Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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no longer surprised by joy

When I first opened my eyes this morning, sunlight was streaming into our bedroom warm and smooth, molten, kinetic. The walls were pulsing with that wonderful early morning sheen, thick with golden light, and then in a moment it was gone. Slipped away in the cleaner white light of day. A rare moment captured.

Then a little bit later when Handsome and I stepped outside with our mugs of perfect coffee, ushering the chickens and geese out of their nighttime coop and tiptoeing towards Hot Tub Summit, we caught another rare moment. The east pasture and middle yard were capped with a thin blanket of wooly fog, rolled out like a blanket no more than twelve or fifteen feet above the ground. Through that fog, more sunlight streaming fiercely, joyously, making every tree branch come to life despite their dormancy. The backlit fog was stunning. And then it was gone, burned off in the warming rays.

These moments were brief but breathtaking, and I am so happy we both got to see them.

Miracles have been happening in our life. Always, yes I know. Life itself is a miracle. But friends… Miracles have been happening. Some of them have been direct answers to prayers, often desperate ones. Many of these prayers are several years old, too. Other miracles have been complete surprises, wonderful doses of saving grace from near tragedy or windfall joy out of the blue.

I try to move slowly through my days whenever possible so I can notice the details of life more fully, absorb them, and magnify the Light streaming in that gilds everything. Ann Voskamp illustrates this discipline beautifully. Besides making the days more lovely, this also serves to calm me with those yet unanswered prayers. I feel steady and sure, confident in the powerful Love surrounding us.

Today I barely feel the need to ask for anything more because the momentum of miracles in our life is so strong, so kinetic. But we are invited to ask largely, so I will. Before that though, and after it and all day every day, my prayer is Thank You. Thank you, and I trust You. I trust you with everything big and small, seen and unseen. Thank You.

 day lilies cs lewis

Are you seeing miracles in your life right now? Do you need a miracle? They are certainly available, and you don’t have to deserve them to receive them. But you do have to ask and trust.

Wishing you a really gorgeous, happy, love-filled Sunday. Handsome and I are soon heading back outside to soak up more unseasonably warm temperatures (Oklahoma still thinks it April, not February) and see what new miracles are on the horizon. Thank you so much for stopping in.

Thank You.
Thank You and I trust You.
XOXOXO

 

 

marathon monday: post-run yoga

Hello and welcome to another Marathon Monday! If you’re following along, this is the start of week 6 of training for the April race.

I am happy to report that my mileage for the past few weeks has been right on target. A bit over the Hal Higdon prescription, actually, and I’m feeling great. With increased mileage (which will increase even more in the coming weeks) I am reminded of how important it is to stretch afterwards.

Most people probably neglect stretching more than they should, myself included. Isn’t it like flossing? Like, we all know we should do it, and we all say we do it, but really, only when we eat spinach? Or popcorn?

Well, I had fallen into the habit of not stretching unless I was running in the double digits and then only rarely. No longer! Last week I paid a hefty price for this negligence. The evening after a long run I was walking around the house in ill-fitting sweat pants, not able to bend my knees. So I sort of waddled from left to right, stiff-legged and VERY stiff-hipped. I also couldn’t bend my back, so I looked perfectly British in a ridiculous way. I caught Handsome looking at me sideways a few times, and it was not flirting.

Anyway a couple of days later I was so thrilled to remember this little yoga video on You Tube. I have been doing it ever since, even after short runs, and it makes everything better. My legs feel more supple. My back is bendy again. My hips are loose. Even my feet and arms feel good.

(Side note: I never expected to have sore arms from running. Crazy.)

http://youtu.be/2Hf_u0AGdEA

 

And as much as this yoga video helps my body (from head to toe!) it also helps my mind. Twenty minutes of these exercises and affirmations will make it nearly impossible for you to be overly critical or irrationally dissatisfied with yourself. Probably anyone who practices yoga will agree that the phrases which strike you the most during your poses will actually apply to your life across the board. So go ahead and be mindful. It’s lovely.

 

photo with ypga quote

Isn’t that beautiful? It made me think a lot about what my foundations are, about what it means to be graceful and live with integrity. I was reminded to slow down and breathe…

Okay I hope if you are running that you are also stretching! Consider this a big warm hug from me, encouraging you to try yoga for its physical and personal benefits.

I also hope that you are flossing, at least when you eat spinach and popcorn. Because, we can totally see that.

