although no circumstances have changed for us, in fact only more time has accumulated with difficulty unchanged, I feel inexplicably better and on a cellular level. Far more assured in my heart that not only are things going to be alright; things are exactly as they should be right now, including the pain and questions. These are a vital part of life, after all, and I should not hope to be exempt from the testing. None of our dreams have been abandoned. Of course I have questions and moments of fear, but that steady, glowing peace is real. I trust that God is in control and I know that He is nothing but Love and Mercy.

   The weather here begs a lot of attention, by the way. From meteorological records broken to prophecies  teased at and environmental issues debated, things will be blogged. Soon.

   I have boasted quite a bit about my husband on here but am now privately enjoying a renaissance of love for him and suppose I can share that too. Deep, resounding love. One of the surprises provided by ten years of marriage is the repeating opportunity to see him in a different light. I watch him face challenges and mature and refine himself as a man. I learn things about myself through his eyes. And I renew the most important convictions between us.

These are Handsome’s strong, capable hands comforting a baby guinea. 
Earlier that day these hands had dealt with crisis after crisis at work
and balanced the best interests of many people for whom he cares sincerely.
Later that night these hands were mine.

   Legacy is in the air right now, due in part to the seasonal shift and the winter calendar being heavily laden with family traditions. But I know it’s also a result of so much thinking about and praying for the girls. My sister and her children are still grieving unspeakable loss, too, and words to comfort them escape me. They will certainly struggle with legacy for many decades, but they will also receive Grace when they need it most.  
   My grandparents are with me a lot these days too, further underscoring the theme of legacy. Tonight my  cousin Emily and I shared a brief but powerful exchange about childhood memories of our shared grandmother. I was struck by the simple aspects of Grandma’s daily life that ended up being her legacy.

The top frame contains a pencil and marker drawing by my Grandma. 
She was a beautiful, olive skinned, eclectic woman 
who made the most dramatic vase arrangements from just wildflowers and weeds. 
She would probably laugh that so many of us in the family 
keep these doodles and treat them like relics, 
but to me this crispy, yellowed sheet of paper is a reminder 
to live simply and draw beauty from common things.

   Outside my kitchen window is a section of earth destined to be an herb garden! My very own potagerie, something purposefully different from the larger vegetable garden out back. I have been slowly conditioning the soil there and will soon be contouring the area with hardy Liriope. Then wild garlic, daffodils, boxwood, lavender hedges, rosemary, and poppies. I can hardly contain myself!!! Every kitchen does really need its own private garden, and I really looking forward to sharing the folklore, art, and science behind my plans.

   In a few weeks we will be participating in a chicken coop Christmas decorating contest, so I am collecting amazing ideas from all over the place and deciding which ones are worth the expense of time. We are talking about chickens and geese, after all, and they are messy. They are sweet but terribly challenged in the manners and classiness department.

   This is my favorite song lately. In fact anything this girl ever sings makes me warm and gooey. This live version starts off kinda iffy, so please be patient and give it a chance! Go brush your teeth or something and come back once it’s buffered or whatever.

Wishing you more order in your own thoughts but just as much peace and joy.
xoxoxo

Another Reason to Love Mornings

    Do you adore mornings? Early morning is my very favorite time of day, that slice of time between the darkest hours of night and the palest, most timid moments of dawn. Everything is hushed. Generally the air outside is calm, no matter the season. The house is still and lit only here and there by a few golden pools of light. I am almost always the only one awake at this time, and it’s a wonderful time for perfect coffee.  
   Early morning is when my mind is most fluid and able to tap into that collective stream of life’s possibilities.  Everything feels fresh, possible, and important.  While the sun is trying to reach over the east field, I always think I can do anything and that everything good and worthy can still happen.  
   This evening I ran across a few sentences that spoke volumes to me even before I realized they were spoken by one of this past century’s most quotable men, John Wayne:
“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.
It’s perfect when it arrives,
and it puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”

   What do you think about this? Are you as enamored as I am by the gift of a new morning, by the opportunity and obligation to do better in this new day than we did in the previous one? No need to wait until January first of next year; we have new beginnings available to us every single day. And so we should be deeply grateful for every single day.
   We see in the Old Testament even more encouragement to love dawn: 
“It is of the Lord’s mercies 
that we are not consumed,
because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning:
great is thy faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23

