Good Thursday morning, fine people! The Lazy W is awake and frosty and already bouncing with activity. Lots is happening these days, and I crave in my bones to write in detail about each and every item. But time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin… into the fuuuuutuuuuure… So as a result we have me writing once a week. How about a list today? Grab your morning’s last cup of coffee and please join me.

Oklahoma has been experiencing earthquakes more frequently, and the farm is not far from a commonly identified epicenter. They are getting stronger, too. It doesn”t bother me that much unless Handsome is out of town, but it is one more thing to consider. Side note: as with thunderstorms and other wild weather events, our yard birds seem to know when earthquakes are soon coming. They roll in the sand, cluck excitedly, and fly about alerting us to imminent danger.

This past Sunday evening, Handsome and I welcomed our friends Luis and Kevin and three of their friends to the farm for dinner and a moonlit bonfire. Two of their friends were visiting from New Zealand, and we had the nicest time laughing, eating, and singing around the fire pit. One of the guys brought his acoustic guitar and treated us to so much good music. The out of country guests were as accommodating as you can imagine answering my gazillion questions about Kiwi culture and such. Now I want even more to visit their beautiful island nation down under. In the mean time I am faking a gorgeous (but really awkward because it’s me…) Kiwi accent. To my ears it’s even prettier than French.

My garden is marching forward like a stalwart soldier of chlorophyll. Growing and blooming, reaching toward the fickle sky with her tiny broccoli heads, ruffled spinach rows, and curling sweet pea vines. Even the squash and eggplants are thriving. Ignoring the frost. Daring winter to lash out again and again  The pastures are drinking up this abundant rain and cool temperatures, blushing deeper and deeper green every week. The pond is so high right now that I still cannot run my normal lap around the back field. It’s a good problem to have, you guys. The fruit trees are straight and tall and heavy with variegated blooms. The hens are producing eggs like someone gave them magic egg-producing pills. Life is thrumming right along. I definitely celebrate the days when I get to stay home and enjoy so much activity and progress. Like today!

Our mama llama has yet to drop that baby, but we feel like it could be any time. Care to place a wager? Several of this blog’s Facebook friends have already done so, and your guess is just as welcome. Winner gets choice of either a personalized tea towel or a batch of fresh homemade cookies.

I run my first half marathon this coming Sunday morning. The event benefits the memorial of the Oklahoma City Murrah Building Bombing of April 1995. I am running to honor my husband’s parents and our good friend Alan, all of whom worked tirelessly the day of and for for weeks after the bombing, both as rescue and in the morgue. They certainly deserve to be honored.

My hands are so cold as I type all of this. But I refuse to use the house heater. Not at the end of April. No matter how cold it gets. I’m not complaining, just trying to be as stalwart as my garden is. Which is very. If you need a pep talk on why this craziness is actually good news for Oklahoma, please read this article by a local meteorologist. Good stuff.

Our fair city’s annual Festival of the Arts is this week, and I can’t wait to have time to go! It’s always fun. Great food, gobs and gobs of visual inspiration, breathtaking flowers… Oklahoma City has really come to life in recent years, and we are all very proud of the progress and liveliness. If you’re local and want to go with me, drop me a note! Here is a link to the schedule.

Tonight is World Book Night. Global activities abound, all of which I failed to plan on joining. But we can make our own fun, right? At the moment I am polishing off our book club’s current selection, Don Quixote. It is hysterical. And later today to celebrate World Book Night I want to make a lampshade out of old book pages. And return my library books. Which are only three days late. That’s kind of a record for me.

   Okay, honestly you guys, this list of random things that make me excited today could easily be three times as long, but the farm awaits. And my coffee cup is empty and cold. So I wish you all a super happy day! Allow yourself to be overwhelmed by beauty and opportunity rather than burdens. This month, this week, today… with all of her unique challenges and benefits… will only pass by you once. Grab it all!!

“I got a fevah!
 and the prescription is 
 MORE COWBELL!”
~Christopher Walken
xoxoxoxo

   Hello there fine fellow bibliophile… What are you up to today? What is on your table to read? Are you progressing quickly and easily through it, or is it requiring some effort?

   I just finally polished off a book that should have taken me far less than the eighty-nine years and six months I spent reading it. But it is an excellent book and I did enjoy it and would love to chat with you about just a little.

   Please pour yourself some sweet iced tea or something and get comfy for a few minutes… We can have a tiny little book club meeting, just us.

