Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Disturbance in the Force

   This morning I was minding my own business, pacing energetically through the normal list of Monday morning jobs, staying effortlessly positive and upbeat about stuff in general, and even whistling. Well, sort of whistling, the best I can at least. I managed to actually pray this morning instead of just worry and hope. The farm was happy and in the sleepy process of hunkering down for the predicted rain. My husband had made it to the office mostly rejuvenated and healthy after a really nice weekend. All was well in Denmark, as they say. Or so it seemed.
   I leaned over to retrieve some clean silverware from the bottom shelf of the dishwasher, caught a whiff of both bleach and vanilla on the way down, then started feeling weird. I was physically uncomfortable, out of the blue, but I had no idea why. My jeans felt strange, my red sweater was definitely getting on my nerves, and my sunglasses which had been perched meaninglessly on my head (it’s super cloudy today, no sun, no need for shades, but gosh I like ’em) crashed down on my nose. Rudely. Everything was suddenly wrong.
   I looked around the kitchen cautiously, wondering what the heck was going on. I had an urgent need to escape something, but I didn’t know what, so I listened in perfect stillness for any animal alerts. Usually if an earthquake is coming or a stranger has pulled through the front gate, the geese and guineas will let me and everyone else on our road know about it. Loudly.
   But there was almost perfect silence. And this elusive feeling of discomfort was changing over into a needling pain in several places all over my body, so I investigated.
   What I discovered was maddening and relieving all at once. I had hay. In my bra. And in my jeans. And in everything. And it was itchy.
   I had raked and distributed hay to the four leggeds like half an hour earlier, and that’s the only time it could have found its way into my not loose clothing and undergarments. Plus I had been wearing a coat. So why I was just then noticing it while tidying up the kitchen is a true mystery. But removing it suddenly became the most important thing in my life.  I became very goal oriented in that moment, working to remove the hay pronto, because no  matter how soft and sticker-free it might seem for eating and carrying, it is just not comfortable as skivvies.
   So the hay got removed, right there in the kitchen, and I silently added sweep the floor again to my Monday list.
   Now the disturbance in the force has been soothed and Denmark is once again a peaceful nation. Woohoo! I am kind of glad the bleach and vanilla fragrances had nothing to do with this.

Hay is for Horses, not Bras, Please
xoxoxo

   

Rest & Relaxation, Much Deserved

   What a Saturday! What a grateful first half of a weekend.
   After too many consecutive days of working too hard for too long each day, Handsome has finally joined me for some slower paces and quieter rooms. I could not be happier. I have been at the farm all week, but with him here I really feel at home.
   Late last night M Half and I returned from a really fun book club dinner with eleven fabulous women and agreed it had been one of our best days ever. We said our sweet dreams to each other and went our separate ways. Then I crept into bed and found my guy already on the edge of a delicious, sleepy coma. The good kind of coma that overtakes a person warmly, gradually, heavily, like an old, weighty quilt in a cold room. Even in the dark I could see the cloak of rest all over his body. We let the History channel usher us past midnight and into the deepest recesses of sleep. I woke up at some point with confusing images of Andrew Jackson and Jeff Bridges from Tron. Weird. But it all made plenty of sense at the time.
   This morning we all enjoyed perfect coffee as the sun was yawning over the farm. I made biscuits and either cheese or veggie omelets for everyone. And M Half and I crammed in some more lofty conversation about things like food origin (trying to exact our convictions without being judgmental). Her visit was drawing to a close. She has been at the farm since Wednesday and today is traveling to Colorado for an annual snow shoeing event with her good friend and fellow book clubber Kerri. (Hi Kerri!) But this morning we all lingered for more friendship, stretching the hours a little too far, allowing M Half and Mia some extra bonding time. 
This photo was actually taken on Friday during an all day cuddle fest.

   After saying goodbye to M Half, Handsome and I explored our neighborhood for a while looking in vain for garage sales and auctions. We returned home and saw that his sweet parents had delivered some little surprises for us in our absence, and we got a giggle. 
This is a salvaged plywood box reserved sternly with an inked up strip of masking tape. 
We have big plans for it around here.