‘Tis in ourselves that we are thus or thus.
Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.
~William Shakespeare, Othello
XOXOXO

 

 

 

confessing some unpopular opinions

These past couple of weeks I have spent more time than usual expressing strong personal opinions that did not necessarily mesh with those of some people close to me. The topics were various, and certainly lots of loved ones offered me agreement and support; but still I have felt an undercurrent of opposition that I don’t normally feel. It’s uncomfortable, and a few tears were shed on both sides of these arguments, but it hasn’t changed my opinions one bit.

Anyway. I will be forty-one in less than two months and am experiencing yet another cliché: I just do not really care what people think of me. Not in an angsty I hate the world kind of way. No, not at all. I love more people and I love them more deeply than ever before and am more comfortable in this world than I have ever been, since maybe the age of eight. I just need less and less approval from others and rarely feel the need to justify or explain myself to anyone. At all.

So in the spirit of being honest, but also trying to have a sense of humor about it, let’s do some confessions. Let’s confess some opinions. And why don’t we make them all unpopular, ok?

 

Confessing Some Unpopular Opinions

  1. New Kids on the Block? Who’s that? Talk to me about Menudo. Or the hey hey we’re the Monkeys!
  2. Pixar makes me nauseous. Not, like, oh I hate it so much I’m gonna hurl, but like, when I watch Pixar-animated films I literally get motion sickness or something. I have to make sure to have a book or a hand-held craft or something available to stay the sway. Which is too bad, because they turn out some great stories. Or so I hear.
  3. Daniel Craig is the best James Bond, ever. Sorry, Mr. Connery and Remington Steele.
  4. I happily support gay marriage and am not at all surprised that it is being legalized rapidly across the country.
  5. But I cannot fathom any excuse to make abortion legal.
  6. And I think the feminist movement has taken so many ugly turns I want nothing to do with it. It has become a tricky, hurtful game of semantics that is counterproductive to people, not just women.
  7. Fennel, though beautiful to look at as a raw vegetable and highly attractant to valuable pollinators in your garden while blooming, tastes awful. Because it tastes like licorice. Which tastes awful.
  8. I believe strongly in the Bible as being the word of God.
  9. But I am reluctant to identify with any man-made “religion” or denomination. No one single group has it all right.
  10. That said, I think religion can be a beautiful and vital part of life and the fabric of our community if it is used and practiced lovingly. (This opinion is probably very popular, though, right? I mean it seems like a no-brainer. Not that you can tell by looking at most church communities.)
  11. Along a similar vein, though I am largely conservative in nature, but still a bit of a hippie according to my friends, I resist identifying with any political party. Because, again, none of them get it all right. And they sure don’t speak for me.
  12. Frogs are terrifying and mostly quite gross.
  13. But horned toads are awesome.
  14. I don’t care how plain or old-fashioned they are, morning-glory vines are possibly my favorite flower in the whole universe.
  15. Animals as family members are so wonderful! But I really don’t groove them inside the house. I know, cue ironic music and eye rolling.
  16. Gallagher, remember him? The watermelon-smashing “comedian?” Can. Not. Stand. Him. Slapstick comedy in general is annoying to me, and this particular unpopular opinion makes my sweet husband sad. He loves the Three Stooges.
  17. Though I am guilty of more than my fair share of accidental typing errors, it drives me crazy to see deliberate spelling manipulations in advertising. For example, “E-Z” in lieu of “Easy.” Or anytime the plural “s” is swapped out for a “z.” WHY?? Catching my attention visually is pointless for sales, because now your giant Z means I will refuse to step foot in your shop. Also? You probably call it a “shoppe.” My god.
  18. Regardless of the administration, I think the office of the President both garners too much credit and also suffers too much criticism for everything that happens in this country or under her scope. We are a vast social and political organism with complex moving parts operated and affected by far more than one elected official.
  19. Condoning underage drinking or use of illegal drugs, especially with minors, is deplorable.
  20. How on earth do we still have these bachelor-rose-giving shows? I mean really.
  21. I think Diet Coke is probably fine.
  22. I think Katy Perry is beautiful but will only listen to one of her songs, Dark Horse, and only when I’m running.
  23. I love Eminem, explicit.
  24. The show Fantasy Island needs to make a comeback.
  25. When toddlers get gently attacked by cats is the best. I can watch those videos for hours.

rp_daniel-craig-6.jpg

Please join me. Get it all off your chest. Throw caution to the wind.

