Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

friday 5 at the farm: highlights from the week

Five Stories & Memories Worth Keeping from Labor Day Week, 2018:

#1 Nourished

We welcomed September with a Polish feast at our beloved Sperrys’ home.

Pierogis (first for me!), kielbasa, sauerkraut, a big crunchy green salad, and then dessert…

Dessert may not have been authentically Polish, but I guarantee nobody cared. It was called “Banoffee Pie,” and it has changed our lives.

It’s a prebaked pie shell filled with slices of banana, which are drowned in a sea of homemade caramel, and all of it is then topped with a thick cloud of homemade whipped cream, and then some grated dark chocolate because Kellie loves us a lot. I googled the recipe and discovered that sometimes they are made on a shortbread crust, which I am sure is delicious as well. We ate it fresh that night with Kellie and Mickey; then we nibbled leftovers greedily for two full days. It’s one of those desserts that gets better with a little time in the refrigerator. Yum!

Evenings with the Sperrys are so great. We always eat well, which is sharing a meal, which is different than just grabbing a bite with someone. We laugh a ton. And we have deep and meandering, free-form conversations about anything and everything, all four of us. It’s pretty great.

Complete with so many pup cuddles, too. We are in love with their three dogs. This time, after dinner we joined them for a walk around the block. Don’t you love it when your friendships begin to include not just the big, orchestrated events but also the simpler pleasures and routines in life? 

#2 Season of Transition

Pool Season 2018 has been winding down. Every week, we have tried to spend as much time out there as possible. Whether we were in the thick of a tropical heat wave or hunkering down beneath more heavy rain, the pool has been surprisingly comfortable. But those temperature swings and the growing algae are making it all unmanageable. So Labor Day Week is very likely pool closing week at the W.

We are thankful to have been swimming for so many consecutive months this year. It’s been a lot of fun, especially with Bill the Rodeo Inflata-Bull. Ha! In fact, on Wednesday afternoon Jess (our youngest) brought a friend to the farm. They had a pretty entertaining competition over who could stay on longest. It seems there is a technique to not just staying on, but also to the getting on in the first place. If Summer 2019 includes more chlorine rodeo fun, we may have to agree upon a scoring system.  

P.S. I often tell the kids when I snap photos of them visiting the farm, that I will not share the photos online, haha! This is really tragic because they are all gorgeous kids and always take such fun and interesting photos! Anyway.  Please enjoy, instead, a photo of our dinner table garden bouquet and Jessica’s homemade pumpkin pie. Absolutely delicious! She altered the recipe in a few ways, and everyone loved it! 

#3 Back to Work

Having enjoyed so much time off together in August, this first week of Septemeber, although slightly shortened thanks to Labor Day, felt weird without Handsome at home.

The shift in weather definitely enhanced the overall feeling of a new season. It’s almost like back to school, although those particular autumn routines are far in our household’s past. Each “workday” for me this week has been packed with productivity, and my energy has been good and steady. I am noticing that Virgo draw toward deep cleaning and lots of order. I just miss our late lunches and easy afternoons, chilling together. xoxo It was another very good staycation. 

#4 Wet, Unfueled Run & God’s Timing

I had planned on a 12 mile run for early this morning. I ate a good dinner Thursday night and slept well. Unfortunately, we woke up to not just the predicted rain, but flash flood warnings. I normally would eat a bite of peanut butter toast or something before a run that long, but given the time crunch, I decided to just get to the trail asap and grab as many miles as possible, then see what the day might hold. (Treadmill finish is always an option.)

I ran and ran, giving thanks for the excellent glycogen stores from last night’s chicken and broccoli-rice, clicking off one mile at a time. The rain stayed soft and gentle, with lots of black clouds but no lightning and no floods. So I kept running. Eventually, I hit 9 miles at that easy pace then got really tired and really hungry, haha. Then the asphalt got slippery, so all of that together meant that I slowed down quite a bit. The morning finished with exactly 11 miles, injury free, ha! 

This story is worth remembering because YES we can do more than we are prepared to do and because YES if God’s timing can be trusted with the big miracles in life, then surely His timing can also be trusted with little things. One mile at a time.

