Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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thanksgiving heart prep

November 22, 2014

With only days until Thanksgiving, my heart is shifting in miraculous ways. So is our life. Life is shifting in miraculous ways, and I feel it over and over again at the most unexpected moments. The more I consciously still myself and concentrate on that shifting sensation, the more it expands. And it feels wonderful. Unpredictable, a little scary maybe, but wonderful. Long-whispered prayers are being answered for us, out of the blue.

At the same time, loss that we would never have predicted is carving big holes in our bones. Loved ones gone, loved ones missing. All our traditions and routines are cast in a new light, and it’s not always pretty. Of course the holiday season brings all of this center stage.

Life, despite loss, is thriving. This holiday season will be much different from last year. Just as last year was much different from the year before. It’s this brackish water where we’re always drawn to swim, this deep pool, warm and salty like tears. But clear and sparkling in the sun. Both.

Sometimes in bitter moments I wonder if life sends us pain to temper the joy, to keep us humble. But in my heart I believe the opposite: That life sends us joy to help us bounce back from pain. To give us good things to reach for, people to actively love, instead of crumbling in around ourselves.

The Not Always Lazy W, thelazyw, oklahoma

This week we did a pretty silly thing. On a whim of decluttering mania, owed in part to the recent snow storm (cabin fever makes us want to clean) but mostly to a summer’s worth of collecting and indulgent fake decorating, Handsome and I sold a bunch of our furniture and put even more in storage. Dishes, too. The downstairs front room is pretty much empty now, vacant and echo-y like we just moved in. Pacino the parrot loves the new acoustics.

And it turns out we’re hosting Thanksgiving! haha, Haha, see what I mean? Shifting. Life is shifting, but it mostly gives me this effervescent feeling in my belly, and it warms my heart. Let’s call it… Emotional champagne. Okay?

lazyw, The Not Always Lazy W

Maybe because I’m a Pisces? I don’t know. But this back-and-forth swimmy reality, this brackish-water awareness that life is both grief and joy, both profound loss and shocking, blinding relief, it pleases me deeply. The balance keeps me upright and in the moment. Anything is possible. Both thrilling and terrifying, every day holds the potential for very real miracles.

So I have learned to look neither too far ahead nor too far in the past, except to give thanks and ask for grace. This day, this exact moment, is more than enough. We are not alone, and no matter what happens we will be okay.

thelazyw, The Not Always Lazy W, oklahoma, faith, thanksgiving
dormancy and new life holding hands

Back to Thanksgiving prep! This weekend Handsome and I are recharging our batteries a bit. Hoping to spend some time with good friends and maybe our oldest daughter. Probably doing a little domestic rearranging, a little nest feathering. A lot of romancing.

As I type, the skies are bluish gray and pouring rain all over the golden trees and pale, dormant fields. Beats of thunder are rumbling gently. We are sipping perfect coffee and watching old episode of Rifle Man. Sifting though Pinterest boards to really zero in on Thanksgiving projects. Enduring the occasional outburst from our acoustic-loving parrot. Every moment is so full. Pressed to the edges with life.

Okay. Turkey Day.

If you’re like me you like to look around and see what the experts are doing to prepare for the holidays. I have found a handful of really stellar posts that have sent my hostess soul absolutely into the stratosphere! Please check these out, if you haven’t already…

  • King Arthur Flour offered a detailed outline of preparing the feast itself. Really detailed, practical, and customizable!
  • Speaking of detailed, of course, there is the queen of step-by-step, Oklahoma’s very own Pioneer Woman. This post from 2008 is great. And it’s illustrated!
  • Then the Nester wrote about hospitality and how she needed to offer it to herself first, to refill her well. Beautiful! Must read. I teared up a few times and craved a frothy coffee and decided that my newly emptied living room shall be decorated with all kinds of new texture. Go see for yourself.
  • Possibly my most beloved blogger, Edie, wrote an equally beautiful but more colorful post on her Thanksgiving prep. She always shares both the how-to and the why, and that’s why I appreciate her so much. My favorite part? Her admonition to cup our hands on the faces of our loved ones, make eye contact, and tell them thank you.

What treasures have you found to read? What’s happening in your heart this Thanksgiving? I hope you can see your blessings clearly, up close, and with the heavy weight of gratitude that also lifts your burdens. I hope you too can enjoy swimming in the bright, salty, brackish waters of life.

leaves

Happy weekend, friends! Much love from the Lazy W.

