Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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monday, jack handey style

December 9, 2019

Today was as Mondayish as Mondays get around here. I procrastinated and then wrecked my treadmill workout and barely got four miles to register on my Garmin. My good intentions for a shampoo and manicure never came to fruition. Also, a possum was in the chicken feed bin and we terrified each other and screamed right at each others’ haggard faces. I did get almost all of my work list accomplished, though, including every speck of sweeping, laundry and ironing, and so far am keeping healthy despite some mean germs floating around. Tonight I am going to indulge in a brain-purge and call it good. Onward to Tuesday!

stop

Song lyrics by Dido: “No love without freedom, no freedom without love.”

On a recent episode of The Daring Romantics podcast, Lindsey Eryn offers encouragement to finish the calendar year strong, to keep up your good momentum. She suggested, among other actionable things, that we spend three hours per week on “future” projects, on goals that propel us forward. This feels so familiar and good. Back in my mutual funds selling days, we had marketing that used actual galvanized buckets as visual aids to illustrate short term, middle term, and long term financial planning: “Cash-Income-Growth. ” Time is as valuable as money. How we spend it could be divided into “work for this day,” or cash, “work for tomorrow and short term progress” or income, and “work for the future,” or long term growth goals. Love it.

Bob Goff reminds us:

“God never promised we’d have all the answers. What He offers to us is a box of crayons and the opportunity to let love draw bigger circles around the people we meet than they thought were possible.”

Joy is a super power. It truly is. Joy overcomes, transcends, illuminates, and emulsifies so many other efforts. It is the whole point, as someone else once said.

A local blogging friend of mine shared with me that she has been blogging less because she and her husband have been happily burdened with other projects. They are discovering fulfillment in other efforts, in family and a brand new ministry projects, and they love it. She described it as being “pulled by things eternal,” and being at peace with retreating from some of the more public activities. I love this.

One day last month I noticed an online blurb about it being “Fibonacci Spiral Day.” Of all the frivolous special days on the imaginary world calendar, this one made me happy. Jocelyn was the first person in my life to get really excited about it. She used to love talking about it on our hikes in Colorado, just the two of us, memories I will forever treasure. Since then I have noticed it in so many areas of life. So much synchronicity, you wouldn’t believe. And I have heard a few friends mention it here and there,  most recently Julia. Life cycles, patterns, descending and expanding ratios. Beautiful, pulsing repetition. It is mesmerizing on every level, how the Universe offers me this cellular rhythm. Julia lost her Dad this week, and I felt her pain like a hammer on my chest all the way from California. Send some comforting wishes in Julia’s direction. And please pray for Jocelyn, friends.

I have been reading and listening to podcasts a lot on the physical and spiritual benefits of fasting, far removed from fat loss. Amazing. Exciting! So many health benefits and so much long standing tradition. Handsome and I touched briefly on the topic of Biblical references to different sorts of fasts, different lengths and purposes, the meanings behind number of days, etc. Really interesting. Our bodies and spirits are so beautifully aligned. More synchronicity, more patterns.

Psalm 118:24 and so many other love notes from God, reminding me to stay present. Stay in this day and re-joy myself. We are designed to handle this much at once. This moment is where we can affect change. Today is gorgeous and perfect and is a gift.

Cannot stop thinking about the nature or character of God, gender or no, remote or internal (both?), timeless no doubt. I just have these creeping tendrils of curiosity about heaven and hell, too, because (feel free to call me crazy) I just don’t think these are future geographies or eventual destinations. I don’t believe we are on our way to either place, exactly. I believe more and more that we choose our heavenly or hellish state day to day, moment by moment. Our thoughts, our choices, the lives we design for ourselves, both the physical structures and habits and the interior landscapes, our relationships, all of it. All of it combined becomes our realities of personal paradise or personal torture. Okay. Feel free to ignore that thought. It is not quite complete anyway.

Also, just one more weird twisty thought please: I am gleaning so much from so many different sources that gets me feeling like our moral instruction is not about how we should be living, but rather, it all is just informing us about how the universe operates, how we can best thrive within the normal operating systems already in place. So it’s less about good and evil and more about alignment and friction. Typing those words make it seem suddenly and eye-rollingly elementary. But for me it replaces shame and false authority with calm and boldness. It’s a subtle but powerful shift in perspective. Leaves lots more room for co-creativity and for JOY! Okay, I’m done.