#5 Thoughts on Loop

I almost cannot stop thinking about a few topics:

  • Adaptogens and adaptation, not just in health and fitness but in all areas of life. Humans are so adaptable! 
  • Will I ever be able to grow zucchini again without squash bugs making me crazy? (spoiler alert, unlikely)
  • The fine line between prayer and meditation and how slow-paced running is definitely related
  • The movie Interstellar (which I haven’t seen in a couple of years but the themes are always with me)
  • Granola, mostly pumpkin infused with lots of coconut, nuts & seeds, and dark chocolate
  • Exactly what to plant in the two big rubber troughs flanking the barn mural

Regarding those trough planters in the above photo: I have some ideas but would love your suggestions! They are both filled almost to the top with well rotted manure, they get eastern exposure, and they are some of the first things you see before parking your car along the gravel drive. I would love some ideas for year round liveliness or at least seasonal color. Thanks!!

Bonus Content:

Friends, we have a few huge miracles brewing, from several areas of life. We have for so many months asked for prayer, and we appreciate every single one.

Now we are in a season of giving thanks. Giving thanks for the present moment, for the hope that keeps us moving, and for the ever increasing evidence that God is working behind the scenes in supernatural ways.

Please keep it up! And please know that we are thrilled to send you Love and pray for you every time you need it. Just let me know.

Tomorrow is Jocelyn’s 23rd birthday. I am so happy and so grateful, I keep catching myself giggling and weeping over it all. 

God is good. Life is beautiful. The whole adventure is just amazing.

Happy September!! Talk again soon!

XOXOXOXO

thoughts on filling a god-sized vacancy

God-sized vacancies.

In recent months some trusted and deeply loving friends have helped us come to grips with features of addiction, and the simplest and best message from all this has been the idea that every human is born with a God-sized vacancy. We each have a space within us that only our Creator can fit, satisfy, and make whole. 

Until we understand that, we all stumble about, trying a million different things to fill the void. We ache to not ache anymore, so we seek after things that will hopefully numb the pain, things like unnecessary food and alcohol, needless shopping, miles and miles of running, drugs, sex, and more. Everyone has something which can be taken to excess. It’s never better than a temporary pleasure, like drinking salt water to quench a very unique and specific thirst. Often it becomes a truly destructive force.  

The more this idea comes into focus, the more it helps me, both in private ways and as I think about and pray for my family. It’s become a touchstone for considering daily choices and evolving priorities:

  • Do I crave this (whatever) because I am aching for God in some secret way, and I need to tend that first? Is this pursuit a poor substitute for the Real Thing?
  • Or do I genuinely feel close to Him, and this craving compliments my spiritual walk?
an expanse of mountains draws out my thoughts and feelings the same way a starry night can

The notion of a God-sized vacancy has recently ignited an exciting new way to pray for loved ones who are suffering. A way of praying in order to close the gap which has been unapproachable to me.  

Find her and meet her needs in a mysterious and surprising way, just as you found me. Speak to her in the voice only she will recognize, just as you did with me years ago and still do now. 

It has been transformative, as simple as the idea is. 

Here’s a relevant passage from the Jesus Calling undated daily devotional:

Seek My Face, and you will find all that you have longed for. The deepest yearnings of your heart are for intimacy with Me. I know because I designed you to desire Me.

We are designed this way. It’s not a deficiency. It unites us all, you know?

I love these short verses in Psalms 42…

As a hart panteth after the water brook, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?

No earthly thing, no pleasure or possession or goal or anything, no matter how good and beautiful, can satisfy that deep, innate part of us meant only for Him. This isn’t terrifying to me; it’s deeply calming, comforting.

So this is all just some food for thought if you sense any reflexiveness or false satisfaction in your heart. If you have a hunger that is not satisfied by normal earthly things. And maybe especially if you love and pray for someone who is struggling with addiction or a lost feeling, a pain that nothing in your control will assuage. 

“Two powerful words that will instantly change your life…
I CHOOSE.”
~Carolee Waddoups
XOXOXOXO

 

life after travel, garden thrills, & loving staycation

Home sweet home. After a week away, we are back at the farm and loving every minute of it, soaking up every detail. In fact, our front-gate landing in the wee hours of Saturday morning segued neatly into a week of stay-cation, a July tradition to celebrate our wedding anniversary. 