   The book is Typee by Herman Melville. Yes. That Melville. The same author of Moby Dick. Typee is lesser known to contemporary readers, although that may change with its recent re-publication by Rare Bird Books.

   What’s interesting, before we get to the book itself, is that Typee, while not his most critically acclaimed work, was evidently Melville’s literary debut and was a huge commercial success. Isn’t that refreshing to hear? So often we learn about great historical talents who suffered and struggled for their art, living as paupers and often dying penniless and unknown, their names connected only to posthumous fame. But not Melville, at least not in his beginning. He splashed onto the publishing scene in 1846 with this tantalizing story about a man’s sensuous and eye opening experience living four months among savages on a remote Polynesian island.

   The story is fascinating, and it’s less than 300 pages including the foreword and epilogue. Why it took me so long to read says more about me than this book.It is written in that somewhat bulky, long-winded 19th century style. Just not my fave, you know? Also, Melville handles somewhat delicate matters in effusive ways that make sentences long and paragraphs longer. At least in my opinion. Again, this reflects more on me than him. When he gets to meatier subject matter, though, like observations of humanity and some detached philosophical questions about “savage” versus “civilized,” I am all into it. He speaks clearly to me then, making good use of the bulk and loftiness. But at least some of the sexiness of this Polynesian adventure is lost on me in the murk of so many words.

   Nathaniel Hawthorne reviewed this novel at its release, a fact which is perhaps more interesting to us now than it would have been then. Here is what he had to say:

“The narrative is skillfully managed, and in a literary point of view, the execution of the work is worthy of the novelty and interest of its subject.”

   Besides feeling a bit thick and cumbersome to me, Typee really does offer an escape if you relax and just read fluidly. Don’t agonize over every syllable. I read most of the chapters while Oklahoma was still in the grip of the bitterest end of winter, so what sensuous details I could evince were truly delicious. Coconut groves, topless group bathing in mineral lagoons, dark, dangerous waterfalls, and every aspect of this people’s peaceful, languid living… It grew into an oasis in my mind. And I thoroughly enjoyed a recurrent theme of innate chivalry, feminism, and easy desire…

“Nowhere are the ladies more assiduously courted; nowhere are they better appreciated as the contributors to our highest enjoyments; and nowhere are they more sensible of their power.”

   As for the philosophical questions Melville tapped on the shoulder, I think the most fascinating were about the differences between modern, civilized life and the savagery of the islands as he had experienced them. He does more than just highlight the obvious pleasures of an extended vacation in this Eden-like place; he points to the polluting effects of Christian missionary behavior and the deficits in Western culture.

   Melville asks directly and frequently the question, will the savage be happier if he is made “civilized?”

“In a primitive state of society, the enjoyments of life, though few and simple, are spread over a great extent, and are unalloyed; but Civilization, for every advantage she imparts, holds a hundred evils in reserve; – the heart burnings, the jealousies, the social rivalries, the family dissentions, and the thousand self-inflicted discomforts of refined life, which make up in units the swelling aggregate of human misery, are unknown among these unsophisticated people.”

   Overall, I enjoyed this book. I won’t read it twice, but I am glad to have tried it. Typee is part fantasy, part anthropology, part satire and social commentary, and certainly a sensuous read if you can relax enough to get past the 19th century style.

   Look for Typee at your local book store, like Full Circle in Oklahoma City. If you’re near me and want to borrow it, I am always happy to share books!

   Thank you, sweet Julia, for exposing me to something I would probably have missed without your guidance! Now let’s bring on summer. I need a lagoon and some coconut milk.

Read Unfamiliar Books!
xoxoxoxo 

   So… Yesterday I went for a run in the back field wearing yoga capris, a tank top, and my super cool, personalized, turquoise beekeeper’s ball cap. Within just half a mile I wished I was wearing less. Because of the heat and humidity, and because the wind had yet to really kick up, I was sweating buckets. My face and shoulders felt baked by the sun, and I loved it…

   Then around dinner time the weather shifted. Just a little.

   We were told to expect temperatures in the twenties, winds in excess of seventy miles per hour, hail, tornadoes, sleet, brimstone, earthquakes, landslides, volcanic ash, frogs, and locusts.

   Quite a switch from the warm, peaceful days of late.