   We sneaked inside (as if someone might try and stop us) to recharge our batteries a little more, eat some lunch, cuddle, and nap. It was so restorative.

   Eventually we found our way back outside. Back into the sun. To warm our own feathers.

   Handsome worked on Daphne’s hooves for a while and checked her sore muscle, which is getting better every day. Daphne cuddled while I brushed her, and the chickens supervised.

   Dusty, the girls’ little gray and white horse, has been due for some rope time for a while, and today he got it. He did so well! I watched comfortably from the edge of the field, joined the entire time by Mia and part of the time by Daphne. Handsome looked pretty good holding the lungeing rope and whip, too.
   A few more hours of generally soaking up the sun, ignoring the cold wind, and nibbling at projects here and there, distributing treats to our four-leggeds, and our afternoon was full. Nearly every moment of being outdoors Mia was on my lap.

   Today I had the pleasure of watching my overworked and over stressed husband gradually untangle himself from everything that had put him under that heavy cloak of rest on Friday night, mostly from the collective weight of it all. After a plain but heavy carb dinner of spaghetti, we have been continuing this marathon vegging. Almost new. Getting closer.
 
Wait, we might need tomorrow off too.
xoxoxo




Share the Shine Project, Passing it Forward!

    This story today is even more long and circular than usual, 
so please bear with me. 
xoxoxo

***Background***

   When my girls were little we had lots of driving-to-school rituals, one of them resulting in the name of my little textiles effort, Green Goose, a story I’ll tell some other day, and another having to do with Christian radio. The three of us listened to K-Love a lot, simmering in the upbeat songs and fun lyrics just like so many other people. It makes for a positive morning!

   One of our favorite songs was called Shine by the Newsboys. We would crank it up, sing along, laugh about at the silly parts with Eskimos and origami, and share the energy. Lots of laughter. Lots of smiles and air kisses. Although the three of us don’t drive around together much these days and when we do we’re catching up furiously, racing our conversations against the clock instead of singing along to the radio,  Shine remains one of my all time favorite songs. This probably has a lot to do with the loving memories with my girls, but the song is just plain good.
   Give it a listen if you have exactly 3:44. Here’s an i-Tunes link. And here are the super fun and motivating lyrics. Funny thing, we used to sing the word ketchup somewhere in there, and now I don’t see it anywhere. Huh. Also, I never noticed “Oprah” before. Whatevv.



   My Sweet Chickens on the way to school in 2006
They shine in every way. 
If you know them, you know what I’m talking about.
xoxoxo

***Recent History***

   Okay, there’s a bigger reason I’m telling you about this. The word shine is special to me, and recently it stood out in a cool way. A few weeks ago I was browsing a sewing blog that has blossomed into a seriously soul nourishing blog called Lil Blue Boo. The owner and writer, Ashley, is a beautiful young woman battling cancer and sharing her story with the biggest dose of joy you can imagine. She chooses joy! I am seriously inspired by her, as are a lot of people. Well, she recently gained a new sponsor in the form of another  beautiful young woman also named Ashley, and her site is called The Shine Project.

   I am not exaggerating to tell you that upon browsing Ashley’s Shine site I felt that same rib rattling joy I used to feel when singing with my girls on the way to school. Yes, it could be the word coincidence, but only in part. She drums up a craving to move beyond “enough” and really be vibrant. To really, truly, shine, every single day. No matter your circumstances, no matter your resources, no matter your fears. Just gather up all you’ve got, smile from deep inside, and shine. She encourages and motivates people to serve others.

   She also sells simple charmed necklaces and tee shirts to raise money for college scholarships for kids in her area (Phoenix, AZ), but the encouragement to Shine is about all parts of life, and I love it. 

   I ordered a necklace and have been checking in on her writing here and there, and today I get to be part of launching a new project. 
***On Shining & Passing It Forward***

(Please check out the Spread the Shine site for complete details.)


