Here is a quick list of things I wish I did better. Things I’m working at improving. Weaknesses that need strength-training. Sources of occasional embarrassment. And some pain.

                                            

   Hello there! This is Handsome’s birthday week. He has ***miraculously*** taken off from the Commish for several days, and I am so happy. He needs the break, like for serious, and I love having him home. Each day this week is different.

     This is the front door. Those lights used to be super cute. But the plug got smashed in the door, so they need to go. That wreath looks so unfinished and blah. The gladiolus have been pecked nearly to death by the chickens. And behind this shipment of cheezits (that’s a whole other story) sits a really worn out concrete urn full of who knows what.

   Walking down the sidewalk, which is dotted with goose poop, we arrive at the jungle-like end of the east flower bed where I have collected rusty milk cans and this fabulous rusty iron garden bench. The idea is great in my head, but it just hasn’t panned out in reality. All of this needs some fresh eyes.

   But thank the garden heavens for zinnias. Amen?

   Oh boy. This is the kitchen door area. I actually love love love this tiny spot on the farm, but I am slightly ashamed to show it to you. This is where the herb bed brings me so much joy. This is where that green and burlap chair cradles watermelon vines. And this is where I grill steaks and chicken breasts a few times a week. Oh, and clearly it is also where we hang our wet clothes and swimsuits at the end of an outdoor day. Yesterday, as you can plainly see, was an outdoor day. That is my running bra and Handsome’s swimsuit and tee shirt.

   This is the herb bed again, looking up from behind it. Isn’t the morning sun glorious? Irresistible. It makes everything look so good, even it its messy jungle-like state, that sometimes I just let it be. Like, for three months at a time. I have plenty of weeding, feeding, and mulching to do in this area today, and if any bare spots show up I intend to fill them with something new. Perhaps zinnias.

   So that is my morning plan! I am looking forward to a cleaner, fresher look to the house entries, a cleaner, fresher mind and body after a nice, long run, and then some more birthday celebrating with my good looking guy.

   What do you have planned today? How is your garden looking? Are we still friends, despite the chaos and neglect I have shown you this morning?

Confession is Good for the Soul

XOXOXOXO

   Last night as the sun was sliding downhill, past the pond and behind where the coyotes lurk, I went to the garden to check our squash vines. Given the war I recently waged against the cabbage pests, I’ve been fully expecting to one day discover thousands of those flat, grey squash bugs devouring my third most favorite crop.

I zuchinni.

I frogs to a slightly lesser degree. But I love that they eat bugs!

   …two tiny green tree frogs!! And not a squash bug in sight.

   Dare I believe that these dime-sized creatures are eating the insects? Dare I hope to have a zucchini bumper crop this summer?

   Dare I stuck my arm in that thick vine forest to harvest said crop, knowing that frogs are nearby and might jump on me?

   I would honestly rather deal with the buffalo.

Chunk-hi, our four year old buffalo bull. We him completely.

   This morning we opened our weary eyes to light winds stirring up fresh air, deep blue and grey skies, and well watered fields. Another storm is moving in, but it’s gentle. Overflowing the banks of our pond as if with tears. The thunder is rolling smoothly today, a sad but soothing backdrop to this new reality.

   The animals are calm and safe. I am stunned by how normal everything looks, despite how it feels. Last night’s tornado swept just past the edge of our farm and touched down across the road. Our house, incredibly, is unharmed by the past two days of severe weather. This time, not even a shingle slipped out of place.

   We are in tact physically, but our true home, our hearts, are hurting deeply. Aching because so many in Oklahoma have lost everything. So much life is gone. And so many of our loved ones are in shock from close calls that can barely be understood or articulated. I cannot peel away from updates from family and friends, and proceeding with a normal day feels bizarre. It will be a long, long time before thousands are able to enjoy normalcy again. Never, for some.

   Storm season is part of life here in Oklahoma, and everyone has a story. So sometimes we joke about it; sometimes it’s exciting. Then sometimes we are struck down by it and reminded of the danger. Unfortunately most of us have by now dealt with the most extreme tornadoes, especially the folks in Moore, my husband’s home town.  Still, Oklahoma enjoys a civic intimacy here that I know is special. Something contracts us tightly, like a great loving muscle, when tragedy strikes. We are drawn closely together to help each other and to share each other’s pain.

   Please keep Oklahoma in your prayers for a long time. The shock will begin to wear off in a few days and those affected by this week’s devastation will need grace, strength and miracles. As I write this the thunder is rolling more and more. I cry spontaneously and can barely breathe, thinking of how many people are mourning the worst, most unspeakable losses.

   We have so much here for which to be deeply, forever grateful.

   Love your people fiercely, as I know you do!

“There’s a long road ahead. 
  In some cases there will be enormous grief 
  that has to be absorbed.
  But you will not travel that path alone.
  Your country will travel it with you,
  fueled by our faith in the Almighty
  and our faith in one another.”
  ~ President Obama
  May 21, 2013
xoxoxoxo

   This farm has lost its ever-loving mind. Every day we discover new chaos and silliness. Greedy horses. Specifically, Chanta. A pregnant llama who thinks its funny to never have babies. Honeybees who visit us but apparently sleep and make honey elsewhere. A parrot who screams wildly, with the appearance of random noise but with really specific messages we are slow to interpret. A cat who refuses the food we buy but also hunts the cardinals. A guard dog who escapes and runs free but gets spat on by a guard llama. A buffalo who has severe separation anxiety. Roosters who battle each other despite the fact that they share a harem of twenty hens. Geese. Just, geese.

   If Handsome and I couldn’t laugh about it, we would be clawing our faces off.

   So we laugh. We laugh so much. And our face or more or less in tact.

   Lots to tell, more to do. Happy Tuesday everyone!

   Over and out.

   xoxoxoxo