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Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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love the life you live

September 24, 2015

From the black, diamond-studded pre-dawn sky that ushers us to our morning hot tub ritual and first cups of coffee,

to the lava-colored, unbelievable sunsets, and all the chaos and calm we navigate between, this life suits me.

Our fun and failures, tears and laughter, hours of grief and months of bliss. All of it is so good with you.

live the life you love

For all our routines, it seems that no two weeks are alike. Life is moving ever onward, faster and faster sometimes.

I so often feel lost in work and happy exploration, then suddenly panicked for more time, like the park is about to close or the spell about to break. I hate for people to leave a good party.

Then some oak leaves twirl slowly down or I notice a zinnia fading gently, no rush at all, and the buffalo chews his cud. I remember to breathe more deeply, this time choosing to taste the air, sweet and blue, warm and good.

Soaking up the details only returns me to my most natural pace, sun to sun, season to season, just the way it’s supposed to.

I love living this life with you, and I love you.

BW xoxo

XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: daily life, love, Mama Kat, thinky stuff

two books, a comparative dual review

September 22, 2015

This past week I have read two short books that are so similar to each other in theme, they might as well be promoted as a set. They come from different authors, though, and while one is a best selling memoir, the other is a best selling piece of fiction. Both deal with mortality, the meaning of life, and human wisdom gained at the very end. I read one while I was happy and one while I was decidedly not. No surprise, really, that I loved the former and nearly threw the latter across the room after I finished it.

Oh, the power of the reader’s filter.

Anyway, my intention was never to review them in tandem, but the more I think about it, the more I can’t resist. The similarities and differences are pretty interesting.

2 books

Let’s start with the book I read first.

On Friday night last, our wonderful little Oklahoma book club met for dinner and to discuss The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. Everyone gave it glowing reviews; we explored most of the messages thoroughly and gleaned lots of worthwhile discussion fodder; and I walked away feeling deeply soothed and inspired, very much the intended outcome of this title selection, after so many grittier, war-torn, controversial books we’ve read together over the past year. Five People is a slim piece of fiction which tells the story of an old man’s death and his first days in Heaven, though the book addresses the timelessness of God, as though perhaps He subscribes to Al Gore’s fuzzy math. haha As the unusual storytelling progresses, we get meaningful glimpses into Eddie’s childhood, his adulthood, and every pivotal part of his life before he died. The book is divided into five parts, one for each of the people who help guide him through his first days in Heaven. Each person also has a lesson to teach him, a bit of explanation or understanding to offer him about his earthly life. Okay.

Friends, it is an absolutely wonderful little book. It’s short in volume and also written with short, concise sentences. The life lessons feel universal without being preachy or overly indulgent. The story itself, well, let’s just say I read about a third of it while eating lunch alone at Braum’s (FYI their apple-bacon-walnut-grilled chicken salad is amazing!), and I cried openly, unable to hold back tears. Maybe it was the salad talking, but this book is so good. Here are the five life lessons, paraphrased, so you get an idea of the emotional impact:

  1. All people are connected to each other; there are no accidents or stories unrelated to other stories. “No man is an island” kinda stuff.
  2. True personal sacrifice is a necessary part of life and should be embraced. The meaning and fruit of our sacrifices big and small should be celebrated, not bemoaned.
  3. Holding in anger is a poison.
  4. Love never ends, it only changes form and expression.
  5. Each of us has a purpose to serve, no matter how humble our life station seems to be.

I will take creative license here with my book review and add that the sixth and overarching lesson in Five People is that death is not the end. Not by a long shot. I don’t know your personal beliefs, and some would argue that a well loved piece of fiction is just more heaven mythology, but I either happen to believe or choose to believe that death is not the end. Okay. Thoughts on that?

Here is a line that spoke to me so strongly, though I relate it to my children:

Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around on a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.