Seventeen years!

It’s good and healthy to be away, to break from routine and explore a new part of the world. Last week we had the opportunity to see Virginia for the first time, in large part to join my family for a really special family event. (More on that soon!)

Mom and Dad with our entire family, missing only three of the grand kids. Baby Connor was asleep and my two girls were back in Oklahoma.
group candids are hard

Then it’s so refreshing to get back and return to normalcy. Home comforts. Farm chores. Oklahoma heat and humidity, even. All of it. Mostly home-brewed coffee, you know? I mean I’m grateful for restaurants and coffee shops, but…

Nothing compares to waking up at 5 a.m. to walk around in a tee shirt and day-old makeup with the day’s first perfect cup of coffee. Surveying the gardens at daybreak, with that first hot drink, it’s my favorite. 

The relief of being home rarely has anything to do with being desperate to end the travel we have just enjoyed. In fact, sometimes the more beautiful the trip, the more fervently we dive back into real life. We are recharged, deeply nourished, and ready for more living.

I ought to write more about what specifically we glean from each trip we take. New Orleans, for example, is a vastly different experience form Virginia Beach, and so the bring-home wisdom and inspiration are totally different. I love it all.

sunrise on a Virginia beach
“Let’s go hiking. Can we hike? Le’ts go THERE.”
Jamestown settlement! We actually made it!

sunset on the way home

This recent homecoming gifted us with everything we needed. Lots of rest, plenty of Klaus cuddles, some time outside, some time with movies and popcorn. Romance. It is our anniversary, after all. We have enjoyed a few days of slow-paced home-bodiness, having left only for groceries and one dinner out with friends. And I think I have run at nearby paths three times.

Everything has exploded with life and color, texture, fragrance, and pollinators. The growing things are all so big and thick. Lush, although I use that word too often. We walk from the house to any flower or vegetable bed nearby and share the pathway with bees, wasps, butterflies, dragonflies, and bumbles. So far not one sting. Just lots of fly-bys. Yesterday I mixed up some simple syrup with essential oils to offer the bees. Such a thrill to peek inside the hives and see what progress they have made since spring.

One raised bed is filled to the brim with tomato vines. Jungly, unkempt, wild in the best ways. And not a problematic bug in sight. The vines are so thick and fuzzy that a smattering of marigolds and basil plants are barely seeing enough sunshine to grow properly. Ha! But they are trying.

Every morning since we arrived home I collect more green or pink tomatoes, all shapes and sizes, absolutely ugly-beautiful. Some are pale purple, which is cool. Heirlooms. And they ripen more quickly than I expected. The photo below was snapped on Sunday morning, and by Monday afternoon they were all ruby red. 

And delicious, I don’t mind telling you. Raw, just salted, is divine. I can’t wait for pasta night to make my own marinara. Maybe a sun-dried version too, soon? And tomato-watermelon salsa? Yes. A tomato tart!!

Quick tomato tip: This afternoon I accidentally broke off a good, healthy branch from one gigantic plant, but instead of tossing it to the compost I just stripped the lowest suckers and dunked the whole thing into a tall, strong jar of water.  In a few days, it should have sprouted hairy little side roots and be well on its way to a autonomy. Ready for soil. 

bumblebee on a zinnia in the Blue Bike garden xoxo
I’m obsessed with voluptuous hyacinth bean vines, and this one growing up and over the French Quarter trike is my fave. It is kind of a centerpiece for the shade garden, at least to me.

Basil plants elsewhere on the farm, the ones not choked out by tomatoes, are lush. (So sorry, it really is the perfect word.) I have lots of pesto recipes in mind for the rest of the month. Come over for dinner if you groove the spicy green goodness.

Tonight we get to see more friends for a few hours. The husbands are installing a much-anticipated Corvette engine. We plan to get some local Mexican food, which is great because last week I suffered some pretty outstanding food poisoning from a subpar taco salad out east. I cannot wait to have girl time with Kellie, too. She dives deep in conversation, and that’s one of many things I adore that about her.

Life is really beautiful right now, even with the unknowns, the lingering petitions. I am keenly aware of how drenched in blessings I am. So happy about our trip and even happier to be home, exactly where we are. 

