Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Autumn Arrives

   Happy First Day of Fall, Y’all!! Everywhere I look this week people are gearing up for and smiling about the official change in seasons. Women are wearing knee high boots (guilty) even though it’s not quite chilly enough; stores are happy to sell us artificially colored plastic leaves because our real leaves are still too green to collect; and the Pinterest boards have been flooded with football “game day” recipes. This exuberant thrust into the future tends to happen with a little extra oomph after any one season has been particularly brutal, as was the case with summertime 2012 in Oklahoma.

   I have made my peace with the end of summer.

   Mostly.

   I mean, our pool is still open, soooo…

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   This time of year is sensationally beautiful, of course. In most parts of the country but especially in Oklahoma, we can enjoy all variations of weather and foliage and local foods and also new, boredom-busting activities. Longer, slower hikes outside, pots of soup simmering on the stove, gardening without melting your face off. Watching the sun set comfortably, maybe even with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Crisp apples, moist pumpkin bread, and cotton table cloths that you would never use any other time of year…

   I must admit that early autumn is a little bittersweet for Handsome and me. It is the time of year when each of my girls made the decision to live with their Dad. On different years, mind you, but at the same season. On bad days, this is all bitter and no sweet. But then sometimes I can vividly imagine that their homecoming will happen in the fall, perhaps sometime far into the future, to replace the echo of that heartbreak with the celebration of our long awaited miracle. Hope is always sweet.
Our beloved Talking Tree on a particularly foggy morning

   Autumn is also when we had that house fire here at the farm that was started by (get this) a candle I had just purchased at Michael’s THAT SAME DAY to celebrate the arrival of fall!! Can you even believe the poetry in that?! I think it was a cinnamon-apple candle in a big glass jar, and it was almost three years before I could smell anything cinnamon with out feeling nauseous. “Hi, my name is Marie and I am terrified of cinnamon.”
Our front door and first floor may have been gutted, 
but our porch lights stayed lit and the flowers kept on blooming!

   Fortunately, and as a testament to both the power of Nature to overcome everything else and to our wealth of happy family memories, so much beauty remains that every year I cannot help but fall madly in love with autumn all over again.

   I love the flowers of the season…

   I love the pumpkin carving…
Look closely at these seeds… they are actually sprouts! 
They had sprouted inside the pumpkin, in the dark! 
Nature is amazing.
We fed them to the chickens.

…and I love the animal pranks. Kitten-Stuffed-Inside-Pumpkin is a classic. 

Unsuspecting Cat, “Fast Woman,” Circa 2008
Note the wary goat int he background. 
That is Marshmallow. She was no dummy.

 

Unsuspecting  and Unnamed Offspring of Fast Woman’s, Circa 2010
I was more than slightly amused to realize that
our feline-jack o’lantern tradition spanned many years.

But do NOT try this stunt with a goat. Or a buffalo. By comparison, cats are defenseless.
Sweet little Chunk-Hi back when he was still little and free to roam the yard.
See his stubby horn buds? Such a scruffy age, and so tender hearted, 
but still not appropriate for pumpkin-stuffing.

   Speaking of animal pranks, fall is a great time of year to bring your pretty little hens inside…

 …and make them look at fake, Styrofoam poultry stapled to little squares of cardboard. Seriously, if you have chickens just do this, ok? You should SEE the looks on their faces! It’s awesome.

   I love bonfires SO MUCH. Bonfires are easily my favorite thing about autumn. They encourage people to cuddle and talk and laugh hard and loud without worrying how weird their faces look. They send up smoke and embers to point our eyes toward the stars in the moody, changing sky… Bonfires are for s’mores and ghost stories, romance and memories.

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   I love that life is so full of texture. So rich with change and surprise, yet also filled with constant offers of strength and Truth. We just have to accept them. The painful times help us appreciate the happy times. The joyful times insulate us for the inevitable devastation.

   Take time to soak up the details and texture of whatever season you find yourself in. Accept its gifts, rise to its challenges, and whenever possible gather your loved ones around a bonfire and love each other through it.

And Take More Pictures!!
xoxoxo


Storms, Tap Roots, and Looking Up

Check it out you guys! Later today I am guest posting 
over at sweet Edie’s community blog, lifeingracegirls
So fun! I have admired Edie’s personal blog for a few years now 
and have gleaned from her tons of inspiration and enouragement, 
from books to faith to redecorranging.
Please join the fun over there and meet some of the other ladies too!

