Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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the ghosts of birthdays past & a long wish for my guy xoxo

September 1, 2020

Last week my cute husband turned 45!!

We have been celebrating together for so many years, but of course, pandemic presented some challenges to the norm. More than ever, I have hoped that a few private “Birthday Week” traditions would sustain him and make him feel as deeply loved as he surely is. (Wrapped gifts, favorite foods and guiltless couch time, I’m lookin at you.)

A few magical extras, though, need to be mentioned!

Last week, in the midst of a regular work and farm schedule, we spaced out a few tiny gatherings of dear friends to begin painting the exterioir walls of our new yurt. This definitely helped it feel celebratory around here! I’ll share those photos and stories separately, and soon.

Then… Then!! The Thursday afternoon surprise:

Something extra special for this birthday was how Handsome’s office family went above and beyond to surprise him. For weeks, Geoff and his colleagues recruited about 60 people from the Commish and beyond to each record a short video birthday greeting, which were then artfully compiled for the group online monthly meeting. It was all so funny, so appreciative, and really tear jerking. David from PUD played a gorgeous piano recital during their video conference Team Builder. And they also constructed a “Trivial Pursuit” style group activity all centered around their fearless leader and his life. It was all so good and will absolutely go down in birthday history!

That night we welcome one couple to the farm (thanks for coming, Brad and Chelsea!) and ate a tender, flavorful smoked brisket gifted to Handsome by Dennis and the Enforcement team, plus the most decadent chocolate layer cake I have ever eaten, baked by Tessa, an analyst in PUD.

On his own birthday, my husband bought a bicycle, tire pump, and lock for a young man in OKC transitioning from homelessness to his first apartment. It was a collaboration with my sister, who is a breathtaking human. My guy would probably rather me not talk about this, but it was a vivid memory I have no wish to forget. “It was a good day,” Angela later texted. She was right.

Then from Friday evening through Sunday evening, we stayed up late and slept late and did exactly the amount of work we felt like doing (not much, ha). We spent the weekend swimming and watching movies and reality shows and funny YouTube videos. I can think of precious few hours last weekend that were not made sweeter by some thin, secret slice of chocolate cake stuffed criminially into either of our mouths, ha! Add in some romantic hot tub time and maximum pajama lounging, and I hope he felt as unwound as I did. He certainly deserves it, and much more.

We expect two more small group gatherings this weekend, and Jessica will be visiting next week, for an old fashioned slumber party complete with video games, movies, and good food. We love all of it! Hopefully no viruses will be exchanged.

We do miss parties. We definitely miss having our friends’ voices and energies combine en masse into that special something at the farm. We miss scavenger hunts in Bricktown and car shows and talent shows, and restaurant gatherings so large we have to reserve an entire room. I would very much like to give my husband something big and wild and memorable like those birthdays past, because he gives so much to everyone else all the time.

2015 surprise rockabilly car show at the farm for his 40th birthday!
Birthday scavenger hunt in Bricktown!

Until those days return, a Birthday Week wish for my guy:

May you always remember that you were born on purpose, and that you life is bursting with purpose.

May you always feel connected to your strong, beautiful roots.

May you never be too far from a good steak or a nice bit of chocolate dessert. And may your internet always be fast and your blankets always fuzzy and clean.

May your beach trips soon become more frequent and your travel appetite soon quenched.

May your dreams for the Batmobile come to fruition, and may some of the generosity you show be returned to
you at moments when you need it most.

May your pool water never grow algea, and may wasps suddenly become extinct, at least on these nine acres. May all the shingles in your life stay in place, and may wire fences suddenly become indestructible.

May you feel that click, that sense of belonging and comfort, as a brother and as a friend, as a father and as a neighbor. You know you are needed, but may you also know deep in your bones how loved and wanted you are, by so many people.

May the funny movies at your disposal far outnumber the amount of political ads and heat-and-air commercials you have to see.

May you feel deeply and permanently loved, for just being you, for every minute of the rest of your life.

