Lazy W Marie

The Heart of a Hostess

January 4, 2012

On New Year’s Day I visited my parents’ house in Oklahoma City, had a GREAT time all afternoon, and drove back to the farm with my heart full of love. It’s always fun to see everyone in our big ol’ family, and it turns out that I didn’t even leave that early, didn’t even miss that much of the party.

Or so I thought.

Later that evening I did some goofing around on Facebook and saw photos of lots of people on my parents’ front porch. People I did not recognize. Sitting in the same deep, reclining wooden bench where I have sat my whole life. Covered up in blankets in which I have been cuddling daughters and nieces for years. I crinkled my face and searched my memory. Not a scrap of a clue as to these crazy weirdo people’s identity. Nothing.

“WHO THE HECK ARE THESE YAHOOS?!?!” I may or may not have shouted at my laptop. Then I typed a slightly more polite version of my question on Mom’s Facebook page. She never responded, and I can only imagine her shaking her head in disappointment, pursing her sweet mouth and blinking slowly.

“Tsk. Tsk.”

The issue has been on the back burner for a couple of days, but the heat has been on. My curiosity, nay, my sense of trespass, has been simmering.

********************

So… Today I went to see my Mom at her office, enjoyed some very sweet chit chat, and was introduced to several of her coworkers. Very nice people. Not strangers at all.

Then the matter of Strangers on the Front Porch was raised. I took a deep breath because anything was possible in that moment. She could be telling me about siblings I never knew I had. Or that she and Dad had taken up Couch Surfing. Or that I was mistaken in my comment typing and that wasn’t her Facebook page at all, but rather a different Parents’ House Front Porch in an alternate reality or something like that.

Nothing could be further for the truth.

It turns out that Mom was just being Mom. I’d love to tell you what happened.

A work crew installing fencing down the street had hit a high pressure gas line. This is a serious accident, of course, but fortunately nothing exploded and no one was hurt. The worst that happened is the temporary evacuation of all the people on that side of the street. Mom said that among the evacuees was a family that had just bought their house; they hadn’t even finished moving in yet.

So what happened?

Mom invited them to her house, where she was still entertaining extended family, may I remind you. They piled onto ~~my childhood~~ her front porch, feeling too cautious or too polite to immediately accept the invitation indoors.

Mom said they all sat on the front porch for a while, sharing blankets and hot chocolate. Getting to know each other a little bit. And judging from the big smiles on ~~these yahoos~~‘ Mom and Dad’s new neighbors’ faces, everyone was having a great time. Mom told me that later in the evening (it was an hours-long evacuation) they went inside and even ordered pizzas and played games.

And that is the story of Strangers on the Front Porch.

********************

Wow. And to think I almost ordered my sweet Momma a copy of the Reluctant Entertainer book for Christmas. She doesn’t credit herself in this way, but she is a natural hostess. Her heart is in exactly the condition that hostessing requires: open, warm, and sensitive to the needs of others. Ready to bless, not impress, as Sandy Coughlin teaches.

Okay, I am definitely ordering her the book anyway. She needs to know how natural she is. I love you Momma.

Stranger Danger, You Guys!!!!

But seriously, Open Your Hearts Before You Open Your Homes.

xoxoxoxo

New Every Morning! (re-inspired by lifeingrace)

January 3, 2012

I am, like so many women, more specifically like so many women in my life (which is maybe why they’re in my life to begin with) heavily prone to writing lists and getting delightfully giddy at the beginning of a project or adventure. I tend to foam in my accident-prone mouth at the sight of blank paper, crisp, early sunrises, and January, which is pretty much our cultural embodiment of new beginnings, followed closely by Easter and spring garden planting.

I have also had divided success with past lists, though, maybe because the lists are so great in number. Thinking the sensible thing to do this year was control my natural urge to change the world (or at least my red dirt covered corner of it), I thought and thought about everything I wanted for 2012. I tried to see through to the core of why these good and worthy goals haven’t been reached already, about why the same wishes cling tenaciously to my Long List. I managed to boil it all down to the Lowest Common Denominator, into one articulatable “resolution,” though some would argue this is too broad to qualify:

“Time Management.”

Yawn.

Then something wonderful happened to shatter the clay around my mind and loose a myriad of vivid feelings and ideas that were swirling around insistently anyway.

What happened is that tonight I stumbled on an electrified post by Edie at lifeingrace, her thoughts and encouragement about writing New Year resolutions. The best part is that she (or perhaps a friend of hers) coined them reVolutions. I can’t get over how cool this is, you guys. Please go read her post as well as her very colorful list of personal reVolutions for 2012.

********************

Are you back? Or did I lose everybody

because you’re off writing your own electrified lists?

If so, that’s cool.

xoxoxo

This less photoshoppy list belongs to moi. I couldn’t wait.

And it just so happens that my new not blank anymore planner

offers one large lined page just for personal notes.

This passionate brainstorming session was kinda meant to be.

********************

What I liked about the switch that flipped here is the freedom, the encouragement to be truly wild with my wish making, my list writing and my hope forming. This is passionate, crazy-bones brainstorming, friends, and I groove it in a big way.

