Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Yoga for the Indecisive

   I dabble in things a lot. I dabble in lots of things. I dabble in lots of things a lot, all the time, with varying results. I dabble lightly way more than I devote strongly, making my list of Fresh Exciting First Time Experiencesa heckuva lot longer than my list of Things at Which I Possess Expert-Level Mad Ninja Skills. I am peace with this, most of the time. 
   So at the beginning of October when my ten-four-good-buddy splashed into her month-long writing binge on yoga, I decided to join her at least a little. I agreed to dabble in yoga alongside her succinct and inspirational blog posts, and I am so very, truly, cosmically glad I did. She let me share my first timer’s reflections then, and now at the end of the month, she has invited me to guest post about my overall experience with yoga so far. Check out my dorky remarks over there and read her blog a little, too. She’s cool.

Namaste!
xoxoxo

Just for a Season

   This past summer’s extreme heat and drought robbed us of so much greenery and lushness that Handsome and I truly did not expect to enjoy our usual colorful Oklahoma autumn. We kind of jokingly (insert bitterness here) thought that we would wake up one day to naked trees, just bark wrapped limbs that had surrendered to the dry, cold air. We had preemptively accepted one big, overnight leap from a brutal summer to a dismal winter.
   So imagine our surprise when we started noticing the alleys of brilliant reds, oranges, and golds, hundreds of trees glowing with life and quietly touched by the Creator’s hand.
   
What a wonderful gift of mercy and love, 
that when we actively expected the worst,
God gave us the best!

   Anyway, this really has my attention, because I know that the intense display of saturated color can only last so long. We should enjoy it daily, pressing it for every ounce of pleasure and awe these blessings are worth. Because the time will soon come when tree limbs cannot help but stand naked again. We will be shrouded in heavy coats and neutral landscapes, daydreaming of single blades of green grass.
“Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns.”
~George Elliot (19th century English novelist)
   The Bible uses the seasons metaphor prolifically, reminding us there is a natural rhythm to life. Regardless of who we are or what our unique circumstances are, change is inevitable. Growth, loss, conflict, bonding, new beginnings, revitalization, pain, and even decay are all ingredients of a full human experience.  Knowing that most things are only here for a season causes me to pay attention.  Understanding that the nature of most exposure is temporary reminds me to…
  • Genuinely enjoy passion and romance every single time it blooms.
  • Capitalize on my physical health and strength while I have it and work to maintain these gifts.
  • Make better use of swells of time and energy. Not all weekdays are created equal, after all!
  • Be patient in loneliness and learn to profit from silence.
  • See jealously for what it really is and grow from that.
  • Maintain a longer view in troubles, not living shortsighted and expecting problems to be resolved quickly. Do not take short cuts to a perceived solution because of emotional impatience. There is a reason for this trial, and it is not all about me.
  • Love, love, love the people who are in my life today, right now at this moment. Be fully present for them and appreciate them. Love them, love them, love them.
  • Redeem the time, every day, no matter what it brings you, no matter what the need.
  • Be conscious of pain and regret but do not wallow in it. Pain is a signal to be heeded, not something that always calls for escape and numbing. God, who is infinitely wiser and stronger than me, can use unpleasantness to improve me. He is the Master artist and engineer, able to redeem us out of sin and turn death literally into life. He can turn pain into joy.
  • Enjoy my blessings and abundance, not wasting them out of shame or false humility. 

   I watch these groves of maple, pear, oak, blackjack, and pecan trees pulse with life and color, undaunted by their cycles. I know that everything is bound to pass away, both the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the pleasant and the painful. If I were to live only in my memories of summertime or only in my dread of winter, then I would miss out on the astounding beauty of autumn, which is so brief.
   Whatever you’re going through right now, know that there is a purpose for it, probably many purposes at once. Every season brings with it the opportunity for both improvement and pleasure. Accept your mixed gifts with joy. Count your blessings. Keep your troubles in perspective and train yourself to profit from them. Be present in the moment. Open your eyes to beauty.  Breathe deeply and feel the rhythm of life. 
Happy Fall Ya’ll!
xoxoxoxo
   

Monday Morning

   We woke up this morning to a dark, misty farm.  The clouds that had been pouring out that sweet, much anticipated rain all weekend are still here; they are just resting for a bit.  Hopefully gathering more water for Oklahoma.  Outside it feels like a thick, gray comforter has been pulled up to our chins and the curtains have been drawn tight against the sun.  
   A pickup truck drives past the front gate, ball cap-wearing driver leaning slightly to his left, sleepy, holding in his right had the biggest insulated mug I have ever seen.  Only some of the chickens are geese are awake, and they wearily signal an ambiguous dawn.   The buffalo is in one of his sandy wallows, folded up into himself, big head bowing low, beard and mane flattened out and dripping from the watery air.  The horses are still asleep too, back ankles cocked up in that vulnerable, adorable pose they know.
   Handsome is off to the salt mines.  Off to save the world in his own way.  Making me proud.  
   People we love dearly are grieving hard today, and so we grieve with them, for them.  Their hearts are wrenched and pinned against excruciating pain, and they have little recourse.  I see my parents in a new light, one that makes them shine, but it’s something I never wanted to see, not for this reason.  They are so strong and so loving.  So instinctive and generous of heart.
   I am grateful beyond words for my family.  Wishing comfort and mercy to pour over them just like the rain on this parched land.