I am so happy and forever grateful that you were born on that summer day in 1975.

Cheers to many, many more.
XOXOXOXO

1 Comment
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: birthdays, handsome, memories, quarantine coping

happy 44th to Handsome!!!

August 30, 2019

On Wednesday, the weather was cool and mild, nothing like we normally have in August in Oklahoma. Jess was at the farm recovering from the surgical eviction of her ill-fitting wisdom teeth, and Handsome was home from the Commish, cheerfully juggling all sorts of farm projects and repairs. But you know what else Wednesday was? August 28th. My sweet, strong, amazing husband’s birthday.

On that date in 1975, his Mom, natural red hair flowing almost down to her waist, gave birth to the boy that she and Harvey craved beyond cravings. They started a new chapter in the story of their blended family, quite against the odds then, and I will forever be grateful for their choices.

Because of their son, everything is better. He works hard and loves hard and kindles passionate fires with anyone who crosses his path. He cultivates progress and efficiency. He chooses joy and celebrates the big and the small victories in life. He is also the most supportive, most protective, most affectionate husband and father you can imagine. After all these years together, he often shocks me with his depth of love and compassion and ability to reflect.

Plus life with him is just plain fun.

salt life & romance xoxo

If you know Handsome in real life, then you know he loves beaches and summertime, motionless pool days and crazy parties. You know that Halloween is his favorite holiday, but with a little encouragement he will throw himself into every other (lesser) holiday. He favors movies that make him laugh, and he saves long road trips for country music that helps him cry. He loves steak dinners and 911 hot wings and one very specific flavor of ice cream from Baskin Robbins. (Don’t bother trying to convince him of reasonable substitutes. On this point, he is quite stubborn.)

He will eat spinach salads and roasted broccoli, sometimes zucchini and Eggplant Parmesan, but don’t press him into a salad bar, okay, unless you can time travel back to before Steak and Ale went out of business. Despite his apathy for most vegetables, though, he will go to great lengths to build structures for my vegetable gardens. And he will do anything I ask or hint at to protect all our growing efforts here.

If you don’t know yet, I will tell you that his heart has been broken repeatedly. It’s because he does love so deeply. And losing people or severing relationships has injured him in awful ways. Still, he resists bitterness. He fights it actively and pours his love into new people over and over again.

Spend a little time with this man and you will sense his fascination with other cultures and belief systems. This is one of the qualities that first captured my heart years and years ago, and he continues to woo me with his open mind and natural hospitality.

Every job he does, professional, domestic, and otherwise, becomes a proving ground. Every project he tackles ends with more than outward success; he transforms the process and re-charts the path forward. It can be frustrating. Maddening. Infuriating. And always inspiring.

True to his childhood form, he treasures toys and collections, never leaving things in their boxes. He displays them. Plays with them. He watches cartoons while staying up to date on current events (he is often part of the current events). He loves dressing up in costume, and lately he has especially loved doing this for kids. His heart for children who are hurting would make his Mom and his Grandma so proud.

an old photo but one of my favorites

On our cool, quiet Wednesday, once Jess and I were home from the dentist, we ate homemade chicken and dumplings first (thin chicken soup for the oral surgery patient) then a buttery slab of shortbread apple tart (ice cream for Jess). We watched movies and had pedicures in the living room, the three of us plus Klaus, and silently missed Jocelyn but immersed ourselves in the many joys of the moment.

On Thursday, the weather grew steamy again and we ventured outside here and there. Jess was recovering beautifully, falling asleep in weird places at the drop of a hat, often mid-sentence haha! The birthday boy worked too hard but seemed happy with his progress on our deck. Eventually Alex joined us for a surprise, casual dinner, and we all simmered in love. Jess left the farm happy and healthy. Klaus pouted. I gave my husband a hard-earned massage.