   I encourage you to read that entire chapter in Lamentations. Especially if you are in the mode of counting your blessings, these passages are both humbling and strengthening, filled with encouragement to lean on God.  Rely on Love.
   If you spend your earliest morning moments preparing for the day rather than rushing into it, framing your thoughts and collecting your energies, I suspect you’ll enjoy the results.  Actively see the day as you want it to play out.  Harness the power of your imagination.  Resist fear and negative thinking; shun regret; embrace newness and strength. You’ll be in decent company!  Marcus Aurelius once said, 
“A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.” 
   This is not meant to imply that thoughts are all that matter, only that positive thinking is certainly a positive beginning and perspective matters a great deal.  And in my opinion the morning is an ideal time to secure your perspective.
   When I wake up tomorrow morning, I am determined to…

Pray those prayers I’ve been weary of for so long, the stuff I am close to believing will never happen
Be a better steward of my time, energy, material resources, & talents.
Be more appreciative for my abundance and for mercy.
Be kinder, more patient, and more compassionate than I was before.
Give more affection to our animals.
Reach out to loved ones in ways I haven’t tried so far.
Believe the best about people then act on that belief.
   On any given day, miracles can happen. Amazing surprises are lurking behind every sunrise, and I never want apathy, fear, or staleness in my own mind to preclude a miracle for myself or for a loved one.  
   Tomorrow morning, if you will, please pray for my family. Especially for my two daughters, Jocelyn and Jessica, and my two sisters, Angela and Genevieve. I hope your tomorrow arrives to you clean and is filled with mercies. I hope your tomorrow is richer and wiser than today, even if today was wonderful.  
xoxoxo

Truth Telling

   Not fortune telling, not spell-casting, not even name-it-and-claim-it spirituality, but truth telling.  We have a shortage of it.  From the everyday washing over of a minor indiscretion to the biggest lies, the most heinous deceptions, we try over and over again to trick each other into accepting what we hope will be a better reality, an easier or more advantageous way of seeing the world. 
   My almost grown children are hearing incredible, destructive lies that are temporarily isolating them from people who love them dearly.  And I have started a Truth Journal so that one day, when the time is right and I know no one will interfere, they can hear the truth about things and hopefully feel set free.  They both deserve that and so much more.
   What lies do you catch?  What lies do you tell?  What lies do you allow to slip past without making any effort to stop them?  I’m not suggesting that we spend our lives combating falsehood; we need to be good stewards of our time and energy and use wisdom to choose our battles.  But I wonder how different life would be if, starting immediately, we refuse to settle for untruths.
Pinned Image

I found this lovely print on Pinterest.
The original source appears to be 
   And I am really thinking of the important stuff here, the things that impact our hearts, although knowing for sure what truth lies behind certain advertising schemes or whether aspartame is R-E-A-L-L-Y that bad for me, yep, I’d like to know.
   Today I challenge you to join me in facing the worst lies in your life by standing on the knowledge that Truth can overcome them.  Love trumps, Love wins, and words matter.  Use them wisely and trust that even your thoughts can circle back to you.  So make them good and beautiful.  Make them truthful.
 xoxoxoxo
   

Breathing Deeply

   Eight days ago the lives of some of my most beloved people changed forever.  Our family was thrust into grief and shock, worse than any I have ever before witnessed firsthand.  All week long we have responded to each other the way I hope all families everywhere can manage to do.  I feel as profoundly grateful for my parents, my siblings, and my husband as I feel sad for the incredible loss being suffered.
   Having just now opened my laptop for the first time since the terrible news, the first thing I notice is that life goes on.  Whether we think we like it or not, the world is still turning.  Other people are still maintaining routines, relationships, and the pursuit of beauty in daily life.  Still oceans of happiness and possibility remain unexplored, and this is good.
   I’ll now be gradually stepping back into reading and writing, trying to revive my study of Proverbs 31 and also sharing some of the things we learned this week.  Prayers are still needed and appreciated for my sister, her children  our parents, everybody.