God has two dwellings.
One in heaven and the other
in a meek and thankful heart.
Izaak Walton
xoxoxoxo

 

5 Comments
Filed Under: 1000gifts, daily life, faith, Thanksgiving, thinky stuff

worries melting like snowflakes

November 17, 2014

This morning Handsome and I crept outside for a later-than-usual Hot Tub Summit. The air was cold and gray, the sky already quilted white and releasing a slow, reluctant curtain of snowflakes. We soaked up both the cold and the heat and unbraided ourselves from sleep. With nowhere to go today and a blessedly short list of duties, we had a really easy time staying relaxed. Oklahoma weather teams have been preparing us all week for a snowfall today, maybe an inch. And while we never fully trust the forecast, we did get a little excited. If not for the cold (Handsome belongs only on the beach), then certainly for the unwritten excuse to hibernate. We are happily immersed in season two of Dexter right now. Plus, so much romance… We have lots of ways to pass the time.

While we were sitting in the steaming froth I watched several fat, lazy snowflakes flirt in circles in the cold air around us. They melted easily, even before touching our skin. The steam probably dissolved them. I closed my eyes and took a silent inventory of all the little dagger-shaped worries that have bothered me this week. So many small, panicky moments, so many sudden fears piercing my happiness. Mostly what-if thoughts about my children.

Phantom worries that never came to fruition.

I am so lucky to be nourished by crystal-clear scripture, good literature, the best of friends, and more than my fair share of Love. Basically, grace. Loads and loads of grace. Had those dagger-shaped thoughts landed on a cold heart they might have stuck. They might have pierced me through and drained me of all my life. But instead, they fell over and over again on a warm, healthy place. They melted before they really touched me.

I have nothing against the snow. It’s beautiful and muffled and rare. It is infinitely more pleasurable that ice, after all, so when we get a blanket of the magical stuff I don’t mind celebrating it. I especially don’t mind hibernating with my handsome husband.

In the hours since this morning’s hot tub magic, we have received much more than the single inch the weather folks predicted. The farm is heavily snowed under, thick piles of it everywhere. But the message is still clear to me: Tiny worries melt quickly in the heat of faith and Love. They can pile up too, if we let them.

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Please forgive my mixed metaphors, friends.

More importantly, feed your faith. Nourish you heart and keep it warm. Stay healthy and receptive to the best of things. It helps you resist worry. It helps you stay whole.

Signing off to count my blessings and go watch a baby llama play in the snow.

Thank you for stopping in, friends.
Much love and many melted snowflakes to you.
XOXOXOXO

3 Comments
Filed Under: daily life, faith, thinky stuff, weather, winter, worry

happy veterans’ day to my brother

November 12, 2014

Hello, friends! Thanks for stopping in. I’m taking a minute to wish someone very special a happy Veterans’ Day. He is by coincidence visiting his California home for a few days right now, in the middle of a long deployment. I hope he can feel this little written hug across the miles.

 

My first little brother is Joey. Joseph, really, to the known adult world. I was about six when he was born and for much of our lives people have mistaken us for twins. He has always been a wonderful little brother. I love him so much.

That's me holding Joey and our sweet sister Angela. Before we ever knew there would be a Genny or a Phil. xoxo
That’s me holding Joey and our sweet sister Angela holding his hand. This was before we ever knew there would be a Genny or a Phil. xoxo Three cheers for calico!

 

Joey grew up smart and strong and married the most amazing woman, Halee. I happened to be hanging out with him the day after their first date, and I will never forget how he could not stop talking about her.They fell madly in love and she fit right into the family, effortlessly. In the years since Halee has become much more than a sister-in-law to me; she is one of my closest friends. She and I have had countless conversations about being married to strong, career-minded men. It’s a gift for which I am grateful, and I know her husband appreciates her support. I think the two of them are a great portrait of teamwork in marriage. They display the beauty of complementing strengths and of having a united front, skills they have needed through one deployment or job change or relocation after another.

This photo was taken in 2009 at a Navy ball. I love seeing Joey in uniform and Halee in formals! Such a gorgeous, loving couple.
This photo was taken in 2009 at a Navy ball. I love seeing Joey in uniform and Halee in formals! Such a gorgeous, loving couple.

Together they gave us all an amazing little nephew to love. Greg is a cutie who as a toddler ate his first bite of watermelon here at the farm. Then a couple of years later we were walking in the back field and he suddenly jumped into our pond, with zero warning! No problem, it was like three inches deep there. He was fine and we all laughed and laughed.

Oh, Greg. I am crazy about anyone who takes their watermelon this seriously.
Oh, Greg. I am crazy about anyone who takes their watermelon this seriously. And, friends, look at his face and try to not see his daddy. I know!

