Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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inspiration, recreation, & the only stream that flows

Hey friends, how are you? How is your spirit? Is it at play, or is it suffering, or have you even checked in with yourself lately? Are you getting enough water and sunshine?

I tell you what, for my answers: Yes, to all of the above and then some. It’s a grand mix, and I adore every detail.

Inspiration abounds. I’d love to share some beauty and goodness with you, but first I’d like to real quick establish what the word recreation has come to mean to me and also mention a concept about the stream of well being.

Recreation, by modern definition, is, “refreshment by some means of pastime, agreeable exercise, or the like; a pastime, diversion, exercise, or other resource affording relaxation and enjoyment.” The word’s Latin origin points to “restoration and recovery.” This is fine and great. I bet we usually accept recreation to be play, and in America maybe a certain type of play, and maybe most commonly, whatever can be squeezed into a weekend or weeklong vacation. I think it must legally include hot dogs, organized sports, or at least matching outfits and group photos. I’m mostly kidding, but my point is that it can be a trap to chase R&R in the social sense. It doesn’t have to be like anyone else’s, and it doesn’t have to be relegated to weekends and rare vacation time. I like to look at the word and see that its root is create.

The elements that create me, who I am deep down, are probably somewhat different from the elements that create you, despite our basic similarities as human beings. Anyway, when we get ourselves to a dangerous level of depletion, either pysically or spiritually, and we feel the need to build ourselves up again, to re-create ourselves, I hope we look for more than what we think should help, more than what everyone else is doing habitually. I hope we tap into gleaming instinct and wisdom to pursue the things we know are nutritious and long lasting.

The DNA of our personalities or souls, or however you like to call the invisible essence of you, is precious and God-given. Let’s not settle for only rest or only mind-numbing comfort; let’s encourage each other to seek replenishment of the very best stuff of life.

Okay.

And now some quick thoughts on, “Well Being is the only stream that flows.”

There is a philosophy which says that our sense of well being is always available to us, and we have control over how much we experience it in life. That we are not so much in a maelstrom of warring energy fields like good versus evil; rather, we are in control of our own access to Love. We either allowing Love to flow freely or we are not allowing it. Similar endings to the story, but very different ways to get there. This was hard for me to see when I forst read about it, and it’s still hard for me to swallow at moments when I am exactly the reason why I am not feeling my best, ha! But the more I experiment with it, the more true it feels. At the very least, it’s a great touchstone for asking myself whether I am suffering over something by an outside arttack or by choice, and how can I adjust my perspective to experience life differently? Am I consciously or unconsciously damming up the river of goodness that is very much available to me, and wondering why I am dying of thirst?

Another metaphor for this is electricy and lightswitches: We do not sit in a dark room because someone has “turned on the dark.” There’s no such thing. We sit in a dark room because someone has turned off the light. Something has broken that electricity circuit. This one is easier to see.

How liberating to think that, at the moments we seem to be sitting in the dark, we can invite light back in, all by ourselves. Or, when we are parched for goodness and Love, we really can find a way to allow the stream of well being to flow to us, through us. We can, largely, quench our own thirsts.

How?

Release fear. Forgive someone. Forgive ouselves. Spark curiosity instead of holding judgement. Better yet, open a bold and loving conversation. Connect. Do difficult work that builds confidence and destroys self doubt. Stop outsourcing your abilities. Choose to see the best in a person or a murky situation. Count your blessings. Count your talents. Extend help to someone. Make their whole day! Accomplish something big on your Long List, and bonus points if it’s something that cannot be easily undone tomorrow. Donate clothes and household belongings before you scratch the itch to shop. Weed a garden. Walk your dog. Call someone out of the blue. Bravely imagine a tough situation working out better than you have ever dared to dream, and hold the details of that imagining until you feel the effects in your body. Write it all down to make room for something better. Pursue beauty. Notice more details. Gulp it all in! Bake for someone you love, and pray for them while you do it. Release fear.

Release fear.

Release fear without punishing yourself for having it in the first place.

Release fear over and over again. Fear is the opposite of Love, and it blocks so much goodness in our lives. In my own heart, fear has been the root of every failure and every excruciating pain. Fear is the reason I shrink back, too. Fear becomes my jealousy, my bitterness, my selfishness. I forget way too often how simple it is to release my fears straight into God’s hands. But when I finally do it, it always works.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on either of these ideas!