My Wednesday Morning Foray into Yoga

   Yoga has held my attention from a safe distance for some time now.  But for some reason I always thought that to do it properly I’d have to trade coffee for green tea, start making my own granola, and possibly buy a Prius.  Or at least a Subaru.  And I like my Camaro you guys, A-N-D my coffee, in case you hadn’t noticed.  Oh, for the record, I blame Liz Gilbert for this and a few other misconceptions.

   Then the universe intervened.

   My ten-four-good-buddy M Half encouraged her readers to explore Yoga for the month of October, and I was thrilled.  Coupled with my October-long study of Proverbs 31, I am now due for total physical-spiritual rejuvenation by November One.  R-A-D.  No, I never exaggerate, why?

I'm writing a series on this

   Anyhoo, I dove in, reading every word M offered the first few days, then finally trying a yoga session myself yesterday.  I’d been meaning to do this for months already, and she provided me just the right boost!  
   
   Theeeennn she invited me to guest post on her blog to describe my experience as a Yoga Firsttimer, so join me right over here.

Marinating in Listerine

   About six million years ago when I was in retail banking, I went through a lot of training, mostly for sales.  And in the course of that training a handful of psychological concepts took root in my brain.  Some worthwhile, others not so much.  Among them was something called, “The Listerine Effect.”  A few of my old banking buddies might remember this.
   You use mouthwash, right?
   It burns, right?
   But that’s how you know it’s working, right?
   Despite the burn, you use it because it is working for you.
   Right?
 
   Perhaps you already see where this is going.
   In sales, the Listerine Effect is the practice of deliberately laying out a product’s worst features, its least appealing qualities, first, ahead of explaining its benefits.  Then you get to comfort your client with the good news.  It’s sort of all uphill from there.  You get to prattle on about the bells and whistles because you have no downside to hide.  You’ve already delivered the blow.

   You kind of say it like a parent, “I know this is gonna be hard to swallow, but it’s gonna be so good for you…”
   Example:  “Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Debttoratio, this home equity line of credit does have an annual fee.  It is a gazillion dollars.  However, your rate will never be more than half a point above prime!  Isn’t that fantabuoluous?  Doesn’t that make it worth every penny?”
   I got really, really, scary good at this you guys.  I sold a lot of bankish stuff using this technique, I believe for two reasons:
   A)  The Listerine Effect makes people surprisingly comfortable.  We all expect to hear a downside in the retail world, so once we do, we relax a little.
   B)  The speech patterns of this technique come super naturally to me.  Self criticism is in my bones.

   Here’s the thing.
   This can be a slippery slope.
   It’s a great sales tactic, but allowing this Listerine to spill out into your personal life not only erodes your self esteem; it affects how others see you.  A-N-D it potentially makes them quite uncomfortable.
    Example:  “I never bother cleaning up the house, I am so sorry it’s messy when you’re here.”
   Another example:  “I could never pull that off, it looks so much better on her…”
   You, like me, might feel that by criticizing yourself upfront you are getting the obvious out of the way.  Maybe if you admit your flaws and failures then no one else can possibly lay claim on them.
   If I punish myself enough for everybody, 
then all that is left is acceptance, right?  Right?
   You could be flat wrong.
   You’ve not only drawn a spotlight to your perceived problem; you’ve sneakily obligated your companions to either agree with you or reassure you.
    A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
   This is often taken as fishing for a compliment, even if it’s truly not your intention.  And it can build resentents and low opinions quickly.  Once you start marinating in Listerine, that is the environment for which you become known.  People get used to playing the cheer her up game when you’re around.  Trust me.
   
   This is a habit worth breaking, folks.  Maya Angelou is often quoted to have said something I adore:

   “Surviving is important.  Thriving is elegant.”

   Side note, personal opinion:  I used to think that with regard to how a woman presents herself, the only alternative to this weird subservience was arrogance.  I have had my fill of arrogant women for one lifetime, so I just never bothered trying.  What a mistake!
   None of us is perfect, and none of us is worthless.  We  need to hover somewhere away from both extremes, you know?  Honor humanity in ourselves and each other without getting wrapped up in either extreme of pride.

 

   If only for the comfort of your friends and colleagues, 
stop with the Listerine.
xoxoxo