 
   Natives to this Indian Territory are certainly accustomed to sudden and extreme weather changes. I’m pretty sure it was favorite son Will Rogers who first said, “If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait five minutes.” And generally I scold people for complaining about our mysteries of meteorology, because we all know it changes on a whim and we can’t do anything about it anyway. Right?

   Before I continue, let me stress that I am NOT complaining about the rain. I love it. I love being awakened by thunder. I love seeing the thin, silver streaks running downhill in our middle field, helping the pond to rise slowly but surely. I love the green grass turning greener because of the soaking. Everything about this steady, gentle watering is good. The forests already look healthier, and I rarely have to water the gardens right now.

   Rain is good. Cool weather is fine. Storms are inevitable. I get that.

   But this.

   This is Crazy-town.

   The forecast had me in emotional twists. I asked my Facebook friends to vote: Would you rather endure a last minute ice storm or a tornado? The vote was evenly split. Nobody was really happy about it.

   Going into the stormy evening I was stressed. I was worried about the animals, particularly our two horses. It’s not that they cannot handle cold, wet weather; it’s that big, sudden changes can be dangerous. I was worried about my thriving vegetable beds and new little fruit trees which have recently set blossoms. I was just worried. Worried and mad and irritated that only a few days away from the biggest planting week of the year we could be losing all of our beautiful progress.

   The two raised beds that have food in them have really been making nice strides. The broccoli, red and green cabbages, cauliflower, spinach, carrots, sweet pea and English pea vines, brussell sprouts, kale, and lettuces just seem to be growing by the hour. It’s all super exciting. And very, very delicate.

   See how pretty it is? And this photo is a few days old. They have grown even more since then.

  My husband knows how much I love these tiny gardens, how much time and energy I spend day dreaming about them. And he loves me. Too much sometimes. So after work yesterday he marched outdoors as I was preparing to cover it all with just some plastic tarps, and he insisted we could do better than that. He nailed old stockade fencing across my two planted raised beds.
 

 
   I fell in love with that man all over again.

   We slept soundly last night, waking only to enjoy the symphony of a thunderstorm. At dawn, we peered through the silver mist and found all the animals tucked away safely where they belong. The geese were honking plaintively. The roosters slept late, warmed in their coop with their feathery harem.

    In contrast to yesterday, today, just to do an hour’s worth of work outside, I wore seventeen and a half thousand layers of protective clothing, a pair of heavy gloves, rubber boots, plus my super cool, personalized, turquoise beekeeper’s ball cap. And I was still freezing. I fed and pitied the animals with all my heart, found nine fresh eggs, checked on every ice-capped corner of our farm, then retreated back indoors with numb fingers, slightly wet feet (my left boot had split open), and a shivering rib cage.

   But not before going to see how the little green babies fared beneath their picket canopy…

   My birthday week is over, and let me tell you I was spoiled rotten this year. From lots of time with my beautiful youngest daughter to a completely shocking surprise birthday party from Handsome and a thousand of our fun friends, plus a bunch of really wonderful gifts including some cool mid-century lawn furniture from my parents… Turning thirty nine has never been more fun for anyone, anywhere in the world.

   So anyway, it’s high time I wrap up this little advice column. As I edit my final thoughts and prepare to issue these next sixteen pieces of hard-earned wisdom, I want to thank you guys again for your hilarious comments and emails and for your encouragement to share more of this stuff. It has been a blast! : )

#24. Invest in Girlfriends. I have wasted a lot of time in life, not to mention a lot of isolated feelings, underestimating the treasure of female friendships. Even with an incredible marriage (my husband is not only my best friend but also my favorite companion in life, plus the other good stuff, wink-wink…) and a wonderful extended family, having good girlfriends has enriched every aspect of my life. Being surrounded by smart, strong, happy, beautiful women is challenging, summoning the best version of myself when at times I might be tempted to be lazy. It’s inspirational, giving me fresh ideas and higher standards worth seeking. And it helps keep me in balance. My female friendships make me slightly less needy as a wife and slightly more understanding too. I have learned so many things from other mothers and wives, and I have gathered untold encouragement from them in difficult, otherwise crippling times. These myriad relationships have also demonstrated the value of individuality. I doubt you could search my bank of girlfriends and find two that are just alike. My life has been richly blessed with spice and variety, and I hope yours is too.