OK, how about some inspiration lately? Take it or leave it, and please swap me for something in your world!

((reflective moment on our pond, autumn 2025))

Inspiration Lately!

The Elton John song Tiny Dancer as performed by Florence and the Machine. You know what, all music by Florence inspires me.

Original paintings by a young local artist named Savannah Scholz. She has new swan pieces that I am very interested in purchasing! Everything of hers that I have seen is dynamic, emtionally charged, and just gorgeous. She uses themes like fertility, loss, new life, partnership, birds, motherhood, and the balance of masculine and feminine power. Find her on Instagram!

((one of two pieces we bought from her a couple of years ago… I love seen them every day))

I love how my friend Cathy arranges her dining room table for every season and every little shift in life. Recently she set it beautifully with an Edgar Allen Poe vibe, and I am just so dang jazzed by it. What meal would you seve at this creepy, elegant table? I’m thinking prime rib, rare, with something very garlicky.

The Rich Roll podcast interview of Chip Conley, all about the “Modern Elder.” The episode is #905, dated April 24th. If you are a fan of work by Richard Rohr, Victor Frankl, and Arthur Brooks, you’ll get lots out of this long, meandering conversation. Quickest takeaway: Project your life at least ten years into the future. Projected regret is your secret wisdom.

An audiobook biography called, Clementine: the Life of Mrs. Winston Churchill. Whoa buddy I got so much out of her life’s story. I have certainly made the mistake of putting people like Churchill on a pedestal, for their contributions to history or much quoted wisdom; so at first I felt startled by all the humanness and “green young woman” behavior of Clementine’s early years. But I swallowed that down and injested with an open mind the rest of her story, just as it was told. I am so glad I did. This biography provides a unique behind the scenes fullness to WWII stories we have heard before from the men and historians.

Pamela Anderson’s jaw dropping rebirth. I am riveted somewhat by the unpredictability of her path and especially by her devotion to hearth and home. Have you seen her home and garden show? There is also a cooking show too, which I loved.

Cal Newport’s podcast Deep Questions! I am a new listener. He is the author of books like Deep Work, Slow Productivity, and Digital Detox. So far I am finding his tone and pace in audio to be a lot more energetic that I expected, based on his books. Great material too, just a bit long winded. Which is funny coming from me, ha.

Also Emily Freeman’s podcast, The Next Right Thing. I am a long time listener but had lost track for a while. Her voice is soothing, her messge is sane and good, and her mothods are digestible. Episode #372 is all about space clearing, both physically, spatially, and emotionally Loved it.

A memoir titled Hope is a Verb by fellow Oklahoman, Amy Downs. Holy moly, friends. More on this will soon come your way in the form of a true book review. It deserves the loving attention. She is an OKC bombing survivor, a self made executive, and a triathelete. A fascinating and beatifully written story!

These painted rocks I keep seeing around the park in Choctaw. A local church is repsinsible for the commuity project, and it is all so uplifting. I have seen them hidden in secret places and grouped together out in the open. Just like people. Colorful and misshapen and beautiful too, again just like people.

The quiet work of friends who are pouring themselves into creatve pursuits. I have too many to list quickly, so I will share some solid gold stories soon. Our community is so rich because of these folks! Just know that my heart is full of love for our real life friends doing creative work.

There’s a wealth of internet eye candy right now, calling itself 90s Nostalgia, and y’all, we are kicked off hard and happy for Halloween right now but Christmas can go ahead and buckle up for extra colorful lights, cozier corners, and all things happy and good. Never have I been so thankful to be married to a guy who adores the holidays as much as I do. In addition to 90’s Nostaligia, there are accounts popping up left and right that show us crafts made from nothing but garden scraps: Willow branches become adult sized witches. Hydrangeas and maple branches are shaped into magical archways. Orange slices? You already know. Give me all the homemade, hand crafted magic.