   Rather than leave you on a sad note, I want to assure you of the power of love and hope.  The potential for old hurts to be soothed, for flaring tempers to be cooled.  Love is not just soft and romantic or even sexy; it is truly powerful.  Love motivates; it emboldens; it focuses and multiplies our energy.  Love is miraculous, and it causes me to KNOW that all things are possible.

   Late last night we witnessed the marriage of Handsome’s nephew and his young bride, and I could feel in my lungs and my bones that Love is alive.  I breathed it in deeply, let it saturate my body, and savored the realization that what lies ahead of us is better than what lies behind us.

Best wishes, be as happy as you can, count your blessings.
xoxoxo

      

Proverbs 31:8-9 Speak Up for the Needy

   The next two verses are rich enough in their own right, but they also are accompanied by a long list of references in the Schofield text.  In my opinion this stuff needs very little expounding, though each of us, depending on our stations and functions in this world, may learn to apply the directives uniquely.  First, the lines from Proverbs:
  “Open thy mouth for the dumb in the course of all 
such as are appointed to destruction.  
Open thy mouth, judge righteously, 
and plead the cause of the poor and needy.”

********************
These references follow:
“I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame. 
I was a father to the poor: and the cause which I knew not I searched out.”
~Job 29:15,16

“And Johnathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, 
Let not the king sin against his servant, against David, because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee-ward very good.”
~I Samuel 19:4
“Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment:  thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty:  but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.”
~Leviticus 19:15

“And I charged your judges at that time, saying, Hear the causes between your brethren, and judge righteously between every man and his brother, and the stranger that is with him.”

~Deuteronomy 1:16

“Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him.”
~Job 29:12

“Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.”
~Isaiah 1:17

“He judged the cause of the poor and needy; then it was well with him:  was not this to know me?  saith the Lord.”
~Jeremiah 22:16

********************

   In what ways are you exposed to the poor and needy?  The widowed, the orphaned, the lonely?  How do you personally cross paths with those who cannot speak up for themselves or who are appointed to destruction?  Granted, these lines are perhaps directed in context to an actual ruler, a king, but if the popular scholar’s interpretation of proverbs 31 is to be considered, then the Christian church is accountable for these behaviors too.  These instructions are certainly consistent with Christian teaching.
   Also, how are we doing in the judging righteously department?  Not so awesomely most times, I suspect.  We are all naturally shaped with unique filters, feelings, preferences, grudges, politics, indoctrination, just all kinds of multi-faceted, self-protective words that really mean, “personal opinion.”  And personal opinion has a way of affecting how we treat others. Personal opinion also has a way of being wrong.  Ever been called to jury duty and felt, whether you expressed it or not, a strong bias, despite the evidence?  Ever catch yourself being cold to someone you don’t know based on another person’s opinion of him?  I have.  And worse.
   These events are common and natural human behavior, but if we read these words in the Bible then we hear a call to do better.  To strive for a life past what is natural and easy.  Stretch, not stagnate.
   I am reminded that every story has more than one side, very often more than two.  And I have been wrong a thousand times in my life, siding with the wrong person, standing on a moral I later discovered to be flawed or at least incomplete.  This is scary; it impresses on me the gravity of the job of judges who decide the fates of people daily.
   This brief study tonight has excavated in my heart more guilt and greater challenge than I expected.  I have a lot of work to do, but I believe that it can be turned around.  I believe that love and mercy are powerful, and I am hoping for second chances.  Checkout the above reference in Isaiah; the words learn and seek are loud to my eyes.
   Learn to do well.
   Seek judgment.
   These are active verbs, words that immediately acknowledge a position of lacking and then command work.  Ignorance and error can be overcome, so do it.  (I am bossing myself around, not you guys.)  I am thrilled by this idea, this encouragement.  
   
   That’s all for tonight.  Oklahoma is finally receiving a much needed deluge of cold rain, and a big pot of homemade chicken and dumplings is almost ready on the stove.  Pain is ever present, and so are hope and joy.  Wishing everyone a peaceful end to the weekend. 
xoxoxo