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 I was zoned out running in the back field Wednesday morning, listening to either Eminem or Godsmack or something else equally endorphonish, when something caught my eye. It startled me actually, although I have seen it a thousand times before. It was this tree and its giant root system, exposed to the sky…

This photo was taken immediately after the tornado.
You can see that the pine needles still face the tree’s original “up.”
Today they point towards the sky.

   A little over two years ago, a large and very strong tornado barreled up the western slope of our farm, thrashing the trees and ground but (fortunately) just grazing our house. Despite seeing the rain-wrapped beast with my own eyes through the kitchen window, it happened so quickly that we barely understood what it was until the next morning. Because, seriously, around here the wind comes sweeping down the plain a lot! Like, a 40 mph gust could be called breezy.

   Handsome and I walked around our property and discovered tree after tree either snapped off at the ground or skinned naked of bark. Fences were tangled. All kinds of debris (both our and our neighbors‘) were scattered everywhere. We found just exactly what Oklahomans expect to find after a tornado, only thankfully this time our house and our animals were more or less in tact. So thankful.

So much of the nearby forests was stripped down to stubble.
This poor family lost their entire roof, and many others lost much more.
We were so blessed to take a hit and only replace shingles.

   Okay, so that is why that tree looks this way. I am quirky, but I would never plant a tree in this position on purpose. I swear it was a tornado, you guys.

   What is fascinating to me is that after two years of being toppled and having its almost feathery and so crucial root system exposed to our extreme conditions (sub zero winters, triple digit summers, record breaking drought), this pine tree is alive. More than alive, really, it seems to be thriving, albeit in a slightly different posture than before.

   It is not thriving just because it has a good attitude, though I do personally believe that plants can pose themselves positively or negatively in this world. Why are goat-head stickers so hostile?!? Neither is it thriving because anyone drags the water hose and a bucket of manure out there every other day and keeps its nest of roots moist and fed. DUH. I do not have that much free time!

   This tree is thriving because its tap root runs deep and sure. It reaches far beyond the parched dust of the sandy back field. It runs several meters past where the cruelest winds might whip it silly.This tree is in touch with something deep and sustaining enough for it to grow under the most unlikely circumstances.

   Also, in addition to becoming strikingly beautiful in a brand new way, I see that now this pine tree’s exposed roots have become a shelter for small animals. The vacancy created by what was lost has become a home and solace for something else. If that’s not beautiful, you guys, I don’t know what is.

   What about us? How well established are our roots, and how vicious a storm can we withstand and still thrive, still grow? Even if some of the peripheral attachments we make in life are torn out and exposed to deadly elements, are we securely tapped into something more permanent? Can we enjoy many more seasons of new growth and beauty? Where do we face, towards the past or upwards?

   Personally, I can point to each trauma in my life so far and recall whether at that time I felt peace or fear. I can also remember how I fared in the wake of each storm, whether I crumpled into myself, risking dehydration and decomposition…or whether I was deeply fed enough to just turn my face upward and change direction.

   My connection to that deep Source of Life has been tested lately. So I am unreasonably happy to have noticed that tree today. I am so grateful to see its unusual beauty, its new bright green pine needles, the yoga pose it does all day as the sun moves over the back field. I am reminded that life’s features and posture change, sometimes permanently, but it all remains beautiful.

   Stay connected, friends, to the best stuff. Find Love and Truth and never let go. If (when) a storm topples you but you are still alive and connected to that fountain of Life that never runs dry, then you have hope for life, beauty, and joy. You might even be used for a purpose you never imagined.

“Surviving is Important;
Thriving is Elegant.”
~Maya Angelou
xoxoxoxo

10 Things the Thunder Taught Me

   Our Oklahoma City Thunder basketball team played an incredible season this year and also took our city, really our entire state and beyond, on a thrilling and memorable ride through the NBA Finals.

   Late last night they saw a bitter end to all of their hard work, losing the championship title to the Miami Heat, but they certainly did not lose any fans. They have, in fact, cemented their fan base with their dignity, talent, sportsmanship, and sheer entertainment value. I’d love to take a few minutes to honor them.

   Now, honestly, before this Thunder season, none of our friends and family would have dubbed either Handsome or me as an avid “sports fan,” but now I wouldn’t miss a game for anything and I already cannot wait for next season! Now, I ride the emotional roller coaster of every victory and every defeat, and now I am beginning to understand the plethora of sports metaphors that have eluded me all these years.

   For those of you who might not know, our team mascot is a buffalo. Kinda perfect, huh? Above is Rumble, the OKC Thunder bison who walks on two legs, sometimes on stilts even, and helps bring the crowd to boiling point game after game. He is a dancin man. Err, buff.