Know Thyself
~Socrates
XOXOXO

p.s. I am sure you already know this, but if you need a good laugh, look up the hashtag #confessyourunpopularopinion sometime. People are funny. And you just might walk away with a slightly different view of what mainstream is. LOL

 

new moon farm update: closing the ranks

I have been feeling extremely protective lately. More so than normal. Protective over my children, my husband, our home, our animals, my gardens (though they are dormant, they are beautiful and precious to me), my time, body, emotions, thoughts and opinions, you name it… I have for a week or so had this deep and powerful need to keep threats at bay and create space for everyone. It’s a thrumming momentum I feel. Not an absence of energy but a tide of it. And a strong tide at that. And it is kind of wearing me out.

Yesterday more than other days recently, I woke up feeling a bit prickly. You know, less open-armed and more closed off to the world. And that’s not really my personality. I feel this periodically, and over time I’ve learned to take this feeling seriously, to not brush it off and waste the brief season. I’ve learned that there is a beautiful purpose to this shift in my heart and body.

Well, in addition to actual life challenges, it turns out that Tuesday was also a New Moon. Funny, right? That means that for the previous two weeks our energies had been slowly draining and gradually approaching, basically, empty. It could have a lot to do with the worn out feeling.

It makes so much sense now. It’s like my soul knew before my mind realized it when to shed extra weight in my schedule and consciousness and sort of lower our family’s center of gravity. Focus. Breathe deeply. Create all that much-needed space.

So I am closing the ranks. This is not depression; it’s just a refocusing. I’m not going anywhere extraneous for a while. I am still running my miles and eating healthfully and showering every day and doing lots of housework and wearing bright colors to combat the late winter doldrums, but I am also saying no over and over again, to anything that is not serving us essentially. No volunteering, no driving across town for unpaid projects, no visiting with people who make me cry and confuse my heart. Right now I need to build up some strength and just breathe. Catch up on work around the farm, reset some projects and priorities. And really, this season of closed ranks won’t last long; I am pretty sensitive to the moon and will surely feel the swell of the waxing weeks just as strongly as I felt the waning.

********************

This wouldn’t be a Wednesday farm update without sharing some news.

First, Jocelyn has been visiting us still and spending lots of time training the horses. And training me with the horses, truth be told. Chanta and I daydream of so many magical horse-and-rider moments. He told me things are promising. I’ve only had one fall (off of Dusty, so it was a short trip), and it did not involve a visit to the dentist. Bonus! Joc and I are having so much fun and making a thousand happy memories together. I am in awe of the young woman she is becoming.

 

joc dusty

 

The hens are laying eggs consistently, including a minty green (maybe it’s actually blue) egg yesterday, the first one like this in over a year! So gorgeous. I love the colored shells so much.

 

Fancy Louise. World's most affectionate hen. xoxo
Fancy Louise. World’s most affectionate hen. xoxo

 

Chunk is still a tire flipper.

Pacino is still a wooden floor wanderer.

And little Meh has decided that sweet grain is totally delicious if he can no longer have his mama’s milk. So that is all really great.

On a sad note, the bees I found a few days ago appear to have been robber bees, not my beloved Lazy W Honeymakers as I had announced on Facebook. The hives are in fact depressingly empty except for a small cluster of dead bees, so I am frustrated beyond words. I’ve spent so much time, energy, and money on this beekeeping project that a second total loss is almost enough to make me throw in the towel. Many thanks to those of you who have already said sweet things about this bummer news, and thanks in advance to those of you who now will. I don’t yet know exactly what happened. But I will do as much reading and observing and asking around as necessary to figure it out.

 

lights

 

It’s fine, you know, to close the ranks when you need to. Tend your temple, feather your nest, look well to the ways of your own household first, especially when your emotional resources are limited. The energies will shift again and strength will build back up, then other kinds of work and pleasure will be on my mind.

How are you? Do you notice a shift in energies when the moon is waning?

“If you surrender to the wind, 
you can ride it.”
~Toni Morrison
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

marathon monday: time travel

Hello and happy Monday! Happy brand new everything. I admit to totally loving the beginning of the week. The fresh slate, the abundance of pent up energy from a weekend of cuddling and eating spaghetti. The running schedule which is so far unaltered. : )

Everything feels fresh and possible on Monday.

sun returns c

This week for Marathon Monday I’m indulging in an idea sparked by a Twitter conversation with Joe Jacobi. Joe is a new running acquaintance I’ve made thanks to the OKC Memorial Marathon connection. I’d been asking friends to time travel a bit, to think back to what recipes rocked their young adult worlds in terms of convenience, cost effectiveness, etc. What we wish we’d known then kinda stuff. (I’m working on a fun kitchen surprise for our oldest girl who is cooking for herself now.)