Earlier this week I had the lucky chance to visit Handsome’s office for an employee appreciation event. I arrived at the tail end of the fun but still got to see so many friendly faces, and afterwards he walked me around part of the building for some quick introductions and to see old friends. Every single time I see these fine people, I am inspired by the work they do and the community they have built. Oklahoma is incredibly well served by the people who keep the Corporation Commission running smoothly. It fills my heart so much that I cried while driving away.

A book based on a podcast (that’s a modern switch!), both titled The Anthropocene Reviewed, by John Greene. Our incredible son in law Alex first led me to the podcast a few years ago, and I got hooked. I finally ordered the book a couple of months ago and fell for it imediately based on the introduction. In that, the author shares enough of his own story to help the reader develop a flavor for his quirky, deeply meaningful, and also hilariously irrelevant commentary on different features of modern life. That’s the best way I can explain it without robbing his explanation of the five star rating system. I know, this doesn’t make sense here, but it’s worth reading. Green has a knack for connecting the mundane with the profound, which you know is my favorite hobby besides gardening. Here’s a quote he shared, attributed to the poet Maurice Sendak:

“Pay attention to what you pay attention to.
Live your life.
Live your life.
Live your life.”

At a monthly meeting with the Master Gardeners last week, I took a few minutes to explore the Children’s Sensory Garden outside the Extension office. It’s small but packed with details and interesting dimensions, and ooofff it got my wheels turning for the school garden at Chavez! There, we have seven raised beds of various shapes and sizes, and we have plenty of challenges, but I wonder how much we could accomplish to this end. The kids are so smart and so interested in the physical experience of gardening, a sensory focus feels like the logical next step.


Friends, thanks a million for hanging in there with me today. I have more to share, but this is already so much. I would love to see something that’s inspired you lately!

“Break often.
Not like porcelain
but like waves.”
~Scherezade Siobhan
XOXOXO

highs & lows lately

Life lately has been, as it so often is, a study in constrasts. And I love it.

Just for fun, here are some highs and lows that have caught my attention. The first two happened early Wednesday morning, within fifteen minutes of each other.

HIGH: Discovering that a new paperback I had ordered secondhand from Ebay was in large print. Large print, you guys!! This is cause for celebration. It’s not quite large enough for me to skip reading glasses, but it’s large enough for me to relax and enjoy reading. Five star experience.

LOW: I found a small tree frog on the toilet seat in our upstairs master bathroom. It was still very dark in there, barely half of a slight moon beam glowing through the window, so the fact that I saw it rather than felt it is a miracle. Maybe this should be in the high category by the miraculous criteria alone, but it’s not. Still a low. One star experience.

HIGH: Laughing so hard and so gluttonously with our friend in her hospital room that a nurse opened the door to see what the heck was going on and demand, a bit crankily, is everything ok? (Insert disapproving scowl.) hehe

LOW: Seeing this beautiful friend in her hospital bed, facing new difficulties and uncertainty.

HIGH: Celebrating our cute nephew’s fifteenth brthday!! He is living in Oklahoma for the first time ever, and our family is so happy and thankful! We love him to pieces. He is saving for his first car, is upbeat and gregarious, affectionate, smart, funny, and just so much fun. What a true gift to get to spend time with him freely!

LOW: Missing Jocelyn on her thirtieth birthday this week. I knew that despite any effort to look on the bright side it would be a painful day, so I prepared for that and was very choosy about what outside commitments I made. I cried plenty and had to summon my energy over and over just to be minimally productive. I am thankful to have learned the importance of processing my emotions in real time, of not staying so busy that I’m numb; but it can make the hard days pretty uncomfortable.

HIGH: First day of fall semester Garden Club! This happened to be on Jocelyn’s birthday, so it took lots of effort to be fully present for the kids, but I was able to. In fact the afternoon passed so quickly, and I left the school smiling, of course. God let it all feel light and jam packed with purpose. And the little gardeners had an absolute blast. I predict a successful autumn for their flowers and veggies!

LOW: Back at the farm, I discovered a whole row of okra had grown so much overnight that not a single pod was edible. Womp womp.

HIGH: A bowl of cheese tortellini with Alfredo sauce, piled high with grilled chicken, roasted garden tomatoes and bell peppers, and fresh basil. Flavorful and satisfying. Gratifying, too, that I could use garden produce.