#25. Don’t Feed Citrus to Your Chickens. It makes their eggshells weak. I learned this bit of trivia just recently. I had been plumping up my own diet with tons and tons of citrus to ward off cold and flu, sharing the leathery orange, green, and yellow rinds with my flock each day. Then, once the chickens finally started laying eggs again, I found their shells were tender, almost rubbery, and very easily broken. After a little reading I found that most people advise against feeding citrus peels to chickens. Now you know, too.

#26. Use Nutmeg. In Alfredo sauce, in white creamy gravy, in spinach, and in lots of wonderful recipes, nutmeg is the secret ingredient. Nutmeg imparts a really subtle depth, and I highly suggest everyone learns to us it.

#27. Study Your Personal Lunar Cycle. And use it to your fullest life advantage. You now what I mean by lunar cycle, right? I hope you take the time to learn more than just which days of each month your purse needs to contain certain delicate accouterments. If you pay attention, you will discover that certain days of your month are wildly creative and beg you to dive into a worthy project. Other days are introspective and can reward you with valuable wisdom if you seek it. And still other days are good for high energy pursuits, for burning through frustrations and obstacles with a special kind of rage that seems to come out of nowhere. These are all natural and normal chemical events, and I hope you learn to control them and do not feel controlled by them. Please don’t become a negative hormonal stereotype. Also, don’t let society’s jokes about “PMS” shame you out of profiting from this almost magical cycle. I promise you, fertility is about much more than having babies and being easily annoyed.

#28. Build your Confidence. Stop being so easily intimidated by other women. Learn how to see the beauty in others without letting that destroy your view of yourself. It’s not always a competition. Enjoy your own individuality as much as you would want those other amazing women to enjoy theirs. I have discovered that some of the most intimidating women are often the ones most worth knowing. It is true that some women can be horrible, truly mean spirited, controlling, vindictive, and manipulative; but thankfully they are in the smallest minority in the world. Most members of our species are open and warm, generous, safe, and trustworthy. Treat each other that way and expect the best. Chances are good that you’ll enjoy new friendships instead of suffering through one bout of insecurity after another.

#29. Choose the Big Things Wisely. In youth it seems like anything seems possible, and really it is for a while, but as time passes we eventually realize that everyone has limits; resources are limited; time is fleeting. Everybody everywhere, all throughout history, eventually has to learn how to say no. So do you. So just learn how to more wisely spend your time, energy, money, talents, and other resources. Living life fully and with creative abandon is not the same as being wasteful with your stores.

#30. Travel Passionately. Explore the world to the best of your ability. Look for unique features in different cities, study the history and culture of those places, and talk to the people. Eat at local spots every chance you get, and avoid chain restaurants. Break your routines. Expand your horizons both geographically and inwardly. Eat slowly, absorb the details, and memorize ideas for your own culinary and decorating experiments later. Take an unreasonable amount of photos, and write down the details of your experiences quickly after you have them. You might be surprised what you forget later. When considering travel destinations, explore a variety of places. But then choose a few that speak to you and visit them often. Become a student of those places. Allow the street names and fragrances and sights to take up residence in your heart. Learn the place better each time you visit, and do your best to depart for home on good terms.

#31. When planting a flower bed, please pay attention to more than the easy colorful ruffles they sell in garden centers twice a year. Design with greenery, shapes, and seasons in mind. Consider scale here just you would in arranging furniture in a room. And remember that garden materials can be salvaged just like clothes, cookware, and furniture. Some of my favorite shrubs and flowering bulbs are either gifts from friends or dug up for free from strangers’ gardens. New is not always best, and expensive is not always necessary.

#32.You Have Two Ears and One Mouth. As a parent, as a spouse, and as a friend, whenever possible, and especially when it’s difficult, listen a lot more than you talk

#33. Eat Well. Eat more fruits and vegetables than bread and pasta, and drink more water than anything else. Keep it simple. Eat slowly. Also, don’t peel your produce. Keep the skin for the nutrients.

#34. Honor Your Parents. I can hardly write about this subject yet. I have made so many mistakes here, it’s painful and embarrassing, and I know I am somewhat reaping what I have sown. Just take my advice and  honor your parents for whoever they are and whatever they have done for you. It is almost certainly their best, which means it came at a great price to them.

#35. Manage Your Needs. In my husband’s profession, they use the term “Demand Side Management” which refers to reducing energy costs by restricting or managing consumption, not price. This applies to all areas of life. When you feel stretched too thinly, start by evaluating what you think you “need.” Internalize the fact that, materially speaking, having more often means simply needing and being satisfied with less. Simplify your life a bit to grow in contentedness.