Hopefully, better time management will underscore a lot of my new habits in 2012, sure, but the coming months are bigger than one goal. Life is rich and complex whether I lose 18 pounds or not (though I do hope this is the last year I fiddle around with that). Every day is beautiful and exciting far beyond the exact condition of my baseboards or compost pile and the exact number of times I post on my blog.

Tonight’s reading and subsequent writing has me thinking BIG, you guys. Big in EVERY direction, and nothing on my hotly scribbled list is outside the bounds of love. None of it will do anything but add to the quality of life both for Handsome and me and for our friends and family.

Here’s to lifeingrace for her inspired post on reVolutions that got me thinking about the whole list-making tendency on a spiritual plane. Thank you for the very C.S. Lewis-y phrase, “liturgy of life.”

Here’s to early January in all of her blank-notebook splendor.

Here’s to the power of Love, to the hidden but ever present designs and patterns in life that we sometimes fail to notice, and to the limitless creativity and renewal available to us through God.

Happy New Year *AGAIN* from the Lazy W

xoxoxo

Top Ten Posts of 2011

December 31, 2011

I first dipped my badly polished toes into blogging back on May 22 of this year. It was a tentative step, and my swims in these brackish waters have been intermittent compared to the swims of others, but one thing I have finally learned is to do less comparing and more living genuinely. So enough of THAT.

In these seven short months I have met lots of wonderful people from all over the United States, Europe, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, and South Africa. These acquaintances have just been electronic so far, though I do have crazy designs to meet some of you in 3-D eventually. I have learned a little bit more about other religions. My compassion for a myriad of other family configurations has bloomed. I have happily discovered several thriving communities for writers. And I have both unraveled and tightened my mind in ways that only writing can do.

Thanks to every single person who spends a few minutes reading these unpredictable posts now and then. Thanks even more for your comments, both here, on Facebook, and in private messages. I have deeply treasured the exchanges. Like, for real you guys.

Of the not quite 200 posts I have written between May and December, following are the top ten, based solely on number of times viewed.

********************

10. “Wonderfully Disheveled” This post was prompted by Write on Edge and ending up being about NOT cleaning up after a party. Or at least about how to do it memorably.

9. “Funny Reasons to Break Up With Someone” Just for kicks. Inspired by real life stories. Not all mine.

8. “Quick Post of Jubilation” We lead a very blessed life. Any pain or confusion that is ours is far outweighed by joy and wonder, a condition for which we are eternally grateful.

7. “Double Standards” This was my participation in a Women Living Well link up and had to do with the way our marriage might operate differently from others.

6. “We Had Them for Breakfast” Not about cannibalism. About Couch Surfers. Which I’m sure are delicious. Not that we would know.

5. “Sea Monkeys” Since writing this goofy little post, my book clubbers have graciously anted up very creative names for my herd of sea monkeys. In the coming months I hope to share a Pulitzer worthy series of stories about their antics. The Sea Monkeys, not necessarily the book clubbers. Although that could be interesting.

4. “Car Show Culture” Restoring, collecting, and showing cars is kind of a big deal in our life. Handsome and I are part of a groovy community of people who do the same, and this post introduced some of that. This winter he started on a brand new tear-down-build-up project for his ’68 Camaro, and I can’t wait to share that with you guys.

3. “Our Fave Chocolate Cake” The honest to gosh truth is that this post got tons of traffic because I linked it to a deservedly popular website, one of my personal faves in fact, but beyond that, this recipe does deserve lots of attention. It is DELISH and is fun to make too. Try it sometime! Maybe for Valentine’s Day, when rich chocolate desserts are almost a cultural requirement.

2. “Proverbs 31 Overview and Realization” Yikes. I started a 31 day series on one of the most beautiful chapters in the Bible and got derailed by family events. Then I couldn’t get my thoughts straight. Derailing happens, but this is a project worthy of attempting again. Maybe as part of Lent this year I can share some of this study.

1. “Fractals” I truly enjoyed the thinking through and the writing down of this heavily philosophical post, and I think this is the point where I made some of my most valued bloggy connections too. The ideas discovered around this time have been echoing in my life in the months since. And I am reminded to try and finish The Shack. Eventually.

********************

Man, oh man, oh man. We have had an incredible year at the dirt & hooves Lazy W. And I have had a blast creating and sharing the digital Lazy W too. Today, on the threshold between the old year and the new one, I have butterflies in my tummy. Anything is possible. Every day is worth savoring God is good. Life is beautiful.

Happy New Year to You and Yours!

xoxoxo

Most Repeated Lines of 2011

December 29, 2011

The Lazy W is graced and warmed with friends again this week. My ten-four good buddy M Half and her Hubs are visiting, helping us make a thousand happy memories to close the year. What a year it has been, by the way!

Two days ago I enjoyed the singular pleasure of sitting in my favorite chair while each of them read things aloud to me. It was divine. I had no idea I liked this sort of thing so much, but I could really get used to it you guys.

I mean, really.

