Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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my bliss list for august

September 1, 2017

Hello and happy last day of August. I kinda can’t believe what the calendar is declaring, especially compared to what the weather is whispering. But here we are, well past the halfway mark for the year and once again taking stock of so much joy. 

After writing these privately for several months, I’m sharing for the first time my personally curated “Bliss List,” as inspired by an Austin based blogging team The Hungry Yogis. I hope you groove this. 

Farm Stuff…

  • Those chicks that hatched over Memorial Day weekend are growing like happy, bouncy little weeds. Their scruffy feathers have smoothed out, too, and they have found a place in the flock.
  • So much lush, green grass everywhere. Barefoot quality stuff. Cool, velvety lawns devoid of sticker patches. Bliss.
  • Hummingbirds smother the zinnias especially.
  • Speaking of zinnias, they are outstanding this month! As are the sunflowers, oregano, chocolate mint, roses, basil, lemongrass, morning glories, and more. The easiest plants to grow, sure, but no less blissful in their abundance.
  • We have a deer family visit from the Pine Forest several times per week. All month they have gathered at the pond around 5:45 a.m.
  • A baby hawk recently hatched. When it screams at us, we feel like we are in a Heman/Skeletor cartoon.
  • Natasha actually caught and killed a field mouse. It’s a miracle. She paraded it around for days.
  • And we discovered two baby kittens in the barn! Pretty certain that Giant Yellow Forest Cat is the daddy.
  • Fat, healthy, happy horses who (this is a new development) don’t mind fly spray anymore. Bliss for them and for me.
  • This month we collected far more fresh eggs than we could eat and had plenty to share.
  • Herbs, peppers, and leafy greens (kale and arugula) continued to grow the whole month, with constant little harvests. So fun.
  • We picked up an order of fresh hay in early August. The big, heavy bales are fragrant and gorgeous and should last until winter. Bliss to be stocked up.
  • The honeybees are multiplying again and are still building up their honey stores. It’s all pretty magical.
  • Velvet and Lincoln have been staying at the farm!! We all love having them here. So much fun. And it has been a character building experience for Mr. Only Child aka Klaus.
  • My husband has been mowing the grassy areas adjacent to our gravel driveway into curving wildflower meadows. I call it the “Curves and Edges Meadow.” The long, south edge is part of the front field, where Chunk-hi used to live. The earth there is not only healing; it is bursting with new life, a brand new wildness. The poetry is pretty hard to miss.

Personal Stuff…

  • I cut my bangs once this month and did not botch them. Cool.
  • Running has been on a steady uptick, my plantar situation healing nicely and my mileage increasing slowly each week, up to 130.56 for August. Running = bliss.
  • I found a new running trail near the farm! Having options is nice, especially for long-ish miles.
  • My health overall has been great, in fact. I feel easily vibrant, aware of not having chronic troubles. I appreciate it more and more as a gift, not a given.
  • Gutting the Apartment and starting a big redecorating project up there has been deeply satisfying. Like shedding old skin and starting fresh.
  • The book Code Red and all the intense charting I’ve done this summer really came into focus this month. I have enjoyed some fascinating insights and uncanny celestial coincidences. Three or fours women in my life might be about ready for me to stop coercing them to read the book, haha.
  • I am so happy to have made room in my schedule for things that really matter. This particular life improvement showed clearly this past month, and I am grateful. 
  • Good solid contact with my most beloved people. August brought lots of amazing surprises, and I will remember it forever.
  • So many glowing neon signs in life right now, pointing me straight to writing. It has been a month for good, solid alignment of signs, circumstances, and my heart’s desires.
  • August was another month of food triumphs. I could write a book on all the excellent nourishment we enjoyed. Not a cookbook, probably. Just lots of descriptions, ha.

Friends and Family Stuff…

  • We spent lots of quality time with our people this month. From intimate dinners to afternoons with nieces and nephews and of course that 5K downtown, then our big Lazy W Talent Show, August was packed with fun and meaningful socializing. We are surrounded with people who really magnify LOVE.
  • And one Friday night we drove to Norman to see my cousin perform her music live! Such a great night with family, and she is wonderfully talented.
  • I dreamed of my Grandpa all month for some reason. A few times I woke up thinking he was still alive, and that reality stung, but the dreams were sweet and warm and happy. I also happened to find some old letters from him, while cleaning out the Apartment. I think the arugula growing so well has kept him in my every day. Smells, after all, are so powerful.
  • I got to meet Marisa Mohi in person, finally! We had lunch then coffee to discuss bloggish things, then she and Rosie Puppins came to the farm last weekend for our Talent Show. Such a stellar human. I am very happy to know her.