On to The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. As mentioned above, I read this book while not in a great frame of mind. Surely that colored my opinion, and as much as I hate to criticize any book, I really hate to say anything ill of the deceased. (You probably know this book was authored by a terminally ill man who passed away not long after the book was published. It is based on an actual lecture he delivered several months earlier.) I will say with an attempt at the same sense of humor the author used, that Randy Pausch was known by people who loved him for his inflated ego, for his penchant for frustratingly unyielding scientific argument, and for being (his words) a “recovering jerk.” Let me say that this all definitely bleeds through to the page. And being to married to an otherwise wonderful man who happens to sometimes fit this exact description, and considering that I read this book while sleeping apart from him in the midst of one of the biggest fights of our marriage, well, it’s no surprise that I was annoyed at the author over and over again.

Still. He (Pausch) was brave and generous with his difficult and beautiful story and offered the reader a much longer list of life lessons to consider than did Five People. I won’t list them here because they are so numerous, but I encourage you to read the book for yourself. A highlight for me was around page 133:

I’ll take an earnest person over a hip person every time, because hip is short term. Earnest is long-term. Earnestness is highly underestimated. It comes from the core, while hip is trying to impress you with the surface.

Taking the same creative license as before, I will suggest here that Pausch’s story also teaches that death is not the end, though he tells it more from the standpoint of physical legacy than spiritual eternity. Thoughts on that, friends?

Okie doke. Let’s do some comparison thinking.

Similarities:

  • Both books are emotionally impactful and have spiritual themes, but neither is religious. This is all very nice, in my opinion. Nice nice nice.
  • Both books deal with human mortality and many of the attendant griefs, both for the dying and for the left behind.
  • Each of the dying men (one is fictional, remember) has a chance to distill his life into fairly compact bundles of wisdom. Stuff that most people can relate to.
  • Both men managed to find a “One True Love,” romantically. Each was married to a woman he considered to be the love of his life.
  • I didn’t notice this until just now, but the books are not only similar in size and shape; they are almost exactly the same in length. Five People is 196 pages and Lecture is 206. How about that. I am a fairly slow reader and was able to read each one in less than a day while still taking notes. These would both make excellent airplane or waiting room books, as small as they are to slip in your purse. Or man purse. Or backpack. Or under your big hat. Or in a turkey wrap. Or whatever.

Differences:

  • The most obvious difference is that Five People is a work of fiction (though it was inspired by a real person) and Lecture is an actual memoir, or at least a memoir-ish retelling of a personal-story lecture.
  • One man (Eddie, Five People) dies very old, from a violent accident he never saw coming. The other man (Randy, Lecture) dies young after an extended terminal illness. So one man was gone suddenly with no goodbyes and the other man spent his last months doing little else besides preparing for goodbye.
  • While both were married, Eddie was a widower after several decades with his true love and they never had any children. Randy was only married eight years but had fathered three children.
  • Eddie was not formally educated, a self taught carnival mechanic by trade who felt stuck in the inertia provided by his neglectful father’s life and career. He was faithful to but wholly unfulfilled in his work. Randy, on the other hand, was a PhD, a widely accomplished and celebrated tech field professional and university professor who knew for years that his reach and impact were significant. In contrast to inertia, Randy’s parents were doting and encouraged him to blaze his own trail, and he did.
  • Speaking of that, Eddie didn’t even know what his personal dreams were and was heartbroken by this, while Randy not only knew what his personal dreams were; he made every one of them happen. Or at least he came pretty close.
  • One man (by now you can guess who) was humble to the point that he became bitter over it, crumpled in on himself both emotionally and physically. The other man was egocentric to the point that friends and colleagues had to remind him of humility sometimes. So did his Mom. And so did his wife. This second man was also in peak physical condition despite his grim prognosis, doing push ups on the lecture stage to demonstrate. Not crumpled in at all.

What do you think? Have you read either of these books? Do you agree with my reviews, or maybe take issue with something here? I am super curious what you think. What do you think of the uncanny balance between the two? I really did not see this book relationship coming. I flat out loved reading Five People. And as irritating as it was to read Lecture while angry at my own husband, I am glad the thin little book popped out to my eyes from the bookshelf that night. Pausch offered us lots of great food for thought, and it calmed me down, too. Both reads were wins for me.