   Starting this week, a large quantity 
of pre-printed cards 
will be circulating the globe.
They look like this:


SHINECARDback(1)new.jpg


They’re kinda like little “pass it forward” Olympic torches 
than belong either to no one at all or to all of us at once, 
depending on how you like to look at things.


Each card has its own identification number, 
correlating to a special site Ashley has designed.


As the cards move about the world, 
one personal transaction at a time, 
spreading good will and small, 
random acts of kindness, 
the unique stories attached to them 
will be gradually documented on the site.


That is, if everyone takes the time to participate, 
and why wouldn’t you?


Talk about a community building affair!
So if one of these cards happens your way,
please join the effort.
It does not have to be expensive.
It just has to be selfless.


   Okay, that’s my long winded celebration today. I’m pretty excited about this, and I am really looking forward to receiving my card in the mail so I can start its circulation in our little corner of paradise. (I already know who’s getting it first!) Remember, you don’t need a pre-printed card to be randomly or intentionally kind. And your life does not have to be perfect in order for you to shine, today.

   Take a deep breath, gaze at all the blessings in your life, and embrace joy fully! Love and joy are powerful antidotes to pain, I really believe that. And we all have so much to share with others. Let’s get to it.
Be radiant, be happy, pass it forward!
xoxoxo


40 Days Till Easter

   Springtime is high season for me. This is when everything greens up and things start to bloom. This is when the house is cleanest and my mind freshest. My birthday rolls around. And Easter approaches. I love Easter even more than Christmas, for a million reasons. Do you?
   Easter is when promises are kept. Easter is the fulfillment of hope and the answer to hard wrought prayers. It is a wonderful time for healing and forgiveness. It is the time of every single year of life that we can celebrate the light that follows darkness. Without fail, and independent of anything we do, springtime warms us up and gets our hearts thumping again. And Easter is the culmination of all the waiting, all the spiritual dormancy, all the deadness.
   This year I want to be ready. In yet another bizarre way, God is whispering to my heart a hidden meaning behind our childlessness… that I should be redeeming my time more wisely, not just filling it up. Not just comforting myself or wishing the weeks away. The hours that might otherwise be spent on coloring eggs and shopping for frothy Easter dresses can be spent studying the Word and preparing my heart for miracles.
“God is eagerly waiting for the chance 
to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, 
just as He always has. 
But He can’t do it if you don’t pray, 
and He can’t do it if you don’t dream. 
In short, He can’t do it if you don’t believe.”
~ Jeffrey R. Holland 

   I am not sure I agree with Mr. Holland’s word choice here, saying that there’s anything God can’t do, but I certainly agree and believe that the Lord wants a relationship with each of us, privately and permanently and apart from worldly tethers, and so we need to seek Him. That’s our part. Praying, dreaming, hoping, trusting, believing in His goodness above all else, far beyond pain. And in doing so we are assured that He will be there with strong, capable, powerful, merciful, loving open arms.
   And by the way, YES. God has already answered so many big, incredible prayers for us! Why would I ever stop believing in Him? So many dreams are already fulfilled, I get chills to reflect on where we are in life, on how much love already surrounds us. These yet unanswered longings, these fears which remain, are only scabbed over by my own limitations. He has the power to heal all of it, to work miracles I cannot even imagine! Same goes for you and your heart, whatever it is that you’re hoping for or against, He already knows.
   As late winter stretches and yawns herself into the dawn of another springtime, the life giving tremors of Easter are very real to me. Regret over wasted time and spiritual deadness is finally evaporating under the warmth of hope. The busy-keeping activity of recent months, trying to work away pain and over and over again struggling to make sense of things in my own weak ways, is being replaced with a craving for spiritual activity, seeking what He wants me to seek and discovering His power again.
“Let the past sleep, but let it sleep 
on the bosom of Christ, and go out into 
the irresistible future with Him.”
~Oswald Chambers from My Utmost for His Highest
   Lest we get too awfully serious this morning, below is a photo of Tomato the rooster. You know, spring chickens and all. He was only a few weeks old when this photo was taken, and my nephew Zane (well, Zane is *sort of* my nephew, and I love him so much) named him not knowing this feathery creature’s gender. I think it’s a perfect name. You may notice that Tomato got a bright red talon polishing that day, too, which may or may not have affected his personality in the long run. That was two years ago.   
   Nowadays Tomato runs free and wild when the sun is out. His rooster comb is a little wonky, which helps me tell him apart from the others. This is good because his full grown talons have lost their red glamour and we have several white and black roosters. Tomato can be a trouble maker, but we think he’s cool.
   However you observe Ash Wednesday, whatever your rituals are for preparing for Easter, springtime, or just another fresh new day of being alive, I wish you the very best. I wish you a long, wide view of the world, a closeness to Love,  and renewed hope for the biggest miracles you crave! Paint your talons red if it thrills you, and be happy. You are loved, and big things are waiting.
“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”
~Psalm 34:4
xoxoxo
   