 

Universal Stuff…

  • The eclipse was so refreshing and inspiring. Do you agree? Everyone pausing all day, collectively inhaling and watching the sky, drawn together to focus on something bigger and simpler and far more beautiful than the messes and suffering we have made for each other.
  • Noticing the orchestration of friendships. How sometimes we need someone we have only just met, and they need us too, or other times the familiarity of people who really know your history wraps you up at the perfect moment. The Universe knows us, knows what we need, knows what we have to offer, and is able to weave it all together into a pretty spectacular masterpiece if we relax and allow it to happen. So nice. 
  • This seed of an idea has germinated in my head: That competition can be a waste of energy in intimate relationships. I would love to hear your thoughts on this! But this is on my Bliss List because the notion of complementing each other rather than competing with each other is so sweet and soothing.
My husband snapped this photo of the Oklahoma State Capitol during the eclipse. Unfiltered, so dim and suspenseful.

Friends, thanks for listening. Thanks for checking in. It’s always nice to share the every day blissful details with you. And thank you, Hungry Yogis, for the luscious inspiration!

I hope you are well. I hope if you have loved ones in south Texas that they are safe and secure. 

Trust in Love. Count the tiny pleasures, let them multiply.

“If you are to love, 
love like the moon.
It does not steal the night
it only unveils the beauty of the dark.”
~Isra Al-Thibeh
XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: 1000gifts, animals, bliss, daily life, faith, gardening, gratitude, memories, running, thinky stuff

in defense of positive thinking, “The Secret,” etc.

August 19, 2017

I woke up early Friday, at 4:47 a.m. in fact, thinking about this. About how so many people are missing out because they have a weird, tangly, sandpaper view of the simple belief that our thoughts are actual power sources.

You guys. Indulge me. Let’s back away from pop-culture fads and failures and just chat. I promise to not pass the collection plate or tell you what clothes to wear. 

I want you to consider (or reconsider) that our thoughts are silent, renewable, orchestratable, abundant sources of power and energy. Or maybe, that they are conduits for the powers that can flow through us. Everything that exists or happens begins with thoughts and intentions. And thoughts literally alter the Universe.

I believe this fact as strongly as I believe that watermelon and tortilla chips are what I will request as my last meal if given the chance.

But seriously. Positive thinking has a funky reputation, maybe because it sounds like all wooden-beads-and-excessive-patchouli. Or maybe because we are barely a generation away from those folks who died with rolls of quarters in their pockets and hopes of spaceship ascension to paradise.

I get it. And I’m sorry to mock other religions, no matter how bizarre and dangerous they obviously are. I also get that most thinking adults do not want to be associated with fringe belief systems right now. It’s crazy times, and all.

But this stuff is so easy and good. It risks nothing. It’s nature, after all.

always face the light

With regard to matters of faith and philosophy, I see that most people in my life fall into one of three camps:

  1. Traditional Christian values, with the known wide array of dogmatic expressions (Oklahoma = Bible Belt)
  2. Sternly scientific and logical, with a results-and-reason-based work ethic (action-based morals, largely)
  3. Atheist or agnostic (just eff it all man)

That’s all cool. Truly. More power to each of us to explore, discover, and articulate the things we believe to be true.

What I am offering for your consideration does not challenge any of that. Pinky promise.

Because all of us have thoughts. We are thinkers by nature. We can’t even help thinking. Some people think so much they need help to slow it down and numb out a little. And (this is my solid belief) those thoughts are all wildly powerful signals to the Universe, whether the thinker of those thoughts realizes it or not. Every human being, regardless of both religious constraints and life circumstances, has an unlimited wealth of power stored in his or her mind. 

So why not harness it? Why not at least try?

Okay. Right now as we chat, two things are happening in my brain, and maybe in yours too:

On one side, the old school Christian voice is whining excitedly and sucking her front teeth at me, prissing, “Now little girl, that sure smacks of humanism! Sounds like someone’s a Rainbow Brite doll away from the mark of the beast!” 

(Did you imagine Dana Carvey just now, wearing a wig and a polyester skirt suit? Me too.)

Meanwhile, a sexier but less enthusiastic voice is purring from the other side of my skull, just oozing unhappiness: “Yeah, sounds nice, but that’s BS and you know it. If your thoughts are so powerful then why do you have so many real problems?”

