from unfocused to zen

Spring has sprung in Oklahoma, and soon even the stodgy old calendar will agree. My days are filled with worthwhile activity. My heart is brimming with hope and excitement for the immediate future. My mouth actually waters every time I notice a new pink or yellow bloom or that stunning wash of emerald-green in the middle field (which seemed to happen overnight). This week’s soaking rains have rinsed everything so clean, and the breeze is so mild again, that our air has a plump sweetness. It’s delicious. And it carries birdsong in that old, soft cotton, memorized-poem kind of way that we all love so much, especially at daybreak.

But I haven’t been feeling perfectly springtime-ish every day. Sometimes it takes some effort.

Handsome indulged me early this morning in a little coaching session. Or maybe you’d call it a pep talk or just a nice conversation between husband and wife about life lately. I shared with him that I am feeling a bit scattered, spread too thinly, and unfocused. And what he shared in return was so helpful. I have great respect for him. His words carry a lot of weight in my heart and mind, so his encouragement gave me a much-needed reset. He said to remember that everyone sometimes feels that way when they carry a variety of responsibilities and balance various priorities. (I don’t claim to carry the weight of the world; but I do manage a crazy-quilt lifestyle. It can be, well, crazy.) My guy said calmly that what you do is the first most important thing, then the next, then the next. Stay in control of your time and energy and know that you cannot do all of it all at once and that it is okay to set limits and say no. (I am paraphrasing, but he doesn’t mind.)

Simple, right? But the incoming tide of asks and offers and demands on our time and energy can be so brutal. Sometimes the world sees a person who doesn’t work outside the home and assumes that his or her free time is limitless and energy bottomless. And sometimes these people have a hard time saying no.

Our conversation was like a deep breath of that cool, sweet Oklahoma air. Cleansing. After he left for the Commish I comforted our dog because Klaus pouts for about ten minutes after his Daddy leaves, then I spent an hour doing just the first most important things on my day’s list, without letting my thoughts be pulled in every other direction, and I felt so energized. Soon I had a few minutes to notice again the details of this beautiful morning.

That is what I would add to my husband’s very good advice: When you’re feeling overwhelmed and scattered, start by focusing on small, beautiful details. Aim some of your energy at gratitude and allow your heart to settle on the gifts already at your feet. Then your mind will be more free to zero in on what must be done.

I love this combination approach of focus and gratitude. And articulating it now, I see that it’s a good blend of him and me.

God Bless Hot Tub Summits
XOXOXOXO