   And you all know Chunk-hi, our own little bison. He walks on four legs, never on stilts, but he also froths us up on a regular basis and can dance if the music is just right. Like Rumble, Chunk-hi prefers hip hop or rap. Loud.



   Oklahoma City home games are becoming widely known as unsurpassed in fan support. The events are always sold out and packed with entertainment;  the crowd is always ridiculously loud and energetic; and I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone who regrets bringing this team here, who still doubts that we could support a professional basketball franchise, in terms of either money or morale. In a few short years the Thunder have become part of our civic identity, and we love them. We love them collectively as the tightly knit team that they are, and we love them individually. 

Hello Mr. Collison… Do you rebound ferociously here often?

   One of my favorite things to do during this Finals month has been to ask people “Who’s your favorite Thunder player?” Do you know what happens? No one can name just one guy. Everyone starts with one player, then adds another, then another, then another, often names in tandem. It seems that the Thunder plays so cooperatively with each other that fans have a difficult time separating them. I think that is awesome! At this rate, they can only increase in their connectedness and maturity as a basketball machine.

   Do you see the score and the timer? Handsome and I were at this game, you guys. I have searched my thesaurus for words to describe the feeling but sit here empty handed. The Thunder won by the way, 149-140, after two bloody, sweaty, screaming overtime battles. That guy there is Russel Westbrook. He is one incredible athlete and never boring to watch. I love how he celebrates on court!

   Okay, I have to share some things I have picked up from the Thunder this year. Some life-applicable things I see that the best of sports can teach us, even those of us who are a little late to the sports metaphor game.

  1. Positiveness: Head Coach Scott Brooks is known for his calm, positive, forward-looking approach. I have nothing to add to this. It’s simply the way to live, you guys.
  2. Focus: Brooks has also trained his team to view each game as solitary. Whether the preceding match was a win or a loss, all that matters is right now. Working to a certain extent with blinders on seems to serve this team very well, and I imagine it would serve us well too.
  3. The entire effort matters. We have watched the Thunder change the course of a basketball game in the final seconds, proving over and over again that it is never over until it’s over. OKC viewers have joked for weeks about how many nails have been bitten off and how many people are on heart calming meds during the games. Follow through, follow through, follow through.
  4. Learn to tune out noisy feedback, both positive & negative. This is a tough one, both to digest and to apply, but it might be the strongest bit of advice I have personally gleaned from this season. The Thunder certainly express gratitude to their fans on a regular basis, but they also make it clear that they are not playing for media service or talking-heads approval. They play for their coach, for each other, and for victory. Period.
  5. Hospitality counts. Oklahomans are a bit divided over this topic, but I have to mention the Charles Barkley thing. If you don’t know what I’m talking about and want to chat, let me know. My take away is that southern graciousness goes a very long way, in many directions.
  6. Study your opponent, then credit them. Nearly every Thunder game has been wildly different, because their opponents have been so different. Our guys start each game playing hard, then they begin to learn the other team’s game and adapt immediately. The Thunder flexibility and evolving powers are pretty impressive. They also finsh each game, win or lose, with honorable and appreciative comments about their rivals. How many of us can boast the same?
  7. Speaking of honor, Play clean & honorably. Our guys can walk away from this season with their heads held high, knowing they are watched under microscopes and still regarded around the globe as a clean, honest, noble team. Everyone can learn from this, no matter your walk in life. How you play is more important than the outcome.
  8. See today’s value and tomorrow’s potential in each other and commit to that despite (once again) outside noise. How many times do we hear post game comments from our players, highlighting not themselves but each other? And Coach Brooks’ adamant support of his relatively immature (but clearly talented) players is flat out inspirational. 
  9. Age is just a number. Thunder players are among the youngest and the oldest in the NBA, and they play together seamlessly. Enough said.
  10. No excuses. Even when supporters were making excuses for one thing or another, with the best intentions of course, the Thunder never did. I only ever heard them acknowledge errors and learning experiences, even when most people would have allowed them a public gripe session. To me, this is more testament to their incredible sportsmanship. It is also a needed reminder to us of the Oklahoma standard.

   Sincerest congratulations to head coach Scott Brooks, to all of his staff, and to every single Thunder player. You conducted yourselves as gentlemen; you played magically; and you gave Oklahoma another thousand or so wonderful reasons to be proud. We wish you all a happy, healthy off season and cannot wait to welcome you back to the spotlight! Thank you for all of this and more!