 

Since college Joey and Halee have been building an incredible life together, mostly revolving around the United States Navy. They have made one difficult decision after another, weighing options and opportunities, trying to see into the future and know ahead of time what is best for each other and their little family. For all of us, really, because no matter the distance, whether stationed in Japan or Africa or Florida or San Diego, no matter the weight of responsibility, they have always stayed closely knitted to family here in Oklahoma. They have been determined to not only meet their obligations but exceed them. And now Joe (that is really hard for me to do, not call him Joey) is now an accomplished Navy officer. A Lieutenant Commander to be exact, working as an engineer and a Diving Officer, currently stationed in Japan.

hoey bw dive

I won’t pretend to know everything this life path has cost you, Joey, but I hope it has brought you at least as much reward.  And I hope you feel loved and appreciated for everything you do, day to day, year after year. You are pretty quiet and humble about your military career, as it should be I suppose. But do you still know how proud we all are of you? How thankful we are for the example you are setting for the next generation, and for the work you do for this one? When you and I do get the chance to sit and talk, I treasure every minute. I see you as the blonde headed little boy in grade school, constantly playing Legos, and I see my infant brother who once stayed overnight in the hospital with an IV in his scalp. I see the teenaged boy amazed to see his tiny niece for the first time and the college student who still found time to come home for birthday and Halloween parties.

Happy Veterans’ Day to you, Joe, to your colleagues, and to Halee and Greg who are the closest members of your team. You are loved. You are admired. You are appreciated for your sacrifice and devotion. Stay safe and happy!

With so much love,
Your fake twin sister
xoxoxoxo

 

Thanks again for stopping in and reading, friends! If you or someone you love is a military vet, consider yourselves hugged and thanked by the Lazy W. xoxo

1 Comment
Filed Under: family, memories, thinky stuffTagged: Veterans' Day

magical, grateful november day

November 9, 2014

What a gorgeous, sparkling-sunshine afternoon. I feel the magic of November all around me. And several hours stretch between right now and the next hectic time, so I want to frame this moment. Before I ask for anything else, before I think of what’s coming around the bend, I want to give thanks and breathe deeply the Love that has already been offered.

nov 9 porchnov 9 fall bordernov 9 aging crepe myrtlesnov 9 travel pecan treenov 9 dormant sunflowersnov 9 brilliant maple

A quiet walk around the farm is stunning right now. The colors, textures, and easy sounds of autumn intoxicate me. And our life is so combed through with mercy, I feel the need to pause and take stock more often. The weight of uncounted blessings is wonderful and keeps me conscious. Keeps me wide-eyed and in the moment.

We all have big problems and we all have heartache that has been sapping our strength for so long we almost can’t remember what life was like without it. But maybe just for today, lay it down. Maybe just for today, allow the particular beauty and magic of November to refresh you.

Just look around and see how beautiful life is, just exactly as it is, right this minute. Be content with your abundant blessings. Let yourself feel overwhelmed by beauty. Be stirred by the mystery of things you could never accomplish on your own.

And tomorrow, or whenever you have to deal with reality again, your soul will be refreshed.

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”
~Jean Baptiste Massieu
XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: 1000gifts, daily life, small stones, thinky stuff

The Giver (book review)

October 29, 2014

Hello, Happy Wednesday! How about a little book review? It’s certainly been a while.

A couple of days ago I spent a few hours subbing in a seventh grade English class, and the work they were doing was Q & A for the short, sweet, impactful novel The Giver by Lois Lowry. I had forgotten to bring along my own book that day, and after my eyes got tired of crocheting this gray shawl you see the beginning of here, I decided to pick up the teacher’s hardback copy and read it for myself. It’s only 179 pages long and geared toward tweens, so I zipped right through it. (Normally I’m a studious and meditative, meaning pretty darn slow, reader.)

The Giver Lois Lowry
The Giver by Lois Lowry plus a new crochet project by yours truly.

Friends, it’s a great book for several reasons. Fellow bibliophiles in my life have recommended this to me before, but it just kept falling off my radar. Do you ever think that certain books cross your path at just the right moment, maybe just when you need them most or right when you are perfectly receptive to the message, whether you realize it or not? Such is the case with The Giver. I may have read it nearly a decade later than everyone else; but it sank directly into my heart in the most wonderful ways. And I had the pleasure of tossing around reactions with about eighty students, hearing what they thought and seeing the joy of reading in their faces. Jackpot.