Okay. Spill your literary guts. And thank you so much for checking in here, as always.

“Love, like rain, can nourish from above,
drenching couples with a soaking joy.

But sometimes, under the angry heat of life,
love dries on the surface

and must nourish from below,
tending to its roots, keeping itself alive.”

~Mitch Albom
XOXOXOXO

p.s. Here is that delish salad from Braum’s. Go getcha’ one. : )

braums salad

 

 

 

 

 

5 Comments
Filed Under: book reviews, thinky stuff

people and a vision

September 13, 2015

Yesterday afternoon Handsome and I spent some time working at the church. It was just the two of us, and we had a short list of tasks we wanted to accomplish. But something unexpected happened that caused me to take a long, hard look at my own heart. I walked away feeling very different. Changed. Which is what church is supposed to do for us, right? Even if it’s just a work day?

Let me briefly set the stage by explaining that for us in this season of life, “church” is an elusive concept. It probably doesn’t resemble anything you normally think of when you hear the word. Just being at the building can produce emotions ranging from joy to anger, wistful melancholy, frustration, loneliness, bitterness, and then, either out of the blue or with some effort, bubbling hope. Overwhelming excitement for the future. Going to church is far from a mechanical weekend ritual for us right now. And I suppose that’s a good thing. God is speaking to us in unprecedented ways, almost randomly, with all the tradition and habit, all the human distraction, stripped away.

Okay.

The day was mild. Warmish-cool with abundant sunshine, wide open blue skies, and a ticklish breeze. As we unloaded borrowed wedding tables and began mowing and weed eating the lawns, I was in one of the bitter moments. I had to consciously push negative thoughts out of my mind, and then I remembered the lessons about not resisting so much as replacing, so I fished for images that would inspire me. Images like a north-facing flower bed overflowing with fall blooms, a freshly painted church kitchen fragrant with the meals we hope to provide soon, and music streaming through open doors. I tried really hard to conjure up an idea of how things could be for us here. I gave thanks for all the miracles that have been poured out after prayers were said here. Because this mental tactic always works, my attitude gradually improved, and my energy increased. Then we got a visitor.

The elderly, retired pastor from the church directly across the street walked over and struck up a conversation with Handsome. He was there on a Saturday with the statewide conference for his denomination. They are long time acquaintances, these two families, and it’s good for them to reconnect. But the gentleman doesn’t really know what has been happening in our family since we lost Judy, only that we obviously are not having Sunday morning services right now. This begs lots of obvious questions.

My husband navigated the conversation with grace, I could sense this every time I passed the pair of men, but I knew he was being economical with his words. Careful not to plumb too deep into painful waters. Instead of stopping to join the chat like I normally would do, I continued working. Sort of rebelliously, to make a point. As the friendly moment turned into five minutes, then ten, then thirty, I grew increasingly frustrated. Handsome was being held up which meant that our stay would be longer and longer, no matter how much I accomplished on my own. My reverie about a healthy, fruitful church community was being eroded by all the things I wanted to be doing at the farm, all the fun ways I craved to spend our weekend. I felt more and more resentful about this interruption to our Saturday, about the fact that no one else is here to help us, about how alone we feel most of the time. It was a pretty gross downward spiral. I am good at those.

And of course, this perfectly wonderful elderly gentleman did what lots of men this age do, he repeated himself extensively. Most of the conversation was just him saying the same things over and over again, not really listening to his audience at all. Handsome nodded affectionately a lot, offered bits of answers when the man asked the same question over and over. You know. But I was impatient. I cannot stand for people to waste my time.

Friends, if that sounds really ugly to you just reading it, know that as soon as I registered this thought in my own mind I felt sick to my stomach. I am really ashamed to have even allowed the thought, but I’m sharing it now because it’s a big part of the story. I guess it’s also my confession.