(That voice for me belongs to Angelina Jolie. Infinitely beautiful and seductive but dried up on the inside, miserable, cruel, constantly seeking what she cannot find. Who was it for you?)

I really do get it. Both the disbelief, the indifference, and the mild repulsion to “positive thinking” as even an ingredient for faith.

(Sorry, I do not possess internal dialogue for atheism and not know how to assign that one a voice. If you do, please share!)

The place of faith where I have landed is less like a mix the three camps and more of a completely separate level or reality that actually connects them all. This is complementary, not competitive.

Your thoughts can serve as a beautiful support net that strengthens, illuminates, and girds up your existing system of faith. In fact, it kinda should. I have found that if my inner thought patterns contradict what I am seeking in prayer, if I am wringing my hands with worry as I pray, imagining the worst, then my prayers don’t get answered the way I say I want them to be. Does that make sense? Thankfully, the exact opposite is also true.

I have a handful of personal stories to share that are pretty good mile-markers in my own little evolution of belief. I will work on some blog posts to tell those stories, but for now…

Please join me on a brief vacation from worry. Treat it like a fun experiment, if you like that kind of thing. Just get really still and honest with yourself about the things you want in life (not the things you don’t want, that’s key) and, the rest is pretty simple… Start thinking about them. But do it more vividly and with more dogged positive energy than ever before.

Start thinking about them. But do it more vividly and with more dogged positive energy than ever before. Drum it up from deep inside yourself!

Continue working on your goals and living your daily life and being accountable for your actions, always. And maintain your prayer life, whatever that means to you. Thinking strong, constructive, loving thoughts is a nourishment to all of those efforts. 

Let your mind fall easily and happily on the details of your heart’s desires, like it’s playtime in your heart and brain. In your free moments, while you’re exercising, if you’re in the shower and the warm water loosens your mind. Try falling asleep thinking about what you want for the future; it’s much more fun than privately scanning an unaccomplished to-do list, and I bet you’ll sleep more soundly. 

This is meant to be lots of fun and hopefully spark some discussion. The expectation is not that suddenly all of your dreams will come true and all of your problems will evaporate. The expectation is that you will get a spark of control over the positive energy buried in your mind. Also, though, I happen to know that the thoughts you choose (during this experiment and anytime) are like seeds that will germinate and can manifest at any time in the future. I just don’t want to convince you of too much at once, haha : )

Maybe you will feel emotionally better day by day or begin to sense more possibility and gratitude in your life, if you are usually worn down by the limits and the negatives. Maybe you will detect an opportunity for healing in a broken relationship or solve some practical problems. Maybe something truly uncanny will happen as a result of your focused thinking (this is how it happened for me) and you will be like, WHOA. 

I’ll be checking back in about this. I am so excited for you. And thank you for indulging me today!

If you want to read a few past posts about this, here ya go:

  1. Mitt Romney (my husband is a skeptic)
  2. Diamonds, Dreams, and Worry Doors
  3. The Worry Door

Heading out now to see some friends and enjoy another hot and humid summer evening in Oklahoma. We’ll be looking for that technicolor sunset again.

Think well.
XOXOXO

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: aha moment, faith, thinky stuff

happy birthday to my bookend baby brother!!

August 17, 2017

Today is my baby brother’s birthday!!

John Philip Dunaway. Born with a dark brown mohawk stripe of hair straight down his infant head. Piercing black eyes his whole life. Long baby legs that grew him into the tallest of our five siblings.

When Phil was little he loved costumes. I mostly remember Superman and the Power Rangers being a big deal. He loved the Dallas Cowboys (and still does, I believe). Not to mention OU football and basketball. My guess is that of all the kids and grandkids, Phil went to more college games with Grandpa Stubbs than anyone.

He was doted on by all of us. Partly because he was the baby; also because he had a series of health scares and surgeries that made us all so grateful he was okay and still with us. But mostly because he was just fun to love, and he always has been. He still is.

My first sister, Angela, holding newborn Philip. She made herself his second mama. xoxo

Of course, there is that business about Mom and Dad being fantastically more lax with his upbringing, allowing contraband in the house like soda and he was allowed to eat dinner by the television. (gasp) Hahaha

Phil (he is known as John, inexplicably, to his adult friends and work colleagues) is the most level and consistent person I know. He can take a salty joke without being offended but dishes it out equally, be warned. He is as solid and golden as people get to be. He always brings excellent desserts to family potlucks. He joins in the fun unassumingly, always loving and friendly to people of all ages. Including strangers. We can always count on him to socialize with our friends, and he reaches out to the entire extended family too. He makes time for people like it’s the easiest thing in the world. On the rare occasion that he cannot attend a gathering, he is sorely missed.