The Giver is part fantasy and part a telling of very simple, relatable human nature. It’s a unique coming of age story that explores societal functions in a way I have never before seen. The author manages to build pretty good characters and plot rapidly, succinctly, and with skill that leaves you wanting much more. (An update on that later.) She uses language artfully but doesn’t smother you with adjectives and prose. She paints pictures neatly, effectively, with great sensation. I loved every page. Do you know how sometimes a book hits all the best high points and only explores the most valuable depths? No dry spells of reading stuff you later decide was unnecessary? That is how The Giver works. Lowry could have made every chapter much more thorough (meaning, painstakingly detailed), but she seemed to know when to quit or when to pull back. It was was refreshing. So that is why I enjoyed it as a reader, and as a prospective writer I took lots of cues from her.

As for the message that landed with such timeliness in my heart, it’s about kids who have lived out their childhood and are on the brink of adulthood, the knife’s edge of what’s next and how do I fit into this society, the world at large? What’s my function now that bike riding and recreation and freedom have come to an end? Our oldest is on this exciting and possibility-rich precipice right now, so the connections dazzled me. I was close to tears a few times while reading.

The story also explores the power of choice making, the dangers and risks of individuality, and the beauty of it all. It drives home the horrible fallout of something they call “Sameness,” or what I think of as social homogenization. There is also some touching on hot-button issues like weather control and euthanasia, which I thought was interesting. Mostly, though, it’s about the people.

Another theme that weighs in is the immeasurable power of memory. Collective memory, really: the wealth of emotion and wisdom we all enjoy by keeping our past close at hand and living in ways that show we have learned from history, both immediate and distant. Collective memory is written as a painful but necessary element in the new society, an irreplaceable gift. But history and memory are carefully guarded, sequestered from the general public because feeling it all is so uncomfortable. They’ve forgotten how to cope with it. Then, together with physical sensation, the feeling of things seems to be the vehicle for experiencing Love. When a character actually tastes loss and grief, inconveniences scrubbed out by the new, pristine Sameness, he finally feels the depth of Love.

It’s amazing. I couldn’t stop thinking about the duality of hurt, the balance in life between pleasure and pain. About how it is so clearly the dark times that make us appreciate the light, and how absence makes the heart grow fonder, etcetera.

I also thought of Finding Nemo, which pops into my Mother Brain more often than I care to admit. Remember the part when Marlin confides that he just doesn’t want anything to happen to his son? And then Dory, in her simple wisdom, wants to know why on earth he would want that? Yep.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest. ~Confucious
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest. ~Confucious

In fact, the word love in this new society has become so generalized that it is nearly obsolete. Now, of course, we mention this once in a while to each other, right? We joke about how we love Tex Mex and we love the color turquoise, but yes we also love our grandparents and best friends. And wow we really love coffee and books and amazing husbands. The word itself, at least in American English, is diluted to the point of needing context every time we use it. So the author’s point is driven home well. But she also prompts lots of thinking on how to help each other cope with pain and difficult memories. She makes it clear that it is leaning on each other that siphons off grief, and maybe she even meant to say that physical touch was a necessary ingredient.

there could be love sticker

I could talk about this book all day long and into the night and might even try to convince my book club, those ladies who haven’t read it yet, to snap it up so we can tackle it as a group. The Giver is so short but so deep and beautiful! Have you read it? What did you think?

  • What was your take on the Releasing ceremonies?
  • What did you think of age twelve as the time in life to choose your path, or have it chosen for you?
  • If society were to choose your career or vocation for you, what might be chosen, based on what people know/observe about you? And how happy would you be?
  • What did you think of physical touch as it related to pain relief and memory sharing?
  • How close do you think we are to Sameness in different parts of society now? What are the risks and rewards?
  • What did you think of the book’s ending??

Oh that’s right! The ending. I was stunned and felt a bit empty when I read the last page. Luckily a talkative little girl in class was happy to trade thoughts at the exact moment, so I didn’t go quite insane. She assured me that the author received such feedback for more story that she has since written this one volume into a series called The Quartet. I cannot wait to find those and soothe my curiosity.

And do you know what I discovered while poking around the internet for the author’s contact information? She is also the creator of the Goonie Bird books! Our youngest loved these in grade school. Very happy memories. So now Lois Lowry has touched my heart twice this week, once for each of my babies, now young women.

Okay, three cheers for sudden book finds and enlightening seventh grade days! Thanks for stopping in, friends. Have the best Wednesday ever.

Back and back and back…
~Lois Lowry, The Giver
XOXOXOXO

 

 

2 Comments
Filed Under: book reviews, thinky stuffTagged: book reviews, Lois Lowry, The Giver

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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