Since way back in my ten speed days, I have been a huge Planet of the Apes fan.   Like so many great television shows and movies from that era, this series boasted just the right amount of kitsch to be classic and delicious.  It posed a dozen important moral dilemmas and social questions at once but could never be taken too seriously because of the terribly flat green screens, inconsistent face masks, and overly dramatic close ups. 



   I like the original movies from 1968 starring Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowall.  I reeeaaally like the 2001 Mark Wahlberg reboot.  I am eagerly anticipating the James Franco prequel later this week.  Awaiting it even more eagerly than I am (gasp) the Hunger Games film.  

   Yes, I said it.  Am I kicked out of book club permanently?

   The issues Apes raises are always worth revisiting:

   GOSH the list goes on and on!  What’s NOT to love about this story series?

   But importance aside, these movies are full of monkeys.  I (heart) monkeys.  And the other Planet of the Apes images are absolutely irresistible to dorky girls like me.



I totally groove on the adobe chimp houses, all decorated in perfect 1960’s macrame style. 

I am happily terrified by the gorillas’ dark, militant aggression. 

Depending on my mood, sometimes I root for them.

Oddly enough, it’s the pacifist orangutans that scare me most. 

Let’s pretend like Zira and Cornelius are Couch Surfers.

They are welcome at the farm anytime!

And Nova’s loincloth wardrobe? 

Yep, my personal fitness goal is to look  exactly like she does in this outfit

and have naturally smooth, shiny legs at all times.

Apparently, along with human civilization, the future has done away with Velcro.

  

   Never has an Apes installment ran on television that I changed the channel and opted to watch something else.  These movies and reruns have the ability to nullify my to-do lists and cause me to pop popcorn and curl up in our Green Room like the outside world doesn’t exist.  And I never feel guilty about the diversion because, as mentioned, the content is plenty beefy enough.  If pressed on how those hours of my life were spent, I can always answer, “pondering the larger issues and struggling with my humanity.”

   Take away my Apes, will you?  “You bloody bastard.”