I went to sleep Sunday night in a grim mood and, despite sleeping well, woke up more or less the same way. Except with the benefit of a crystal clear dream, something that eventually motivated me.
The rest of the day was, in fact, just another Manic Monday, though in the dream I was not kissing Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream.
The dream was just a short little thing about social media, what to do when I wake up, and some big wishes finally coming true. (Sometimes my dreams are more like glyphs than storyboards, ok, just go with it.)
Today was the kind of day when I needed a pep talk, and I was frustrated that nobody was around to offer one. I don’t have Monday morning staff meetings or a manager who gives me feedback or even children at home whose mood and radiant lines of success might give an indication about my own. I have lots of beloved animals, but their feedback is, let’s face it, pretty narrow in scope. They know nothing about my life goals or spiritual path or overarching, you know, peopley stuff.
Normally happy way deep down in my bones and on fire, especially in the early mornings, today I just went through the motions for a few hours, doing the normal basic Monday tasks. Then went for a run.
My mind was a maelstrom of negative thoughts, so much so that by the end of eight miles my face was as wet from crying as from the rain.
Because of course it rained all day on a Monday when I was feeling super pissed, haha.
Normally I love the rain. Anyway.
But for the dream that warned me about something as much as it encouraged me about some promises, I might have vented on Facebook. Instead, I breathed deeply for many hours and just tried to keep steady.
It had been a while since I felt the need to fake it till I make it. But a lightbulb went off.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be fake. Maybe at vulnerable times, we can simply choose a better thought. Take a deep breath, acknowledge the bummer feelings, then turn to embrace something better.
I’m a sucker for words and, in fact, believe they hold a lot of actual power. So I tried something. I just started writing down the annoying phrases that had consumed me all morning and reworked them into more constructive versions of the “truth.”
- I feel smothered. I am loved and needed.
- There’s too much to do, it’s never-ending. Life is full and beautiful.
- I’m gaining weight and don’t feel good. We have enjoyed a relaxing summer and food is plentiful.
- When will this nightmare end? God is in control.
- Everything is such a far drive away. We have the private oasis we need and love.
- Medical marijuana in Oklahoma? Are you KIDDING me?? People who need it will get the help they need.
- I will never qualify for Boston at this freaking rate. There is no time limit on good health.
- I miss her so much, this is killing me. God has reconnected you once before. He will do it again.
And so forth. I scribbled for a long time.
What struck me after a while was that the new, more pleasant versions actually seemed truer. More accurate. The darker phrases looked ugly and distorted.
Life really is great. Things are way better than they seem at times. And that was the nutshell of my personal pep talk to myself today.
The next time you need a pep talk and no one is around to offer it, try this exercise. Write down all the things that are ruffling your feathers and convert them forcibly, harnessing the power of words.
Choose a better path. Fake it for just a minute. You will make it.
is a force multiplier.”