So as the time passed and I forced myself to reign in frustration and bitterness, control my emotions better, God allowed me to hear a very important slice of their conversation. I abandoned most of my bad attitude and walked up to the men at just the perfect moment.

The elderly retired pastor and my husband had been sharing ideas of the two communities’ hopes and dreams for the future. How might we serve the neighborhood? Are we moving into the future according to God’s will? Beautiful stuff. Stuff totally worth some time on Saturday afternoon, despite the younger man’s selfish, hurried wife. Then I heard it, the quotable thing.

The elderly pastor was joking about how a church needs people, willing workers who can sacrifice time as well as money. Very much to myself I had a series of snarky thoughts on this subject. All I said aloud was, “Yes, time is the hardest thing to sacrifice sometimes.” Handsome and I made eye contact. He gave me a half smile and weary eyes. He knew exactly what I meant and is normally even more greedy with his time than I was in this moment. But at church, this is his rodeo, his traumatic healing more than mine. I backed down.

Then we pan back to the elderly retired pastor:

“The Bible says without a vision the people are lost. And then I say with the people a vision is lost!”

He have a long round of generous, warm hearted laughter then we joined him. He cannot have known how much I needed the exact combination of his bold speech and loving tone. Humor delivers hard things so well, right?

It sank into me rapidly. Musically, almost. Is it that instant for you? Without the people a vision is lost. It’s not scripture; it’s just one man’s inspired moment or bit of humor or something. But it does point back to scripture. Back to the New Testament lessons about the church being the hands and the feet of Christ. Willing workers giving of ourselves to act out His love on earth. And if our current situation “at church,” air quotes because it’s such an elusive concept right now, isn’t an example of how much we need this, I just don’t know what is. We have so many hopes and dreams for how things could be, how much help we could provide, but how will we do it?

The end of yesterday’s story is happy. We traded so many loving words with the man, this old friend of Handsome’s family, and reaffirmed our intention to both stay in touch and help each other along the way. Handsome finished his jobs and I finished mine, then we loaded up to leave right on time. Despite the very inconvenient interruption to my very selfish Saturday, it’s as if no extra time had passed. That’s how God works sometimes. He can literally stretch the moments and fill them with exactly what you need.

As for the question of how will we do it? The answer is: One work day at a time, with consistent obedience and more humility. If the vision is sound, the right people will cross our path. Or we will do it alone.

Maybe instead of focusing on who is no longer here, I need to acknowledge that we are being called here still. We count. We can do hard things, worthwhile things, and maybe without us a vision will be lost. Maybe that? Or maybe, keep the vision and the people will come. Maybe that?

2 chairs

Now I sound like The Field of Dreams. Sorry friends. haha But thank you for listening. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings to sort out. Thanks for joining us here and sending goodness and love! I am amazed at how God walks us through these seasons of life.

“She will hold his hand and tell him 
God is proud of him for being a good boy on his birthday,
and that will make the world feel right side up again.”
~Mitch Albom,
The Five People You Meet in Heaven
XOXOXOXO

 

 

6 Comments
Filed Under: anecdotes, church, daily life, faith, memories, thinky stuff

infinite jest and all the rest (literary saturday)

September 12, 2015

Happy Saturday! Whew, what a week! Handsome and I have recovered nicely from a non-stop month that was filled to bursting with really good, happy, special occasions. He has been back at the Commish after a long holiday weekend, more than making up for lost time in the stress department, and I am caught up at the farm, except for the ironing.

And except for my running. But that’s a story for another day.

The thing is, I cannot find my earbuds, so…

What are you reading these days? What’s on your table, your device, your mind?

Klaus is an excellent reading companion. Because he is basically perfect...xoxo
Klaus is an excellent reading companion. Basically because he is perfect…xoxo

I have been nibbling at Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. And when I say nibbling I mean… I have only been reading it in the middle of the night when insomnia strikes, and the book is so wordy, so meandering and heavily laden with footnotes (!) that at 2 a.m. with raw nerves and heavy eyes might be the worst possible time to tackle this beast. It’s magnetic in a bizarre way, and its modern classic status makes me want to give it better energy. Plus the cinematic version is due soon and I need to be ready to pick it apart, right? haha ; )

Besides that, I have just cracked open our current book club selection, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. Dinner Club With a Reading Problem meets next Friday night to discuss it, so you can look for my review soon. Have you read this yet? Or perhaps Tuesdays With Morrie? I am so curious and also very much in need of something refreshing and spiritually nourishing.