#36. Celebrate Your Education. Whatever stage you’re at, stop looking at school as a burden and realize what a blessing and a privilege it is. Yes, it is possible to return to college later in life, and many people do, but right now may end up being the best possible time for school. Make sure you’re not putting school on the back burner for lazy or wasteful reasons. You’ll regret it.

#37. Smoothest Legs: The best way to get super smooth, silky, touchable legs is to first be really well hydrated internally. Then, scrub and exfoliate your legs in warm water; lather, shave, and rinse them; then instead of drying with a towel, rub baby oil into your skin and air dry. Pinky promise, this is the best way to be silky smooth. As a bonus, infuse your oil with a fragrance or spritz perfume on your legs as they dry. Ooh la la…

#38.Choose your Battles. Here is another piece of wisdom that people seem to have to learn for themselves, myself included. As I look back on my adult years I see so much unnecessary conflict and tumult that could have been avoided simply by humbling myself a little more or widening my view or just deciding the cost is too great. Yes, certainly, some battles are worth all the cost. Just learn to see them clearly. Your time and energy are so precious. Don’t scar your heart or others’ hearts carelessly.

#39. Trust God in Everything. Life will give you tens of thousands of reasons to celebrate, and you will have many years of easy trust in God because of His goodness and generosity. But along with this you’ll have plenty of reasons to rail against Him, too, plenty of times when your faith will shake violently and you’ll question everything. I’m pretty sure that’s okay, but be determined to move past that. Set your sights many miles past your current pain (it is temporary) and know deep in your bones that answers and miracles are being prepared for you. Wonderful surprises come out of the blue just as often as painful ones do. Trust God. Life isn’t perfect in our eyes, but He is. Do some star gazing on a clear night to adjust your perspective and feel small and safe again. He loves you.

   Okay folks, that’s what I want you to know. Life’s answers and secrets in thirty-nine pieces. I hope at least a speck of it is useful to you, and I surely appreciate you stopping in! Now my youngest and I are headed out for some fun errands and treasure hunting.

   What advice do you have to add?

“I’m a river. 
No matter whatever
comes my way
I will definitely reach the sea.”
~Anypriyo Mandal
xoxoxoxo

   How goes your week, friend? Are you clipping along, devouring earthly pleasures and churning out little accomplishments like the superwoman that you are? Are you gleaning insights and deepening relationships as you go? Are you counting your many blessings? I hope so. I hope January has thrust you into light and strength like you have not yet known.

   I have been enjoying a week of both pause and nourishment, a few days to really deeply water my roots in anticipation of a VERY busy couple of months soon to begin! It’s been kind of a breather between the holidays and springtime, and I have loved every delicious moment.

   Right now I am working through distilling my thoughts on Little Women while also reading through the hefty and completely worthwhile Dietrich Bonhoeffer biography. So I am flanked by both sweetness and grit, and it’s perfect.

   The gardens are whispering to me constantly, but it’s still time for them to rest. So I suffice myself with houseplants, seed catalogs, and manure collection. Are you planning your spring gardens yet?? I would love to know what my friends from around the globe can cultivate!

   Physically, my strength resolution is ramping up. In just ten days I begin half-marathon training, and that is pretty darn exciting! In the mean time, I just run as often as time allows, do a sit up here and there, and eat slightly less sugar than I did in December. Baby steps, you know?

   Speaking of resolutions and words, a couple of weeks ago Handsome and I opened the farm for one last bonfire of the holiday season, which turned out to also be our first social gathering of the New Year! It was so much fun. A handful of our friends (from different circles, by the way, which is so cool!) gathered around the fire, tossing in our past year’s regrets and pains into the flames, helping each other let go. We laughed and laughed and ate too many marshmallows. Then we wrote our intentional words for the New Year on a big chalkboard in our stairwell. One of these days I will actually download those photos and share the chalkboard image with you. As a group we came up with some pretty great words!

   I better scoot, but I wanted to wish everyone a very happy end to your week! I hope your first few weeks of this New Year have been good to you and good for you. Keep doing your best and count your blessings! Life is beautiful.

“Let us love winter,
for it is the spring of genius.”
~Pietro Aretino
xoxoxoxo

P.S. A very grateful thanks to my friend and fellow book clubber Erica for sharing this photo she snapped as she pulled into the Lazy W recently. We love our friends and treasure our guests so much! I really appreciate it when you share your joy too. xoxo