Seneca, paraphrased: “As each day arises, welcome it as the very best day of all and make it your own possession. We must seize what flees.” This is exactly what Carpe Diem means to me. Identifying what is unique and brief about the next slice of time before us, and making the most of those details., Also, seeing the best in a day, squeezing from it all the molten-lava-JOY you can! 

Quite out of the blue this past week, while doing some much needed, very average housework, I remembered lyrics from an ancient Christmas hymn: “That hope can flower from our grieving, that man can catch his breath and turn transfixed by faith.”

And here is a gem from Ann Voskamp, whose Advent book The Greatest Gift is sustaining me again:

“Sometimes the heart of waiting for the gift is the art of the gift.”

The waiting for the gift can be my art. My Advent. A way of staying awake and engaged with life, not just coasting, not numbing myself with running or cooking or doing rote chores in a passionless way. How we live and how we thrive in the midst of waiting for miracles matters very much. It can be a form of worship, the thankful and trusting spirit we harness and exude during dark times.

Have you ever thought about what it must have been like for Mary and Joseph while they searched for Jesus for THREE DAYS and he was just casually in the temple?? AHHH They suffered. Besides the foreshadowing of three days in the grave and the suffering they would do then, this briefly mentioned story in the gospel of Luke really gut-punched me this week. What a thing, to be asked to trust God with your child with no promise of how the story will end. And yet, who better to trust?

Ok. One last thing. What are the meaningful differences between yoga and stretching? How much does breath-work matter? And meditation? Can you stretch “cold” and still get the benefits, physically?

Also, can you get rabies if a possum screams his breath directly at your open mouth?

‘Bye!

2 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: daily life, thinky stuff

Dunbar Thoughts

October 16, 2019

Just a few chapters deep into Abundance and I am smitten. This is exactly the gritty yet conversational sort of education I have craved, specifically on the topic of outlook and positivism. This book, so far, is framing global well being and how we as individuals could approach big topics humanity faces, by breaking down not just socio-political and economic issues but also biological design. The how are we wired to operate kinds of questions that always grip me.

Ok. A full review and hopefully some deep discussion after I actually read the entire book, haha. Tonight I want to touch on one skinny little mention of a really interesting detail, from page 36 if you happen to have a copy. It’s the Dunbar Number, and it’s all about relationships.

After years of work and study, a researcher from Oxford University named Robin Dunbar landed on the anthropological fact that humans have evolved to nurture and maintain about 150 interpersonal relationships. One hundred and fifty. How does this number strike you? Because it has been swimming in my head all day (I really this around 5:00 this morning) and the number has felt both enormous and minuscule depending on what context I choose.

Relationships, though, not just contacts or followers or demographic-sharers. It’s also about more than just neighbors and classmates, though of course all of these people could provide life connection. But true, one-on-one, genuine relationships are, apparently, meant to be limited.

Can I effectively maintain that many though? Can you? Jessica and I explored this topic all afternoon, and Handsome and I did early this morning before he left for he Commish. (Two solid relationships, by the way, which I appreciate deeply and which will forever be worth cultivating.) They each had insight that I hadn’t even considered.

I find it fascinating to reflect on the variety of depth and quality that so many human relationships could display. Each one offers and demands such different gifts and efforts. And in those moments when 150 sounds high, I wonder if it’s because I am allowing my energy to leak out to lesser priorities in less meaningful ways.

Ok. I have dinner to cook and a few more chapters to read. Our windows are open, Klaus is snoring contentedly, and I am buzzing with gratitude for so many bouquets of late season flowers scattered around the house. Thanks for checking in!! Please share your thoughts below and I will respond. I hope to hear lots of perspectives on the Dunbar Number.

“The future is better than you think.”

-Peter Diamandis & Steven Kotler

XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

Dunbar Thoughts

October 16, 2019

Just a few chapters deep into Abundance and I am smitten. This is exactly the gritty yet conversational sort of education I have craved, specifically on the topic of outlook and positivism. This book, so far, is framing global well being and how we as individuals could approach big topics humanity faces, by breaking down not just sociopath-political and economic issues but also biological design. The how are we wired to operate kinds of questions that always grip me.

Ok. A full review and hopefully some deep discussion after I actually read the entire book, haha. Tonight I want to touch on one skinny little mention of a really interesting detail, from page 36 if you happen to have a copy. It’s the Dunbar Number, and it’s all about relationships.