There is so much more to say for his birthday, so much unending love to give and appreciation that needs to be expressed. Brandy is the backbone of our home, of his office, in many ways of our community. Nothing would be as good and safe and beautiful without him. He is my past, my present, and my future, and today more than ever I am acutely grateful for Harvey and Judy choosing to have their baby together. I am floored by how much love and teaching has built their boy into this man.

Happiest of birthdays, babe!! It is raining a monsoon as I type this, and I don’t know exactly how the rest of your week off will look, but as always we will make the very most of what gifts we are offered. Cheers to the next year of life!

XOXOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: birthdays, carpe diem, family

friday 5 at the farm: Handsome’s 40th

August 28, 2015

Hello friends, Happy Friday! Today is not just any Friday… Today is Handsome’s birthday! And not just any birthday… Today is his fortieth birthday!! This is a HUGE milestone and a very happy occasion here at the farm.

For Friday 5 this week, I’d like to share five things you might not know about my guy and five photos to illustrate each wonderful truth.

handsome with baby girl

#1. He is a kid magnet. This man, serious in many ways and responsible to the core, well strapped to a fast-paced, stress-laden professional day job, is just a kid at heart. In the very best ways. He has a playful childishness that I adore. He can connect with toddlers and teenagers alike, provided he is free to just play and break all the parents’ rules with abandon. (This is why he prefers to hang out with kids here at the farm: His farm, his rules, you know? Ha!) He is not above throwing children in the pool, letting them play blood drenched, morally questionable video games, allowing ridiculous table manners and all kinds of grossness, or wearing sparkly pink cowgirl hats when the situation dictates. My heart melts to see him with children of all ages. It reminds me of how he was with our girls when they were small, and it previews for me what kind of grandpa he may be in the future. The super smart, dependable, really fun kind.

handsome as batman

#2. He is the Dark Knight. Since he was a little boy, my husband has had a penchant for dressing up as Batman, and over the years his costume has evolved respectably. (Thank you, afore-mentioned day job. $$) He looks really good as Batman, friends. I am totally used to attending costume events together where girls and women hand ME (dressed as Super Girl) their cameras and ask ME to take THEIR photo together, ha! “Yeah sure, it’s cool. I mean, you don’t have to CUDDLE him, but whatever… I’m fine, I guess.” Not only does he look great in his costume, he also fights crime and injustice and has a dark side of his own. See? Batman. Look closely and you will see that my Batman is holding Tiny T. They fight crime and injustice and also pity fools together. It’s a good arrangement.

handsome with buff trough

#3. Jack of all Trades. He can and will happily build or fix anything that is broken, except tile floors. Please, he is begging you, okay, no more tile floors! His design ideas are always exciting. His skills come out of ancient family memories and his own research, often gleaned from the internet. His confidence with tackling projects around the farm just astounds me. Nothing intimidates this man. On a related note, he is the only mostly sane person I know who will turn his back to a bison.

handsome with tickets

#4. The Life of the Party. We stay pretty busy, and I like it that way. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, he is at the center of the fun. I love hearing him laugh hard from across a car show. I love watching him play with kids or joke with friends, often doing impersonations which only happen spontaneously. Do not expect to make a request and get one on the spot! He tells the best stories. He’s not really afraid of offending anyone. He’s spicy. He’s like the sriracha sauce of party guests. Everything’s better when you add him.

handsoem and me at dinner

#5. The love of my life. I think you knew this part already. This man has been my husband for fourteen years now, and every year gets better and better, more loving, more locked in, more comforting and tantalizing. All of it. He is true, perfect romance to me. He is safety and strength, adventure and risk. He is home base. I cannot imagine being more fulfilled or more motivated to be my best and to live really well than I am, together with him.

I love you sir. Deep and wide, always now and forever. I wish you the happiest, most memorable milestone birthday yet. I wish you stress relief, better and lasting health, comfort for your sorrow (which you hide from everyone), and wild and crazy dreams come true. You are more than a dream come true for me.

Smooch
XOXOXOXO

4 Comments
Filed Under: family, Handsome, memoriesTagged: birthdays

Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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