Your Newest Fan
xoxoxo

Peaceful Rose of Sharon

   When you feel peaceful, does that feeling have a color? Or a texture, or a fragrance, or a sound? Does your inner peace taste like anything you can describe? When you remember your peace at a needful moment, do you contrast it against a certain pain to enhance the pleasure, or is it strong enough on its own?

  Gardens personify peace and beauty for me, as do both sparkling cleanliness and coconut cream pie. And also perfect coffee. Sunsets, especially when they can be enjoyed at leisure, following plenty of satisfying work, are symphonic in their expression of peace. Feeling and savoring that sweet, buttery, succulent, breezy, warm, perfumed, humming, musical, sparkling nucleus of peacefulness is a gift. Peace is a gift I do not take lightly in the face of so many storms in life.
   For a while I felt incredible guilt in celebrating sensuality so much, in noticing, craving, and magnifying the physical details of this world as much as I loved to do, as if they could somehow steal richness and gravity from the spiritual rivers that run around and through us. But then I felt and accepted that every spiritual urging seemed to have a physical parallel, or at least a physical expression. A sensual translation exists for every unseen emotion I have ever felt, how about you? 
   And so it goes with peace. Thankfully, the spectrum of colors and flavors and other wonderful expressions of peace are vast. Tonight, as I watched the sun sink behind the back field and the dense storm clouds gathered for a second night in a row, I caught a glimpse of  the dark pink Rose of Sharon right outside my kitchen window. Despite the storm, she stands here resolutely, gracefully, in full bloom. 
   Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace, to be real, must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” Clearly we are not islands. We are very much affected by outside circumstances and we also can be or bring about the outside circumstances that affect others. But finding and celebrating inner peace that flows and radiates despite difficulties, this is beautiful.
   The Lazy W is not without storms, both meteorological and spiritual. But we have been blessed with an abundance of beauty and peace. We have our eyes open to the ocean of grace and creation from which we came ourselves. And we know that while storms are always brewing, so is life and so is peace. I don’t have to look very far to be reminded and comforted by a thousand physical expressions of Love.
“Peace is its own reward.”
~Gandhi
xoxoxo

Source of the Stink

   This morning I opened our refrigerator to start the normal breakfast prep and pack a lunch for Handsome. Despite the dark, artsy fragrance of coffee brewing a few feet to my left, despite the clean, cold freshness of the tile floor beneath my bare feet and the calm black of the sky outside my kitchen window, I was suddenly and unpleasantly bowled over by an offensive, malodorous wretchedness billowing out from my side-by-side. If this smell had a color, it would be green. Putrid, slimy, witch’s brew-with-eye-of-newt green. Grody. Like, gag me with a spoon grody.
   I did a quick investigation and found, to my eternal dismay, that I am a hoarder of romaine lettuce, garlic cloves, and spinach leaves. Oh, and also lots of other things, but those were not the stinky headline this morning. 
   The odor instantly rearranged my priorities for the day, because I absolutely will not live with gross smells. So now, as I write this, the refrigerator has been emptied of nearly everything, even though only a few things had caused the problem. A giant chicken bowl full of donatable goodies, some sudsy hot vinegar water, and a vanilla candle later… and once again all is right in Denmark. The kitchen and the fridge smell lovely, and I am free to go purchase more romaine lettuce, garlic, and spinach.
   Okay, not to get overly philosophical on this rainy Friday morning with a cup of coffee in front of me… I mean, seriously, I might as well be in a book store, wearing a knit hat and fake horn rimmed glasses here… but this morning’s unexpected domestic task could not have come at a better time for yours truly. 
   Living with a dysfunction or some measure of pain can only be tolerated for so long before the source has to be identified and dealt with. Coping mechanisms and forgiveness and such are eventually only effective as healing balms for after the problem is solved, and I just don’t think we can expect ourselves or our loved ones to always find the energy needed to overcome a deep pain with average, daily acts of love.
   Don’t get me wrong… I am in full support of average, daily acts of love; it’s pretty much my favorite thing ever… but maybe you know what I’m talking about. Maybe you too have a deep pain which you are generally able to suppress and live with but which inevitably resurfaces and disrupts all of your peace and tranquility.
   All I’m suggesting here is that once in a while it’s wise to take an honest inventory of both your refrigerator and your heart and deal with the slimy lettuce. Because it stinks. And when you open either door, nobody can stand the smell.
   And no sir, I did not take photos of the malodorous carnage. Besides, the chickens have eaten most of it by now.
You Can’t Fake a Fresh Heart,
and You Can’t Febreeze Major Appliances.
Be well.
xoxoxo