Philip always hugs immediately and many times when we see each other, which is a big deal to me. I look forward to his hugs.

Noone knows more trivia than he does. And he has a brain for cataloging details. I remember when he was young, early grade school age, he would often observe quietly then announce statistics in the room, for example, how many men and how many women, how many people wearing a certain color or stripes versus solids, who is eating the dessert or watching the movie and who is not, stuff like that, but eventually it got more interesting. And he was so precise about it.

He still notices things and weighs them in ways that most of us do not grasp.

My baby brother is a fantastic uncle to his nieces and nephews. Being the youngest by far, he started his Uncle Phil career young, of course, so he has had lots of practice. He loves Jocelyn, Dante, Jessica, Chloe, Kenzie, Greg, and Connor equally and abundantly, and they all love him right back.

Philip never misses a birthday, and he always sends the best cards, often the very expensive musical kind, always perfectly suited to the recipient and scrawled with his name plus a funny personal message. We have saved a box full of such treasures from him.

with Greg in San Diego, 2013

Our baby brother is a prolific traveler, spending his own time and money to visit our coastal sibs also more often than anyone else does. He has been a dedicated Knight of Columbus with our Dad for many years and volunteers generously. I believe if you have ever met him, you are friends with him. Period.

Something I love about Phil is his penchant for exactness in conversation. He doesn’t let us get away with much error or ambiguity, ha! But I love that. And I love that he is a willing texter, too, easy to keep in contact with.

We are the bookend kids of our Flammy, and I like that very much.

I cannot imagine life without Phil’s sweet, solid, funny, intelligent heart.

I hope you know how much I love you, little brother, and I hope we see you this weekend!

Happiest of Birthdays!!
XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: birthdays, family, love, memories, Philip

after the full moon

August 10, 2017

Monday delivered another unseasonably cool August daybreak. Walking from the kitchen door across the south lawn, two steaming mugs of perfect coffee in hand, I first noticed the humidity and then alternating pockets of warm and cool air. My eyesight was still blurry and dreamlike, barely awake, so in those stumbly moments, the brackish air around me seemed to manifest blue and pink, puffy handfuls of varying temperatures. It was an illusion, I knew that, but a gorgeous one.

To my left, of course, the sky actually was colorful. Oklahoma sun rises are surpassed in kaleidoscope beauty only by Oklahoma sunsets. Monday was no exception. Blues, pinks, and oranges. Silver and gold.

Later that day, after an easy run and half a day’s work, I walked back through this same space, west this time, downhill toward the shade garden. The sky had lowered and turned a suede gray. Still humid, but the air was stirred up now, all blended into one smooth, mellow flavor. Birds called from every side the way they often do only at dawn. Tree frogs and locusts raised the volume.

Full moon singing.

I spent some time cutting back sunflowers that were damaged from weekend thunderstorms. Thinking the whole time about Jessica turning twenty, I gathered enough for a hefty bouquet, set aside lots of dried seedheads for next year’s garden, and donated the rest to the horses and chickens.

(Besides sunflowers, did you know our horses will also eat arugula? Weirdos.)

Klaus kept me company most of the time, but he was often distracted by Meh splashing in the pond or crickets burrowing in the soft earth. My loyal pup appeared at my side half a dozen times with a muddy snoot and spiky-wet legs, belly, and tail. Little-boy happiness pulsing off of him.

I continued on emptying the raised beds of weeds and bolted leafy greens.

It’s a wonderful full moon task, this garden clean up. Right now is the perfect time for culling dead things, releasing what is damaged, and then letting everything rest. Since Monday I have grabbed an hour or two here and there, cleaning flower beds and working over exhausted vegetable plots, trying to help the farm catch its breath at this special time of the moon phase. Soon we will get another deep drink of rain, and more August heat, so this rest will be put to good use for new growth.

Just like in life, you know?

Wednesday night we drove to nearby Harrah to purchase a few round bales of hay for the bachelors.

Klaus accompanied us and smiled literally the entire time. I swear he puts of a certain kind of heat from his abundant joy. He loves truck rides so much.

When we arrived back at the farm and pulled through the barn to unload, Chanta, Dusty, and Meh thundered uphill and found us pretty quickly. They nibbled at a hay bale that was still wedged in the truck bed while Handsome wrestled, rolled, shoved, and pulleyed the other three behemoths into the barn. (We will eventually invest in a tractor with a hay spike; until then, it’s my husband’s brute strength that keeps things happening around here.)