One of Hubs’ narrated pieces had to do with the the most overused phrases of 2011. And let me tell you: It. Was. Hilarious. Read it for yourself, and just for kicks, try keeping track of how many of those overused phrases you are guilty of over using. M Half’s fave seemed to be the keyboard spitting humor one. Nice choice, lady.

Mine? Probably “Occupy.” I happen to see no real world value to this pseudo political movement and feel protective over Handsome who has had to endure its under-informed and disruptive appearance at his office. But that is almost a spicy little tangent. Basically I really like saying that I occupy the chicken coop and I occupy the pantry and I occupy a brilliant sense of humor, etc, etc.

Anyway, it occurred to me that for all its variety and surprise, life at the farm certainly has a way of repeating itself. We do lots of the same things over and over and over and over again. And we say lots of the same things over and over and over again. And again. Care to suffer through our monotony for a moment?

Here are the Top Eight Over Used Phrases at the Lazy W of 2011

Pacino, that is a NO NO. Shhh… Bobby Pacino, our macaw, is vocal. He is a talker. He is a screamer and a squawker and a shusher. He is a lover and a fighter and an early morning riser. When we’re alone Pacino tends to be fairly pleasant and loving, and when we have guests he is sometimes pleasant and loving, but often he chooses these times to throw caution to the wind The indoor wind, may I remind you. He belts out Amazonian operas born of pure joy and then sudden, screeching objections to anyone who is too near to me, his Momma. Or to anyone who is generally NOT doing his random, cryptic bidding. And so our parental scolding happens a lot. Pacino, that is a NO NO is easily the number one overused Lazy W phrase of this past year. No honest person who has ever visited the farm will disagree.

Aww, look at how Chunk is running… Our sweet little buff has about a six part running menu, a delightful but admittedly limited slideshow for us to enjoy. And we do enjoy it every day. But you know those parents who like to highlight every adorable act of their offspring to friends and relatives? Well, Handsome and I may or may not have slipped into the questionable habit of bragging in sugary, cooing voices about every time Chunk runs and bounces or sits majestically, chewing his buffalo cud. The only assurance I have that we have not quite overstepped the bounds of reasonable pride is that at least three people liked yesterday’s photos of him running.

Have you shopped hay recently? Hay is expensive this year. Have you heard of the drought and heat wave of the Midwestern states? The extreme growing conditions of the past several months have given hay farmers dangerously limited harvests, driving up the prices even for out of state deliveries, making our regular hay stocking a game of chance and adventure. We have four big, hay loving creatures to feed, so the interval questions we ask each other about hay shopping have everything to do with how much we celebrate rain when it falls.

I miss the girls. Followed closely by his soft, strong words, I know, Babe. Hopefully the days are coming when we trade more happy stories than we do pain, but this past year has been a lonely, empty nest one. No doubt about it. We’ve fallen into daughter-less routines, sure, and we have had our time apart peppered with several incredibly happy days, but nothing is the same as having them with us, woven into the fabric of our daily life. Trusting God with this and resisting pure rage at Him for letting this happen for so long has been the single most difficult spiritual thing I have every attempted.

I need a vacation. My husband is the smartest, most talented, hardest working, most focused, most over accomplishing person I know. And I know some incredible people. Not only does he stay on task; he genuinely cares about every job he performs and every person with whom he shares those jobs. (To anyone at the Commish who might read this, he does care about you guys. Know that.) This year has been an exciting, challenging, surprising, and exhausting one for him, and time off, though available, has been unrealistic because he cares so much about what he’s leaving behind. So this man needs a vacation. Like, for real.

Do you have any receipts? I have a slightly ~~endearing~~ aggravating habit of shopping to my heart’s content and then moving on to other worthy activities before relaying the month’s expenses to my guy. Not to buy floor length minks or illegal substances, of course, but I do enjoy treasure hunting, feed store emptying, and excessive grocery hoarding. I like to cook, you guys. And my patient, good looking provider might occasionally grow weary of the surprises. I’ll try to do better in 2012.

What did you think of the new recipe? Speaking of surprises, as if the rising cost of food stuffs isn’t surprising enough, Handsome has endured more than a few edible experiments this past year. I try to sneak them in without seeming completely dishonest or manipulative, but the fact remains that “he” would rather that “we” did less experimenting and more sticking to the top ten or eleven recipes. He would also prefer that “we” stop reading “PW” for cooking inspiration. Not likely.

I love you. Okay, the truth is we can never say this too much. Those three little words cannot be overused or overly proved by our actions. We do say it a lot around the farm, though, so very much and in so many ways. And I am eternally grateful that we do.

Repeat the Best Stuff as Much as You Want and Remember to Laugh at Yourself.

xoxoxo

Buffalo Running

December 28, 2011

Our sweet little Chunk-Hi is happy doing lots of things in this world. He is just one of those ~~people~~ animals who is easily pleased, easily amused, and easily satisfied. But a few things in life really put him over the top. One of them is running free.

He always has free run of his own field, together with our horse of choice, and he employs that liberty with zeal. But when we release Chunk to roam the range, so to speak, he really kicks up his skinny little heels. Following are a few photos of our sweet buff enjoying a little elbow room.