After years of work and study, a researcher from Oxford University named Robin Dunbar landed on the anthropological fact that humans have evolved to nurture and maintain about 150 interpersonal relationships. One hundred and fifty. How does this number strike you? Because it has been swimming in my head all day (I really this around 5:00 this morning) and the number has felt both enormous and minuscule depending on what context I choose.

Relationships, though, not just contacts or followers or demographic-sharers. It’s also about more than just neighbors and classmates, though of course all of these people could provide life connection. But true, one-on-one, genuine relationships are, apparently, meant to be limited.

Can I effectively maintain that many though? Can you? Jessica and I explored this topic all afternoon, and Handsome and I did early this morning before he left for he Commish. (Two solid relationships, by the way, which I appreciate deeply and which will forever be worth cultivating.) They each had insight that I hadn’t even considered.

I find it fascinating to reflect on the variety of depth and quality that so many human relationships could display. Each one offers and demands such different gifts and efforts. And in those moments when 150 sounds high, I wonder if it’s because I am allowing my energy to leak out to lesser priorities in less meaningful ways.

Ok. I have dinner to cook and a few more chapters to read. Our windows are open, Klaus is snoring contentedly, and I am buzzing with gratitude for so many bouquets of late season flowers scattered around the house. Thanks for checking in!! Please share your thoughts below and I will respond. I hope to hear lots of perspectives on the Dunbar Number.

“The future is better than you think.”

-Peter Diamandis & Steven Kotler

XOXOXOXO

Leave a Comment
Filed Under: Uncategorized

threshold magic

October 2, 2019

Seasonal thresholds always excite me. The shift in energy and the changing scenery, both in nature and in life, are powerful stimulants.  This recent slice of days, this threshold between summer and fall, has been brackish and wonderful. A stained glass window of work and gardens, of romance and books and socializing. I am smitten all over again, and autumn hasn’t taken hold yet.

On the very last day of meteorological summer we woke up early and decided with measured reluctance to close the pool. The chlorinated water had finally turned cold and cloudy. We gave thanks for a truly gorgeous, extra long summer then stretched the giant, crunching plastic blanket across and around the metal pool frame. We threaded the steel cord through the grommets, tightened it, and sighed audibly. The task itself was pretty easy, but saying goodbye to swimming season was less so.

Later that day we joined friends and strangers at Savory Spice Shop in OKC for their annual pie baking contest, definitely a seasonal treat and tradition worth keeping. The wonderful assault of fragrances aimed my heart straight at the best of autumn. Cinnamon! Nutmeg! Apples! Perfect, flaky crusts of every variety! Pecans!  My amazing friend Kellie won with her perfect entry of Bonaffee Pie, banana and caramel confection. Heaven in a pie plate.

 This past weekend, Handsome and I attended a storytelling event called “Ricochet,” in Oklahoma City. It was hosted by our friends Shanna and Ryan McKinley. I shared with a room full of strangers a pretty ridiculous true story of my own and thoroughly enjoyed hearing all the other stories. So fun! The recording will be on Ryan’s podcast and I’ll share it when it’s live!

We also hosted another community painting event in the midst of some intermittent sun showers. The afternoon was pastel and mild and had a suspenseful, magical quality. We enjoyed a more intimate group than last time and a smaller meal, too. The sun sank just as we were cleaning up, casting golden light on the easels as if that night was the first time a true Golden Hour had ever happened. Things felt weirdly perfect for those transitional days.

Things here are neither crisp nor cool, not yet, but at least we are no longer battling heat advisories. This kind of humidity is manageable when not in triple digits, ha. And around midnight tonight a much anticipated cool front just might blow across our beautiful state. Already the normally deafening frog song has quieted. Where did they go?

Fresh mums and pansies are sneaking into my flower beds, making friends with summertime’s zinnias, basil, and cannas. Tomatoes are still producing, and newly planted seeds have sprouted into tiny kales and rainbow chard plants. I haven’t bought any decorative pumpkins yet, but I have scooped up a few small green watermelons from the garden, just to display, knowing they don’t have enough time to ripen before our first frost. They kind of look like little gourds. Threshold gardening, friends.  It’s a thing.

Change is happening. Slowly and more slowly still, then all at once. We just have to breathe deeply and notice it all. Every day.