Okay, fancy some internet links? I’ve been stumbling on great stuff lately.

MyDomaine offered this write-up called Daily Habits of 8 Insanely Successful Creatives. Yes, please. I am interested.

Lora is the Crazy Running Girl, and I hope I have nudged you to read her blog already. This post Your Own Worst Critic was super helpful to me. I am smack dab in the middle of decidedly NOT meeting some fitness goals, goals that should have been easy for me. I have spent way too much time and energy being mad about it, which has led to a little downward spiral in my attitude. She kinda helped me halt that thinking and see some good qualities of myself again. For example, I have been sacrificing workouts and stringent eating in favor of spending time with people I love and partaking of really great celebrations. This is okay! It’s life balance. Thanks Lora! xo

If you are an Okie like me, you have probably heard of and are hopefully following along the adventures of Red Dirt Kelly and her team at Every Point on the Map. The project is slated to take all of ten years. As the project name hints, they are visiting every city, town, county, or other dot on the map of our beautiful state, then conducting spontaneous interviews with one person from there. How cool, right? This recent post titled When Doubt Hits, Hit the Gas is a heart breaker and a heart mender too. Excellent place to jump right in if you are new to this series. By the way, Kelly and her team are soon throwing a big party in midtown OKC to celebrate having achieved ten percent of their goal. Yay!! Congrats, you guys!! I am so looking forward to seeing the gorgeous portraits of each of your interview subjects and also hugging your sweet, smart necks.

Are you in love with Khalil Gibran poetry? I am. I have been since I was a teenager, particularly The Prophet. Salma Hayeck recently appeared on Jimmy Fallon’s show to talk about her work on an upcoming animated feature, a musical that is all based on Gibran’s work. It looks just gorgeous. Well, check out this article on Edutopia. It’s a little nudge to middle school teachers to use Gibran in their curriculum. I am no teacher, but I know plenty and love this approach. Also? The passage highlighted happens to be one of my favorites. I have reflected on it a lot over the years, and it has really graced my motherhood.

orange gibran quote children

How about 23 Things Only People Raised by Really Strict Parents Will Understand? You had me at “people raised by really strict parents.” In this equation I am both mother and daughter, just as Handsome is both father and son. Fun read!

Since it is Literary Saturday after all, how about this list of Ten Science Fiction Books You Pretend to Have Read and Why You Should Actually Read Them? I have truly read one (1984) and am currently reading another (Infinite Jest). I have no reason to pretend with you guys.

Okay, that’s all I have for now. I hope you took a glance at my garden tour sneak peek and are watching for eight expansive and illustrated posts, one for each of the gorgeous places we visited. I am almost done with the first one. So much to say!

Wishing you a very happy weekend, friends. Keep facing the light.

“If you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time
(or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
~Stephen King
XOXOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments
Filed Under: literary saturdays, reading, thinky stuff

prepare: nighttime routines

September 6, 2015

Hey, happy Labor Day, happy Monday! How are you doing?

My days of the week and hours of those days are all a bit off right now. We have been partying and celebrating life’s various milestones like crazy people, happy crazy people, and of course a ton of work comes along with all this much joy. So Handsome and I are EX-HAUS-TED. In the best possible ways.