LOW: The return of a weirdly high heart rate and some difficulty running. Nothing scary, just frustrating.

HIGH: Sweet, mild, breezy, cotton candy daybreaks and equally sensuous sunsets. The once-again-hot days lately have been hemmed in by such painterly details and full body pleasures, I am addicted. I adore the transitions weeks betwen seasons, because they are such a fun mix of physical experiences. The contradictions keep me guessing and help me feel less desperate for the next thing.

These are just some private highs and lows. I cannot step into the arena of global issues right now, because they are too big and too heavy for me to articulate well. I feel them. I am paying some attention. But I am not allowing any of it, neither the widespread grief nor the overarching silver linings, to dominate my attention. For me, this is a moment to haress my own energy and focus. I’m spreading myself thickly and with great intention on the things that matter most to me, because I’ve learned that each individual person’s energetic contribution to the world matters. It matters a great deal, so I am being deliberate about mine. Take care of yourselves, friends.

“Pay attention what you pay attention to.
Then live your life. Live your life. Live your life.”
~Maurice Sendak
XOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm, welcome summer!

It is Friday, June 20th, and I keep checking and rechecking the calendar to see if that’s right. We are smack dab at the front gates of Summertime in Oklahoma, friends. They are flung open. We have finally arrived, and we have fancy supreme guest passes and wristbands for all the best rides plus unlimited snacks till after hours and beyond. Welcome! Let’s DO THIS.

01. WEATHER Our beautiful state has received one million inches of rain since spring sprung a while back, and honestly we are all just equal parts thankful that drought is suddenly an ancient memory and also kind of sick of talking about the rain. Because, in case you don’t know, it’s been a lot more than just rain. It’s been a few solid months of severe weather, and we are worn thin, ha! But we’re simultaneously thankful, I’m sure you know that harmony song by heart, too. A few days ago the lush, pulsing heat and brilliant sunshine reappeared after so many dark weeks. The swimming pools are bathwater-warm, overnight. The days are now divided by task and errand according to the temperature and relative humidity, which are now both high from daybreak till after dark. It is everything we wish for in the bitter end of February, so I am pressing the details, even the sweaty, smothering ones, deeply into my skin and memory.

02. PEOPLE We recently filled the farm with about two dozen of Oklahoma’s finest state employees to celebrate their graduation from a leadership program. It was a gorgeous day, weather wise, and a gathering that filled our hearts. What in incredible gift to become acquainted with so many accomplished, ambitious, but still very down to earth Oklahomans. A few days after that we shut the gates tight in order to focus on two VIP guests, our Navy Nephews! My little brother has officially retired from a long and storied career as a navy officer, so he and his wife (one of my best friends) are putting down roots right here in Oklahoma. They sent their cute boys “home” a bit early so they could pack up their house and wrap up loose ends in Virginia. The boys and I had a fun day together! We swam, baked homemade chocolate chip cookies, tried to make those cookies into ice cream sandwiches, swam some more, made art, and all went forty percent feral. The teenager of the pair is saving to buy a car, so I paid him to mow one of the yard areas. He did a fantastic job! I hope it was just one of many summer days with them.

03. ANIMALS Our beloved Farmily has been coping well with the weather. The four leggeds have been feasting on green grass, but noone has been sick from it. They have all shed their winter coats, too, and the horses have farrier appointments (with my husband) coming soon. Rhett spends lots of time every day in the pond. Scarlett, when she is not in the mood to join him, stands on the bank and bellows for him to get OUT already. It’s so cute. He usually obeys her and can soon be spotted licking her face, neck, and back. The flock is somewhat diminished right now, just from old age, but we are still getting about four eggs per day from the nine hens. My youngest girl is eleven and still laying! I pump them all up so hard, to sure they know what a rock stars they are. Johnny Cash the elderly gentleman gander is hashtag-thriving. He swims constantly and supervises everyone like it’s his job. Because it is. Klaus is living his best life, too. His social calendar is actually richer and more complex than my own, ha! He plays with Charlie from next door pretty often, which he abslutely loves. You should see the way they smile when they see each other. He entertains family dogs whenever possible, and he has become accustomed to a one mile sniff-ari wth Max and Sadie a couple times per week, early morning please, before it gets hot. When he asks to go but we can’t for some reason, he gives me the saddest look imaginable. Between those moments of abject dsappointment, though, rest assured that King Klaus is one happy camper. He keeps me safe in the garden and in the pool, and he likes watching his Daddy do tractor activities.