“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.”
– Isaiah 43:19

Thanks to my local running friend Joe for sharing the above scripture at a most perfect moment for me. Autumn is its own elegant, wondrous time of renewal. Different than springtime. Mysterious and powerful. It’s good to be excited about it.

2 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: autumn, carpediem, Joy, Oklahoma, summertime, threshold, transitions

friday 5 at the farm, mid september

September 20, 2019

Another week of September has churned through us, and we are better for it all. How about a Friday 5 at the Farm post, before moving on? 001 Third Annual Talent Show:  Last Saturday evening our friends and family descended on the farm for the Third Annual Lazy W Talent Show. This event is a favorite of ours and just keeps getting better. This year the theme was “80s.” Everyone came dressed up (my sister called it being in full regalia and she was not wrong) and most of the crowd was also prepared with skits, musical acts, poetry, and even visual artwork. Our people make everything magical. And my husband went above and beyond to surprise me with a Kraft-paper “Berlin wall” which we tore down upon hearing the famous sound byte of President Reagan demanding that Mr. Gorbachev do so. He also (my husband, not Reagan) obliged my wish for a hand-holding group sing-along of We Are the World. Those details, plus Beastie Boys and Cyndi Lauper, paintings galore, and lots of 80s trivia, helped us make a thousand happy memories. 002 Eggs & Honey Galore: Hens in both coops are now laying eggs consistently. They are gifting us upwards of fourteen eggs per day! The smaller coop in the south yard boasts one large green egg plus one other deep brown egg and two miniature white eggs per day. The minis come from one extra diminutive Bantam hen and our very fancy white Polish hen named Zsa-Zsa. You may be interested to know that when you crack these tiny eggs alongside a standard egg, more often than not the yolks are similarly sized; it’s just that the smaller eggs have less of the liquid white. A quick and gentle beehive check on Thursday yielded a few cups of gorgeous honeycomb and some dark, rich honey, just a spontaneous theft. After completing my tasks, I stood there staring at the bees, mesmerized again. Thrilled that they are healthy and that both hives are literally flowing with more honey. I have a long list of repairs to do for Princess Grace before cold weather arrives, but it will be fun. Overflowing joy. What a gift and a miracle. 003 Surprises Daily & Learning to Anticipate the Best Ones: I had to start keeping a list of all the surprising joys popping up lately. It was uncanny at first; then I realized that much of it had been prayer requests. So are they surprises? Or really, should I have actually planned on these pleasures and reliefs? Big picture, God is telling me to trust Him even more deeply and to anticipate the best of everything. My requests are big, you guys, and I am excited. 004 Gardens & Animals Feeling the Gentlest Shift: With summer temperatures just beginning to relent, but with humidity hanging on for dear life, the gardens are voluptuous and overwhelming. Tomato vines are still producing. Basil and marigold plants are fluffy and demanding again. Zinnias and watermelons seem determined to pretend that summer is forever. The bachelors are so content in the mildness, they amble up for cuddles all day and never seem bothered by anything. Somehow the horseflies are easily controlled this year. I am okay with all of this. By next week, I will be filling bare spots here and there with pansies and seeds for leafy greens. Jessica has asked for help starting her fall garden, too, so that is its own particular joy. 005 Moon Cycles in Sync: Did you soak up the Full Harvest Moon? Do you have any little rituals or journaling activities that help you capitalize on the energy shift? If you care to chat about how female moon cycles intersect with actual (astrological) moon cycles, send me a message! I am learning a lot and feel like certain small practices would help most women. Okay, happy weekend!! Tomorrow we have a Batman outreach opportunity at the Boys and Girls Club of OKC, then a car show with friends, and on Sunday the annual pie baking contest, hosted by Savory Spice Shop in OKC. Hopefully we will also carve out some time with the Sweet Sperrys, for our own version of church. This should be a fun and restful few days for us. I wish the same and much more for you. Thank you for checking in! “Thread the Needle.” ~unknown XOXOXO

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Filed Under: daily life, Friday 5 at the Farm, UncategorizedTagged: animals, gardening, honeybees, Oklahoma

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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Lazy W Happenings Lately

  • to Judy at her baby’s milestone birthday August 26, 2025
  • late summer garden care & self care July 31, 2025
  • Friday 5 at the Farm, Gifts of Staycation July 18, 2025
  • friday 5 at the farm, welcome summer! June 21, 2025
  • pink houses, punk houses, and everything in between June 1, 2025
"Edit your life freely and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all." ~Nathan W. Morris

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