More soon, I hope you’ll check in!

And feel free to send me alternates for the word lush so that I might describe my gardens with more variety. 

“Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
be it ever so humble, 
there’s no place like home.”
~John Howard Payne
XOXOXOXO

 

 

my favorite tree in colonial williamsburg

This past Monday morning, Halee, my brother’s wife and one of my truest friends on earth, brought me with her two boys to Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia. We explored everything slowly and had such fun before a super refreshing and kind of fancy lunch.

I rate fanciness by the smallness of an espresso cup, and I’m telling you that “The Blue Talon,” a French bistro, provided a thimble. But the food was plentiful and delicious!

super fluffy omelet stuffed with veggies and an arugula salad…xoxo

One memory from the day will forever stand out. It was this magnificent old tree in the middle of the village.

We were all walking toward the restaurant area when we spotted it, and looking back the day would not have been the same without this small excursion.

Greg, soon to be a second grader, was all in when I suggested we climb it.

It was one of those ancient trees, undamaged by ice storms, several stories high and just as broad. A dense, shady, domed paradise. Was it maple, I think? Not oak. Something else. It boasted thick, sprawling branches as substantial as tree trunks themselves, the kind that reach out several yards away to touch the earth then curve back up and out again, elastic and strong. The actual trunk of this specimen was downright beastly. As big in diameter as a freight elevator. I easily imagined a spiral staircase carved within the wood, secret and hidden. Lit by elves with magical glowing rocks, instead of candles, leading to a subterranean apothecary and library.

The tree had both masculine and feminine qualities. I felt both vibrating, alternately, as we played. It was everything you want an old tree to be.

A braided steel cord ran up from the ground, along the smooth but deeply textured bark, up toward the sky. The cord had popped free here and there from its spiked tethers and eventually disappeared into the leafy canopy. We said it was a live electrical wire and took turns pretending to shock-zap each other with its nearness.

Okay, I admit I thought it was a live wire and sweated in my armpits a little when my calf accidentally touched it.

As we climbed and scooted around, the conversation flowed freely.
At one point Greg unknowingly touched on one of my most favorite philosophical topics, fear.

“Babies don’t have any fear.” His little brother, Connor, played contentedly on ground level with his Mom.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because they don’t know anything yet,” Greg answered, shrugging his tiny shoulders and wiggling his close-cut, bright red hair. Freckles shining in the shade.
“Like, what can happen?” We had been trading commentary about which branches were the safest route, how a fall to the ground might feel, why I hated busting out my teeth, etcetera. I was in a full body, wrap-around, chimpanzee grip on my chosen branch.
“Right, all they know is their Mom and Dad and stuff.” Greg was walking upright like a kid from the Swiss Family Robinson, counting black ants as they raced around his sneakers.

“So maybe that’s why grown-ups worry so much? Because they know what might happen?” I was not too subtle about defending my dental catastrophe concerns. My fears.

“Maybe, but still I’m not scared,” Greg said this with absolute lightness, and he scrambled a little further away.

A few strangers were passing by beneath us. We heard one man say to another, that there were signs posted not to sit on the tree. Soon Halee figured out it was a small deception by that man meant to keep the second man from violently bouncing the lowest branches. Or maybe to keep his own kids from climbing the tree, because they definitely saw us. There were no posted warnings, but the whole scene played really nicely into our exchange about fear and adulthood.

And persuasion, using both truth and untruth.

Greg observed that while adults may have fears, it’s up to kids to convince them otherwise. Kids are there to persuade adults, in his words. Just as he was managing to persuade me to keep climbing.

This is where I confess that while it was originally my bright idea to climb the tree, one of my very favorite things to do in life, eventually I needed motivation. Mostly because after kicking off my wedge sandals I found the bark to feel much smoother than expected and my bare feet had trouble gripping. Plus, you know, my teeth you guys. The burden fell on my young nephew to keep me from giving up. Once when I nearly disembarked (ha! Get it?) near the trunk, he persuaded me to stay in the leaves with him and retrace the long limb we had just traversed, exiting instead the long way down. He said it would be more fun. He used truth to persuade me, unlike the man had done, and he celebrated this fact.