04. GARDENS I can practically hear the gardens growing now. Once the sun magically reappeared, it was like jet fuel on everything. Now I walk around noticing new, unreasonably altitude in bean vines and corn, new blooms in flower beds, and generally more life in every nook and cranny, all over the farm. I have a lot of weeding and cleaning ahead of me, and I labsolutely ove it. Weeding is one of my favorite rituals, for many reasons. Maintenance season is infinitely soothing to me.

((This is a before photo. Check in soon for the After!))

05. INSPIRATION Between listening and reading, I have enjoyed several great novels this past month or so, but for inspiration I am rereading Atomic Habits plus a new to me memoir called Take Good Care of the Garden and the Dogs. You’re probably familiar with the former book, by James Clear. If not, I strongly recommend reading it. Own it, actually, so you can make notes and reread it periodically. The latter is by Heather Lende, an author who survived a horrific accident and found enough “family, friendship and faith” in her small Alaska comminuty to write about it. I love stories like this. I have also discovered a performance and mindset coach on IG named Alexis Wilson. She shares exactly the kind of thought training I crave, even if I don’t lean toward entrepaneurship. Check her out.

“The fruit of your character isn’t just in your garden;
it’s in what grows in the lives around you.”
~Alexis WIlson
XOXOXO

fresh homegrown watermelon oklahoma
zinnia in august

Okay, summer people. Here’s what I mean by wristbands and flung open gates: This is just a season. It is bursting with physical pleasure and sensational indulgences. The days can be long and demanding but also long and luxurious. Let’s squeeze every drop we can from as many consecutive days and weeks as possble.

Let’s get outside extra early if our schedules allow it. For me that means doing housework and laptop work in the heat of the day while Klaus naps, ha! Let’s swim a LOT and even get our hair WET. Let’s eat watermelon until we think we have slightly overdone it. Let’s grill at least half of our meals outside then give each other bonus points for eating them outside. Let’s wear swimsuits and our husband’s discarded button up shirts all over town. Let’s wear hats to the store and not apologize for it, on account of our chlorine soaked hair. And while we’re at the store, let’s remember to grab a bottle of leave-in conditioner.

Let’s sneak outside at dusk to watch the bats hunt then stay till true dark to count fireflies. Let’s plant everything we can get our muddy little hands on, take photos of it all, even the weeds, and allow it to nourish us. Roast some marshmallows. Get a tan if you are so inclined. Wear obnoxious colors. Watch JAWS in the pool if you can swing it!

Starting immediately, I want to only smell like bug spray and suncreen, chlorophyll, chlorine, fruit, and horses. I am fine with being mildly uncomfortable if it means I am exhausting my body on summertime work and summertime play. I intend to get to the lake a few times and go hiking in the Wichita Mountains. I am planning cookouts and lots of easy silliness.

I hope you have these good plans or better ones brewing, friends. We made it. Welcome. Enjoy!

“The more wishes you make, the more beautiful Fantasia will be.”
~Neverending Story
XOXOXO

pink houses, punk houses, and everything in between

Hey friends happy June! In many parts of my brain, it still feels like early April, with the cool mornings and extended rainy season; but it is absolutely, no doubt about it, the first day of the sixth month of the year.

A few days ago I had a moment when I realized how many of the things I long for all winter are tangibly available right now. Early daybreaks, warm weather running, emerald forests, animals that are slicked off and plump, chickens laying regularly, flowers in bloom, bats hunting at dusk, frog symphonies, the pool soon opening, you name it. I realized that this is what we have been waiting for, and if I’m not careful, I will speed my way right past it all.

Hey, we went to Luther, OK, yesterday with our dear friends Rex and Cathy. The purpose of our trip was to watch their Third Annual Pinebox Derby races, and that was so fun. But on our walk back to the truck I spotted this little pink house and wanted to tell you about it.