Well, Joe suggested that the same question is a totally valid line of thought for sports, too. What do we wish we’d known in our twenties?

Friends, before we start, can we just pause for a moment
to appreciate and wonder at the fact
that I am discussing sports metaphors and philosophies
with an Olympic gold medalist and professional motivational speaker?
Because, miracles are real and life is full of wonderful surprises!
Amen. 

This is such a great idea. Hindsight may seem to be of little value for the present moment, until we consider that what we notice when we look back crystallizes for us our values. We can see clearly what we would change if we could, what we are still celebrating so many years later, and what is worth either repeating or forgetting entirely. Also, who knows? Offering what wisdom we discover in hindsight could help someone else.

Since I didn’t start running until my late thirties, I probably missed my prime. More than likely I am already well past my quickest, leanest years. I’ll probably never win a race, but I don’t care because I still plan to finish gobs and gobs of them. Running has changed my mindset and my overall well being in so many ways, I really wish time travel could be real long enough to go have coffee with myself twenty years ago. I’d say these things:

Me (definitely a non runner here) with my little brother Phil and my firstborn beauty, who is now almost the age I was then. Let's have coffee and talk, Young Me! You're doing everything wrong. xoxo
Me (definitely a non runner here) with my little brother Phil and my firstborn beauty, who is now almost the age I was then. Let’s have coffee and talk, Young Me! You’re doing everything wrong. xoxo

 

Just run. Yes, it takes a little time, but you’ll just spend that time doing stupid stuff anyway, like watching Real World or listening to the Cranberries on loop. Plus, and pay close attention here, you need time alone more than you realize. It will do wonders for you emotionally and socially.

Please cancel that dumb Mademoiselle “gym” membership and buy some running shoes. Don’t worry about how you think you look in sweat pants. You’re about to look pretty great.

Your writing will improve, too. Run that tangled mess of words into a streamlined sentence. Keep doing it.

Run! If you want to lose that little bit of weight after carrying two beautiful babies, running and eating better is the answer. Don’t you dare get a prescription for Fen-Phen. Just don’t, even if your doctor says it’s awesome.

Yes, seriously, I know that the new Pearl Jam album is really great. Agreed! But how about you go listen to it while running instead of just laying there with your ancient Walkman getting a sunburn?

You’re going to lose your Grandma not long after your first baby is born. Please start running now so she can see you finish your first marathon. She could be your biggest fan and you know it. She is worried about the path you’re on.

Run with your little sister. She needs it too. You need to be friends right now, before it’s too late. Trust me.

with angela

 

I bet, and I really mean this, that if you take up running and yoga and just slightly better eating, you won’t feel such a need to spend a gazillion dollars at the tanning beds. And by the way? That’s about to be really out of style anyway. Stop now, okay? Be the first to say enough.

If you start running you will feel better about yourself almost immediately. And I know you don’t want to talk about this with anyone who loves you, so listen to me: You need to get out of that toxic relationship earlier, in an adult way, with less destruction to everyone. Running will help. You will walk away peacefully and everyone will be happy for many extra years.

Run out all that stress instead of spinning your wheels in depression. Run so you can get quiet and listen to that voice inside your 20 year old heart saying this is not right, I’m not happy. Get outside and run instead of over thinking everything and talking and talking and talking about it every day. Talking is overrated. Running is a goldmine of mental health that you need to unearth now.

I know it hurts your lungs a little at first, and you wheeze and feel huge and clumsy and weird. But that’s normal! Do it in little increments. Make a plan. Get some encouragement. Have fun! Do not judge the whole experience by this first awkward beginning. Please give yourself a chance, okay?

Life is about to be so great. It’s about to be so amazing, you’ll soon look around and not hardly believe your eyes. Running will only amplify it all.

 

Okay, friends. Coffee with my younger self was nice, although she actually ordered a Dr. Pepper and chili cheese french fries and didn’t think twice about it, which was weird for me. I hope she heeds some of this hindsight advice. Now tell me what you would tell your younger self about health and wellness. I’d really truly love to hear it. And if you are a twenty-something reader today? Take this advice from someone who would love to have made this happy discovery at your age: RUN.

XOXOXOXO