We later dropped that delicious contraband over near the bonfire pit and deck yard, beneath some oak trees. I walked-rolled the big aluminum hay ring across the farm to encircle the feast.

I love fresh hay. Fragrant, tender, all shades of grassy neutrals and some green threads too. I love massive, dense bales that seem to be concrete blocks wrapped up in a flaky layer of goodness. Being stocked up makes me deeply content.

Early this morning, we took another walk south with perfect coffee in hand. Our Hot Tub Summit ritual continues. The farm was half wet from gentle overnight rain. The clouds were dappled, this daybreak as colorful as Monday’s but much warmer. The horses were standing at the new bale of hay, beneath the oak trees, eating breakfast (which actually appeared to be the end of a midnight snack). Sunlight from the east stabbed right through the steamy darkness and landed on the scene, illuminating all of it. Chanta’s hindquarters especially were glowing. Dusty took a deep breath and folded his legs to lay down. His big head lowered until his chin touched the wet leaves, and he fell asleep. Just as the farm was waking up.

Happiest of Thursdays to you, friends!
XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: 1000gifts, animals, daily life, Farm Life, gardening, gratitude, hay, horses, hot tub summit, lunar cycles

trying to stall time and some special things this week

August 6, 2017

My brain has this notion that if I plan just a few extra events to break up our routine and also take time to write about our day to day living, then time will slow down a bit. Is this true? I mean, is this a sound theory? Because life is so great; we are happily obsessed with 97.46% of its details, but lately the days are slipping by way too quickly.

If you have any authority or expertise in this department, I will bake or work in your garden in exchange for your help. Thanks in advance.

********************

Following a lovely Monday with my nieces, this past Wednesday was so much fun. Whether my time-slowing theory works or not, Wednesday was a carpe-diem victory in every way.

After some basic early chores and a 7-ish mile run in Choctaw, I showered, did a little sewing, then picked up my long-lost gardening buddy Maddie and her youngest brother for a visit at the farm! We spent all afternoon swimming, brushing horses, and eating watermelon. I loved every minute. She is so good with him, he clearly adores her, and watching them together made me super nostalgic for my own siblings.

“Gabe, are you having fun?” “Why wouldn’t I be? We have watermelon!”

Except I was horrible to my own sibs. Cruel pranks, meanness, cold shoulders, you name it. Except with Genny for some reason. And Philip. I was pretty nice to them. Mostly Angela and Joey were just fun to tease, okay?

Ask me sometime about the school bus trick, ha!

Back to Wednesday.

A quick dust up around the house, a change of clothes, and by early evening Handsome and I were on the road to the Lake Hefner area.

Our friends Mickey and Kellie had invited us for dinner, and we all had the best time. We have been at several larger parties with them but alone just the four of us only once before, and we always enjoy their company so much. Wednesday night was such a treat.

More than a treat. Our dinner date turned into a long, meandering, nourishing conversation that left us feeling like we had known each other all our lives.

And the food was sublime, of course. Mickey and Kellie are foodies of the highest order, and they spoiled us with beef tenderloin, bacon-sauteed Brussels sprouts, and roasted potatoes then sent us home with extra portions of dessert, which was made-from-scratch strawberry shortcake.

By the way, Mickey is the friend I mentioned recently who helped me improve my running form! He is maintaining a mind-blowing streak right now. Crazy cool. And I love listening to him and Handsome talk cars.

Kellie feeds my brain with talk about magnetic earthing, total-person wellness, her love of both the beach and Colorado and excellent food, yoga, and a recent foray into Orange-Theory. I haven’t personally tried this workout yet, but her reviews alone get me interested.

While in their home we enjoyed some reluctant and therefore precious greyhound affection:

She’s blending, she’s blending!

After that mid-week burst of socializing, time did slow a bit, lusciously. Thursday thrummed with the leftover energy of all that love exchanged. And writing about it since then has helped press it all into my skin, again.

You write to live life twice, after all.

Since then, routines are keeping us busy. Running all the miles, collecting eggs and admiring the Memorial Day chicks, playing endless games of fetch with Sir Klaussen, watering and exploring the gardens.

 

 

Life is good. Beyond good.

If I cannot slow time exactly, then I will be content to magnify the moments.

Thanks to our friends and family for helping to make our week special. We love you all!

“Kindred spirits are not so scare as I used to think.
It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”
~L.M. Montgomery,
Anne of Green Gables
XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: daily life, friends, gardening, memories, running, time

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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