Then when I typed pink it came out punk over and over again, and honestly, soft pink is kind of a punk choice for a house color. John Mellencamp may be have been a different genre, but this kind of bold, authentic living doesn’t lie. My friend Trisha sparked a conversation about what kind of woman lived there and chose that color. She has, “the most amazing frames to her readers, who has aged with grace and laugh lines that can tell many stories… and she definitely has a cookie recipe she only shares with close friends.” I added she also has a secret salsa recipe and might have a parrot rather than a cat or dog. Only becasue her favorite dog, years ago, was irreceplaceable.

Fixing up the house itself is a certain kind of thought experiment; but the magic you could do with plants on a place like this. Man. So, since yesterday I have been mentally landscaping this tiny property. It would have zero trumpet vine, because good grief. And it would have boxwoods, native hydrangeas, lots of white gaura and impatiens, and hyacinth bean vines on that ramp. Maybe morning glories. The bed woud be curving and deep with room for herbs and flowers and just a handful of vegetables interspersed casually. The trees would be groomed back, making room for a big chain swing loaded with pillows for reading.

You know what? She does have a dog after all. Obviously. And all her neighbors love him.

Speaking of landscaping, I am waist deep in a brand new growing experiement here at our own place. Since Handsome built me a greenhouse in March, we have sectioned off a relatively large, full sun rectangle space adjacent to it for vegetables and wildflowers. It is proving to be more of a learning curve than I expected, and the challenge has also been much more fun than I expected. If you visit us anytime soon, please remember that the “Summer Garden” is in year one, and apparently I did not inherit whatever gene allows a person to dig a straight line.

It’s punk to grow in curves, ok?

As my friend Kelly suggested, some of the swooshes could be seen as little surprises in my timeline. The way life throws us curveballs that just beome part of our story. I’ll straighten some of the edges, but for Kelly’s explanation, at least one gets to stay.

I’ve read or listened to several good books recently, plus a few great ones. They have each nourished me in a dfferent way. Now, as per my summertime usual, I am about to indulge mostly in novels. So if you have any suggestions, please drop me a line!

I have also stacked up a few decent months of running and lifting that have me feeling healithier and more free than I have felt since way before the marathon last October, and I am on track to “run the year” again, at least so far. It’s truly wild how resilient and adaptive our bodies are. I still have nothing else planned, race wise; it’s just great to feel great. I know it’s a gift. I will admit, however, that dinner last week with some running friends left me feeling inspired to set a new goal…

A few hundred other things have happened that deserve their own stories, and I may get around to that gradually. We also have a pretty full summer calendar humming at us from the wings. I hope you’ll check in, follow along, and share your stories, too.

Cheers to a brand new month with brand new pleasures and lots of work worth doing!

“And then, one fairy night,
May became June.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
XOXO

hold what ya got

My husband says something that drives me crazy.

Not the… please shut the cabinet door or would you please put your dirty socks away kind of crazy.

(Not that he does those things.)

(I’m just giving you examples.)

More of the… Sleeveless tshirt, backwards ballcap, and stern business voice on work calls kind of crazy.

That kind of crazy that gives me shivvers.

Handsome behind the wheel on a country drive…xoxo

At various crucial times around the farm, he says to me in his deepest, most controlled, most deliciously mellow voice, “Hold what ya got.”

And I almost can’t focus. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I love it, ha!

This past week he said it to me while we wrangled Scarletta Jones into our makeshift squeeze shoot to administer antibiotics. My job was to hold the rope against her strenuous objections and then apply whatever full body tension I could muster onto the steel gates to keep her still. Hold what ya got. He just utters the phrase calmly under his breath, without making eye contact, focused on his side of the task.

Earlier in the week and again yesterday, he said it to me many times while we worked together on our little greenhouse build. He has designed and purchased and organized all of it. Planned every step. He gives me useful-feeling tasks along the way, often amounting to lifting lumber to the sky while he measures some mysterious distance or holding two pieces together while me makes an angle just perfect.

Hold what ya got.

Then inwardly, to myself, Focus, girl!

There are innumerable examples of him casting this atomic spell on me. He’s been saying it for years, and I only recently intimated how it affects me. He doesn’t get it. But that makes it worse. Or better.

I suppose he’ll keep saying it forever. I hope he does.

And I absolutely will.
XOXOXO