Handsome turns 40!
Handsome turns 40!
Kate & Dillon say their vows with friends and family to witness...xoxo
Kate & Dillon say their vows with friends and family to witness…xoxo
Our beautiful girl visits Oklahoma and, quite against my wishes, turns 20 and leaves again, haha. ; )
Our beautiful girl visits Oklahoma and, quite against my wishes, turns 20 and leaves again, haha. ; )

Tomorrow we will more or less go back to normal work routines, so tonight I will spend a few minutes preparing for that. You know, just twenty or thirty minutes rounding things up and setting them in order so that bright and early tomorrow morning we can hit the ground running. Literally, in my case. : )

This happens to be great timing to reflect on how I prepare for the coming new week, because my local wordish friends at Oklahoma Women Bloggers are asking exactly that question. Click here for a link up of everyone’s answers.

Our evening routine is pretty simple, and Handsome and I have fallen into a gentle cooperation that wraps it all up in less than half an hour. These little rituals set us up for a smooth and stimulating sunrise.

  • Dishes rinsed and in the dish washer, kitchen clean, wiped down, sink scrubbed and dried, kitchen floor swept. I call this whole process “zipping” as in, “Oh I’ll just zip this up, only take a minute.”
  • Trash from the kitchen and two main bathrooms bagged up and taken outside. Smells are a big deal to me. This is why during this half hour nighttime work I usually burn a fragrant candle. I love waking up and entering a nice-smelling downstairs.
  • Dirty laundry collected from around the house (there’s never much when it’s just us two), sometimes a full load started at night so it can then dry in the early morning hours when electricity is cheap.
  • Downstairs basically tidied up. Not clean, just neat looking, throw pillows not crazy looking, so that the first thing we see at 6 a.m. tomorrow is not chaos but a peaceful, welcoming living room flooded with sunlight.
  • Pacino tucked into bed, which at this time of year means his large cage is rolled indoors.
  • Geese and chickens shepherded into their coop and yard. Speaking of shepherding, Klaus is getting really good at helping with this! He bites less and less and is learning how to run in overlapping, opposing curves to funnel the birds where they belong.
  • Coffee machine is filled with exactly 7.2 scoops of dark ground coffee plus a full carafe of cold water, and the automatic brew timer is set. I kinda have to do this in an exact way or I have to start all over. I make sure a mason jar filled with whole coffee beans is stocked with teaspoons and set out a couple of our favorite mugs. Waking up to perfect coffee with a comfortable, attractive spot near the window is pretty luxurious.
  • Before we walk upstairs and toward our end of the house, we say good night to Klaus and kiss him into his crate. I mean, sometimes he sleeps with us, but he is growing by leaps and bounds, so he takes up so much room. So much.
  • Change out of the day’s clothes and make sure I have some running gear ready for the morning.
  • Wash my face, brush my teeth, maybe do a few yoga poses or nighttime stretches. Lamp. Ceiling fan. So much romance.

coffee station

 

Thinking of the particulars of our routine begs the question why? Why do this and that and everything? Well, the simple answer is to make life better. To make it more beautiful and us healthier and more comfortable.

When Handsome and I were first married I read a thick book, cover to cover, that details just about every aspect of modern home keeping. It was both encyclopedic and poetic, but I cannot remember the title now. Anyway, the author used the word “demoralizing” a lot, in reference to everything you want to avoid in your home keeping routines. For example, and I am paraphrasing here but obviously it made a big impression on me: “There is nothing more demoralizing at the end of a long, hard day than crawling into a dirty, rumpled, unkempt bed.” Do you agree? I agree. And I would say the same thing about walking on a dirty floor, trying to enjoy that first cup of morning coffee in a messy, sticky kitchen, or using into a stinky bathroom when you’re just trying to get clean yourself.

Anyway.

These routines are soothing. They are mechanical to me now and totally peaceful, conducive to a deep sleep and a smooth tomorrow. They are small investments of time and energy that yield big, wonderful rewards, especially when I perform them with a conscious sense of gratitude for what they accomplish. Especially when I move just slowly enough to press the details into my skin.

What are your evening routines like? How do you prepare for tomorrow?

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings,
turn routine jobs into joy,
and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
~William Arthur Ward
XOXOXOXO

 

 

3 Comments
Filed Under: daily life, Oklahoma bloggers, thinky stuffTagged: OKWB

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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