Also. Let me point out that from the get-go I fully expected Halee to keep our adventure in check. I thought she would slow the roll if needed, and at some point, I was kind of counting on that for personal reasons.

But she didn’t. Apparently, I was the only fearful adult that day. She just stood there on terra firma, cheering us on, encouraging further exploration and assuring us of how manageable the jump would be should we feel the urge. Once, she even offered her slender shoulders when I hesitated at the 8-foot drop.

Thanks, Halee. (haha!)

And thank you, Greg! I am so glad we explored that beautiful tree together and I feel enlightened by your young mind’s view of fear, persuasion, trust, and fun. I love you. Meet me on the trampoline anytime, too.

Signed,
Your Slightly Nervous but Fun Loving Aunt Marie
XOXOXO

Epilogue: Since this day, my whole family visited Colonial Williamsburg, and rumor has it that three generations of tree-climbing Dunaways made a memory together in those gorgeous, substantial branches. I missed this fun but enjoyed the photos immensely. Life is good. Trees make it better. 

weekend moments & a serious question

Friends, honestly, these days I am enjoying more fun and more overflowing love than any one woman deserves. I could blog all day every day and not keep up with the thousands of beautiful details.

My private notebook journal is filling up quickly with sketches of daily life, and my phone is loaded with snapshots from all the diems being carpe’d. I try to stop, breathe deeply, and soak it all up, try to somehow slow the clock, which only works a little. Life is full to bursting in the best ways.

My sister Angela recently celebrated not only her 40th birthday but, more importantly, her third year of sobriety. I cannot overstate the joy here, the refreshment and encouragement it brings our entire family.

So many swim nights!! Pup friends make it even more fun. And I love my husband. Gosh.

I want to share more stories from our family Seattle vacation. You deserve full and proper reviews of Radium Girls, a book Gen and I read in tandem (fascinating and disturbing!) as well as The Book of Joy and some peripheral reading I am doing about prayer and meditation.

Running and fitness are going pretty well, although I am not training for anything and in fact and going pretty easy on my schedule just to enjoy summertime. I’ll pick up a new marathon plan late July.

The gardens!! The gardens on every side of the farm are pure joy and explosions of life. 

Lots to talk about and many good stories to tell, and not just the surface beauty. Our prayers are being answered in deep and stunning ways. 

Here are a few more happy photos, then if you will stick around for a few minutes and indulge me, I have a serious question about something. It’s a long-standing curiosity I have had, and it appeared in the book I finished.

Our friends’ son Tanner, taking some chalk art very seriously. Cutie!!
We were all at a car show in Stroud, OK, and had lunch at the semi-famous “The Rock.” Fun!!
The Bandit & Leroy!

My running friend Marcia has just retired from an incredible military and teaching career, and she celebrated this weekend. I was so happy to attend her party. She is widely accomplished and much loved by her people, and I left having made a new friend! Such a happy event!!

This morning I joined three other running friends (all women I admire so dang much) for about 8 sweaty, low-heart-rate miles and then some Panera food and coffee. All four of us happened to order the exact same delicious whole grain sandwich with egg white, spinach, and avocado, ha! We caught up on the life stuff we don’t put on Facebook and wished Lisa well, who is soon relocating to Colorado. Tiny T posed for a Boomerang video but is still thinking hard about a worthy caption. I love mornings with running friends. I don’t do it enough. They are fantastic humans and very positive, healthy influences. STRONG HAPPY BOSTON QUALIFIERS!!

Here is the fascinating (to me) question:

Do you think the world at large is improving, or growing worse, or is it neutral? Why?

What about your individual, private life? Please tell me why you fee this way, if you can. 

Okay, now Handsoem and I are getting ready to drive to OKC for my beautiful Mom’s birthday dinner. Nice and casual, just immediate family and a few of the grand-kids. We will feast on excellent Tex Mex food plus two homemade desserts per her request. She is 60 today and we all love her so much. Another topic worthy of its own deliberate blog post. My mom really is the best. 

Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts on this topic, friends. I can’t wait to read what you write. And I will be sharing soon why it’s on my radar and what the book had to say. Super interesting stuff.

Happy Sunday evening!!

Carpe those Diems!

XOXOXOXO