Sowing, Sewing, and So-Soing

   This past week has been light on writing but packed with happy activity. It feels like a prelude for good things to come, with the first true days of spring so near us and really so many beautiful blessings to enjoy until then. 
   I have spent some time transplanting four ridiculously early and equally thrilling tomato plants gifted to me from my incredibly funny Grandpa Rex. Those are worth talking about. For starters, one of the varieties is “Mortgage Lifter” because the man who originally grew and sold these produced enough to pay off his house! Awesome. I’ve sprouted lettuces, basil, allysum, and cosmos flowers. I’ve collected manure for friends and family and have made some progress filling my own raised beds. I have been eating fresh eggs a lot and washing them down with orange juice, all the while watching our 2012 egg count rise steadily. Last Sunday we had enough big, colorful eggs in the fridge to share a dozen each with three different families, and still our own shelves are overflowing. This is how I envision our vegetable and herb production going this year, too. Think positively with me, friends!
   Clean for approximately seven and a half hours one day this past month, on a day when I anticipated a crafty guest, my sewing room has been warmed up with activity, too. I’ve cranked out a handful of cute cottony things and have been mostly successful in not starting too many new projects before finishing others. That is a challenge. Sketching and combining fabrics is easy; pushing all the way to the hemming and thread knotting is the mark of industry. Like, seriously. Especially on these blessedly cold, rainy days we’ve been enjoying.
   Speaking of rain, what a gift! There’s just no underestimating how good this is. More on that tomorrow.
   This week, thanks to a brief escape with Handsome, I was lucky to have several extra hours set aside just for reading, and read I did. Thanks to my casual education from reading, if all goes as planned and imagined, this year will bring us healthier diets, a more localized take on food ecnomony, and stronger ties to our community via small production farming. This three day weekend, I am starting bean sprouts and homemade cheese and bread.
   As for the so-soing, well, all of these worthwhile jobs, hobbies, and seasonal goings-on have pushed me to the edge of my fitness wagon if not completely off of it. It’s partly a matter of inertia, just settling for quick energy at the end of an extremely busy day, but the not working out is a time management mistake. So hopefully I have caught myself before slipping too far backwards. 
   Right now Handsome and I are luxuriating in one of the sweetest, happiest Saturdays in recent memory. The perfect mix of productivity, rest, and affection. Tonight we have plans to watch an OKC Barons hockey game with two other couples, so I’m hoping for big ice fights!! I don’t know what the rest of our long weekend holds yet, but it is a welcome pause in a heavy month. Next week and the week after will be at least as busy as the last two, packed with business travel and an overloaded office schedule, house guests, book club, horse training, snow pea and carrot planting, and a bloggers’ conference, so we’re really carpe-ing our diem.
   I am so thankful for my husband, for our life together, for his job and his success there. I am so thankful for my children, for their health and beauty and love. Even if they aren’t here in this house right now, I feel them and hope desperately that they feel me. I am so thankful for our parents, our friends, our community. This might be the loveliest life a woman has ever lived.
“My actions are my only true belongings.”
I stole that from a fellow Oklahoma blogger,
her name is Lisa, and she was quoting Thich Nhat Hanh.
He’s a Vietnamese Buddhist monk.
XOXOXO